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Organized Kaos


member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada

Total posts: 238
Posted:Here's my problem, It's been plauguing me for awhile and I decided to turn to my friends at HoP for some guidance...

I've been going out with a girl for awhile now and this girl is one in a million, I mean shes one of the amazing rare hard to find impossible, nice sweet, good looking, the guyz will understan what I mean. But my thing is I have always had issues with commitment, not necessarily being able to commit to just her, I have a fear always that I'm going to get screwed over or hurt in this relationship as I have been in the past. This feeling is killing me, the more my feelings grow for her, the more my fear of being hurt is growing...
I'm honestly so in love with her, but these feelings are interfering with everything. Today on the phone I started being really rude to her which pissed her off. Now Im left here, trying to keep this feeling down and not to screw up our wonderful relationship...

If anyone understands my feelingfs or comprehends what I typed, or has been in this position, please your advice would be great...

Kaos is Konfused and skared...


Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...

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SickpuPpy


SickpuPpy

Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.

Total posts: 1100
Posted:Well don't stress about getting hurt. If you spend all your time fearing that she'll do it one of two things will happen:

1) She will get so pissed at you in one way or another the ralationship will end, and probobly quite horribly and painfully at that.

2) You will end up sabotageing the relationship and it will end horribly and painfully.

Take it from someone who's been there the fear will only make things worse. All relationships end at some point weather you lose her now or later or in 50 years it's probobly going to hurt. So I would say go for it, commit. I am one of those people who would much rather have done something and regretted it than never having done something and always wonderd "what if".And if, god forbid, she ends up screwing you over you will be a better and wiser peson for it in the end.

My last relationship ended for reasons along those lines, and as much as it hurt when we split I'm still glad I did it, even though I was totally messed up for about a year.

But it sounds to me like the you dig this girl, and you make her out to be a sweet heart, so it seems to me that you have it bad for her already. It sounds like you're just scared, and you shouldn't make her suffer because of you own issues. That will just make every thing worse. Take it from someone who knows.


Jesus helps me trick people.

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arsn


arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...

Total posts: 1903
Posted:I think I know where your at, however the path love takes in our lives is different to how others love and recieve love. Organized Kaos, I need to know... what do you see when you look at her, do you see your high school sweat-heart, or do you see the most beutiful sight that god ever crafted with his own two hands. What do you feel when you hold her in your arms... do you fell the wieght of a person, or the embrace of the one true chance of happiness that you've always wanted, wished for, needed.

Do you remember the happy times... the first time your lips ever grazed past each other, feeling the warmth of her breath. Do you remember exactly how you came together, the first time you saw her, the first time you knew that she was the one, the one girl that you've waited for.

Have you ever laid down next to her and watched her sleep... watching her eyes flicker in dream, and kissed her softly, hearing her let out a soft moan...

Do you still smile when shes around... do you still love her as much as you did... or do you love her more now than yesterday but less than what you'll feel tomorrow...

Organized Kaos... I think you already know the answer... go tell her your sorry for how you acted on the phone... tell her it was just a mood... tell her you love her...

------------------------------------------
Truly great friends are hard to find, hard to leave, and impossible to forget


I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men

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Alienfox
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

Alienfox

member
Location: , United Kingdom

Total posts: 130
Posted:1)Phone and read her your post.
2)Go and find her
3)Have a drink
4)Talk
5)Drink more
6)Have lots of icecream

Does she have a sister?


- Alienfox -

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arashi


arashi

Pooh-Bah
Location: austin,tx

Total posts: 2364
Posted:jeez, arsn, after all that poetic waxing i might have to flirt with YOU too! you big hunk of a man!

-Such a price the gods exact for song: to become what we sing
-Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.
-When the center of the storm does not move, you are in its path.

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arsn


arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...

Total posts: 1903
Posted:Oh you... hehehe *girly giggle*

---------------------
Dont make me do something youll regret later.


I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men

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Paddy


back from the dead...sort of
Location: 4341'N 7938'W

Total posts: 884
Posted:Hurt is a part of life. If you commit yourself to something or someone, yes, you will be hurt, but at the end of the day I think it's better to have committed and have given something your all...even it means being hurt.

Life will have positives and negatives. You can avoid the negatives by denying yourself the positives, but then your life will simply add up to zero.

My advice: you obviously like this girl very much, so go for it. You will probably get hurt- there's no way around that- but in the end it will be worth it.

But do whatever you feel is right. Very best of luck to you man.


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Spiral


Spiral

Oolering Man
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire

Total posts: 729
Posted:Its just a variation on what sickpuppy said bro, but my votes with him, I'd rather think, "Oh well, I gave it my best" than "How the F******* hell did I let her slip through my hands? I must be some major A*******"

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Prag


member
Location: Bath or Oxford, England (depen...

Total posts: 17
Posted:I think Arsn, Sickpuppy and Alienfox have it down to a tee. Commiting again can be hard but you have to. Communication as Alienfox has said is important. Talk about it, she's meant to be a friend too. Try not to paint this girl by the past let downs. She may be the one but you have to find out by keeping it real. Don't self destruct or sabotage..
Crumbs I know what it is to look at a woman as though she was created as the perfect form by God in the heavens...The Aristotlian view point of the most beautiful form in the heavens.
Anyway, Been there, done the wobbly bit and met a chick/babe that says that the past girls' the one that should be kicked to the curb. Not you.
Hope it helps, keep the babe, remember your heart, you sound as though you know the score. Bon chance you lucky thing:)


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DarkFairyQueen


member
Location: The Underworld

Total posts: 557
Posted:'IkE' (EEKAY)- Your perception of the problem, iz the problem itself...
chin up!

Arsn... r we destined 2 be 2geather?


Az abouve, So below...

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Organized Kaos


member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada

Total posts: 238
Posted:So here's what happened, last nite I took a long walk to think things over, and I decided what I needed to do.
Surprisingly she called me right after she got home from her dance class, so I apologized and then I opened up to her about the feelings I was having and my fears, and she said she understood, and we talked about it for a bit, and I told her that I took a walk and I came to one conclusion that the feelings I had were stupid and all I know is that I love her so much and Ive never found a girl who means this much to me before and I only want to be with her.
And she was like, "youre completely nuts, you know that?"
and I was like "ya but you are too so were nuts together and thats the beauty of it"
and she was like "ya, in 20 years will we be together in the insane asylum?"
and I was like "I promise..."

hehe...and thats what happened, so kaos is no longer konfused, but is now happy...thanx for all your advice.

Arsn man, that was beautiful,
Kaos serenades Arsn with a mase song: "Arsn got the ladies, yaya" hehe you makkdaddy you...

maybe we should open up our poetry thread again sumtime soon...Maybe ill post one today cuz I rote one about my feelings last nite

[ 07 June 2002, 04:41: Message edited by: Organized Kaos ]


Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...

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xtremravr...was here..


member
Location: amsterdam..i wish

Total posts: 337
Posted:that is bbeeee-uuuuuuu-t-ful!!! good show kaos!! glad to see you got the problem worked out and are moving along strongly!! i just wish i could find a gurl as nice as yours

*wishes**throws penny in well*

and here is a little sumthin for you to get back on ur feet

there is that better o kool kaos???


Peace Luv Uni-t Respect Responsa-what?!?! Xtrem

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SickpuPpy


SickpuPpy

Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.

Total posts: 1100
Posted:A couple who is bonded in a healthy insanity is a wonderful gift. Crazy people are truly the salt of the earth. I'm glad you got your issue worked out. I hope everything continues to go well.

I wish I could find some one who is as crazy as me. If I ever find a girl who likes to play "Murder in the Dark" I think I may marry her.

Cheers,

Sick


Jesus helps me trick people.

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Organized Kaos


member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada

Total posts: 238
Posted:hehe...Xtrem, you never cease to make me smile...
Thanx I needed some cool smileys, but it still doesnt excuse you...but because I am a merciful one, I will only wrath on you with one wrathful smiley
hehe...
and something else man, dont worry, your girl will just pop up one day, and then, you'll be blindly skipping into trees, just like Kaos...


Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...

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