Forums > Social Discussion > Death

Posted: 3rd Jun 2007
Maybe because you can put yourself in the older persons skin, but remembering and putting yourself into a babies skin is harder.

Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

Posted: 3rd Jun 2007
you have chosen a difficult profession, Doc. I'm glad there are people like you, who can do so.

I can't answer your question.

But to me a child dying is more tragic than an adult dying.

Because I aim to live my life (more and more) in a way to be ready when my name comes up on the list. I can only suggest that to anyone else.

A child would have all ahead.

Maybe one reason is, that an adult is more attached to (his) life, than a child. Maybe because the void created by his death is deeper? But as said: I can't answer your question.

the best smiles are the ones you lead to

Posted: 4th Jun 2007
Lightning, thanks for the thread.

I identify with “I have looked Him in the eyes, and He is kind and gentle.” Me mum died today, and that’s how she looked. Kind, gentle, peaceful, beautiful and at rest. I’m sure she is in heaven, because that’s where she wanted to go.

I’m not a spiritual person, but mum had the gift. Today when she died I was in a training course, but I felt her presence. I had this amazing feeling of clarity and purpose. It was like mum was sending me a ray of sunshine from where ever she was.

If we as members of the human race practice meditation, we can transcend our fear, despair, and forgetfulness. Meditation is not an escape. It is the courage to look at reality with mindfulness and concentration. Thich Nhat Hanh

Posted: 4th Jun 2007

This is a post by tom, all spelling is deleberate
-><- Kallisti

Posted: 4th Jun 2007

the best smiles are the ones you lead to

Posted: 4th Jun 2007
I watched an old man die in my ealry 20's.. he'd riden up the top of a hill as I'm sure he'd done every da of his life before, just that day he didn't make it to the top.

I'd been performing CPR with a medical student who unfortunatly hadn't got to the part in her training where she needed to keep calm and concentrate - so I was trying to keep her calm - we carried on till the ambulance arrived and they took over.. but the stopped after a few minutes saying that his heart had just given out..

the thing that struck me was the colour of this lovely old grandfathers eyes.. they were ice blue.. but as I looked at them, they changed and dulled - I truely believe that was the last of him leaving his body. He looked in peace then.. whilst when we were working on him his eyes were so sharp and piercing in colour..

I don't think I'm scared of death per say.. just the bits leading up to it.. I do beleive in re-incanation tho, so I think that I will come back to learn lessons that this life hasn't allowed me to learn or tore-learn what I got wrong this time around..

I honour you as an aspect of myself..

You are never to old to storm a bouncey castle..

Posted: 12th Jun 2007
I always have been, and always will be afraid of dying.



Not so much myself, more my parents and family.



It's something that crosses my mind daily and has led on to mental illness because I become so paranoid that sometimes I have to call them ringing them. They know I have these thoughts and are very supportive and they say 'We're not going anywhere anytime soon' etc but it does not reassure me. My parents are very fit people. Dad is 63 (Looks about 45 though) and Mum is 57 (also doesn't look it) They are fit, have great jobs, eat healthily and exercise. Yet I still worry. There has been times when I was living at home that I didn't want Dad to go for a walk because I'd worry he'd have a heart attack, or he'd get abducted. This irrational paranoid, although it fluctuates in frequency, it's always in the back of my mind.



I wish I could accept that it happens, but I can't.



I think it might have something to do with never being to a funeral before. Not that I'm in any rush to go to one of course. But maybe because I've never been to one I've never had the opportunity to get closure and accept it. I guess it comes down to fear of the unknown too.



I just don't the first funeral I attend to be one of my parents'.

.All things are beautiful if we take the time to look.

Posted: 12th Jun 2007
I don't want to die, there's so much to live for. The world is such a fantastic place. I'm not scared of dying, when your times up thats you. Nothing you can do about it. I had a "near death expierience" at 15 and it took about a year to actually fully appreciate that.

I saw no white lights, heard no god. If its all over when you buy the farm then thats all the more reason to Live. I think what would scare me more would be a coma or phisically debilitating condition that left me mentally capable but phiscally unable to express myself.

More people are scared of truly living. People die, life carries on. The secret to etternal life is to live on in the lives you have touched while your alive, those of your freindsand your family. Well, IMHO that is.

"WHEN THE UNIVERS BEGAN I WAS THERE, WAITING, AND WHEN ITS ALL OVER I'LL PUT THE TABLES ON THE CHAIRS AND TURN OFF THE LIGHTS ON THE WAY OUT." DEATH from discworld.

Eagles may soar but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.

Telepath wanted, you know where to apply.

Posted: 12th Jun 2007
I work in a nursing home, and have sat with many residants as they have died.

I've been doing this job since I was 13, so have seen more 'friends' die than I care to remember.

My grandad passed away last tuesday.
I went to see him on wednesday night and knew then that he was going to die within the next 24 hours.
He was a shadow of the man I once knew. He was pale and his eyes were deep set, rolling in the back of his head.
I tried to give him some juice to clear his mouth out (the staff at the nursing home had stupidly tried to give him lunch earlier but the liquid mush had just stayed in his mouth), but he had lost his swallow reflex and choked a little.
So I got a swab on a stick, found the latex gloves, and cleaned his mouth out, then just made sure his mouth and lips remained moist for the rest of my visit.

My mum and auntie watched and wispered to each other "she should have been a nurse!"

It felt really odd to be doing this type of care to my grandad. I've been though this routine of 'setting somebody up to die' many times before, but it felt a little odd as I'd known this man all my life.
I also felt comforted by it in a way. That I was making him comfortable in the last few hours of his life.

He fell asleep after we left and then died peacefully dreaming the next morning.

People my own age, and even those more mature find out what I do and hear some of my stories, and proclaim that they're "not going to get to that age anyway", "I dont want to live like that".

The likely hood, you will. You will sit propped up in a bed, wasting away, in pain from bedsores, whilst a girl much like myself will swab your mouth with water, making you comfortable and informing your family that you will soon 'pass on'.


No its not pretty, no its not nice. But its life, or rather, the end of it.

Death is inevitable, you cant avoid it. The best you can do is be prepared for it.

I've been called 'a cold hearted b!tch' by very sad member of my family a couple of days ago, because she didnt think I was grieving enough for grandad.
I am grieving. I fail to see how a girl can lose her only remaing grandparent and not grieve.
I just not have the tears and the snot bubbles and the "Oh I wish he was with us now" lark.
I am sad that he has gone but I dont wish he was alive again because he was a very poorly old man, and was nothing like the grandad I knew as a child. He needed to die.

Take that as you will

Posted: 12th Jun 2007
I think you're right Aimz.
When my nan was in intensive care a couple of years ago, my mum said "let's hope for the best then".

And I said "you mean, let's hope she dies in peace very soon?"

My mum looked at me, then thought about it, and agreed, but cried.

My nan was a very independent old gal, and to wake up, with tubes in her, a colostomy bag, a catheter and failed kidneys, she would have hated it.

I have no doubt in my mind my nan is living on in Spirit.

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

Posted: 12th Jun 2007

when my grandfather was dying, we took care of him but eventually it got to be too much and my family talked about putting him in a home. They thought he was asleep. He died right after.

my grandmother was independent, helped her husband run a store till they were in their eighties. I was glad when she passed.No one noticed but me. I heard it, and smelled it. It's wierd but I can smell death. I knew those nights they were passing. When I was at prom, I smelled it when my cousin was killed.

When you see that people are not who they were and they were suffering, I'm glad that it's over...I like to think they get to be who they truly are w/o wordly worries when they die

sorry that got long

Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

Posted: 13th Jun 2007
With any luck when my time comes I'll crash thu the side of my coffin with a joint in one hand, a brew in the other and with a big smile on my face. (not to be taken literaly)

At the end of the day Live for Life and don't stop till you can't get up anymore.

Hope that none of you think that I'm too crass but the best that any of us can hope for is to enjoy life and to die a quick and quiet death.

May my balls of fire set your balls on fire