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Forums > Social Discussion > 5 mths pregnant and no where to go

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Flame
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

Flame

addict
Location: VIC, MELB

Total posts: 435
Posted:hey fellow poiers,

Havnt posted for awhile but heres the crappy situation i find myself in. I have recently left my home because the owners could no longer afford and so they had to sell it.

My mother has decided a pregnant girl who is hormonal is more trouble than her junked up son who is almost 30 and about to go to back to jail. So I have been unwelcomed there.

My father has just been married for the second time and has a spare house and wont be selling it for atlest another 6mths but has not offered for me to stay there while i get on my feet. And I am lucky to hear from him once every two weeks.

The father and the love of my life until the pregnancy began was invited up to QLD for a week for a friends birthday and know he has decided to stay up there and work and maybe come back.

My sister has been wonderful and has offered me a place to live but as we all know the friendships grow thin when you live with someone and I have already lost quite a few people i loved I do not want to lose any more over petty arguments.

I am not asking for anyones help but am trying to come to grips with the whole concept of the situation i find myself in and if anyone had any thoughts on the topic.

I will soon find a flat mate and go and live in a caravan park. The most i can say is this is not how i pictured it in my innocent days.


Flame
Almost burnt out but still going! weavesmiley


*In the car while Pink is playing on the radio*
Tristan aged 4 : "Mum is this Pink?"
Flame:"Yes mate this is Pink?"
Tristan:"Are you going to Pink?"
Flame:"Yes i am"
Tristan:"Cool well I'm going to BLUE" smile

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Gnor
BRONZE Member since Mar 2003

Gnor

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Perth

Total posts: 5814
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

hug hug


Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

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bender
GOLD Member since Nov 2001

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Total posts: 6979
Posted:oh dear this sounds dire - is there something melbourne based HomeOfPoiers can do?!

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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Valura
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

Valura

Mumma Hen
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 6391
Posted:pm me if you need to talk and I can help you find somewhere to stay like emergency accomadation...
peace


TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

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Eera
BRONZE Member since May 2003

old hand
Location: In a test pit, Mackay

Total posts: 1107
Posted:The darkest bit is just before dawn.

I truely wish there was something practical I could do for you. I don't want to patronise you with "chin up, everything will be fine" soundbites, but from 16000 miles away all I can say is that you've tapped into a source of great support here, we'll be here to listen every step of the way if you wish it.


There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.

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Kit


veteran
Location: middle of Troon

Total posts: 1269
Posted:yeah eera hit the nail there... hug

random murbles

BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh

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SpitFire
GOLD Member since Dec 2002

Mand's Girl....and The Not So Shy One
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada

Total posts: 2723
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug

Hang in there, and don't hesitate to call on the HoP'sters for a bit of moral support.

Bright Blessings to you.


Solitude sometimes speaks to you, and you should listen.

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Flame
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

Flame

addict
Location: VIC, MELB

Total posts: 435
Posted:Thank you all for your lovely words. It is unbelieveable that this has happened and i would never have decided to keep the baby if i knew i was going to be abbandoned halfway through.

Eera you ar spot on and I really must stay positive cos i guess you never know when the winds of change are just around the corner.
Pregnancy has been more lonely than i ever thought it would be. I appreciate evryones support and its overwhelming that people who havnt even see me or really know me can be so compassionate, it amazes me that we have as many problems in the world as we do.

I will let you all know how im going and i get to find out if its a boy or a girl on monday so thats a real positive for me at the moment. I dont always get access to the net so please dont anybody worry if no one hears from me for awhile.

Thankyou all once again for even just listening to my conundrum.

Flame
Almost burnt out but still going weavesmiley


*In the car while Pink is playing on the radio*
Tristan aged 4 : "Mum is this Pink?"
Flame:"Yes mate this is Pink?"
Tristan:"Are you going to Pink?"
Flame:"Yes i am"
Tristan:"Cool well I'm going to BLUE" smile

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Puk
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

Puk

Sweet talented nutter
Location: Brisbane Oz

Total posts: 2615
Posted:Im so sorry to hear that DROPBEAR HUGS.
Life is challenging ?


that shrewd and knavish sprite

Called Robin Good Fellow ; are you not he that is frighten of the maidens of the villagery - fairy

I am the merry wander of the night -puk

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Gidg
BRONZE Member since Apr 2003

Gidg

Super Gidg!!!!
Location: Portland Oregon USA

Total posts: 8506
Posted:hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is NOT.
Proud member of the HoP DPS.
Sanity is a highly overrated state of mind.
I'm normal ... it's everyone else that's crazy.

Gidg

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Pink...?
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

Pink...?

Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There

Total posts: 6140
Posted:hug hug

Like Eera mentioned keep positive, if not for your own sake, for your baby. Things can, and will change, if you remain positive. You are creating new life, and that is something really special.

ubblove


Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

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telic


I don't want a title.


Total posts: 940
Posted:hug Eera did get it dead on. We can listen and care.. and that, we will do, and we'll be here for you when you need to talk about it. grouphug

E pluribus unum, baby.

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Spanner
BRONZE Member since Feb 2003

Spanner

remembers when it was all fields round here
Location: in the works... somewhere...

Total posts: 2790
Posted:Hi Flame,

So sorry to hear about how life is going for you at the moment. frown

Most of what you said rang bells with me, to say the least, so I thought you may find my thoughts helpful.

Although your mother, father or sister could accommodate you temporarily, you are due to give birth in 4 month's time. The bigger you grow, the less likely you will feel like home-hunting, securing accomodation and arranging to move in all over again.

I only know what you have told us about your mother and father. It seems harsh, though it may be that they are unwilling to house you because you and your child need a more permanant home. And having a flatmate can work, especially if you wouldn't be able to pay the rent without someone else, but you must consider whether your lifestyles will be compatible domestically once your child is born. It's also worth finding out what you may be entitled to in housing or finance as your situation changes.

It must be hard coming to terms with how the father is behaving and handling pregnancy at the same time. Despite whether he's having difficulty coming to terms with this, if he's absent while you need him, and you don't know when, if at all, he's coming back, make your own plans and don't wait around. That said, you should prepare yourself for the eventuality of his return and what your reaction will be if he tells you he wants to be an active father.

I know you say you wouldn't have decided to keep the baby if you'd known you were going to be abandoned. You can do this on your own if needs be and when your child is born, you will be so glad you did, even if you don't feel so at first.

It seems so overwhelming right now but you must be honest with yourself and others about what you want and what you know is best for you and your child.

Take care and keep us posted if you need to bend someone's ear.

Spanner xxx


"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"

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GottaLoveIt


GottaLoveIt

Sponge
Location: Stevenage

Total posts: 883
Posted:Like Eera and spanner say, I'm sure our ears are very bendy

hug hug hug

Take care x


Monkeys monkeys and bananas

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griffin


griffin

feminine tiddly pom
Location: cambs england

Total posts: 505
Posted:just warmth flows from HoP to you and babes

in state of metamorphosis

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gita
SILVER Member since Oct 2003

gita

.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
Location: brizvegas

Total posts: 3776
Posted:hug hug

grouphug

keep smiling, beautiful! as everyone's said, it will be tough, but on the other side of the tough bits - you will have a gorgeous little baby to hold on to. he/she will love you unconditionally and become your world.

good luck hug


do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

smile! grin it confuses people!

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Flame
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

Flame

addict
Location: VIC, MELB

Total posts: 435
Posted:this is so hard and so unfair I had to go to hospitl yesterday cos i was having cramping, but everything is fine and bubs and i are doing well know it was just an infection. But I get out of hospital go to use my atm card and the bastard father had taken my last 100 dollars he then tells me that it was his money too??????????? I dont understand how people can be so callous it of course was not his money at all in fact he owes me half of the bills at our last place 250 dollars. I am so upset i have been crying my eyes out every night and now he does this to me. I had been doing really well and starting to get over him and come to terms with him not coming back and then he does this to me. Its just not right, how can someone be so callous????? I should of known he was going to do this he was never really compassionate to other people only when it suited him or didnt involve him. I am so sick of crying I had to borrow money from my sister and i have no idea of how i can pay her back. He has just set me back even more. I really hate him right now and am really close to saying you will have to fight me for custody to see ur son. And I got some good news its a BOY!!! but he reuined that for me I am so sad frown I will get past this but god hurts right now. REALLY HURTS frown frown : ubbcrying
( ubbcrying ubbcrying


*In the car while Pink is playing on the radio*
Tristan aged 4 : "Mum is this Pink?"
Flame:"Yes mate this is Pink?"
Tristan:"Are you going to Pink?"
Flame:"Yes i am"
Tristan:"Cool well I'm going to BLUE" smile

Delete

polythene


veteran
Location: London/ Surrey

Total posts: 1359
Posted:all I can say is hug
that and new bank account, your name only.


The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.

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Spanner
BRONZE Member since Feb 2003

Spanner

remembers when it was all fields round here
Location: in the works... somewhere...

Total posts: 2790
Posted:ditto

Later on, I felt bad about what I said earlier on excluding the father, though having heard this, it's obvious he can't be trusted.

You're understandably very upset right now: if you're angry too, try to use that anger as an energy to make sure he'll find it difficult to pull any tricks like this in the future. If there's any other business that you and the father still manage jointly, please, seriously consider taking your name out of it, if possible, and doing things in your name only.

Amid all this, it's plain to see you're excited to discover your baby will be a boy. Congratulations! Please, don't ever think that you're letting him down. None of this is your fault. You're doing your best to see this through, both emotionally and practically, and no-one can ask any more of you than that.

Thinking of you,

Spanner hug


"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"

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Mags The Jedi
GOLD Member since May 2004

Mags The Jedi

Fool
Location: Cornwall, UK

Total posts: 2020
Posted:You are being beamed love direct from Cornwall. hug

"I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. We paid the cover charge of life, we were born."

Bill Hicks, February 1988

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Flame
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

Flame

addict
Location: VIC, MELB

Total posts: 435
Posted:Hello HOP ers
Thank you all for your thoughts and support its been wonderful.
I had moved into my little unit but found it was little too much being that alone freaked out abit and so decided to move up with my sister for awhile. She has been fantastic.
I now have absolutly no contact with the father his mother my mother and all the people who were my support groups its become more lonlier than ever, but i have dropped into a good little routine here.
I get to play with my two year old nephew all day we go swimming together every day I am soo trying to see some postives.
Its so much harder when your the one thats been left rather than you being the left them coupled with pregnancy hormones. I am getting through but I would never wish this snese of loss on anyone. Its so conflicting I hate him so much but i love him so much its just so difficult to let go of somone who is just going to walk back in to my life three mths later.
Oh well I guess you deal with it. Take care all I shall endeavour to write again soon.
Bubs and I are well otherwise and have thought about the name Owen whats everyones thoughts???

Flames weavesmiley


*In the car while Pink is playing on the radio*
Tristan aged 4 : "Mum is this Pink?"
Flame:"Yes mate this is Pink?"
Tristan:"Are you going to Pink?"
Flame:"Yes i am"
Tristan:"Cool well I'm going to BLUE" smile

Delete

Flame
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

Flame

addict
Location: VIC, MELB

Total posts: 435
Posted:P.S I took back my hundred dollars the other day!!!! I took him off all my acocunts but he never took me off his so I could of really shafted him taken his whole pay but instead I took what was owed was soo releaved to have some luck go my way smile
Flames weavesmiley


*In the car while Pink is playing on the radio*
Tristan aged 4 : "Mum is this Pink?"
Flame:"Yes mate this is Pink?"
Tristan:"Are you going to Pink?"
Flame:"Yes i am"
Tristan:"Cool well I'm going to BLUE" smile

Delete

Eera
BRONZE Member since May 2003

old hand
Location: In a test pit, Mackay

Total posts: 1107
Posted:Owen is a wonderful name, though I'm a bit biased as one of my best mates is an Owen. It abbreviates to O brilliantly and makes me feel all warm thinking about it. Mungo and Wellington are quite good too, but it's your child.

Glad to hear things are improving for you.

Much love XXX


There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.

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Kidda


member
Location: Birmingham

Total posts: 60
Posted:hug

all the best for the future sunshine smile


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fee fairy


fee fairy

newbie
Location: Nr London, UK

Total posts: 34
Posted:i hope things start to look up soon

What am i talking about, they will! you have a beautiful son on the way!

I don't know much about this (being single and childless) but i do know that your son will bring you so much joy that the father and his tricks won't make any difference to you anymore (my best friend's been through the same thing). Use the anmger you feel at the moment wisely, channel the energy into positive things.

I hope it all goes well for you

Here's more hugs from the UK

{{{HUGS}}}
hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug


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Flame
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

Flame

addict
Location: VIC, MELB

Total posts: 435
Posted:Hello everyone,
Its been a long time since ive wrote but i had to say Thank you all over again to the lovely people on here tha gave me such wonderful support. I've had my son and I named him Tristan Michael Luke. He is now 3 mths old and adorable as ever. I never thought it possible to love someone as much as i love him. I am no longer lonely and I am a proud single mum who lives with her son and manages all by herself. I never thought i would see the day of being able to live alone let alone raising a son, maintaining a household and studying for a degree. As for the father he was at the birth but has not had alot to do with Tristan, i honestly dont know why because he always professes how much he loves him but never spends more than two hours once a fortnight. Oh well i believe its his loss, he is missing something so beautiful. I just wanted to say thanks for all the support and I hope i can repay all the love shown me in my time of crisis. It might sound extreme but your replies to my msgs really helped me when i thought i had no one. Anyways hope everyone had a great chrsitmas and an awesome new year and happy poiing to all smile

Blessed Be and Sincere Regards
Flame and new bubba Tristan


*In the car while Pink is playing on the radio*
Tristan aged 4 : "Mum is this Pink?"
Flame:"Yes mate this is Pink?"
Tristan:"Are you going to Pink?"
Flame:"Yes i am"
Tristan:"Cool well I'm going to BLUE" smile

Delete

gita
SILVER Member since Oct 2003

gita

.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
Location: brizvegas

Total posts: 3776
Posted:congratulations!! a lil boy!! bounce

do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

smile! grin it confuses people!

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_Clare_
BRONZE Member since Oct 2002

_Clare_

Still wiggling
Location: Belfast

Total posts: 5967
Posted:Good luck and best wishes hug

Getting to the other side smile

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Spanner
BRONZE Member since Feb 2003

Spanner

remembers when it was all fields round here
Location: in the works... somewhere...

Total posts: 2790
Posted:clap

Congratulations!

hug


"I thought you are man, but
you are nice woman.

yay,

:R"

Delete

UCOF
SILVER Member since Apr 2002

UCOF

Carpal \'Tunnel


Total posts: 15414
Posted:biggrin

Im feeling all warm and fuzzy inside now.

You sounded so stressed and troubled in original post, but im glad to see its all come up smelling of roses.

hug2


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Page: 12

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