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Forums > Social Chat > Dating and age differences

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Not sure if this belongs here or Discussion. Feel free to move as needed.

So I'm starting to date someone who is 20. I'm 26, almost 27. I don't really see a problem except for the fact that he's not legal drinking age.

But at some point, I'm wondering if a maturity difference is going to pop up or not.

Anyone here have experiences with this sort of age difference? What do you think is a "significant" age difference? Anyone hear of the "1/2 your age + seven" rule?


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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pounce
SILVER Member since Jan 2003

pounce

All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all a...

Total posts: 9831
Posted:yay for lightning!!!

I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**

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andythepoi


andythepoi

addict
Location: manchester, uk

Total posts: 508
Posted:i'm 37 n currently seeing a 23 year old gal n her girlfriend who's 25. don't mean dating a gal n seeing her friend behind her back, meant seeing a couple of lass who are lovers. age hasn't been a problem at all so far, and um....if it DID who'd give a monkeys!!! hehehe. dont like to brag but ya did ask hehehe

It's smashing to be back x

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andythepoi


andythepoi

addict
Location: manchester, uk

Total posts: 508
Posted:i'm dating a pair of gals (who are girlfriends) and both are ten years younger than me...we have great fun n so fsar age hasnt been any kind of problem...and i dont think any of us would give a monkeys if it became one!

It's smashing to be back x

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas

Total posts: 3899
Posted:so... you aren't bragging, but you felt the need to post that twice? huh... confused

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:Yeah!
I mean, I'm dating a young, beautiful, Norwegian, ex-cheerleading professional dancer and do you hear me bragging about it? No! Because I'm a gentleman, and gentlemen do not brag, except when brandy and cigars are involved.


Did I mention she was blonde?


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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Yes, Dom, but you're blonde, too. biggrin

-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Written by: Dm

Yeah!
I mean, I'm dating a young, beautiful, Norwegian, ex-cheerleading professional dancer and do you hear me bragging about it? No! Because I'm a gentleman, and gentlemen do not brag, except when brandy and cigars are involved.

Did I mention she was blonde?



Oh, and she's uberhot and plesant and sweet and spins poi and is even pretty smart. And did I mention uberhot? Oh yeah... I did.

You're coming along nicely Dom. We're all proud. hug


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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Big Andy
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

member
Location: Dallas, Tx

Total posts: 186
Posted:The problems that usually arise from big age gaps may not always be obvious, and can develop over time and bite you on the arse later. However, they can be avoided.

Of course the big ones have to do with maturity and codependancy issues with the younger of the 2.


As long as both parties are maintaining good mental health and appropriate emotional development, then who cares?



I'm speaking from experience and the issues my girlfriend and I have had to deal with since we got together. We're not that far apart, but she was rather young when we got together.


"We can't stop here! This is bat country!"

"Welcome to the U-S-A,
We'll treat you right, unless you're black or gay, or Cherokeeeeee!!"

-Brian Griffin from "Family Guy" (the dog)

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WryTerra


WryTerra

The reason we say "European"
Location: Cheltenham

Total posts: 912
Posted:I've not really been on this thread, not having been dating, but I am again and it's weird...

Biggest age difference I ever did was 8 year difference, and it didn't work. But not because of age difference. I won't go into it.

Then I dated someone precisely my own age. Didn't work.

Now I'm doing 8 years again and she's woooonderful. It's about compatibility, not age, for myself.


"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds

"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend

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andythepoi


andythepoi

addict
Location: manchester, uk

Total posts: 508
Posted:thats REALLY really strange! i DIDJNT post that twice....something is seriously amis...hmmm..........

It's smashing to be back x

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starrgazer


stranger
Location: Chicago

Total posts: 13
Posted:I am 22. My bf is going on 26..so..not a big gap there..However, when we first got together, i was 17, he was 21. So it seemed like a big deal then to everyone. It was "robbing the cradle", and "thats disgusting, find someone your own age"...we never listened to any of it..and here we are today.

so there...


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FunkFish


FunkFish

Watch out as ultimate Cute and Funkyness arives...
Location: Holland, Zaandam (next to Amst...

Total posts: 191
Posted:i am dating a guy of 30 yr.... we never run into trouble

Push me, and then just hurt me, till i can get my satisfaction...

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WryTerra


WryTerra

The reason we say "European"
Location: Cheltenham

Total posts: 912
Posted:starrgazer, good to hear. Still, that is only half the age difference so i imagine half the grief from friends wink

Still, I'm not complaining in the slightest. ubblove Not one bit.


"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds

"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend

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Aleks


Aleks

journeyman
Location: West Midlands, UK

Total posts: 64
Posted:My fiance is 26, 27 this year and I'm 20 (as of April) when we started dating I was 17 and below legal drinking age fot the UK it was rather amusing when i filled out a questionaire and they asked how many adults there were (over 18) and how many children........ OOOOOOOoooooooooooo!

Look at me twirl my pretty rainbow poi in my rainbowhat with my rainbow earings and my rainbow top etc.....

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WryTerra


WryTerra

The reason we say "European"
Location: Cheltenham

Total posts: 912
Posted:LOL We haven't encountered THAT one yet, but we have had much grief. Such as "You realise I've known you longer than she's been alive?", "Remember when we were at school there was always that girl that didn't talk to anyone and was dating some guy in his 20s... YOU'RE that guy!" and the like. I don't let it bother me. She's great. smile

Jealousy's a horrible thing, I guess. wink


"We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty" - Mal Reynolds

"I can't tell the difference between an electron and a cat" - Brother of a friend

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Twirly


Twirly

Shoryuken!
Location: Hexham, Newcastle, England

Total posts: 233
Posted:I'm 18, and for me it would be unacceptable to be with anyone younger than 16 I think. I recently got a bit of stick for telling a 15yr old she was hot, but seeing as everyone had been telling me not to bother cos she looked too old for me, and too hot for me, meant they couldnt really say much.

Once you're older than about 17/18 pretty much anything goes though Im saying.


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Dr Greenthumb
BRONZE Member since Jun 2004

Roll up!, The Doctors in the house!
Location: Fife

Total posts: 243
Posted:im 21 n seeing a girl of 17 what would you ay about that then acceptable?

i think so but then i could be biased


If we all ate one person then i'd be full.

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Dr Greenthumb
BRONZE Member since Jun 2004

Roll up!, The Doctors in the house!
Location: Fife

Total posts: 243
Posted:biggest age gap though was about 16/17 years (she was older of course) and damn that was a mad experiance!

If we all ate one person then i'd be full.

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Twirly


Twirly

Shoryuken!
Location: Hexham, Newcastle, England

Total posts: 233
Posted:No worrys Greenthumb, you are in the clear. 23 would be a bit old however, so make sure she ages as quickly as you.

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Faberg
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

veteran
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Total posts: 1459
Posted:i wouldn't exactly say "dating", but i've been kinda seeing this guy who's 10 years younger than me for the past few months. it's not really "dating" as we don't really make plans to meet again (it just tends to happen) and we don't really go out on "dates".

it's a really cool set-up though. he'll usually call and see if i'm free, and if i am he'll come over to mine for the evening. i'll cook come food, he'll bring some beers/spliffs. he's teaching me to juggle and i'm teaching him poi. and afterwards we have amazing sex biggrin

it's not a real relationship though, so we don't date like a conventional couple. i'm not looking for a boyfriend, so i don't feel the need to display him in public or anything. though one or two of my mates who know about us call us Ashton & Demi ubblol, but then there's also been the odd cradle-snatcher remark.

he's 24, he knows what he's doing. we're both getting what we want out of it and hurting no-one in the process, so like i said, it's a perfect set-up! biggrin


My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely smile

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas

Total posts: 3899
Posted:I wanna be your boy-toy... but I'm too old - frown

-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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poi_boy
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

stranger
Location: dunstable, uk

Total posts: 42
Posted:any one seen the film, "eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind"? absoultly genius, made me cry, basicly even if there is [censored] later on wouldnt you want to expeience all the quality stuff in order to end up in that place?? i've had relationships that have gone tits up but i wouldnt change what id done or the other person had...just treasure those experiences!

easy ! ;p every days a festival!

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Faberg
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

veteran
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Total posts: 1459
Posted:ubblol

ok, you can be my sugar-daddy wink


My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely smile

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Mags The Jedi
GOLD Member since May 2004

Mags The Jedi

Fool
Location: Cornwall, UK

Total posts: 2020
Posted:That's kinda what i'm having to learn at the moment. It sucks ass though. biggrin Eternal Sunshine is an amazing film.

As long as the people involved in a relationship are of legal age, it doesn't matter to me how old they are. Yeah, sure, a 16 year old going out with a 90 year old may seem a bit odd, but as long as they're both happy, who cares?


"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

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Gayle......!
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol !!!!!!

Total posts: 2444
Posted:I started going out with a guy when i was 16 and he was 25. 9 years - if you can't be arsed to work it out.

At first i was a groupie and he was a guitarist and that infactuation went on for about 2 years.
I spent the next two years searching for the opportunity to break up with him.
I found him totally immature, unable to fend for himself and just generally a real turn off.
The biggest problem i found was talking with his friends - they'd talk about things that happened in their childhood which was before i was born and leaving me incapable or joining in.

Childrens telly is a real sticking point. If you both watched different childrens telly it's the death of a relationship.

Remebering different things was really difficult - i felt that i needed to be older to join in and eventually that got to me.

I suppose he found vice versa so i'd look out when any reminiscing (?) takes place as it can be very uncomfortable. The best thing is to, when in a group, have all people of different ages instead of all one age and one person on their own feeling left out. This should solve any problems.


Gayle.....!

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas

Total posts: 3899
Posted:Written by: BristolPoi

Childrens telly is a real sticking point. If you both watched different childrens telly it's the death of a relationship.




ubblol ubblol ubblol

well, I'm not sure that is true, but it sure is funny!

my girlfriend is 5 years younger than me and grew up behind the iron curtain - you wanna talk about different children's TV shows!


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas

Total posts: 3899
Posted:Written by: Faberg


ubblol

ok, you can be my sugar-daddy wink





but we are the same age... don"t I have to be older to be a sugar daddy? I mean, I could see being vixen's sugar daddy and maybe even pounce's, but it would be kind of wierd for you to refer to me as "daddy" in any context wouldn't it?



I guess I don't qualify for any special interest relations with faberge... frown



just the standard kind (unless we've got some sorta kink in common, but we can discuss than with PMs if she really wants to...)


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Well, Patrick and I are at the stage where he repeatedly makes fun of my age. Especially when the conversation turns to when this-or-that song game out or that I remember when the Mac Classic came out or the fact that when I graduated HS in 1996 he was eleven.

And I just tell him to "shut up, sonny, before I beat you with my cane." ubblol He also gets called "punk kid" a lot.

And Van, you can be my sugar daddy any day you want! ubblove wink tongue


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas

Total posts: 3899
Posted:Written by: There is no "e" in "Lightning"


Well, Patrick and I are at the stage where he repeatedly makes fun of my age. Especially when the conversation turns to when this-or-that song game out or that I remember when the Mac Classic came out or the fact that when I graduated HS in 1996 he was eleven.



And I just tell him to "shut up, sonny, before I beat you with my cane." ubblol He also gets called "punk kid" a lot.



And Van, you can be my sugar daddy any day you want! ubblove wink tongue





now let's see, when I graduated high school in 1987, you must have been 11. huh...



I guess that qualifies me as old enough to be your sugar daddy. problem is, soon you are going to be earning a lot more money than me...



how pathetic would it be to be a sugar daddy for someone who makes more money than you?!?



I suspect you and I are going to have to go the kink route too...


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:Written by:
now let's see, when I graduated high school in 1987, you must have been 11. huh...



9, almost 10, actually.

But I really don't want you for your money, or your brain. I just want you for your body. ubblol wink


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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