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Forums > Social Chat > ALI G - cruel but soooo funny!!!

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Location: uk, devon
Member Since: 15th Apr 2002
Total posts: 69
Posted:Hope this doesn't offend anyone!!
Got emailed this - thought it was hilarious...

This is an actual transcript of Ali G's interview with Elton John about
> >to
> > >be televised very soon....Elton John is trying to stop the broadcast -
> > >can't imagine why!
> > >
> > >* Ali G: Alo! I is ere wiv none uver dan da batty boy of pop, John
> > >Elton. Respect.
> > >*Elton John: It's Elton John actually Ali.
> > >* Ali G: Aiih, whatever. So John, is you always been a batty bocause I
> > >erd dat you woz once married - although I also erd dat da missus was
> > >mingin?
> > >*Elton John: Well Ali if you mean have I always been gay then probably
> > >deep down I was but maybe fought it because in my younger days
> > >especially it was not socially acceptable to be gay.
> > >* Ali G: Fer real, but when you was gettin' jiggy did you fink about
> > >people like James Dean and that Jonny Rottweiler who was tarzan so you
> > >wouldn't end up wiv a floppy or woz you trisexual and didn't care where
> > >you was stickin' Mr biggy?
> > >*Elton John: Again I probably fought hard to convince myself I wasn't
> > >gay so I never had a problem maintaining an erection with women. I now
> > >know I am homosexual so I would probably struggle to get aroused with a
> > >woman now.
> > >*Ali G: Wow, I fink I might be homosexual then cause Mr biggy wasn't
> > >coming out to play last Saturday night although ma Julie says it woz coz
> > >I drank bottle of Dan Jackiels and had about 6 spliffs. I fink it woz
> > >coz me Julie isn't very subtractive now in fact she's a dog.
> > >*Elton John: I think you're Julie was right - it takes one to know one.
> > >* Ali G: Wot, is you saying me Julie is a batty boy? Nah, the b*tch
> > >won't take it up the exit hole, I've tried slipping it in a few times.
> > >Happarently Julie is too nice a girl for batty sex.
> > >* Elton John: Well a lot of women are not keen on an*l s*x just as I
> > >know some gay men who are not keen on it either. Just because you're gay
> > >doesn't mean that you have to like it - there are other ways to express
> > >yourself sexually with another man.
> > >* Ali G: Eh? Like fellatilatio you mean or gaelic.
> > >*Elton John: Gaelic?
> > >* Ali G: Aiih, gaelic. When batty boys lick each other.
> > >* Elton John: Sure, oral s*x is one way of pleasing a lover but sensual
> > >massage can be very enjoyable for example.
> > >*Ali G: But dat is a bit rank innit - ah mean you need to lose you're
> > >orange juice or what is da point? Anyways enough talk about homosapiens
> > >- I hear dat you spend killions of dosh every year on shopping. Is dat
> > >because you is a feminist?
> > >*Elton John: I do spend a lot of money on shopping yes but I wouldn't
> > >describe myself as a feminist.
> > >* Ali G: But I thought dat all gay people were feminists?
> > >* Elton John: Eh?
> > >* Ali G: Chill. Anyway, is you related to dat lefty comedian Ben Elton
> > >cause I fink he is rank.
> > >*Elton John: No, I told you before my name is Elton John and not John
> > >Elton.
> > >* Ali G: Cool, woz your parents spaced out when dey named you?
> > >*Elton John: No, that's not my real name but my stage name.Many
> > >performers change their names to try to sound more appealing to the
> > >public. Take Gary Glitter for example, his name is really Paul Gadd -
> > >can you imagine the same guy selling so many records as Paul Gadd or me
> > >as Reg Dwight?
> > >* Ali G: Nah, but I can imagine him taking some poor kiddies up the Gary
> > >Glitter coz he's a paedovile innit. Anyways, talkin of sickos how's yer
> > >mate George Michael - I would never let my son go down on him the
> > >preverted b*stard.
> > >* Elton John: OK so George made a mistake - anyway I thought you said *
> > >enough of the gay talk. I'd much rather you concentrated on another
> > >aspect of me.
> > >* Ali G: Me know what you is saying, sorry Mr Elton. OK then, does you
> > >not fink dat you looks rank wearing a wig? Ah mean you looked a total
> > >dick in the seventies wiv da shades but everyone looked like dicks in da
> > >seventies.
> > >*Elton John: If you're going to insult me any more I will walk out of
> > >the interview - I can put up with a lot but you're going too far.
> > >* Ali G: Chill Johnny, no offence. OK - you re-wrote dat Candle in the
> > >Wind song when Princess Di got wasted, do you fink she was incinerated
> > >by da SAS on da Queens orders or do you fink it woz just down to dat
> > >pissed French c*nt.
> > >*Elton John: Really Ali, Princess Diana was a very dear personal friend
> > >of mine whom I loved very much - I don't want to discuss it.
> > >* Ali G: You loved her, but how could you if you is a batty boy? Is she
> > >a femisist or somefink?
> > >*Elton John: (Elton leaves the room)
> > >*Ali G: Nil respect to da menstral batty boy of pop - some people is
> > >just too sensidine. It must be all da years hangin wiv dem homosapiens
> > >and havin his batty bashed. Anyways I is off for some erbal remedy wiv
> > >me boyz westside.
> > >*Boyakasha!


Location: austin,tx
Member Since: 21st Mar 2002
Total posts: 2363
Posted:you just made my day

-Such a price the gods exact for song: to become what we sing
-Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.
-When the center of the storm does not move, you are in its path.


Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.
Member Since: 27th Nov 2001
Total posts: 1100

Jesus helps me trick people.

old hand
Location: Edmonton, AB
Member Since: 30th Jul 2001
Total posts: 877
Posted:poor John Elton... err Elton John.

[ 17 April 2002, 12:51: Message edited by: -@- ]

still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 14th Nov 2001
Total posts: 6979
Posted:hehh ehh good to know that there are fellow conesseuirs of fine Ali Humour at HoP!
to the Ali nutz here, a point to note is that Ali is referring to the lawsuit over this interview when he says to Becks that can't say the term 'Batty' on air anymore ^_^
On the subject of Becks, I is heard (from this week's Time magazine) that the Sun Tabloid Rag has like a prayer page for everyone to heal his bunged metatarsals up - man we take our football here seriously, but not THAT seriously! Phwaor Sally Stevens learnt that lesson the hard way!
I make no sence today.

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

An angry young man with a passon for metal
Location: Wagga Wagga, N.S.W, Australia
Member Since: 23rd Dec 2000
Total posts: 252
Posted:I cna t understand a word that ali say in that script oh well


<<SINister miNISister>>
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