Forums > Social Chat > What is a worst situation?- for confidence

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Malcolm
Malcolm

HOP admin
Location: HOP
Member Since: 18th Nov 2003
Total posts: 995
Posted:Just been watching a TV program called "CSI" which is quite interesting investigative type program. And it got us thinking...

What is worst situation to be in...

a) You telling yourself you can not achieve something great.
b) Close friend or others telling you that you can not achieve something great.


"May your balls always burn"

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Paradic Arsonist
member
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 30th Apr 2002
Total posts: 28
Posted:a) you telling yourself you cant achieve something great, because if your friends tell you, it urges you to push harder and show them that you can.

[ 30 May 2002, 21:24: Message edited by: Paradic Arsonist ]


i am quite religious.. there is only one god, and that god.. is ME! :)

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SmallBoy - x
SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London
Member Since: 29th May 2002
Total posts: 2737
Posted:2 Tru
Eeeezy 1 really!!


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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dromepixie
dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida
Member Since: 20th May 2002
Total posts: 1463
Posted:I think yes, a definately....

When u dont think of ur self as being able to do things u tend to sit on ur ass and wait for opportunities to come... When they are usually passing through right under ur nose.... U just dont realize it cause ppl tend to think they arent capable of some things so they ignore their talents...

Dunno if I made sense but cool!
he he to tired...

Love to all, Drome


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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Cassandra
Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Member Since: 8th Jun 2001
Total posts: 4224
Posted:I think it depends greatly on your personnality ... I you lack major self confidence and rely on your friends, then sometimes you'd be more hurt and give up more easily if you trust their "objective" point of view... whereas your "giving up" phase being part of a cycle, you might be more able to wait and then kick your own ass...

I think friends should be there to encourage you and give you positive energy, but I personnaly count on my close friends , the few I really trust, to tell me when I am out of my mind too...

hmm... dunno, I think both are terrible indeed !!!

and also ..; what kind of "great thing" do you have in mind ?
and what is really important ? achieving or the process of achieving something ???

you could always start something knowing that you'll never reach the end, but still enjoying the path that you're taking ...

just my two (confused) cents (of Euro of course )

shine on
cassandra


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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dromepixie
dromepixie

veteran
Location: Florida
Member Since: 20th May 2002
Total posts: 1463
Posted:Cassandra,

U thought hard about that one and I agree with u pretty much wholeheartedly....

Its good to have friend or a few to tell you when ur ideas are a bit more than whimsical.
I think, in the end its up to each and every indivividual what they do to themselves and how strong they keep themselves...

Love to all, Drome...


JUGGLEwithyourmind!

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Flynt
Flynt

Intrepid Penguin

Member Since: 12th May 2002
Total posts: 5635
Posted:i'd say having ppl tell you you cant do something, inspires our gutsy nature.... I got told i wouldnt finish highschool due to being ill, so i thought screw this, i dont care what they think....... and i aced my class......
`

being obstinate is fun anyway `


Currently on the right side up of the world.

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Bram....
member
Location: the arms of the Ganja Goddess
Member Since: 17th May 2002
Total posts: 1551
Posted:Niether actually, b/c if you tell yourself u can't do it you will do it, and if your friends tell u you can't do it u tell tehm to shut up and do it neway

You. Its whats for dinner!

As time passes, you realise all the mistakes you amde and the ones you wish you never did make.

The wave crashing on the beach

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ufo8mycat
journeyman
Location: london
Member Since: 24th Dec 2001
Total posts: 60
Posted:No matter how much support you have from your friends without a shred of self-belief you'll never do anything that scares you.

Doing nothing scary would be like living in a vacuum cleaner bag.

hmm

As always,
ax


it's not that i mean to set things on fire...

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Tre
member
Location: London, UK
Member Since: 27th Apr 2002
Total posts: 12
Posted:maybe i'm just being controverstial, but my friends are people i respect and admire greatly; if they were the ones telling me i wasn't good at something, i would hope that they were being truthful about it, rather than spiteful... causing you to somehow doubt yourself - maybe not to the point of giving up, but sometimes its difficult to be objective when its yourself.

anyway if they're true friends you can always trust them to put a positive spin on stuff... maybe you can't do one thing but you're FANTASTIC at another...? at the end of the day, as most people here have poited out, not being able to achieve something at the moment doesn't necessarily mean you can't do something about that - just don't run before you can walk


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SmallBoy - x
SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London
Member Since: 29th May 2002
Total posts: 2737
Posted:Me, I'm an arrogant bastard and I always believe I can do everything (till I find I can't) so to me it's all a bit hypothetical.
When my m8s tell me I can't do something it gives me a kick up the ass and I go for it to prove I can. I know what u all mean tho, back in the day when I was a wee nipper I used to rely on my friends to tell me how life was & trusted them implicitely. Now I've been let down by everyone on more than one occasion, I tend to think "fu*k u all and I'll live my life how I fuc*ing feel like". At the end of the day nobody knows what u can achieve except u, and sometimes not even u know what can be achieved until u try.
Try everything - (except Heroin & gay sex.)
(Neither of them are worth the pain - hahahaha.)


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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Tre
member
Location: London, UK
Member Since: 27th Apr 2002
Total posts: 12
Posted:yeah... relying on people and taking good advice are two very different things - at the end of the day theres a lot of people who know a lot of stuff out there... why not learn from other peoples mistakes?
its true that no-one knows what can happen in the future, but a wise man once told me you can count your true friends on one hand... these are the people you learn from and grow with

oops i think that made no sense


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SmallBoy - x
SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London
Member Since: 29th May 2002
Total posts: 2737
Posted:No, I understand.
The one tru friend you can count on is your right hand. I count on him completely and he makes me grow. Makes perfect sense to me. - hahaha


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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Cassandra
Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Member Since: 8th Jun 2001
Total posts: 4224
Posted:small boy, there are some gays around here and even if tehre were none, I honestly find your comment slightly rude. I think it'd be nice of you to respect everyone's taste. Please don't be upset at my comment I don't mean to attack you personnaly, just telling you how I feel about your comment.

shine on
cassandra


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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SmallBoy - x
SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London
Member Since: 29th May 2002
Total posts: 2737
Posted:None taken......
I hold nothing against anyone, I have several gay friends and even if I didn't I wouldn't knock it.
Just saying my ass is virgin and it would hurt.
(So my ex tells me anyway.....got to take her word for it )


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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SmallBoy - x
SmallBoy - x

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: London
Member Since: 29th May 2002
Total posts: 2737
Posted:P.S. - UR trying to not offend everyone too much.
Besides how did you know I wasn't talking from experience - lol.


Small Lardy Person In Disguise

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Pele
Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA
Member Since: 15th Dec 2000
Total posts: 6193
Posted:Well, really, one plays into the other. I have a completely self-sabotaging attitude because it is what I was given. I was told by loved ones that I was fat, ugly and stupid and that stuck with me. So, in my case option 2 eventually became option 1 and now my friends are trying really hard to kick it out of me. I think this is the case with most people.
Overall I think that if you have self-confidence then no matter what anyone says, it will not have a profound effect on what decisions you make for your life. However, if you have low self-confidence then you will beat yourself up, thus making it easier for others to put you down.

They are not mutually exclusive in my eyes, or experiences. If I were forced to choose one though, option one is the worst though. Because even in the silence there is that little voice that says "You suck" in the back of your head that just nags. At least when it comes from other people you can (try to) walk away and not be around it.


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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