Forums > Social Chat > Help For a Friend Who is Dieing
Login/Join to ParticipateHot Schtuff
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
Posted:
Last year I wrote in my intro about a friend of mine, Chris (Oreo), who had been diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma cancer. He had to have his right leg amputated just below the knee and had to have chemo for about a year after that. Well he got finished with his chemo and a few months later he noticed a lump in his shoulder. He went to get it checked out and turns out his cancer is back and has now spread throughout his body. The dr.'s have given him a time frame of about 3 weeks to live.
So some of us are trying to do something special for him and we came up with the idea of a surprise party/celebration of his life. But found out that it may not be a surprise party due to some of his friends who will slip it out. So Chris will know about the party. But I'm more interested in what all we can do for him.
I decided to do a fire show for him since he has never seen me perform. But don't know if there is a fire ban in effect or not. If there is and I get caught I will be fined or will go to jail or something like that. I really don't want that to happen. I don't think I could ask for permission either because that will take too long and Chris doesn't have that much time. I decided to try and do it out at our stadium. Plenty of concrete so not as likely to start a grass fire.
I have asked my friends to spread the word that I do not wish for any of them to be drinking or be drunk before, during, or while we are out at the stadium. I do not wish for us to get arrested for public intox or for somebody to be stupid and either cause me or themselves to get injured.
The only other thing planned after the fire show is to go back to a friends house and party there and drink and schtuff.
Does anybody have any suggestions in case there is a fire ban in my hometown or what else we could do to make it more fun for Chris?
Thanks
Last year I wrote in my intro about a friend of mine, Chris (Oreo), who had been diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma cancer. He had to have his right leg amputated just below the knee and had to have chemo for about a year after that. Well he got finished with his chemo and a few months later he noticed a lump in his shoulder. He went to get it checked out and turns out his cancer is back and has now spread throughout his body. The dr.'s have given him a time frame of about 3 weeks to live.
So some of us are trying to do something special for him and we came up with the idea of a surprise party/celebration of his life. But found out that it may not be a surprise party due to some of his friends who will slip it out. So Chris will know about the party. But I'm more interested in what all we can do for him.
I decided to do a fire show for him since he has never seen me perform. But don't know if there is a fire ban in effect or not. If there is and I get caught I will be fined or will go to jail or something like that. I really don't want that to happen. I don't think I could ask for permission either because that will take too long and Chris doesn't have that much time. I decided to try and do it out at our stadium. Plenty of concrete so not as likely to start a grass fire.
I have asked my friends to spread the word that I do not wish for any of them to be drinking or be drunk before, during, or while we are out at the stadium. I do not wish for us to get arrested for public intox or for somebody to be stupid and either cause me or themselves to get injured.
The only other thing planned after the fire show is to go back to a friends house and party there and drink and schtuff.
Does anybody have any suggestions in case there is a fire ban in my hometown or what else we could do to make it more fun for Chris?
Thanks
RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.
member
41 posts
Location: Manchester Cheadle Hulme
41 posts
Location: Manchester Cheadle Hulme
Posted:
why dont you ask your friend
why dont you ask your friend
''may the sun shine on everything we do''
member
313 posts
Location: london,uk
313 posts
Location: london,uk
Posted:
I'd say have lots of hugs and cuddles with your friend cos when they go it's their physical prescence that is missed the most and make sure you tell him all your feelings and how special he is to you,so you know that he knows...!
I'd say have lots of hugs and cuddles with your friend cos when they go it's their physical prescence that is missed the most and make sure you tell him all your feelings and how special he is to you,so you know that he knows...!
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
Ugh...
I'm at a loss.
I'm SO sorry.
Ugh...
I'm at a loss.
I'm SO sorry.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
GOLD Member
addict
625 posts
Location: Aotearoa (NZ), New Zealand
addict
625 posts
Location: Aotearoa (NZ), New Zealand
Posted:
Man...im soooo sorry. The near exact same thing happened to a real good friend of mine. We just made every moment count. Reading this thread reminded me of him and all the wicked great times we had, every little thing.
All i can say is do your best and be there, not just for him but for yourself, cause when your friend is gone you have to live with yourself, and hopefully it will be all the good memories and times. So make them while you can.
Man...im soooo sorry. The near exact same thing happened to a real good friend of mine. We just made every moment count. Reading this thread reminded me of him and all the wicked great times we had, every little thing.
All i can say is do your best and be there, not just for him but for yourself, cause when your friend is gone you have to live with yourself, and hopefully it will be all the good memories and times. So make them while you can.
*shiny shiny*
218 posts
Location: Townsville, QLD, Aust.
218 posts
Location: Townsville, QLD, Aust.
Posted:
there are no words that can describe my deepest sympathy. this happened to my best friend not so long ago and its hard to stand by and watch someone so important just slowly die.
we had a party for my friend. she was always the life of the party so we figured a party would be good. couple of our mates have their own band so they played at the party and they wrote a song for her. before performing they silenced the party so ppl could say a few words about our friend and then the band played their song, which moved 90% of the gathering to tears. they got their song recorded and we played it at her funerel too.
thats what we did and she loved it and said it was the best party she had ever been to...
hopefully that gives u an idea if u know any mates who are in a band or gives u something to start the ideas?
as for your twirling- if there is a ban- why not use flags or led lights or sumfin if you can get ahold of them? of course fire would be a lot cooler- but i guess u would like to perform for your mate at least once, so u may just have to go with 2nd best.
i know whatever u end up doin your mate will love it.
take care
there are no words that can describe my deepest sympathy. this happened to my best friend not so long ago and its hard to stand by and watch someone so important just slowly die. we had a party for my friend. she was always the life of the party so we figured a party would be good. couple of our mates have their own band so they played at the party and they wrote a song for her. before performing they silenced the party so ppl could say a few words about our friend and then the band played their song, which moved 90% of the gathering to tears. they got their song recorded and we played it at her funerel too.
thats what we did and she loved it and said it was the best party she had ever been to...
hopefully that gives u an idea if u know any mates who are in a band or gives u something to start the ideas?
as for your twirling- if there is a ban- why not use flags or led lights or sumfin if you can get ahold of them? of course fire would be a lot cooler- but i guess u would like to perform for your mate at least once, so u may just have to go with 2nd best.
i know whatever u end up doin your mate will love it.
take care
And wherever you've gone and wherever we might go. It don't seem fair. Today just disappeared.
Yes, as a matter of fact, i do use fire poi. Why do you ask?
104 posts
Location: inside your head
104 posts
Location: inside your head
Posted:
Do the show anyway
remember the age old proverb:
a friend calls you while you are in jail
a good friend visits u in jail
a best friend sits with you in jail and says "dude, that was AWESOME!"
sorry to hear about your friend
use the last of your time wisley
Do the show anyway
remember the age old proverb:
a friend calls you while you are in jail
a good friend visits u in jail
a best friend sits with you in jail and says "dude, that was AWESOME!"
sorry to hear about your friend
use the last of your time wisley
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
--------------------------------------------------------
HEY, I COULD SPIN THAT!
SILVER Member
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
100 characters max...
2,996 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posted:
This is one of the most beautiful ideas I have ever heard, and shows the love and compassion you feel for your friend.
As to the "what if there is a fire ban?" question. Sparkie suggested flags, and I think that could be a beautiful idea to build around. Maybe think of some lighting affects you could have. White flags with a UV light? Silver flags?
If only you could spin with flags made of fairy lights.
This is one of the most beautiful ideas I have ever heard, and shows the love and compassion you feel for your friend.
As to the "what if there is a fire ban?" question. Sparkie suggested flags, and I think that could be a beautiful idea to build around. Maybe think of some lighting affects you could have. White flags with a UV light? Silver flags?
If only you could spin with flags made of fairy lights.
It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.
What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Posted:
A young friend of ours passed away last year. At his wake at our place we each took a sprig of rosemary and tossed it in the fire and expressed the way we felt about Nick.
Sadly he was not there in the flesh to hear how we felt, but those close to him said they could feel him nearby.
I hope you can do fire for your friend....and that the celebration that you plan does all that you want. Its great that you care enough to do this.
A young friend of ours passed away last year. At his wake at our place we each took a sprig of rosemary and tossed it in the fire and expressed the way we felt about Nick.
Sadly he was not there in the flesh to hear how we felt, but those close to him said they could feel him nearby.
I hope you can do fire for your friend....and that the celebration that you plan does all that you want. Its great that you care enough to do this.
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Posted:
Not sure if this link will help you
Oaklahoma fire bans
I am assuming you are in this state from your details
Not sure if this link will help you
Oaklahoma fire bans
I am assuming you are in this state from your details
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Posted:
I'm sorry to hear about your news.
Why dont you ask your friend what he would like to see as it's not going to be a suprise anymore? If he would prefer fire or flags or LEDs? Would he like the show at somebodys house or at the stadium?
I'm sorry to hear about your news. Why dont you ask your friend what he would like to see as it's not going to be a suprise anymore? If he would prefer fire or flags or LEDs? Would he like the show at somebodys house or at the stadium?
Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
member
11 posts
Location: willesden green, london, england
11 posts
Location: willesden green, london, england
Posted:
i kinda agree with "pink..?" but i also understand the need to surprise him.
iam outta ideas but if you want help in finding or deoing something i will be more than happy to help.
iam sorry about your freind.
i kinda agree with "pink..?" but i also understand the need to surprise him.
iam outta ideas but if you want help in finding or deoing something i will be more than happy to help.
iam sorry about your freind.
GOLD Member
.
420 posts
Location: United Kingdom
.
420 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Posted:
I say just do the show....
I say just do the show....
GOLD Member
Captain Shawnie the Dreaded
126 posts
Location: Canada
Captain Shawnie the Dreaded
126 posts
Location: Canada
Posted:
Me too. Do the fire. Wouldn't want you to regret not doing it for him. Regret would make things even more painful.
Me too. Do the fire. Wouldn't want you to regret not doing it for him. Regret would make things even more painful.
GOLD Member
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom
playing the days away
7,263 posts
Location: The Middle lands, United Kingdom
Posted:
show souds good to me. He'll get to see you perform the thing you love so much, what more personal gift cuold you give him. Of course on top of that put your heads together with all his friends and think of something he'll love before the time comes. Ask his Mom & Dad if poss too.
Apart from that, some of this
a few of these and plenty of will please him no end I'm sure. And don't forget to take a couple yourself from him.
show souds good to me. He'll get to see you perform the thing you love so much, what more personal gift cuold you give him. Of course on top of that put your heads together with all his friends and think of something he'll love before the time comes. Ask his Mom & Dad if poss too.
Apart from that, some of this
a few of these and plenty of will please him no end I'm sure. And don't forget to take a couple yourself from him. Let's relight this forum 
Hot Schtuff
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
Posted:
Thank you all so much for your ideas.
I think I may do the fire show though out at the stadium. Fire ban or no fire ban. I will have plenty of safety equipment and there is a lot of concrete so not as likely to have fire's started. Plus not too many people would be able to see it and report it.
Chris knows about the party, we are just deciding which Saturday. I will be supplying a cake with "We Love You Chris" on it. We figured have everybody else bring whatever they wanted.
I also wanted to have somebody record the party and then make copies of it and give it to anybody who wanted one. Don't know how that will work out just yet though. But it is in a few of our minds.
Thank yall so very much
Thank you all so much for your ideas.
I think I may do the fire show though out at the stadium. Fire ban or no fire ban. I will have plenty of safety equipment and there is a lot of concrete so not as likely to have fire's started. Plus not too many people would be able to see it and report it.
Chris knows about the party, we are just deciding which Saturday. I will be supplying a cake with "We Love You Chris" on it. We figured have everybody else bring whatever they wanted.
I also wanted to have somebody record the party and then make copies of it and give it to anybody who wanted one. Don't know how that will work out just yet though. But it is in a few of our minds.
Thank yall so very much
RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.
Hot Schtuff
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
Posted:
Thanks for the link Gnorc. My hometown is back in WF, TX. My friends are gonna find out for me. Hopefully there is no fire ban because it is spring and we are in the storm season.
I will let yall know more when we have more of the details worked out.
Thanks for the link Gnorc. My hometown is back in WF, TX. My friends are gonna find out for me. Hopefully there is no fire ban because it is spring and we are in the storm season.
I will let yall know more when we have more of the details worked out.
RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.
Yes, as a matter of fact, i do use fire poi. Why do you ask?
104 posts
Location: inside your head
104 posts
Location: inside your head
Posted:
Also, a tribute to a dying friend is a damn good reason for breaking a fire ban on concrete.
Also, a tribute to a dying friend is a damn good reason for breaking a fire ban on concrete.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
--------------------------------------------------------
HEY, I COULD SPIN THAT!
GOLD Member
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Self-Flagellation Expert
3,414 posts
Location: Bogged at CG, Australia
Posted:
You have my deepest, heartfelt sympathy
Its very hard going through the loss of a friend, but at least you get the final chance to say goodbye.
One thing that i have heard of, that may extend the time he has left, is called collodial silver. It does some funky things with cells, and can extend the lifespan heaps. Theres plenty of stuff on the net about it.
Some ancient wise guy said:
To regret something that we did, that will be forgotten in time,
To regret something that we did not do, that will stick in our mind forever.
Go the fire show!
You have my deepest, heartfelt sympathy
Its very hard going through the loss of a friend, but at least you get the final chance to say goodbye.One thing that i have heard of, that may extend the time he has left, is called collodial silver. It does some funky things with cells, and can extend the lifespan heaps. Theres plenty of stuff on the net about it.
Some ancient wise guy said:
To regret something that we did, that will be forgotten in time,
To regret something that we did not do, that will stick in our mind forever.
Go the fire show!
"beg beg grovel beg grovel"
"master"
--FSA
"There was an arse there, i couldn't help myself"
--Rougie
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
don't worry about fire bans in TX. they apply to open fires, not contained ones. as long as your poi or staff doesn't leave your hands and is in your control (and not touching the ground), it is a contained fire and completely legal. just be extra sure to choose a safe spot that won't burn if there is an accident when a burn ban is in effect.
Also, cops are people too. if they do arrive and you explain the situation, I doubt they would do more than hang out to make sure nothing goes wrong or at the very worst tell you to stop, even with a ban in effect. Besies, cops don't know how to handle us, and there are pretty much no codes that really apply to people spinning fire. I seriously doubt even a small town texas cop would be a prick in a situation like that - especially if the show is for a terminally ill person from his town.
so don't worry about it and just do it!
and best wishes for your friend on the mysterious journey he will start soon. And my condolances to you, for once the ill are gone, it is ourselves that we greive for.
don't worry about fire bans in TX. they apply to open fires, not contained ones. as long as your poi or staff doesn't leave your hands and is in your control (and not touching the ground), it is a contained fire and completely legal. just be extra sure to choose a safe spot that won't burn if there is an accident when a burn ban is in effect.
Also, cops are people too. if they do arrive and you explain the situation, I doubt they would do more than hang out to make sure nothing goes wrong or at the very worst tell you to stop, even with a ban in effect. Besies, cops don't know how to handle us, and there are pretty much no codes that really apply to people spinning fire. I seriously doubt even a small town texas cop would be a prick in a situation like that - especially if the show is for a terminally ill person from his town.
so don't worry about it and just do it!
and best wishes for your friend on the mysterious journey he will start soon. And my condolances to you, for once the ill are gone, it is ourselves that we greive for.
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
SILVER Member
Are we there yet?
1,897 posts
Location: australia
Are we there yet?
1,897 posts
Location: australia
Posted:
good luck with it, it sounds like an awesome thing to do
good luck with it, it sounds like an awesome thing to do
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)
Posted:
I hope it works out. Very sorry to hear about your friend and what a wonderful send-off with a celebration of life is wonderful.
I hope it works out. Very sorry to hear about your friend and what a wonderful send-off with a celebration of life is wonderful.
Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.
- W B Yeats
BRONZE Member
ummmmmmm.............
724 posts
Location: Rotherham, UK
ummmmmmm.............
724 posts
Location: Rotherham, UK
Posted:
I hope it works out too, my nan died of cancer this morning, she really loved me doing poi etc. In fact she actually sat and watched col2 with me once , she was a funky old laydee. I hope all goes well for the party, and i hope things go smoothly for your friend chris. Its great that he has such loving friends, good luck, loads of love and hugs.xxxx
I hope it works out too, my nan died of cancer this morning, she really loved me doing poi etc. In fact she actually sat and watched col2 with me once , she was a funky old laydee. I hope all goes well for the party, and i hope things go smoothly for your friend chris. Its great that he has such loving friends, good luck, loads of love and hugs.xxxx
Only when the last tree has died
and the last river has been poisoned
and the last fish has been caught
will we realise that we
cannot eat money.
Cree Indian, 1909
Hot Schtuff
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
1,032 posts
Location: Stillwater,OK/Wichita Falls,TX
Posted:
Thank yall very much!
I'm sorry to hear of your nan Astro Faerie
Hope all is well with you at this time
Thank yall very much!
I'm sorry to hear of your nan Astro Faerie
Hope all is well with you at this time
RISK: Do not follow the common path; Go where there is no path and leave a trail.
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