Forums > Social Chat > dentistry: the 8th realm of hell!

as a child i remember the dentists as being quite fun. first of all you could play with the various bead on stick style toys in the waiting room and then the nice old lady would look in my mouth and occasionally brush it with a funny electric thing that felt all tingly and tasted nice. at the end you'd go home with a sticker saying things like 'must brush harder' and anyone who gives you free stickers can't be that bad can they?

then the stickers stop. you get introduced to the sicofant that is the orthodontist with his metal oral torture which keeps getting tighter and tighter and has to stay in for longer and longer. (when i first went he said it'd be only a year. try about 6 more like it as he milks your NHS piggy bank!) if you're really unlucky they start yanking your teeth out...

i still didn't mind going to the dentist though. recently however, i've learnt to afford him (new guy that rplaced the sweet old lady) the fear that he deserves. last year i was introduced to new levels of dental pain.

let me explain what this was. firstly my gums had become swollen (ok i admit i wasn't brushing very often). the answer to this was to cut them away with a scalpel, but before this could be acheived i first needed many many injections with a foot long anesthetic needle which ironically enough hurt so much it made my eyes water. even this only numbs your mouth as you feel the scalpel work around your teeth (which can still feel). then after much suction of blood, they cover your mouth with putty which stays there for a week like some kind of permanent deformed gumsheild.

ok. fair enough i thought, i'll only have to go through this once... wrong i went back to see my dentist earlier this week and this morning i've just had the same thing done again but luckily on a much smaller scale, which is why i'm writing this now. i've even been taking really good care of my teeth since the last time. hopefully i won't need it again. maybe i will. he told me about an old man he sees that for some unknown reason needs this every six months!

anyway, i'm not complaining, i know that most people in the world suffer a hell of a lot more than i ever do... and that pele's accident for example was a million times more painful. i just wanted to share this with you and see if anyone else has had similar fun with the clinical torture of dentistry. personally, from now on i'm always going to live in fear of the man in the white coat with the reclining chair!*


* he's actually a really nice guy that sings in jazz bands round London. it's just what he does that could earn him a work placement in the underworld.. (and yes i know it's all for my own good but i'm gonna have a moan anyway)

It is our fantasies that make us real. Without our fantasies we're just a blank monkey' - Terry Pratchett

"**grumble*spuriouswindmills*grumble**" - Coleman
"if poi was only for girls there wouldnt be many good poi spinners...." - Nx

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura

I live in a world of infinite possibilities.