• All Purchases made this month instantly go into the draw to win a USD $ 100.00 credit to your HoP account.
 

Forums > Social Chat > Do men know what women want from them?

Login/Join to Participate
Page: 12
Twirly


Twirly

Shoryuken!
Location: Hexham, Newcastle, England

Total posts: 233
Posted:Pretty much that, do you think that guys, in general, have any idea what women really want from them? Do women really know what men want from a relationship? I'd really like to see this answered by both mens and womens, I think it could be an eyeopener.

If anyone has enough relevant experience to expand this beyond hetrosexual relationships, feel free.

Respect,
Davy


Delete Topic

ber seal


The Official London juggling ber spy. shh! dont tell any one
Location: the world (London)

Total posts: 419
Posted:NO NO NO!!! mad

well not at first any way.confused

and some times its to late by then. frown

but then I would be jaded.

I knew what my last girlfriend wanted.ubblove
but could not face giving it to her. to much in to the way I was to notice.confused
so I had to leave to find out.
then I knew I could give her what she wanted. ubblove
But by that point it was to late.angry
ubbidea I will know for next time.

But then they are all different, confused

so how can you know what they all realy want.

GIRLS HA. can't live with them
can't have lots of bed play with out them.

what am I to do???

biggrin any offers biggrin

ubbloco


When people says "plz" cause its shorter than "please" I say "no" cause its shorter than "yes"

Delete

Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Nope. And I don't care. tongue

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

Delete

Medusa
BRONZE Member since Nov 2003

Medusa

veteran
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Per...

Total posts: 1433
Posted:Know what men want?? Are you joking....if I knew that, I could become the richest woman in the world.



Most of the men that I seem to go out with (which usually ends up being my biggest mistake) only want one thing...and I am sure we can all guess what that is.



As for men in a relationship...hmmm....if I could only figure that out, but then again I think I might be too afraid find out.



The man's mind is a very mysterious place and who knows what their mind is thinking at any given time.



But then again they probably feel the same way about us!


Delete

Twirly


Twirly

Shoryuken!
Location: Hexham, Newcastle, England

Total posts: 233
Posted:I reckon it's a little wide of the mark when people say "men only want one thing." They do want other things aswell... its just they really really want that one.

I know I confuse the hell out of girls. I'll happily tell anyone exactly what I'm thinking, truthfully, but then my body language or my actions seem inconsistent with what I say (cos I act strange around people I fancy, what a useful trait,) people get confused and things go wrong.

Davy
PS
And I reckon womens want a lot more of that one thing than most will let on.


Delete

Medusa
BRONZE Member since Nov 2003

Medusa

veteran
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Per...

Total posts: 1433
Posted:I do agree that not all men want just the one thing. It's just the men that want more out of a relationship I never seem to be able to find! ubblol

I also have to agree with your post script (but please don't tell anyone I said so!!!)

If anyone can enlighten me as to how the male mind works I would kindly appreciate it.

Also can you give me some tips as to finding men that want more out of a relationship.....


Delete

Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Written by: Medusa


Know what men want??





THAT'S easy enough.



Sex! ubblol wink



OK, OK, at the risk of extending this into a "discussion topic," (Mods?), I've been both "straight," and gay. First of all, I want to preface this by saying that it's not about men and women. All men and all women are individuals, and as such, they want different things. Not everyone wants a LTR, not everyone wants sex, not everyone wants stability, wealth, money, kids, or anything else.



I haven't noticed many consistent differences between the men I've dated and the women I've dated as to what people want. In general, people want to 1) have fun, 2) not be lonely, 3) have someone who they can feel safe with. (there will be no good grammar today! ubblol)



And so the secret to a good relationship isn't about what you give your partner, but what you share with your partner. Yeah, the little romantic gestures that you make (a box of chocolates, a little "I love you" txt page, etc.) are all great, but they shouldn't be forced because they're what you think the other person wants.



In a good relationship (and I think I'm in one right now), any such things should be done not because the receiver of a gesture wants it, but because the giver of the gesture wants to give it. Obviously, there are times when you need to make sacrifices for your partner, of course. But a relationship shouldn't consist of sacrifices, it should be mostly giving. Relationships take effort, yes, but they shouldn't be all work, either.



When I look in my boyfriend's eyes, I see safety. I see someone who I can trust. I see someone who I don't feel like I have to put on an act or a mask and hide who I really am. I also see a really hot guy with a killer smile and a body to die for. That's what drew me to him at first. But who he is is what keeps me with him.



And, so, as a man who is dating a man, there's usually nothing in particular that I want from him that he doesn't already want to give me. All the normal romantic claptrap, like someone to cuddle in the morning or someone to kiss me good night is just that...romantic claptrap. That's just stuff that naturally happens in a good relationship without anyone particularly trying.



Finally, a word about arguing: arguments happen when two people have different priorities. In general, they get drawn out when both sides feel that their priorities are more important than the other side's. I've already completely averted two with the phrases "This is really important to me, can you please just humor me and go along with it?" and "Ok, I can see this is probably more important to you than it is to me, so let's do [what you want to do]."



My best friend, Rob, says that his parents enjoyed 50 years of marriage without a single argument using this technique. Know when something is more important to your partner than it is to you and just back down before a single cross word gets hurled.



Gosh, so many thoughts on this. Here's another: I've loved both men and women. I don't think love knows gender boundaries. Don't believe me? Analyze your feelings towards your best friend, someone who you can share your most intimate feelings with. You might not want to sleep with him or kiss him, but it's still love, isn't it? The perfect romance isn't about gender; it's about a powerful friendship combined with sexual attraction. My best friend Rob and I are very intimate with each-other, even though there is no sexuality involved (we're both gay men, but there's a 20 year age gap and he's totally not my type). I have to say I love Rob, even if never ever ever want to sleep with him. I don't know if I love Patrick. But if he turns into another Rob, someone who I can share everything with, someone who I don't have to ever censor what I say around, then that will be love.

EDITED_BY: There is no 'e' in 'Lightning' (1090084163)


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

Delete

lll


k


Total posts: 182
Posted:what women want:

babies

shoes

to be better than the woman next to her

chocolate

anti-fat pills

men with a mute button or a pet that cant talk back





what men want:

women

big piles of logs and timber

a better toolkit than the man next to him

booze

big chairs

a stick re: poking, itching, twirling, more poking, leaning





i could be wrong wink hug rolleyes


Delete

ber seal


The Official London juggling ber spy. shh! dont tell any one
Location: the world (London)

Total posts: 419
Posted:Written by: nilid69

PS
And I reckon womens want a lot more of that one thing than most will let on.



I can agree with you on that one.

Now I like that one thing in my head.
And I like that one thing in my bed.

But I did have a girlfriend that wanted it more than me.
My god was it fun.

but as a I say. if you were on an island for a year.
and then got rescued, and was given a dry cracker to eat.
You would think that it was the best cracker in the world.
But if you got feed it 10 times a day for the next 6 months.
You would soon go of them.

I want more form my girl than bed action.
and thats not to say I dont want that at all.

Its just we need other things in our life as well.
some times at night all I want is to be huged. hug

ubbloco


When people says "plz" cause its shorter than "please" I say "no" cause its shorter than "yes"

Delete

Twirly


Twirly

Shoryuken!
Location: Hexham, Newcastle, England

Total posts: 233
Posted:Written by:
If anyone can enlighten me as to how the male mind works I would kindly appreciate it.

Also can you give me some tips as to finding men that want more out of a relationship.....



It would be hard to give you a total breakdown of the male mind, but I can answer any specific questions as truthfully as I can. Obviously all guys are different, some are going to be a lot different to what I describe, but I'll try my best to generalise everyone.

Tips for finding guys; where have you looked so far? Basically, don't bother looking for guys in pubs or clubs. Guys on the pull here are after sex, first and foremost. None of them will expect a fruitfull relationship to arrise from anything that happens after a night out.

Just a theory, but I reckon a lot of the guys who seem like they're only after sex are probably capable of good relationships, if only the circumstances had been better when you first met, ie they hadn't been drunk & on the pull.

What guys want: Personally, and with a lot of my mates, we've had to stop relationships because of this weird feeling that we're just not connecting well, that we're expected to keep conversation going better, that we aren't being interesting enough. It feels like you aren't making the auld lady happy, and so you feel uncomfortable and stop (I'm not talking sexually there btw). Using a lot of hindsight, and talking, it turned out that the girls weren't getting this feeling at all - they thought things were going great.

To me that pretty much suggests that guys need more reassurance than you might expect. A guy will never ask if his bum looks big in this, but you have to tell him it doesn't anyway.

Even I don't like the conclusion I came to there, so I'm guessing many people will disagree, but maybe it's true!


Delete

FunkFish


FunkFish

Watch out as ultimate Cute and Funkyness arives...
Location: Holland, Zaandam (next to Amst...

Total posts: 191
Posted:as a man ... u need 2 have gay friends.... i give my friends advise constantly about women... and i am selden wrong biggrin BRAG.....

but any way... maybe gay man understand women better... cause of them bein allmost women :P *stab self in the bag*
x


Push me, and then just hurt me, till i can get my satisfaction...

Delete

Pink...?
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

Pink...?

Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There, United Kingdom

Total posts: 6140
Posted:I am hopeless when it comes to knowing what men want. (apart from the obvious).

All i know is that most (not all) of my previous relationships the men didn't know what i wanted. But then i rarely knew what i wanted from it.

ubbangel


Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

Delete

ber seal


The Official London juggling ber spy. shh! dont tell any one
Location: the world (London)

Total posts: 419
Posted:I always liked the quite moments.

when you can just sit, lay, hug etc...

it's a good sign that you are both relaxed (unless just after arguing)
I don't need to talk all the time, it's good to talk.

but moments of stillness are great.
had many with my ex, and that was one of the things we loved about each other


When people says "plz" cause its shorter than "please" I say "no" cause its shorter than "yes"

Delete

kiteman


Flying high!
Location: At the beach.

Total posts: 245
Posted:All we want is an easy life, with no hastle or complications and no sudden mood changes for no apparent reason.

Well I do anyway.


If everything seems under control, your not going fast enough!

It's not the size of the wave, it's the length of the ride!

Delete

Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction, Aus...

Total posts: 13215
Posted:i'll probably figure out what men want when i figure out what i want. i never know what i want; and on the rare occasion when i do know what i want im usually too shy or too held back by some other factor to go out and get it.
im sure its confusing the hell out of my boyfriend; i can act so aloof at times i worry that i'm worrying him! i only hope that he realised my seeming indifference is just me and not anything to do with him.

i suppose i want fun and someone who enjoys my company as much as i enjoy theirs; someone who is committed and wont just turn cold suddenly (even though thats hypocritical cos im the queen of mood swings!) ....isnt that what guys want as well?


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

Delete

Konsti


Konsti

lovable smart-ass
Location: vineyards, Vienna, Austria

Total posts: 785
Posted:As rougie above me said, I think that people should figure out what the hell they want themselves first. That goes for both men and women. Once u are that far i also think that ppl should be honest and cut out this entire Mindgame bollocks. Also i think that it is impossible to say WHAT DO WOMEN/ MEN WANT. People are way too different and also it depends too much on mood, situation, previous experience, how much booze/whatever was consumed that day...blalblabla



all i know is that women are more confusing than most drugs...

But im still in the naive belief that if two ppl have some sort of feeling for each other they should be having a good time together and not focus on the problems that arise. Once u focus on problems too much its all gonna go down the drain.

im more of a happy, huggy, chilled guy and tend to have a thing for crazy girls that are independent. I find it hard when girls seem like they want to be entertained by me and just sit there not showing initiative (not getting to know new ppl, look bored and all that). Im more than glad to be the clown and make girls laugh as long as they make me laugh in return.....



juggle smile hug


"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer

Delete

Gelfling
BRONZE Member since Jul 2004

Gelfling

Watcher of 80s cartoons
Location: Chepstow & Bristol, United Kin...

Total posts: 665
Posted:When a guy sees a girl he fancies, he sees her and thinks "she is at her best."

When a girl sees a guy she fancies, she sees him and thinks "if he changes his hair, has a shave, stops picking his nose, puts on a suite, ditches his mate that farts one note too high the theme tune to neighbours, removes the..."


>What do you think about the state of the Earth?
>I'm optimistic.
>So why do you look so sad?
>I'm not sure that my optimism is justified.

Delete

Twirly


Twirly

Shoryuken!
Location: Hexham, Newcastle, England

Total posts: 233
Posted:Written by:
I find it hard when girls seem like they want to be entertained by me and just sit there not showing initiative (not getting to know new ppl, look bored and all that). Im more than glad to be the clown and make girls laugh as long as they make me laugh in return.....



Amen to that!


Seal, I love those moments now, but when I was younger they used to scare the [censored] out of me. If you're insecure, silcences can rip you appart.

I don't recommend smoking weed with a girl you like unless you're already very comfortable with each other. Booze is great, but weed makes things very odd I've found.


Delete

ber seal


The Official London juggling ber spy. shh! dont tell any one
Location: the world (London)

Total posts: 419
Posted:yeah.
I think that that goes with all situations though.

thats why I have stoped smoking. 4 weeks and counting. biggrin

and I now have given up on the booze for a bit.
all that cr#p I had in my head, cos I cound not think straight, cos of what I was doing. ubbloco
now I'm thinking straighter and clearer
so I know that the next girl will be luckyer. ubblove

shame about the last one. she was great. wink
but I will get over her in time.

And I hope to know what the next one wants


When people says "plz" cause its shorter than "please" I say "no" cause its shorter than "yes"

Delete

Jello


ambiguous
Location: Mpls, MN, USA

Total posts: 646
Posted:Written by: ber seal

I always liked the quite moments.





I completely agree with that, quite moments are my main goal in life with both friends and significant others.

As to men, I'm fairly certain that they're clueless. And being a guy I'll admit that, I'm dense as all get out when in a relationship. So when you get two dense guys together things generally don't last..

What we all need is open communication. If we could do that all would be good.


_________________________________
Fuzzy Dice.......................................

Delete

pengwino
BRONZE Member since Oct 2003

pengwino

suitable for vegetarians
Location: Leeds, UK

Total posts: 300
Posted:Written by: Medusa


The man's mind is a very mysterious place and who knows what their mind is thinking at any given time.



I just have to say I agree with this!


animals who are not penguins can only wish they were

Delete

polythene


veteran
Location: London/ Surrey

Total posts: 1359
Posted:Eh, everyone's different, I don't think it's possible to know exactly what people want, especially not right away, but I think finding out's part of the fun smile

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.

Delete

Medusa
BRONZE Member since Nov 2003

Medusa

veteran
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Per...

Total posts: 1433
Posted:Written by: Mageshroom

what women want:
babies
shoes
to be better than the woman next to her
chocolate
anti-fat pills
men with a mute button or a pet that cant talk back





Oh my...I think that must mean I am not a woman if this is what we are supposed to really want ubblol


Delete

Mele
SILVER Member since Oct 2003

Mele

A perth girl gone walkabout...
Location: Back home in Perth WA, Austral...

Total posts: 396
Posted:ditto

Babies? I don't want babies - altho will consider one if i marry someone who really wants one.
Shoes? I have them, and only wear one, the comfy ones.
Better than the woman next to me? Hey, want a fella next to me, not a woman!
Chocolate? Yuk! Altho i love the fillings they put in some of them smile
Anti-fat pills? The gym is a lot more satisfying & alot more eye candy.
A guy with a mute button? Give me a guy with a mind & will of his own, and own thoughts and feelings anyday rather than a piece of mindless flesh that just sits there and agrees with me, and his own free will to love me without being told he has to!!


I smile because i have no idea whats going on!! biggrin

Delete

Flynt
SILVER Member since May 2002

Flynt

Intrepid Penguin
Location: , Australia

Total posts: 5635
Posted:*sigh*

I dont like this thread, sorry, but I dont. I dont like that everyone gets to buy into a stereotype about men or women, and I'd love to dig into this as a serious discussion, alas it is in the silly section of Social.

So instead I'll just say this.

I agree with Lightning.

and:

If you want to know what a woman/man wants, start dating someone who is honest and knows their own mind and ASK them.

*shrug*


Currently on the right side up of the world.

Delete

Puk
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

Puk

Sweet talented nutter
Location: Brisbane Oz, Australia

Total posts: 2615
Posted:I thought the most important thing was to be best mates?.

that shrewd and knavish sprite

Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy

I am the merry wander of the night -puk

Delete

i8beefy2
GOLD Member since Mar 2003

i8beefy2

addict
Location: Ohio, USA

Total posts: 674
Posted:Everyone wants something different I spose, and coming out of a six month relationship I may be a little jaded here but...

How about someone who you dont have to try to be something with? Someone who will always be there to hold you no matter what? Someone who wants your happiness more than their own (Thats a tricky one Ive found out though... cant go forgetting yourself)? Someone who you can trust not to go making out with other guys hours after they tentatively break up with you (Hey, I said I might be jaded)?

I dont know about women. Hell I dont know about men. But I know what I want, and as has already been said, thats the first step. All that twin flame nonsense and such. How about this one:

Just someone who loves you as much as you love them?


Delete

CrazyHippyChick
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

errrrrr what?
Location: cloud 9, United Kingdom

Total posts: 198
Posted:hug

I'll come back as fire and burn all the liars and leave a blanket of ashes on the ground.
I could write the new bridget jones diary only mine would be more bizarre, funnier, dirtier more unbelievabe and bloody true!

Delete

i8beefy2
GOLD Member since Mar 2003

i8beefy2

addict
Location: Ohio, USA

Total posts: 674
Posted:Haha, figures its the crazy hippy that brings the love. Why cant more chicks be hippies darn it! biggrin

Delete

ado-p
GOLD Member since May 2004

ado-p

Pirate Ninja
Location: Galway/Ireland

Total posts: 3882
Posted:I think on some level everyone wants to be loved. Its fundamental to our existence. We all give and recieve love in our own way, which is whatever we are capable of at a given moment. So it naturally changes with time, age, experience.



One thing I have learned though.



If your a guy if helps if you know how to make a girl feel like a girl



If your a girl if helps if you know how to make a guy feel like a guy

EDITED_BY: ado-p (1090243007)


Love is the law.

Delete

NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Written by: Flynt

*sigh*

I dont like this thread, sorry, but I dont. I dont like that everyone gets to buy into a stereotype about men or women, and I'd love to dig into this as a serious discussion, alas it is in the silly section of Social.

So instead I'll just say this.

I agree with Lightning.

and:

If you want to know what a woman/man wants, start dating someone who is honest and knows their own mind and ASK them.

*shrug*



I agree with Flynt. biggrin

I don't want any woman that fits perfectly into a stereotype. And I certainly don't want a woman that judges me as a stereotypical man before looking to see who I really am.

But I think I'm in the minority in this. Sadly.

I think that most men DO think they want stereotypical woman and most women DO think they want a stereotypical man. And a good portion of the world is relatively content with their selection.

I certainly wouldn't be happy with anyone who didn't know the 'real' me. I'm different. I don't think I want the particular things that most men want.

I think communication is the key to all of my relationships. I'm surprised how many folks are unable or unwilling to do this in relationships. But that's a story for another post. smile


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

Delete

Page: 12

Similar Topics

Using the keywords [men know women want] we found the following similar topics.
1. Forums > Do men know what women want from them? [44 replies]
2. Forums > women and sex [168 replies]
3. Learn > POI > Advanced Butterflies > pacman twist *help/resource let me know what this thing is called ...
4. Forums > Men that ogleits totally unfair. [83 replies]
5. Learn > Fire Training > Fire training and safety > Know your fuel - MSDS *help/resource

     Show more..