Forums > Social Chat > So, um..... are you goth or what?

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SickpuPpyNinja Rockstar!
1,100 posts
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.

I haven't quite decided if this is for real or not. It is a link off of an Indie record distributer. If it's fake it's pretty creepy and if this guy is for real I think I'm scared shitless.

Warning signs that your child may be "goth"

See, and here all this time I thought that killing people for fun and drawing pentagrams with the blood of Christian babies made me punk rock. Pfffft. What did I know?

[ 16 June 2002, 21:04: Message edited by: SickpuPpy ]

Jesus helps me trick people.

tricksenBRONZE Member
29 posts
Location: lake district,england

i'm scared,i think i might be a goth!!i've always tried to stay away from people who wear too much eye make up,spend too much time inside and dance be moving one foot forward then one back.
BUT i wear black sometimes,am interested in hindu and buddist religions(my god!i have even been to hindu/buddist countries!!)sometimes take get a bit moody and wear wired symbols round my neck.NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.what is going to happen to me,is there a cure(not the cure)

***********************************to find your mind you have to lose it first!!

TheBovrilMonkeySILVER Member
Liquid Cow
2,629 posts
Location: High Wycombe, England

I particularly like the fact that if you use a computer or the internet, then you're probably a GOTH

And if you actually dance to music, then you must be a GOTH too.

This is the best quote though:
The fact is, GOTH culture is not isolated, and it is certainly not harmless. In fact, it is fast becoming the dominant youth culture in America, led by such so-called "artists" as Marilyn Manson, Rammstein and the open homosexual Elton John
- every GOTH I've known constantly listens to Elton John

The fact that the organisation is called P.A.R.O.D.Y kind of gives it away

But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

ValuraSILVER Member
Mumma Hen
6,391 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia

ummmmm this may sound really stupid but..... pansexual? HUH Spank my ass and call me charlie...

TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

KaliBRONZE Member
577 posts
Location: Berlin, Germany

Pansexual implies having a sexuality that encompasses a number of different tendencies, I guess you could say. It is, for example, someone that is attracted to both sexes, partakes in SM and vanilla role playing, is an exhibitionist, has various fetishes, etc. etc. Not that I would know anything about any of those things.

Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.

Kinudin (Soul Fyre)veteran
1,325 posts
Location: San Diego, California, USA

Judging by this, even though I wear almost all white (besides pants) I'm goth.


557 posts
Location: The Underworld

Kali. Like, yeah right! Miss Conossiuer.. conosier.. conosseure... AAAAH!!!

Az abouve, So below...

123 posts
Location: brooklyn

I do not think marylin manson is goth music...who is with me on this one...i mean like...hardcore goth music like old school cradle of filth...that my friends is goth metal...thats goth music...but marylin manson...thats just plane old rock...who is with me? (if you are offended in any way my apologies..this is just my possible view on the subject)

Follow Wuggarooism10)Dons't cheateth on thee's significant other9) If thou seest a pig that resembles thee's friend...dont eateth the pig...perhaps it is thee's friend8) If thou talkest shit..thou is a pansy7) Don't buttith into conversations for it will be over thous head6) Dont let stupid comments go unpunished they can only leadest to thous anyurysms5) Dont lie to your friends4) Thou areest what thou arest don't change thou for anyone 3) Masturbation isnt a crime2) When a horse comes up to thou and sayest baaa thou must run!1) Be excellent to eachother

SickpuPpyNinja Rockstar!
1,100 posts
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.

It's just like Green Day and Blink 182 aren't punk bands. It's just a whole new generation of kids who have no idea who they are or what they're on about tend to follow them. As this new progression gains popularity it becoms commercial and rather spoiled as you start getting more and more people telling you how you have to be if you want to remain in this "scene". Kids who think that wearing black and listening to ICP, Coal Chamber and Manson is all there is to life. It's sad really.

Jesus helps me trick people.

Phuhzzzie Wuhzzzie the Pumpkin Kingmember
141 posts
Location: Melbourne, the new Land of Nod

Well there I was after reading the site and half way through hurling abuse in the form of an email to the crator of the site because, hey I'm Gothic and not like that, anyways. I clicked on the more about the author link and lo and behold I found out that the site is a spoof. (hence the name P.A.R.O.D.Y.) After feeling stupid for a bit I felt better after reading that heaps of others had made my mistake. Moral to the story: Don't be too quick to belive.

A wise man once said to me, Hey! You! Get out of my wardrobe! and in a way, I guess he was right.

SickpuPpyNinja Rockstar!
1,100 posts
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.

Yeah, I didn't dig through the site as it was already 4:00 in the morning when I found it. The P.A.R.O.D.Y. thing was kind of a give away but you can't be too shure with concerned parent groups, coulda just been some bible thumper who thought he was being clever.

Jesus helps me trick people.

Thistleold hand
950 posts
Location: Nottingham UK

Upon visiting the site the 1st thing that came to my mind was *This has got to be a joke*. I am glad to see I was right. Hahahahahah.

Are we nearly there yet?

TwirlyVicnorthern monkey
235 posts

i dont think the parents should be worried about their kid being a goth, however

"Kills people for fun."


i really hope this is a joke!

vic xx

ex-hop-aholic, now inconsistent lurker...

184 posts
Location: London

Hmm, I was very disturbed to learn that Wicca promotes hugging. I will definately steer clear in future. Hugging is infectious and life-threatening. Not to mention the designer drugs mead and patchouli!

And I'm glad they pointed out that the Afghan Whigs may have an "association with at least one political party in pariah-state Afghanistan". My god, I nearly went to a concert once!

603 posts
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland, Uk

That could quite possibly have been one of the most amusing things I have ever read.......... infact......I have to leave now, as I fear I may vomit as I am laughing so much. What a big pile of shit!

Anyone think they are a Goth then?

Can miles truly separate us from friends? If we want to be with someone we love aren't we already there? If there is someone willing to show, and there is someone willing to see; magic happens. This is whem humans are alive. This is when the wingless fly.

1,551 posts
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess

Hmmmm.... The scary fact is that many Christian parents would actually believe that bullshit. I mean like hardcore bible thumpers like my stepmom wouldn't even let me in the fuckin' house after reading that. Mehhh, doesn't matter. It was quite funny to read, I mean when was the last time you heard MARIJIUANA being deadly.

You. Its whats for dinner!

As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.

The wave crashing on the beach

55 posts
Location: UK

I do not think marylin manson is goth music...who is with me on this one...i mean like...hardcore goth music like old school cradle of filth...that my friends is goth metal...thats goth music...but marylin manson...thats just plane old rock...who is with me?

Well if we want to get into classing MM then hes Glam Rock. It fcuks me off that now every Rock club plays shit like Wheatus/Blink 182/Feeder/Alien Ant farm/Sum 41. And less of the actual rock is played coz rock clubs are full of kids who are only into the "Scene" coz its "cool" and the "MM pisses my mum off mentality routine!"

i'm not a goth but do like nu-metal/Rock i like wearing black but i'm also a clubber and like UV reflective colours plus i like wearing skirts and girls tops.
I thought goths listen to stuff like: Type O Negative, HIM, Cradle Of Filth, Metallica, NIN, Sisters Of Mercy.
though most of the goths now are turning into cyber-goths=Listen to Industrial/Gothic/Gabba
Gothic dancing=twisty hand oriental stylee!
Head down; hair covering face and moving cobwebs out of the way in front of yourself stylee!
And the classic windmill spinning of hair and head banging are all classic gothic/rocker dances!!!

Beamers Hurt but double Beamers r u insane???Well actually...yes i am!

4,308 posts
Location: York, England

go to primary or secondary school in the US and you can hear all about how marijuana is deadly. kinda bugs me that. not taht i smoke or anything, but it's hardly deadly...

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

23 posts
Location: London, England

that site is great! according to that, i am sooo GOTH! however, i can totally sympathise with the heat exhaustion thing. and i have been accused of hearing music when the only sound is noise several times. ive also been accused of listening to baroque music. that was my gcse music student sister, trying to be clever.
but why must everything goth be drug or alcohol induced? im straightedge, yet still fulfil most of the warning signs. ah well.

wolfcub3223BRONZE Member
128 posts
Location: USA

that website is so wrong on so many levels bhudism and hinduism ARE NOT CULTS there sacred religion this website makes me so mad than they can mock 2 entire religions

Ich brauche Zeit
Kein Heroin kein Alkohol kein Nikotin
Brauch keine Hilfe
Kein Koffein
Doch Dynamit und Terpentin
Ich brauche l fr Gasolin
Explosiv wie Kerosin
Mit viel Oktan und frei von Blei
Einen Kraftstoff wie Benzin

SeyeSILVER Member
1,261 posts
Location: Manchester, UK

 Written by: wolfcub3223

that website is so wrong on so many levels bhudism and hinduism ARE NOT CULTS there sacred religion this website makes me so mad than they can mock 2 entire religions

The group is called parody...
Its a joke...

Where's your sense of humour?

Where on earth did you drag this up from?

Flame BoyGOLD Member
1,508 posts
Location: Out, United Kingdom

Looking at porn makes me a goth?


AAARRRGGGHHH!!! My giant stick broke!!! In two!!! My stick broke in two!!! ubbcrying

FireByNiteSILVER Member
Are you up for it??
349 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

I'm surprised that the sit is still around after 5 years! ubbrollsmile

According to that and a few comments from above 'bout NIN, Cradle of Filth, Type O Negative, Metallica etc etc I am sooo goth and have been for years wink biggrin

 Written by: Bram....

Hmmmm.... The scary fact is that many Christian parents would actually believe that bullshit.

So f**kn true, especially with the way things are with parents these days, too paranoid of something happening to their child.

Edit: What "we" can find going through as few pages of chat biggrin

Are you up for it?

alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees

i'd rather be called goth than EMO ubblol

gitaSILVER Member
.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
3,776 posts
Location: brizvegas, Australia

awww...emos are so cute! ya just wanna go up & give them a hug or a tissue or a sharp blade or something!! wink *kidding* (only about the blade though!)

i can't believe you dug up such an old thread!! ubblol it's amazing what people can find in the archives of hop!! ubblol

ooh & this is my fave bit from that site...

"Eats GOTH-related foods such as Count Chocula breakfast cereal." ubblol

oh & this one too...

"Smokes clove cigarettes" that is funny on too many levels! ubblol

*looks again* ubblol ubblol ubblol ubblol

do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

smile! grin it confuses people!

BurningHaloSILVER Member
46 posts
Location: Dumfries,South West Scotland

i only own one cast-iron cauldron, guess im not a goth then wink

the problem is there are so many guilable people out there,me being one redface tho the Elton John bit was a bit fishy.

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" Anon

51 posts
Location: Sunshine coast, Queensland

As a Buddhist I'm kind of alarmed, the one thing Buddhists live by is to not hurt, kill or eat any animals but the rest of the list i just found hilarious so after reading that list I'm pretty sure my 50 year mothers a goth, she wears black clothes(she has to for work) she spends allot of time on the computer(looking up French barges to live on) and i suppose she reads fantasy books to(fantasies of middle age woman running away to France)

Living is loving & Loving is Living
Lying is Dying &
Dying can be Lying if you let it...

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