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Kat
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Kat

Pooh-Bah
Location: London

Total posts: 2211
Posted:A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and Action Man." Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken." "No," said the little girl. "She comes with Action Man, she fakes it with Ken." ubbrollsmile

Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.

- W B Yeats

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monserat
SILVER Member since Apr 2006

monserat

My flabber is gasted
Location: waaaay south of heaven

Total posts: 737
Posted:what do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
sorted

Smartie is trying to convince Jelly Baby to come out for a drink."But I always get beaten up when I go out" complains Jelly Baby, "I'm staying in". "Don't worry" says Smartie, "I'm a hard case, I'll look after you. No-one will bother you if I'm with you." So Jelly Baby agrees to go out. Sure enough in the first place they go to everyone gets respectfully out of the way at the bar and Smartie hovers threateningly any time anyone thinks that picking on Jelly Baby might be fun. Suddenly Smartie spots Tunes walk in through the door. Smartie says "Look after my drink" and disappears into the toilet. Tunes comes up behind Jelly Baby and says "What are you doing here soft boy?", promptly gives him the kicking of a lifetime and walks out in disgust. Smartie comes out of the toilet just as Jelly Baby is crawling out from under the wreckage of a table. "I thought you were going to look after me?" said Jelly Baby, and Smartie replies "Yeah, but that Tunes is menthol!"


Chaos is the natural state of the universe

Some days I'm the pigeon, some days I'm the statue.

honourary militant margerine ninJAH

If it wasn't for displacement activity I wouldn't get half as much done

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misscorinthian
SILVER Member since Sep 2005

misscorinthian

old hand
Location: Bristol

Total posts: 784
Posted:How many surrealist artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A fish.


XLenX

Devoted although mostly absent owner of the 1, the original... Asena

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maus
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

maus

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Sihanoukville, cambodia

Total posts: 4191
Posted:ubblol

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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:in keeping with the light buld theme.............


How many stoners dose it take to change a light bulb??


1 plus a couch full of people, one to change the buld the rest to complane thats " it's too bright maaannn"


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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:An old married couple are having breakfast who had been marryed for 50 years. They wheresitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old boy said to his wife " just think darling we have been marryed for half a century"

"Yes dear" she replyed "Just think it was 50 years ago we was sitting at this ere breakfast table"

"I know " said the old boy " and we was proberly sat here naked as well"

" well" the granny sniggered " what do ya say we should get naked again?"

The pair then stripped off to the buff and sat back at the table

" how does it feel" asked the old man

"You know sweetheart " she replyed breathlessly "My nipples are still as hot for you today as they was all them 50 years ago"

" im not surprised " replyed the old boy " Ones in your coffie and the others in you porrage ubblol


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faith enfire
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

faith enfire

wandering thru the woods of WI
Location: Wisconsin

Total posts: 3556
Posted:i was just trying to think of that one this weekend

Faith
Nay, whatever comes one hour was sunlit and the most high gods may not make boast of any better thing than to have watched that hour as it passed

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Pogo69
SILVER Member since Apr 2006

Pogo69

there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
Location: limbo

Total posts: 3764
Posted: Written by: misscorinthian


How many surrealist artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A fish.



ubblol ubblol ubblol

I dunno whether it's a good or a bad thing... but that's the funniest thing I've heard in ages...!!!


--pogo (pat) [forever and always]

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WOFT
SILVER Member since May 2005

Likes trees...
Location: Cape Town, South Africa

Total posts: 209
Posted:Why did little sally fall off her tricycle?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because she got hit by a bus...


'n Boer maak 'n plan.

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alien_oddity


alien_oddity

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: in the trees

Total posts: 7193
Posted:what's blue and sits at the bottom of a.................ARRRGGGHHH i must resit posting such jokes ubblol

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Neon_Shaolin
GOLD Member since Jul 2005

Neon_Shaolin

hehe, 'Member' huhuh
Location: Behind you. With Jam

Total posts: 6120
Posted:What did one testicle say to the other?


I've no idea either, they were talking b****cks...


"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

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Page: 123

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