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Forums > Social Discussion > Anxiety and Depression: Does it truly ever go away

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Kaji


Kaji

Quantum Theorist
Location: Vansterdam

Total posts: 564
Posted:Anxiety and Depression:

Does it really get better

or

Do you just learn to pretend everything is ok when it's not.

Ok I posted this question in either/or but I feel like it needs serious discussion right now. As you may or may not know I suffer from anxiety and depression as does my girlfriend. Since about Febuary I have been going in an up and down cycle of depression and anxiety with only brief days when i feel good. Those cycles are getting longer with less and less good days. I'm begining to think that I'll never get better. That I'll always be this way. That all you can really do is pretend every thing is ok, whether it is or not.

What do you think?


In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird, now the world is weird and they take prozac to make it normal again.

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TinyPixie
SILVER Member since Apr 2006

TinyPixie

enthusiast
Location: in the clouds..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 394
Posted:Big hug to everyone

LTC, I think it's great how you focus on the beautiful things that this aspect of your personality has helped you achieve... I'm with polarity, don't down-play any of it!

I think, while it's never good to go on pretending everything is fine, there is some wisdom in not focusing too much on worrying... like you say Nigel, being actively involved in maintaining health is much more effective... and fun smile

kiss kiss to all!


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=Flashpoint=
SILVER Member since Sep 2004

=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs..., United Ki...

Total posts: 2719
Posted:Me, i'm just lonely as hell.

Tried getting out more, but I'm starting to get very shy in meeting new people (which isn't me, at all) and I'm getting sore at the fact I have nowhere to turn. I'm totally and utterly on my own. I cant afford the petrol to see my brother (which I want to do) and my dad still hasn't rang me to tell me i'm a step-uncle. No-one calls, and it feels like no-one cares.

Which flat out isn't true. I know I'd be missed, so I'm not going to do anything silly.

But still, when the night draws in and there's no-one around, and I once again evaluate my position, I've just got nothing going for me.

Still, if I wasn't taking pills, I'd be dead right now.

Counsellors suck

I'm trying private hypnotherapy, to reprogram my brain, but I cant afford the sessions at the mo.

Life's great.


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free..., United Kingd...

Total posts: 8737
Posted:I think it goes away biggrin I had a nervous break a few years ago was off work for a year, didn't like going outside, couldn't perform simple tasks, cried, brooded took copious amounts of medication and councilling and I'm happy wink yeah I feel a little down sometimes but who doesn't. there IS the other side at least there was for me. I changed my life, my work, the people my attitude the only thing I didn't was juggling and my flat.

In fact just before my break I became so focused on juggling I even did it at work sat at my desk. it became my sole focus for the weeks leading up to it, to the point where even when I was told off I just kept doing it anyway. It was my mental pillow.

Find stuff you truely enjoy, and remove anything from your life that sucks, it can be hard but it's well worth it. I found it very hard to get out of when I kept looking at the problem. When I decided to look for solutions it became much easier you realise when you want to get better because you will honestly try ANYTHING. It' was a case of feeling like I did forever of maybe just getting passed it to a place I could look back and say "thank God that's over". I know it's hard but there can be a silver lining hug 's to all


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:Hey Pete hug

it's weird people always say to me "you're too happy to have depression!" (which really annoys me) but reading what you've said, I'm quite surprised and saddened by it.
I always think of you as happy and you always make me smile.

I know exactly what you mean though.

I'm on antidepressants and sedatives which i think it's fair to say, I owe my life to.
I've had private hypnotherapy, and it helped me for a long time, but I didn't keep up with the self-hypnosis at home.

keep on keeping on Pete, you spread so much light and laughter. I wish there was something I could do to take away all the crap.

Ed, you know how wicked you are! You rule and you know i'm always here for you.

I've been going pretty mental myself the past few weeks, the onset of winter isn't my best time of the year.

Trying to do my Open uni course whilst my brain is frozen in depression is hard, and then I get stressed because i've not done my work! ARGH!

Anyway, you're all bloody beautiful and I love you, we gotta keep on going hug sunny xx


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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Phai
GOLD Member since Jan 2007

member
Location: , Australia

Total posts: 113
Posted:Nut me out if I don't make sense in the following, but it's just sheer coincidence that I had a major breakdown witnessed by my mother last night, and then found this thread.

It's been suggested recently and repeatedly, that I seek councilling for my strange mental patterns. I don't want to label myself with 'depression' (or anything else really) because

(a) I think I'd be presumptuous to do so without some professional opinion
(b) I entertain this weird idea that my mind can go on the mental merry-go-round, and when I say "STOP IT", it'll go "I can do what I like, because I'm depressed! Ha!"

I do get the "You're too happy to have depression" thing alot of the time - and people who have met me will understand why. My guess is because alot of the time, I can temporarily freeze my thoughts by proxy. I want attention, so I pay more care when dealing with the needs and wants of others. I can act as if I'm amazingly happy, while really scraping the bottom of the barrel. As such, I find it very difficult to talk about my emotions (though I excel at talking about others) and don't really want to see a councillor or take meds. However, when push comes to shove, I don't want to remain like this.

Most recently (read: last night) I hit the trough of an emotional cycle - with my mother present. She was shocked as I don't think she's ever seen me screaming that my mind is choking me while I'm hyperventilating. Anyway. I find I have strong mental episodes where I feel that my mind attacks me - either pervasively, like a harpy whispering stuff in my ear, or as a short physical attack - such as thinking someone is wrapping their hands around me neck and choking me. It's quite scary, because although I can recognise that the panic and nightmares are constructed by me, I can't find the 'off' switch.

In the end, I'm asking what people think. Has anyone ever had a strong bout of depression followed by an, well, I don't know what it is. Paranoia that somehow, you're not completely alone in your body.


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=Flashpoint=
SILVER Member since Sep 2004

=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs..., United Ki...

Total posts: 2719
Posted:Somebody said something to me over the weekend that made me laugh an took the blues away for a good long while.



You know who you are...



Thank you!



biggrin hug biggrin


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:ubblol

hug

I just got back from the docs, he put my dose up so hopefully I will be better able to cope with stuff an ting! hug sunny

I saw a rainbow as well this morning, cheered me up! biggrin


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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The Tea Fairy
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

The Tea Fairy

old hand
Location: Behind you...

Total posts: 853
Posted:Phai, I can't relate to everything you're going through as I don't know the whole story etc, but the physical choking feeling you describe sounds just like a panic attack (I've had those in the past). They can be really scary and overwhelming, so I think you should definitely seek some help. I've had the feeling that my mind is being 'attacked' by unwanted thoughts and feelings too, I would get flashbacks etc related to post-traumatic stress.

Different people require different support/solutions, nobody can force you to do anything you're not comfortable with (meds/counselling etc) but I think you should look for some help with this. Personally counselling worked really well for me, though I had to stick with it for about 8 months before I felt like I was slowly getting back on the right track.


Idolized by Aurinoko

Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....

Bob Dylan

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faith enfire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2006

faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin, USA

Total posts: 3556
Posted:Oh those are horrible, mine exhibit themselves differently so I didn't recongize them.

Definitely consider getting help for those. They can impair your ablity to function in life, friends, work, school, family. I used to be in sales and I can't do it now, because I start getting panic attacks. ugh. sweaty palms. heart racing but barely beating, nausea. I thought I was having a heart attack smile

So change of jobs and a little time on medication-counseling never works well for me...others it's the other way.

Why be miserable, why let it control you any longer than it has to?


Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted: Written by: PinkNigel


Since she's into self-help in a big way as far as that's concerned, knowing the difference could well be a lot of help.




Yeah, stay away from self-help books.

This sort of problem is not the sort of problem you can self-help yourself out of.


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:I don't know, some self help books have really sorted me out. Especially Life and How to Survive it by John Cleese and Robyn Skinner. Also, Families and How to Survive Them.

And Dorothy Rowe's "Depression: the way out of your prison".

Granted, I'm not cured, but I'm no worse off, and sometimes we all need a bit of encouragement and insight smile


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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animatEd
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK

Total posts: 3540
Posted:THis made me laugh today.


Non-Https Image Link


ubbangel


Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:ubblol hai there mr sloth!!

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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jemima (jem)
SILVER Member since Dec 2002

jemima (jem)

Pooh-Bah
Location: london, United Kingdom

Total posts: 1750
Posted:I feel I need to contribute again here.

The aftermath of being a student has brought another change in my life. I've been worrying a lot about what the next era is going to be. I've been particularly worried about my "career": What I think I want to do, what's actually possible.

The words sedate, blank and neutral come to mind.

I've found that talking to friends has been a god send biggrin ubbrollsmileThankyou friends ubbrollsmile
Also keeping active mentaly and physically, no matter how little of it.

I've also realsied that every month, being a lady, I've been getting extremely down moods for no specific reason or diproportionate to my worries. My mood lifts soon after (if you catch my drift wink)


Never assume
Always Acknowledge

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pricklyleaf
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

pricklyleaf

with added berries
Location: Manchester, England (UK)

Total posts: 1365
Posted:I definately know how you feel there Jem, I'm also having the whole what am I actually going to do with my life thing. I feel like I've lost part of my personality, after doing art for so long, and now I do hardly any. Its strange.

At the moment I'm actually working on what I definately don't want to do, and hopefully one day, I'll find the little things that I do want to do and take it from there.

As for insecurity, I'm trying to learn how to find the balance between confidence and self-reflection, I've not found it yet, but I'm getting there. I've had my first few proper highs of confidence, which is an acheivement for me. With settling into a lot of new things, which are in every direction of my life at the moment, I'm finding my confidence slump, but I know I can pull myself back up, and I know why I'm feeling what I'm feeling and that makes me know that its ok to feel like that sometimes.

Re: that weird monthly slump thing. Every single month I get really depressed, and I can never work out why. I really can never genuinly realise why I'm feeling down. Until a few days later and then I realise. You would think you could learn to anticipate it, but I think its a special kind of blindness!

hug to everyone. We'll all find our own paths and until then, value all the experiences the journey gives us, good or bad, they all help us grow.


Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The Tea Fairy
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

The Tea Fairy

old hand
Location: Behind you...

Total posts: 853
Posted:ditto to Jem and Pricklyleaf, regarding the 'what the hell am I supposed to do for a career' worries. I graduated about a year and a half ago now. I studied social anthropology, which I did really really enjoy and learn a lot from but it doesn't really do much for career prospects, unless you do a masters/phd (that's how it feels anyway). In most job interviews I have to spend 10 - 15 mins trying to explain what exactly social anthropology is, but it doesn't get the same response from most employers as say a degree in psychology or sociology, though I've done modules in both of those subjects (including stats and data analysis) and more.

I'm probably moving back to Gloucestershire after xmas and I'm actually a bit daunted at leaving London... I do want to go back to rural life, but I have friends here now, I'm worried I might get bored and I'm really, really worried about finding a job... I'm just an administrator at a university and I make about 20k a year in London, back in Gloucestershire the same job only pays about 12 - 14k, I know cost of living is cheaper outside london but I know it's not THAT much cheaper... not being able to make much money and not having the same job prospects as here is very scary.


Idolized by Aurinoko

Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....

Bob Dylan

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pricklyleaf
SILVER Member since Mar 2005

pricklyleaf

with added berries
Location: Manchester, England (UK)

Total posts: 1365
Posted:As I mentioned a bit before, I've been starting to hit a low as of late, but tonight (after a well needed nap, which made me feel better already) I took the time to read back through this thread.

Its sad how many beautiful and talented people on here are going through so much, some of whom are people I know in real life (and I never realised how they were really feeling), and will be getting a big hug from me next time I see them (you know who you are!). Tortured artistic souls indeed. But I believe its the same place where my passion and determination comes from. And that makes it all worth it for me somehow. I'm all about turning negatives into postives. They are the strongest kinds of postives.

I'm actually stunned how much this thread has bumped me up, I feel like a switch has been flicked and I'm going back on track. Sure, I don't know what I want to do for a career, and I'm earning hardly any money, in a job that doesn't challenge me. But I'm young, and I'm finally coming across opportunities where I never would expect them.

Suddenly a lot more things are making sense.

Baby steps.


Live like there is no tomorrow,
dance like nobody is watching
and hula hoop like wiggling will save the world.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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animatEd
BRONZE Member since Aug 2004

animatEd

1 + 1 = 3
Location: Bristol UK

Total posts: 3540
Posted:Holly, My thoughts exactly. hug

Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

Delete

=Flashpoint=
SILVER Member since Sep 2004

=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs..., United Ki...

Total posts: 2719
Posted:Hey! I'm feeling great! I've just lost my job!
frown

But this may be for the best. I wasn't happy there, I was always seeming to mess things up, and I can try to get something worthwhile now.

Once again, baby steps.

It's time to move on... again...


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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Phai
GOLD Member since Jan 2007

member
Location: , Australia

Total posts: 113
Posted:hug It's a big change, but once you've got everything sorted, I hope you find yourself happier.

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=Flashpoint=
SILVER Member since Sep 2004

=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs..., United Ki...

Total posts: 2719
Posted:Thx Phai,
ubblove


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:Big hugs to everyone hug

I am feeling a lot better after going to a knitting show this week! I learnt to knit on 4 needles and learnt how to do patterns with different coloured yarns, and I've made some ribbed fingerless mitts which i love ubblove

I also bought a felting kit and I've never done felting before so I'm looking forward to it.
I also helped my friends decorate their flat with Christmas stuff which made me feel cosy inside.

And now I am thinking I would quite like to put up decorations in my flat, I think it is these little things that really help get us through.

I am also looking forward to reading another Neil Gaimen book.

Then again, the doctor has upped my dose so i might just be feeling better because of that!! ubblol


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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polarity
SILVER Member since May 2005

polarity

veteran
Location: on the wrong planet, United Ki...

Total posts: 1228
Posted:I think I'll end up decorating all the boxes I've yet to unpack in my flat biggrin

You aren't thinking or really existing unless you're willing to risk even your own sanity in the judgment of your existence.

Green peppers, lime pickle and whole-grain mustard = best sandwich filling.

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:ubblol good idea!!

At this exhibition I went to, they had loads of paper shapes, origami style ( i don't know there real name), and I thought "Polarity could do better".
And they were asking hundreds of squids for it!! eek

Cheeky knitting gits!


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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faith enfire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2006

faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin, USA

Total posts: 3556
Posted:Have you come across the Stitch n' B**** books? It's all about the cheeky knitting

Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:yep, sure have. In fact I have Tao Star's SnB book here still.

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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=Flashpoint=
SILVER Member since Sep 2004

=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs..., United Ki...

Total posts: 2719
Posted:Cheeky knitting? This I have to see!

It's 5.30 am and I can't sleep. I went to buy a hat today, it'll be a good hat too.

But while I was there there was a really cute girl involved in the discourse about the hats, and I've been kicking myself for nigh on 12 hours about "Why didn't I ask her if she fancied a coffee or something?"

I've run out of pills. Again. I'm getting more Friday, and I have one to take tomorrow. But being out of work (ish) and ruining my sleep patterns isn't helping. Tomorrow, I'm going to have a long shower, cut my hair and trim my beard, put on some relatively nice clothes and go looking for a new job. And buy the hat.
If I dont get started again, I'm going to go offficially insane.

I'm lonely as hell here at the moment. but mostly cos its 5.30 and I cant sleep.

The watches of the night are the worst time to be thinking. I've been thinking lately about all the opportunities I've let slip through my fingers cos the "time wasn't right" or I didn't twig on at the time. All my exes are married and/or parents, I'm now a step-uncle, my best friend's little sister is du to pop any minute. Last time I looked at a calendar it was 2004. Have things been on hold for three years? Have I wasted them, like the 3 years I wasted after uni?

When people say that one "shouldn't have regrets", how does that work? Surely to be able not to regret the situation you're in would require one to be in a good situation now?

offtopic sorry.


ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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Skulduggery
GOLD Member since Aug 2004

Skulduggery

Pirate Pixie Crew Captain
Location: Wales

Total posts: 8428
Posted:Flash darling, you are a good kind gentle soul and you are loved by a great many people. If ever your name comes up in a conversation all I ever hear people say is good things about you, usually with a big smile on their faces.

You may not realise it but you have touched many peoples lives in the last 3 years and that is all we can ever really hope to do in life, connect with people in a good way that makes them happy. We are lead to believe when we are young that everything is about the big grand scheme and the big grand deeds. I think that's bollox! What it is about is the small gentle ways we help each other to live happy lives. You most certainly have made lots and lots of people smile.

I ubblove you loads and think you are one of the most wonderful people I've met along the way. hug


Feed me Chocolate!!! Feed me NOW!

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jo_rhymes
SILVER Member since Apr 2005

jo_rhymes

Momma Bear
Location: Telford, Shrops, United Kingdo...

Total posts: 4525
Posted:ditto skully!

Pete, don't dwell on the past my dear, think about the here and the now. Good plan about the shower & nice clothes & new hat!

Being awake in the middle of the night is horrible hug

I wish you could see what everyone else sees in you. You're bloomin' marvellous biggrin xxx


Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

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=Flashpoint=
SILVER Member since Sep 2004

=Flashpoint=

Pasta of Muppets
Location: in the interwebs..., United Ki...

Total posts: 2719
Posted:thanks guys. redface ubblove hug

ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile

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