Forums > Social Chat > ALI G - cruel but soooo funny!!!

Login/Join to Participate

--AuRIaN---member
69 posts
Location: uk, devon


Posted:
Hope this doesn't offend anyone!!
Got emailed this - thought it was hilarious...

This is an actual transcript of Ali G's interview with Elton John about
> >to
> > >be televised very soon....Elton John is trying to stop the broadcast -
> > >can't imagine why!
> > >
> > >* Ali G: Alo! I is ere wiv none uver dan da batty boy of pop, John
> > >Elton. Respect.
> > >*Elton John: It's Elton John actually Ali.
> > >* Ali G: Aiih, whatever. So John, is you always been a batty bocause I
> > >erd dat you woz once married - although I also erd dat da missus was
> > >mingin?
> > >*Elton John: Well Ali if you mean have I always been gay then probably
> > >deep down I was but maybe fought it because in my younger days
> > >especially it was not socially acceptable to be gay.
> > >* Ali G: Fer real, but when you was gettin' jiggy did you fink about
> > >people like James Dean and that Jonny Rottweiler who was tarzan so you
> > >wouldn't end up wiv a floppy or woz you trisexual and didn't care where
> > >you was stickin' Mr biggy?
> > >*Elton John: Again I probably fought hard to convince myself I wasn't
> > >gay so I never had a problem maintaining an erection with women. I now
> > >know I am homosexual so I would probably struggle to get aroused with a
> > >woman now.
> > >*Ali G: Wow, I fink I might be homosexual then cause Mr biggy wasn't
> > >coming out to play last Saturday night although ma Julie says it woz coz
> > >I drank bottle of Dan Jackiels and had about 6 spliffs. I fink it woz
> > >coz me Julie isn't very subtractive now in fact she's a dog.
> > >*Elton John: I think you're Julie was right - it takes one to know one.
> > >* Ali G: Wot, is you saying me Julie is a batty boy? Nah, the b*tch
> > >won't take it up the exit hole, I've tried slipping it in a few times.
> > >Happarently Julie is too nice a girl for batty sex.
> > >* Elton John: Well a lot of women are not keen on an*l s*x just as I
> > >know some gay men who are not keen on it either. Just because you're gay
> > >doesn't mean that you have to like it - there are other ways to express
> > >yourself sexually with another man.
> > >* Ali G: Eh? Like fellatilatio you mean or gaelic.
> > >*Elton John: Gaelic?
> > >* Ali G: Aiih, gaelic. When batty boys lick each other.
> > >* Elton John: Sure, oral s*x is one way of pleasing a lover but sensual
> > >massage can be very enjoyable for example.
> > >*Ali G: But dat is a bit rank innit - ah mean you need to lose you're
> > >orange juice or what is da point? Anyways enough talk about homosapiens
> > >- I hear dat you spend killions of dosh every year on shopping. Is dat
> > >because you is a feminist?
> > >*Elton John: I do spend a lot of money on shopping yes but I wouldn't
> > >describe myself as a feminist.
> > >* Ali G: But I thought dat all gay people were feminists?
> > >* Elton John: Eh?
> > >* Ali G: Chill. Anyway, is you related to dat lefty comedian Ben Elton
> > >cause I fink he is rank.
> > >*Elton John: No, I told you before my name is Elton John and not John
> > >Elton.
> > >* Ali G: Cool, woz your parents spaced out when dey named you?
> > >*Elton John: No, that's not my real name but my stage name.Many
> > >performers change their names to try to sound more appealing to the
> > >public. Take Gary Glitter for example, his name is really Paul Gadd -
> > >can you imagine the same guy selling so many records as Paul Gadd or me
> > >as Reg Dwight?
> > >* Ali G: Nah, but I can imagine him taking some poor kiddies up the Gary
> > >Glitter coz he's a paedovile innit. Anyways, talkin of sickos how's yer
> > >mate George Michael - I would never let my son go down on him the
> > >preverted b*stard.
> > >* Elton John: OK so George made a mistake - anyway I thought you said *
> > >enough of the gay talk. I'd much rather you concentrated on another
> > >aspect of me.
> > >* Ali G: Me know what you is saying, sorry Mr Elton. OK then, does you
> > >not fink dat you looks rank wearing a wig? Ah mean you looked a total
> > >dick in the seventies wiv da shades but everyone looked like dicks in da
> > >seventies.
> > >*Elton John: If you're going to insult me any more I will walk out of
> > >the interview - I can put up with a lot but you're going too far.
> > >* Ali G: Chill Johnny, no offence. OK - you re-wrote dat Candle in the
> > >Wind song when Princess Di got wasted, do you fink she was incinerated
> > >by da SAS on da Queens orders or do you fink it woz just down to dat
> > >pissed French c*nt.
> > >*Elton John: Really Ali, Princess Diana was a very dear personal friend
> > >of mine whom I loved very much - I don't want to discuss it.
> > >* Ali G: You loved her, but how could you if you is a batty boy? Is she
> > >a femisist or somefink?
> > >*Elton John: (Elton leaves the room)
> > >*Ali G: Nil respect to da menstral batty boy of pop - some people is
> > >just too sensidine. It must be all da years hangin wiv dem homosapiens
> > >and havin his batty bashed. Anyways I is off for some erbal remedy wiv
> > >me boyz westside.
> > >*Boyakasha!

arashiPooh-Bah
2,364 posts
Location: austin,tx


Posted:
you just made my day

-Such a price the gods exact for song: to become what we sing
-Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.
-When the center of the storm does not move, you are in its path.


SickpuPpyNinja Rockstar!
1,100 posts
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.


Posted:
Brilliant!

Jesus helps me trick people.


phunkyold hand
877 posts
Location: Edmonton, AB


Posted:
poor John Elton... err Elton John.

[ 17 April 2002, 12:51: Message edited by: -@- ]

Bender_the_OffenderGOLD Member
still can't believe it's not butter
6,978 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
hehh ehh good to know that there are fellow conesseuirs of fine Ali Humour at HoP!
to the Ali nutz here, a point to note is that Ali is referring to the lawsuit over this interview when he says to Becks that can't say the term 'Batty' on air anymore ^_^
On the subject of Becks, I is heard (from this week's Time magazine) that the Sun Tabloid Rag has like a prayer page for everyone to heal his bunged metatarsals up - man we take our football here seriously, but not THAT seriously! Phwaor Sally Stevens learnt that lesson the hard way!
I make no sence today.

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always


fireboyAn angry young man with a passon for metal
252 posts
Location: Wagga Wagga, N.S.W, Australia


Posted:
I cna t understand a word that ali say in that script oh well
fireboy

Fireboy

<<SINister miNISister>>
remeber kids jesus slaves



Similar Topics Server is too busy. Please try again later. No similar topics were found
      Show more..

HOP Newsletter

Sign up to get the latest on sales, new releases and more...