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BRONZE Member since Dec 2000


the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:I am not a little person. I am tall and a bit thick in the middle, but not rolly or anything. I have defined muscle and such but my metabolism changed drastically after I had my son.
Prior to that I struggled with bulemia and being 30+ pounds under ideal weight for me. After I had him I had to change my life habits, deal with depression and not in a bulemic way, so I gained weight, and am trying to take it off sensibly.

I am also working on my self-confidence. I will always see myself about 50 pounds heavier than I am. I am working on being comfortable in my skin, and it is not easy.

Recently I was hired to do a trailing, Fire Eating, etc show with a specific theme which kind of required not a whole lot of clothing. I chose a skort (shorts hidden by a front panel to look like a skirt, not short ones though) and a decorated bra top, because I know that these would play on my good features and downplay my worst (middle and hips). I was told I looked really good even though I was not comfortable at all. I did it to "face the fear" essentially, hoping people would notice my fire and skill and not me. Some did, others would not. There were girls (and only girls, the guys were great) in the crowd who were just damn rude and hurtful. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it really does, alot. I am not that fat. I am not that ugly. But I felt like it, and still do looking at the pictures. All I wanted to do was entertain them. Share what I love to do, what I was hired to do. Obviously the person who hired me didn't think I was all that bad.
Now I look at the pictures and all I see is a cow. All I feel like doing is eating to puke. All I am doing is crying, feeling very lonely on this board of beautiful people.

Why the hell do people have to be so mean? What did I do to them? Here I am 28 thinking I left all this behind in school when I was picked on for being thin and different. *sigh* I give up.

Anyone else have anything like this happen?
Maybe PWB can post a pic of it so you can all be honest with me as to what you think.

Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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BRONZE Member since Jun 2001


Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

Total posts: 3989
Posted:Pele...I think ypou have answered your own questions by saying quote: There were girls (and only girls, Those ones were more likely younger than older and have emotional issues of their own own.

Their reasons for saying thosew things were unconscous expressions of their own insecurities and inexeperience with life.

There's no easy way to deal with it if it was truly upsetting, except being thankful that you aren't like that, and are a more wordly wonderful, beautiful person than any of them.

HoP Posting Guidelines
* Is it the Truth?
* Is it Fair to all concerned?
* Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
* Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?



Location: Brisvegas, Aus

Total posts: 53
Posted:pele, i have been reading the posts of people here for quite a while and you seem to be an absolutely amazing person whom people look up to and respect. that is why it makes me so sad to hear what u are going through. i am a teenage girl myself and i know how cruel girls can be to each other, especially when they are jealous. it's such a shame that people have to take their insecurities out on others. you were obviously hired for your talent,and im sure you were amazing. i only hope that the jealousy of those girls doesnt stop you from seeing how beautiful you really are.

love, kisses and magikal wishes, sam



el beardo
BRONZE Member since Nov 2001

Location: london, uk

Total posts: 72

like poipixie, i've been reading the posts here for ages, and to be honest, your one of the people i admire here. Not only are you very good at the many disciplines you do, but your a truly good person, and I've never read anyhting you've written that could be taken offensively, or in a negative way.

I, like yourself, have issues with my weight. I know how your feeling. I would never have even cosidered wearing something like that which you've described (apart form the fact that, as a man, i dont usualy wear decorated bras) - you're obviously a lot more confident and happy about the way you look than I am, and rightly so: Ive seen the pyromorph website, and youve got nothing to be embarrassed about,but rather a lot to be proud of. I know how much it hurts when someone says things like that, but please dont let it hurt you, and please don't start "eating to puke" - thats only going to put you through a lot more pain and hurt when, tomorrow or the day after, you sit up and realise that by doing that you're going to be hurting yourself more than those stupid small minded girls did.

often people like that cant handle the fact that attention is being taken away from them, and turn nasty. In that way, take it as a complement. Your show is so good that the only thing those people can do is criticise - they couldnt even hope to compete with you. whether or not ur fat - which ur not- is not the issue. the issue is that they are jealous, hurtfull people, who have to lash out because they can't do anything positive.

I'm really sorry that someone has put you thru this kind of pain, and I know just how much it can hurt. look around you, you've got a child that loves you, many many people here that respect you and look up to you, and i imagine a lot of friends who love you and look up to you. please dont let these people make you feel like anything less than the amazing and beautifull person that you are.

i had my first gig in a club last saturday, and i put in a hell of a lot of effort to get it all ready in time. and now the promoters arent paying me, simply because their bastards. it made me wonder why we put in all this effort and energy into our performances if its going to be thrown back in our faces. but one of the clubbers came up to me afterwards, and he wanted to give me 10, because he said i'd made his night out the best in years. just thinking about that makes me want to cry, it the most flatering and touching thing anyone has said to me. I'm sure you've had responses like that during your shows pele, and thats what makes it worth it. Spreading that bit of happines, and making people smile, the possibility of making someone forget their really bad week and be happy for that half hour - what your achieving every time you go onstage is so infinately amazing that you cant let some pricks stop that and make you unhappy.

it hurts me to think that your sitting at home crying or hurt on your own. if i could, i'd give you a very big hug. go to a firends house, or have a friend come round and have a big hug. remember that ur loved, and that u love.

im sorry, and i really hope that what ive said may help, even if only a bit.


May your staff spin fast and your Poi always miss your balls.



Location: Austria

Total posts: 102
Posted:hey pele
I know exactly how u are feeling. I am 30 and am just now starting to get comfy with the way i look. I never had trouble with bulimia (mostly because a verry good friend had it while i was at school and it scared the heck outa me). so here i am 30 with what doctors would say 15 kg too much and FINALLY i am starting to feel comfy with the way i look.

one thing it try to avoid as it inevitably makes me feel down is those stores that cater for small and x-small sizes.

*grin* i just bought my verry first pair of leather pants...teeeheeee wouldn't have dared doing that a few months ago but now 'hey i got a figure so i might as well show it off'. and the looks i get are somewhat gratifying;). so i have a few 'problem zones' shrug everybody has them i just have to learn not to be ultra-strict about myself.
one big eye opener was a friend of mine she is thin thin thin and has the type of figure u see in adds. but guess what she is wearing them cheat panty thingies that press in the tummy (not that she has a tummy to sperak off mind) and tights that 'model ' the legs. makes one wonder hmmm?
morgy round and proud of it;)

Out to Wrong Rights and Depress the Opressed.




Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.

Total posts: 1100
Posted:There is a much documented psychological phenominon known as 'Displacement Disorder'. It is really very common. Basicly it illustrates that people who make the cruel comments and cut-downs do just that to compensate for inadiquaceis that they see in themselves but refuse to acknowledge in a healthy manner.

So don't take it personally, they were most likely piss green with jealousy because, firstly, they also have issues with their wight and figure, and secondly that you have the confidence and poise to get up on stage, wearing not much and set your self on fire for the amusment of others. They felt that they had to knock you down so that they wouldn't feel so small.

So if you let all the stupid insecure people get you down then you are just feeding that green eyed insecurity demon, and worse you let those idiots boost their tatterd egos at your expense. No one should let that happen.

Anyway I hope you feel better


Jesus helps me trick people.


SILVER Member since Mar 2002


Location: Lancashire, UK

Total posts: 669
Posted:Pele - I know where your coming from, I am dealing with a lot of 'head' stuff at the moment (reason why I changed my online name from Marlboro, as I feel I've turned a major corner) including similar feeling comfortable with myself infront of others.
I just wanted to add and agree with all the comments already made. The girls are just deflecting their feelings on to you. But they are the ones doing that instead of dealing with their own 'head' stuff, where as you are the one taking the bull by the horns and facing your fear, something I'm taking slow steps towards.
More power to you!!

[ 28 April 2002, 12:03: Message edited by: FireMorphster ]





Total posts: 237
Posted:Charles got it in one Pele,

People give other people shit because they feel bad them selves. Bullies at school hassle smaller kids cause they feel it's the only way anyone will give them respect. Maybe cause their dad's push them around.

In the case of girls, the amount of thin propaganda forced down their throats is amazing. They give shit to hide from their own insecurity. If they call you fat and ugly the attention is on you and they don't get hassled them selves.

Pele I know what you look like. Your similar to girls I gone out with and girls I've been attracted to. Guys always like more curves (as psycological studies have shown). They're jealous cause your busty and talented. F### 'em. They're a movie of the week. A T-shirt at best

Don't forget you've got PWB too. If you were so ugly would he be attracted to you? Watch an episode of Springer. Now THAT'S ugly

Don't let young screw ball girls get the better of you and force you in to dangerous old thought patterns like ones associated with bulemia. You've obviously come too far to go back to that.

We luv ya

[ 28 April 2002, 16:33: Message edited by: BEZERKER ]


carnelian angel

Location: New York, NY, USA

Total posts: 31
Posted:pele...even though i've never seen you, i'm sure you're beautiful just from hearing your words, and even more so as a voluptuous fire goddess...i'm also pretty sure that any young girls cutting on you were jealous of how sexy you looked to their men, and how attrated they were to you, goddess with torches ablaze...i've battled with bulimia and with drugs-to-stay-skinny/anorexia(isn't it weird how thin you get eating only acid and a chocolate bar every day?) and currently do neither and i'm no longer under 25 and my metabolism has slowed and i'm about 10 pounds (30 in my head) overweight and live in a big city where everyone is toned and model-polished and walk around reminding myself how gross i look compared to these 3% body fat boys that seem to be everywhere...even though i am blessed with a beautiful lightbeing of a boyfriend i still doubt my beauty and no matter how many years pass, still aquaint it with my worth (thankfully not so often any more)...just lettin ya know i feel with you...........mila


SILVER Member since Jan 2002

100 characters max...
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Total posts: 2996
Posted:Hey sweetheart, please don't think that way. You are a beautiful person. Trust me when I say that it really doesn't have anything much to do with you. I will describe something which you may recognise:

There is a pretty girl standing next to a guy she fancies. She keeps glancing at him to see if he is looking at her. Suddenly she realises that his attention is elsewhere. She is hurt and offended, and probably a little jealous of whatever is holding his attention. So she goes back to her friends and complains. Now she can't complain that someone is not paying attention to her, because that would be petty. And it also kinda undermines her status as a beautiful woman, because as she sees it, her status is defined by how much attention people pay to her.

So she complains about what the guy is paying attention to (if you were a guy spinning fire she could rest assured that he was gay).

The worst thing is that you are a different type of beautiful to her (in her mind), and that is threatening. Because if he is paying attention to that kind of beautiful, then he can't like her type of beautiful (by her reasoning).

Her friends agree with everything she says, because they are mates, and they know she just really feels threatened and they want to protect her. So they do it the only way they know how, by attacking "the threat". (If you were a game of football that he was paying attention to, they would say "oh, what a stupid sport. Silly guys, always so interested in football", or something along those lines.)

The really sad thing is that the girl will probably go home, throw herself on her bed and cry her eyes out because she is "sooo ugly".

You have a much better sense of yourself than these girls do. You know your beauty is not based in others opinion of you. You waver sometimes, cos it is hard not to, but you have learnt the hard way about beauty. Take care of yourself, respect yourself, and know when you see your hands moving fire across the sky you are far more powerful than anything they can throw at you.


It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...



Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Total posts: 11
Posted:Pele I don't frequent the board as much as most, but I also have noticed that you are a strong, active, influencial person here. I don't think I've ever seen your picture but I KNOW you are not a cow. What everyone else has said is correct, the teasers have the problem, not you.

I honestly don't know what else to say except to believe in yourself. My girlfriend (if you read this sweetie I hope you don't mind) had an eating disorder when she was younger. Her health suffered greatly, not to mention the loss of friends and self respect she suffered. She is healthy and beautiful now, but still the weight demon sometimes looms into view.

Magazine covers are airbrushed, computer modified photographs of girls who are ill to begin with. Hollywood stars have makeup artists, personal trainers and strict diets to adhere to. They do not live normal lives, yet we judge ourselves by them anyway.

I sincerely wish there was something I could say or do to help people be more comfortable with their bodies. I really wish I could. When I hear of someone being teased, or even worse being disgusted by their own body I feel horrible, yet helpless. Nothing I say can change how a person feels. Perhaps my words will help, but at the end of the day I'm not the one facing the mirror. I can't say "I'm beautiful." for someone else, they have to say it themselves.

Pele, you have a lot of support right here. That's a fantastic thing. Take strength from that. The same goes for everyone else, male and female who feels the same way.

I hope that helps in some small way. I've seen how difficult it can be. I even understand it a bit myself.

- Kay O. Sweaver


BRONZE Member since Mar 2002

Location: Perth Australia

Total posts: 75
Posted:Hi Pele

I like others have mentioned here have read heaps of your posts and from that alone can tell that you are a truly beautiful and strong person. Every person I know that is beautiful deep down inside is also beautiful on the outside.
Similarly everyone i know that is nasty deep down are people that I don't like looking at.

Twirling in clothes that you didn't feel comfortable in is a fantastic achievement firstly! I don't have the courage to do that.

And as everyone else has mentioned those girls that commented were jealous! You would have had the attention of every guy in the place watching you twirl and move. As Sickpuppy mentioned Displacement disorder!

Society today has done so much damage. I'm not fat but I'm not skinny either. My boyfriend says I'm a healthy weight but I hate the way I am. Idon't think there is one girl I know that is happy to go down the beach and walk around in a bikini. As a result of society, media and shops dictating the size that women should be.

Please don't get depressed looking at those photos, Look at them and think of the acheivement of going there and twirling in front of a crowd in clothes that you didn't feel comfortable you did it!!

Smile and the whole world smiles with you




Oolering Man
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire

Total posts: 729
Posted:See it as their problem, not yours. I suffered with really bad bullying at school, I used to get beaten the hell out of, and then suspended for starting a fight, the teachers used to say 'you mean to tell us that <add tormentors name here> started a fight with you? but your bigger than them, they wouldn't do that' I used to hate it and no words from freinds saying these things would help me. Its only now I'm a little bit older and a little bit wiser, I realise the people that gave me this sort of support were right. Lets face it, when it boils down to it, if you get enjoyment from degrading, being nasty, causing physical or emotional pain, and just being downright nasty, you've got to be a pretty disfunctional, messed up sub-human creature. Just think of all the things that you've seen and appreciated, that people like that will never understand. Just think how much richer your life is than theirs. you've got to have a rather simple brain to get entertainment from badmouthing others. theres a maya angelou poem that would be kind of relevant right now (I think) cant remeber what its called though, the only line I remember is 'and still like air I rise' its about rising above hardship, and things along those lines.

'Higher higher burning fire lift Pele up above this mire'

hope all is getting better, love and hugs to you


BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

Location: Berlin, Germany

Total posts: 577
I know I'm new here and don't really know anyone, but I also know how you feel about being cut down over how you look. Just remember this - the people that spend all that time combing over every inch of you just find something to bitch about, it's usually because they're unable to look at themselves (if that makes any sense, I know it does in my head). Anyways, try focusing less on where you see yourself now and more on how far you've come. Dealing with Bulimia is no small task and I truly admire you for it. I had a very dear friend that had very severe Anorexia and I know how hard it is to get out of those kinds of things. It's very similar to addiction -trying to exert control over something you have no control over.
Besides, I've seen your website and trust me, as everyone else here has said, you have nothing to worry about. Still I know how we get attached to our self criticism and a million people can tell us we're awesome, yet we'll still believe that the one person that told us we suck knew better (Isn't that horrible and ironic when you think about it?). Look instead at all the things your body can do, rather than what it looks like. I bet none of those stupid, self absorbed girls have the amount of talent and courage in their whole bodies that you have in your little finger. You do something truly courageous and amazing and you do it with style and grace. Let that be the scale upon which you measure your self worth, rather than the one in your bathroom. And remeber that you are so much more than some physical appearance to be looked at and judged. Your a person of actual intelligence and depth and to give something like the size of your waist, hips, thighs, whatever so much more importance over those things is to do yourself a great dis-service.
Take good care of yourself and feel better.

Beauty is the conscious sum of all our perversions.-Salvador DaliHope without action is hopeless.


SILVER Member since Jan 2002

Do my poi look too small in this?
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Total posts: 394
Posted:Pele, you've gotten a lot of support from this board, and I hope you can overcome your insecurities. Having a supportive community like this will definitely help a lot too.. I know what its like to feel like the ugly duckling, I felt that way until fairly recently to be honest, and it comes back every once in a while..

Having comments from someone does hurt, but to me it makes me see how ugly the person saying things like that is on the inside.

Superficial is the word that comes to mind, and its an attitude thats applauded in north american high schools, and probably even more-so in the movie industries (which is where you were right?)

IMO, if you're going to go into an industry like movies you've got to be ready for that kind of under-handed, spiteful and thoughtless kind of stuff. Its where looking plastic is a good thing.. yay barbie.

Also, to me, if someone was to make a comment on my body while I am doing extraordinary object manipulation, in an artform that is VERY rare, even unheard of in most parts of your area.. Just remember that you got a job there with skills that didn't involve sleeping around with directors. I doubt most of these girls could say the same



Location: Hobart, Tasmania, Australia

Total posts: 249
Posted:mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwah! i know exactly how you feel. people laugh at me (seriously) when i tell them i want to be a circus performer as a career, so i started not telling anyone, when they asked id say i didnt know, but it just got annoying so whenever anyone laughs at me know i just know that at least ill be happy


BRONZE Member since Dec 2001


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:Can I echo what everyone else said? Rozi's point was very good.


If you'd be completely covered they'd have said nothing. But you really hit them when by appearing comfortable and slick in what you wearing and therefore appearing comfortable with your body without tummy tucks, bottom lifts, etc... and that's what a lot of people are jealous of - being comfortable without who you are.


SILVER Member since Apr 2002


Mumma Hen
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 6391
I am also new to the board but I wanted to let you know that I think it takes a lot of courage to stand up in front of a group of strangers and not only display what Im sure is a strong and healthy body, but also to twirl for other peoples entertainment... I have been teased about my weight since i was young and when I got very sick I put on 15 kilos which is a fair amount of weight since I am only little and short... I was very overweight and all the names under the sun were directed at me for a few reasons.Maybe the little girls felt comfertable teasing you to make themsleves feel bigger and more important..they were in a place of misplaced power... what kind of person takes someone elses personal power to make themselvs feel good? Maybe another reason is that they are jealous of how you could kick arse with fire and wanted to try to pull you down in a sad and spiteful way to make themsleves feel important as well... the best advise that I was ever given after I lost all that excess weight when I got better was.. "The body is just a vessel for getting from one place to another and for having fun with, remember always that your beautiful soul will shine through your eyes and speak to the hearts of other peoples souls no matter what size your body is".. remember that Pele because so many people speak so highly of you on this board and it is obvious to me even as a new comer that you are cherished and respected in the hearts of many... always meet the eyes of every person you encounter as you have a spirit to be proud of. And always be thankful for your health. I hope that helps even a little. May the angels help you to your feet when your wings have forgotten how to fly my friend, for you are also an earth angel... Love and light

TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"




Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:Pele, beautiful , beautiful Pele... I cannot beleive I missed that thread until now... probably cause I thought it was about animals or even zoophilic tendancies (you never know )

Anyway ...

pele... I agree with everything everyone said. I also think you are not only a beautiful soul but you also ARE pretty, physically PRETTY. But , as much as we can tell you that, you should beleive it yourself : it is not always easy to make peace with oneself...

I could comment on what those people did to you, I've had to deal with people making fun of how I look... close people, family even... I think when people (may I add "bitches" cause that would make me feel happy ) say and do such things, it hurts because it "rings bells", it brings back other issues, other people, other pains... much deeper ones...

I admire how you are doing everything you do to be good to yourself. THAT is your treasure... I just hope that you end up loving yourself as much as we do. And trust me, we do

And to all the others who posted here , or are reading this and sometimes feel this insecurity or this pain ... here are one thousand smiles and hugs to you

I don't know if I'll ever stop being ashamed of the way I look, or sometimes hating myself. learn to live with it seems the solution and then realize also that we are so damn lucky to love and be loved, to be alive...

when I'll have children, I can only wish that I succeed in giving them that peaceful love of themselves that I did not learn as a kid... I know you are doing such a great job at that with your son...

You are truely beautiful Pele, and even though one millions of our caring words will never completely restore what only you can restore, please remember that !!!!!


"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"



Location: leicester, england

Total posts: 167
Posted:...MASSIVE UK HUG...

lots of people judge on appearance, and ive had negative comments from people just about everywhere Ive been about one thing or another... ...poi people seem to be different tho'... they dont seem to care what youre wearing, how your hair looks, what you do, where youre from, etc., and its been a really refreshing time meeting people through Poi, staff, and everything fire... like most of the others who posted here, you are one of the people I looked up to when i started posting here, and still do...
i still have loads of friends from outside Poi, but those who won't accept me for 'me' have rapidly turned into aquaintances; i think its for the best... as long as you are happy with yourself, theres little reason to change...

PWB, post some of those pic's... I was thinking about decorating one of my bra-tops; this could be just the inspiration I need


you can take the cat out of the jungle, but you cant take the jungle out of the cat


Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California

Total posts: 2905
Posted:*Hopes this doesnt come off wrong* Please read the spirit of what I am saying and I am not being insensitive

Damnit Pele, you have got to be one of if no the smartest person I know (not that I really know you person to person). I have the most respect for you than any other member of the board here. You also know (and I know this because of how you act) that beauty is only skin deep. Now I am a goofie looking MoFo, and I still see myself as 20lbs too heavy, but my body has changed since boot, my shoulders have gotten bigger and so has my chest. You also know that you are older now and you have a son thus your body has changed you cant be super modle thin your whole life. I have seen some of your pictures, your not ugly or fat in fact I find you very attractive but if you think that some chicks out there who see you spinning and know that you have their "Mans" attention arnt gonna be pissed and say some mean things then your just wrong. Ignore them, yes entertain them but hell spin for yourself. Ignore the rest of the worlds opinion and be you. They are just jelous, dun worry about them spin for you.

I know we have had our differences and I have such an eleviated respect and admiration for you dont let some chick ruin what you love for you. Last but not least love who you are.

My last comment unless Pele says something to me directly.

Pele, I am actually angerd by those chicks hell if I was there I would let Scott Berry go three sheets to the winds and let Raymund Phule come out in all his fury at those chicks. I am sure that any person on this board would stick up for you just the same.

[ 02 May 2002, 00:48: Message edited by: Raymund Phule ]

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"


Fairy Lady

Location: fairieland

Total posts: 63
I am like many of the others. I have been reading your posts for ages now and taking it as a difinitive answer on fire. I visit your site all the time also and i must admit, you are a beautiful woman.
I have gone through the same as you. Anorexia in high school and a large weight gain in my early twenties. I have lost sixty pounds in the last year and everyone says I look great now. I have that little nagging voice that always says that i need to loose more weight, but my husband always points out that i am at the bottom of the chart for my height and I should not loose anymore.
The way I got over myself being self-conscience is that I was sorrounded by people who I knew would boost my ego the first time I went out and twirled in my skimpy leather outfit. Some didn't even know what a hard time I had been having and they kept giving me compliment after compliment and really boosted me up, and I think that is what you have here. All these poeple look up to you. I know I would not be trying body transfer if it was not for all the directions in the archives that you put in.
I also agree that women are very stupid sometimes. I think sometimes they see this beautiful, emigmatic fire woman and envy her, I know that was how I started. If you concentrate on the positive and go out there knowing what a beautiful person you are then whatever they say can't bring you down.
I also find myself trancing sometimes when I work with fire, I have been told that I can't hear people 5 feet away when the fire is around me, this might also work as a conditioning technique for you.
Bottom line is you are beautiful and remeber the old saying "I'm rubber your glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!" that always seemed to work for me back in the sandbox and still holds true. Sounds like a lot of people here think you are beautiful. And if you ever need an extra boost, you can e-mail me and I will give you a list of why you are a great person!


BRONZE Member since Mar 2001


Location: Houston, Texas, USA

Total posts: 829
Posted:I swaer to GOD!! i never knew you had a son!!! When the Hell did this happen? Where was I? Did you name him after me? How old is he?

But i thought id just let you know, i think yoose a damn sexy woman. And a strong one at that, mentally and physically.


Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.

- Mark Twain



Location: Southampton

Total posts: 382
Posted:I think that the responses I've read here are truly a beautiful tribute to Pele and a testament to the type of people in the HOP.

There is a great sense of enthusiasm, empathy and worldy wisdom here, and this ranges across age, gender and anything else.

It puzzles me sometimes that when I feel depressed or unconfident that I don't think about what attributes come with our hobby/profession, afterall it involves the confidence to perform in front of others, the independence to begin playing with what some regard as unusual toys, and essentially feeling a great sense of spiritual and physical awareness by manipulating and respecting in our own way one of the forces of nature.

If only everyone in the World could grasp that fine humanitarian understanding you read on this site well, I'm sure it'd be a better place.

Pele, take care and chin up, walk proudly down the streets of anonymity that are New York knowing you will always take us with you wherever you go and whatever you do. You may feel alone sometimes, but we've got your back!

One favourite quote of this site lends itself rather apporpriately to this.

"She dances in a ring of fire, and throws off the challenges with a shrug"

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words...



back from the dead...sort of
Location: 4341'N 7938'W

Total posts: 884
Posted:Pele, there's not much more I can say that hasn't been said already, but still, I want to let you know how much you mean to everyone on this board. Before I started posting I spent many hours perusing the archives, and I couldn't believe how many times this "Pele" character had posted kind and helpful messages to everyone that needed assistance. It really blew me away. I've never mentioned that to you, and I'd imagine there's a whackload of people out who have never done that either, even though you helped them in the same way you helped me. It's pretty safe to say that you matter to everyone on the board, whether you realize it or not.

And quite honestly the only that matters is how much you matter to other people. The girls who made comments were insecure and immature, and as hard as it might be to do so, just forget what they said. It was stupid and invalid.


SAPPHIRE Member since Nov 2003


HOP admin
Location: New Zealand

Total posts: 1040

You know how we fell about you. Goddess that you are.

Malcolm, Cherry & 7

May your balls always burn


BRONZE Member since Dec 2000


the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:I have been reading this all along, and have just been too stunned to reply. How do you reply to such an outpouring of love? No words could ever express the gratitude and tenderness I feel. No language seems to be able to describe the feeling that I am not alone in this. I can not say enough about the empathy I feel for those of you who feel the same as I, except to say that we no longer need to feel alone.
I also need to say how surprised I was at a few of the responses, that I not only received through here but email as well. There were a couple people who I truly thought did not care for me, for whatever reason, and the love and support they have shown has moved me. There are no words.
Thank you for the support, the love and the respect and know that it is returned a thousand fold to all of you.

And BTW, while your love helped, the pain still lingers, more because I hear her words with my voice in my head. Time, work and patience will conquer this, I know, but I am glad I have such a loving, amazing support group to turn to.

All my love and eternal gratitude....My cup runneth over...

Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK



Location: Rochester, NY, USA

Total posts: 442
Posted:Here are some pics:

Fire Eating 42 KB
Palming the fire 66 KB
Poi in front of a window 73 KB
Close-up with Poi 131 KB

Pele, Noah, & Pele'sWhippingBoy on Easter 95 KB

[ 05 May 2002, 02:26: Message edited by: Pele'sWhippingBoy ]

FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson


BRONZE Member since Dec 2000


the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:The close up with Poi doesn't look like me facially. It was one of those strange things....
but you can see the difference picture to picture....*shrug*

Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK



Location: USA

Total posts: 2
Posted:I had no intention of ever replying to anything. I don't spin, I just know people who do. I like the community here.

However, I know how Pele feels, how many of you feel and it ain't easy. It sucks. I feel bad for everyone who goes through this. No amount of ignoring or smiling makes you feel better inside.
That has to come from yourself.

Pele, I saw those pictures and I see you all over this board. You are really pretty. The pictures are really nice and seem to be an account of you talent and your looks. I'd date ya!
Stay strong and love yerself.




Location: Springfield, MO. USA

Total posts: 33
People suck. Thats just the way we are. I think after looking at your pics that you are a VERY attractive lady. Like everyone else on here has been saying; the people who were giving you sh!t are just jealous that they cant be that comfortable with themselves. I feel the same as you, not happy with the skin or face that god gave me but I make up for it by not giving a damn what others think. You have 2 things that most people dont: A son that loves you for you & PWB who also loves you for you. Thats all you need!! If people who dont know you wanna give you crap, then they are the ones who need to have pity for they dont know what they're missing.

-= Kender =-


Page: 12

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