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Forums > Social Discussion > New Poll -Are you the eldest child in your family?

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Malcolm
SAPPHIRE Member since Nov 2003

Malcolm

HOP admin
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand

Total posts: 1017
Posted:See current poll

Saw a program on TV the other night saying the eldest child is less likely to try different things or work "outside the square" to the same extreme as a younger child in the same family.
Something about the younger child trying to get attention away from the elder child.

Seems to run true in our family. I am the "Malcolm in the middle" wink with an elder brother and younger sister.
I enjoy the challenge of trying something different, not now for the attention but for the challenge of it and the Ice-Cream I get once achieved.
Do you think the TV program could be correct? Do you know what that program was called? (UK - BBC produced, curly black haired man (doctor?) with moustache presenter, funny, educational)




May your balls always burn

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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:Think I know the doctor you mean - Robert Winston - does a lot of popular programmes in a similar vein for the BBC.

I'm not the eldest, but my older brother is far more creative, innovative, free-thinking and interesting than myself. So in our family it doesn't seem to apply. However we do fit several other psychological trends - Middle Child Syndrome anyone? smile


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flid
BRONZE Member since Aug 2002

flid

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Warwickshire

Total posts: 3136
Posted:would this be the above mentioned cheeky chappie?


Non-Https Image Link


eerrrr, i mean


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ubbangel


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Malcolm
SAPPHIRE Member since Nov 2003

Malcolm

HOP admin
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand

Total posts: 1017
Posted:Yes, Thats the man ubblol

May your balls always burn

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Dentrassi
GOLD Member since Apr 2003

Dentrassi

ZORT!
Location: Brisbane

Total posts: 3044
Posted:the theory works in my family - im the baby, thus the circusy firespinner dude who will try anything. i also have the biggest artistic streak.

my elder bro and sis [7 & 8 years older!]....lets just say are a bit more conversative.

maybe its just that all the brains go to the first kids so im left with nothing ubbloco ubbrollsmile


"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.

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Mele
SILVER Member since Oct 2003

Mele

A perth girl gone walkabout...
Location: Back home in Perth WA

Total posts: 396
Posted:The theory is completly wrong in my family - I'm the eldest with two younger sisters - I'm the most outgoing, have the most friends, moved out of home first, have travelled further and more often, and am packing up in a few months to travel the world with no idea when or if i'm coming home.(not to mention hobbies such as firetwirling and doofing)



Meanwhile one of my sisters is still at home at 25yo saving to buy her own house, the other sister is living with her boyfriend (they just bought a house) and spend all their time gardening at looking at household items.



I'm seen as the crazy one who always has the bright ideas ubbloco


I smile because i have no idea whats going on!! biggrin

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gita
SILVER Member since Oct 2003

gita

.:*distracted by shiny things*:.
Location: brizvegas

Total posts: 3776
Posted:that theory doesn't apply to my family either!! i'm the oldest - i have just one younger brother. i'm a firetwirling vegetarian hippy type who moved an hour and a half away from the folks, went to uni for 5 & a half years (BA & a B. Social Science) and is now looking for a youth work job!! my brother went to tafe for less than 2 years, lives 10 minutes from the folks, is a carnivore and is working as a graphic designer.

i'm the more 'out there' one. i don't go visit the folks every weekend, or even every other weekend. my brother thinks i'm wierd cos i'm vegetarian and i play with fire. my brother even lives with guys he's known for years - i live with a girl who advertised her apartment on the net!! (the fact that she happened to be the year below me at the same school & we vaguely remember each other from then, is beside the point!! so is the fact that i've known her best friend since primary school! that's just weird!)

anyways - love the pics of that doc. lovely make up job!!! ubblol

weavesmiley


do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good to eat!

if at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished!

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Eera
BRONZE Member since May 2003

old hand
Location: In a test pit, Mackay

Total posts: 1107
Posted:I'm the youngest and a bit of an attention seeker so maybe Groucho Marx...um, Robert Winston's theory holds up a little here.

I've been burning stuff since I was old enough to walk down the road and buy a box of matches, but usually in secret. It feels good to come out.


There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.

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polythene


veteran
Location: London/ Surrey

Total posts: 1359
Posted:Eldest here too smile

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.

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flash fire
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

flash fire

Sporadically Prodigal
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2758
Posted:As usual, I seem to be the exception to the rule ubbloco

I'm the eldest - my sister is 5 years younger and my brother is 8 years younger. I'm the creative, travelling, free thinking new age type. My sister is currently studying vet at uni, has shares in an investment property and goes to the pub with her friends for fun. My brother is in his final year of high school, is in the 1st 15's rugby team, rides his dirt bike and dates pretty girls.

I meditate, am vegetarian, play with fire, write, paint, dance and lived overseas for 2 years and haven't found my life calling yet. I left home very young and have always danced to the beat of my own drum (or that of Cosma.... yay for doofers!).

Perhaps the fact that I was an only child during my formative years, then left the family home at age 15 makes me a bit of an exception - methinks my younger sister has taken on the role of oldest child, bowing to family pressures and social sensibilities.


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Faberg
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

veteran
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Total posts: 1459
Posted:My whole family are probably an exception to that theory. But I guess that's not too hard when your folks are hippies and have travelled the world themselves. They've always encouraged us to do the same and always be open for a challenge and try out new things cool

I'm the oldest (33) and probably most often called the wierdest, though I'd like to think both my younger brothers and I are equally outgoing, innovative and crazy ubbloco

I've probably got more of an artistic side, studied fashion design, spent all of my 20's travelling Europe, the Middle East, lived in the Netherlands for a long time. Back in Ireland the past 4 years, packing it all in again in October and fecking off to South America for a year biggrin

My 30 year old brother lives in San Fransisco, spends all of his time surfing, snowboarding & training for triathalons, is a Burning Man veteran, and may be joining me in South America for a few months next year cool

The youngest, 25, spends all his time skateboarding, dj-ing, organising gigs, writing music, partying, and never touches drugs or alcohol.

My family rock bounce2


My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely smile

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Blackass


Blackass

Blueass
Location: Edinburgh badger set

Total posts: 183
Posted:I thought I was the loony child (I am the oldest btw) however my younger sisters seem to be taking over at a fair pace now they are older. mad2

---------------------------------
Breathing fire doesn't look good on the resume - Everclear

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Pink...?
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

Pink...?

Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There

Total posts: 6140
Posted:That theory sounds right to me...

My sister is 5 years older and is happily married in a nice flat (moving to a 3 bed house soon). She wants me to be more like her, that if get a nice office job and stick with it i will be happy. I will be able to buy a nice widescreen TV and such and be content!

We differ quite a lot. I am the one who goes out and spins poi and staff, who doesn't want to do officer work and cares more about enjoying a career then the money it will bring in.

ubblove


Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

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duballstar
SILVER Member since Sep 2003

duballstar

slack rating - 9.5
Location: Suburbiton, Yoo-Kay

Total posts: 2216
Posted:hmmm.. it's hard to say.

juggle i'm the eldest of two and i think i've led the way for my family creatively. used to do quite 'far out' art, have meddled with all sorts of drugs, like alternative music, do poi/juggling etc..

BUT

hot on my heels my little sister is also extremley creative. perhaps more conventionaly so (her art never got as far out and she's pretty normal compared to me) BUT she is the one going on to do an art/fashion degree and i love her ideas. ubblove she's really good. i reckon that if either of us is gonna make a lot of money/ a career from their creative side she will! ubbangel

there's no competition though, just mutal respect i reckon... hug


It is our fantasies that make us real. Without our fantasies we're just a blank monkey' - Terry Pratchett

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_Aime_
SILVER Member since Jan 2004

_Aime_

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hastings

Total posts: 4172
Posted:its wrong for me as well. I've got one younger sister. She's a librarian and never does the top button undone of her school shirt and never does anything wrong ubblol where as there's me.....well yes...and then theres just me ubbangel

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Rovo
GOLD Member since Jul 2003

Rovo

(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
Location: Austin, TX, USA

Total posts: 544
Posted:I am the oldest in my family. I can say I started thinking "outside the square" and now I don't think I could get back inside even if I wanted to. biggrin

Peace, Love, Circles

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Dunc
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

Dunc

playing the days away
Location: The Middle lands

Total posts: 7263
Posted:I don't think this is particularly true. Although I am the youngest of three we have very different personalities. I think that a trait such as one to make you "work outside the square" (god I hate that term, you wouldn't believe where it actually comes from) is in your personality regardless of birth order...although if it is true I'm glad I was the youngest! biggrin weavesmiley

p.s. nice to see you posting Malc! wink


Let's relight this forum ubblove

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sunbeam
SILVER Member since Nov 2001

sunbeam

old hand
Location: Madrid

Total posts: 1032
Posted:offtopic hmm confused2 so where does it actually come from custom bug? you can't say something like that and then not explain yourself!

anyhoo back to the thread - this topic is interesting 'cause I've noticed for a long time how position in the family (especially related to siblings) can affect people's personalities.

From my own experience (and I don't think its the same for everyone) being the youngest in my family has meant that I have always had to shout louder to be heard!
help - but I do think the youngest sibling often has to find more to rebel against than their older siblings because it's all been done before: that might be one factor.

Also, I think having older siblings and learning from their mistakes/successes must have given me more confidence to try things out myself. And having people who love and support you unconditionally makes it a lot easier to find out who you are.

Our sense of self comes from looking at other people and realising what we are not. My sister is 1 year older and looks very similar, we used to get mistaken for twins a lot. Now my hair is in dreads and i've got piercings we don't look so alike, but I wonder if changing my appearance was one way of differentiating myself from her and asserting my own personality. umm

good topic malcom, cheers

sunny


"I don't take drugs. I am drugs" - Salvador Dali

sunny

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triple wordscore


member
Location: London, Uk, in a boring town c...

Total posts: 75
Posted:
Well, i'm the younger one of my family at the grand age of 20. I have an older brother (5 years different) I agree with sunbeam that the younger sibling may try to rebel as the parents have had to deal with alot of things before.

I am told by my parents that i'm the more outgoing, as my brother didnt really do much as he was growing up. Sure he had lots of friends, but him and his mates never used to do much. As far as I can remember alot of camping in the woods, watching alot of TV + videos and maybe about 3 gigs a year.

Me on the other hand was always out doing something. Going to loads of gigs, clubbing every weekend, Reading Festival each year. Ok, it may not seem like I am much more outgoing. But to my parents, I am. wink

Now that I spin my parents just think i'm nuts ubblol I'm glad i'm the younger one of the family as I got to watch my brother grow up and take into my head the good things to do and got so good things to do.




Cant Sleep Or The Clowns Will Get Me!!!!

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Dunc
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

Dunc

playing the days away
Location: The Middle lands

Total posts: 7263
Posted:Quote:
offtopic hmm confused2 so where does it actually come from custom bug? you can't say something like that and then not explain yourself!



confused

How was that off topic? What I mean is - I think that a personality trait such as this is something you're born with, it's natural, not nurtured. Nor do I think it is due to striving for attention because of your siblings.

That better?


Let's relight this forum ubblove

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Doc Lightning
GOLD Member since May 2001

Doc Lightning

HOP Mad Doctor
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA

Total posts: 13920
Posted:I'm not sure. I'm the only child from the union of my parents, but each of them was married previously and each of them has kids from those marriages. My brother (half-brother...but I call him a brother) is 42 and my sisters (half-sisters) are 51, 49, and 47.

So I am all at once: youngest, oldest, only, and baby. cool


-Mike )'(
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella

"A buckuht 'n a hooze!" -Valura

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sunbeam
SILVER Member since Nov 2001

sunbeam

old hand
Location: Madrid

Total posts: 1032
Posted:Quote:
Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hmm so where does it actually come from custom bug? you can't say something like that and then not explain yourself!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------





How was that off topic? What I mean is - I think that a personality trait such as this is something you're born with, it's natural, not nurtured. Nor do I think it is due to striving for attention because of your siblings.

That better?



confused

i meant you have to explain where the above term "work outside the square" came from, after this comment you made..

Quote:
I think that a trait such as one to make you "work outside the square" (god I hate that term, you wouldn't believe where it actually comes from)



"I don't take drugs. I am drugs" - Salvador Dali

sunny

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Kit


veteran
Location: middle of Troon

Total posts: 1269
Posted:i'm the youngest of two My lder brother smokes dope and works in safeways that is the extent of his life.

He was artistic but not musical when younger. Now he doesn't do art so much but is learning drums

i.e. listening to his favourite music and trying to copy it and instantly being an expert... it kills me to listen the rythym is awful!



I hear alot of my friends who are older in their family moaning how they broke all the boundrys and the younger siblings get away with murder

My brother got away with murder and they're now clamping down on me. It's like they're seeing how my bro is doing nothing with his life and not making any noises about leaving home anytime soon, and they're trying to clamp down on me so i wont end up like him.

I'm not likely to end up like him I got goodish grades at school got to uni when i was 17 leaving home in the process, have recently had to move back home but it was always clear that it was temporary. (until september)

They dont like that i'm quite happy to ask for help from people if i need to know something or if i'm in trouble. they want me to be more self-sufficiant. but i'm really not like that i love the whle community idea of helping each other it makes for happier lives i reckon, Self sufficiancy killed the old community spirit.



I'd rather be stupid and happy than rich successful and lonely





I dont know where i'm going with this and frankly i'm beginning to forget the original topic but yeah i'm the younger and more creative sorry for the ramble guys





oh and custom where did thinking outside the square come from then?




EDITED_BY: Kit (1083149449)


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Dunc
GOLD Member since Aug 2003

Dunc

playing the days away
Location: The Middle lands

Total posts: 7263
Posted:Quote:

i meant you have to explain where the above term "work outside the square" came from, after this comment you made..



Ah I see! redface Sorry!

It comes from a guy who was (maybe still is?) a guru in production control techniques and manufacturing philisophies. I think his name was Duran but it could have been someone else I can't remember from my studies. Basically he went to a struggling major motor manufacturer and used the expression in a presentation to make the senior management think in a new way about how they control their production, maintain customer service and sell their business to the public as a whole. Very boring really but it's a term I don't like in general, even before I learned it's history.

you may now return to your normal viewing ......

L8rs wave ubbrollsmile


Let's relight this forum ubblove

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:what about if i'm the only child in my family? im not the oldest, but im not, not the eldest either....if u get what the hell i'm talking about! (well done if you are!)

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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sunbeam
SILVER Member since Nov 2001

sunbeam

old hand
Location: Madrid

Total posts: 1032
Posted:cheers custom bug smile no longer confused now.

and kit - right on sista! your ramble did stray off topic but what you said was spot on. hug clap peace - I quite agree

and rougedragon I think being an only child has an effect as well, don't you think its affected you in comparison to people who you know who have siblings?


"I don't take drugs. I am drugs" - Salvador Dali

sunny

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Kapura Mataaro


Kapura Mataaro

HoP resident longboarder.
Location: Tasmania, Australia

Total posts: 195
Posted:i'm the oldest and i'm the most out there...go figure... eek ubbloco

"surely a longboarding fire spinner should have no trouble getting some action!"- NYC....

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Tao Star


Tao Star

Pooh-Bah
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 1662
Posted:there's another theory (although i can't remember who said it) that after you get to the third child they become less and less affected by the personalities of the parents and a bit more wild!

it's certainly true in my family, my big bro's like my dad, i basically am my mum, but my little bro is completely different - not the most creative, but goes his own way vompared to the rest of us.

it's true if a lot of other people i know as well - if you spot the odd guy it's often true that he's a third child, or beyond.


I had a dream that my friend had a
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it was the book of my dreams.

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oli
SILVER Member since Jul 2003

not with cactus
Location: bristol/ southern eastern devo...

Total posts: 2052
Posted:im the oldest, but id say its hard to know weather me or my brother is crazier.

i cant remember how crazy i was when i was his age... maybe slightly more so. id say hes weirder than me though, i think he gose out of his way to be weird. we are both failry arty, but with different styles, i like my art to mean something, he likes his to look pretty.

so id say, weather the theory holds for my family depends on how you measure the 'crazyness'.
but it is possibly true.

meditate


Me train running low on soul coal
They push+pull tactics are driving me loco
They shouldn't do that no no no

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Dai


member
Location: Aberystwyth/ Newcastle

Total posts: 22
Posted:confusedhmm. I'm the youngest and kinda more adventurous - play wih fire, hurl my self of cliffs, and very inclined to try somthing new when somone says 'anyone else wanna go?' (incidently how I started fire poi).
However I can also be a bit of a 'stay at home' type wilst both my elder sisters have travelled the world I'm much more inclined to stay at home and have never travelled independantly or outside europe. As for the theory that younger children do things to atract attention from their older siblings I'm no so sure. Parents often seem to have a 'thats nice dear' attitude towards the older kids cos they think they're old enough to look after themselfs and the younger ones need more care and attention resulting in the youngest being most spoilt and dependant on parents and the eldest being most indepenfant and free thinking,

confusedhmm, really I think these theories are to general to be put to use but they provoke thought and can bring about interesting discussions ubbrollsmile


even a frisbee is a lethal weapon in the hands of the wrong person

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dillweed


member
Location: Luton near london

Total posts: 4
Posted:I am the oldest child in my family. I have a younger brother and a younger sister. I am the most out going and attention seekeng of the three.

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Page: 12

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