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colemanSILVER Member
big and good and broken
7,330 posts
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay, United Kingdom


Posted:
hilarious internet humour or xenophobic jibe at the united states military - decide for yourself.

personally, i've been laughing my arse off to this all morning ubblol


Skippy's List

Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't allowed to do. He collected those things into a hilarious list and posted them to the web. The site hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it.

213 THINGS SKIPPY HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY ORDERED NOT TO DO BY THE US ARMY:

1. Not allowed to watch South Park when I'm supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.
9. Not allowed to title any product 'Get Over it'.
10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time.
11. Not allowed to join the communist party.
12. Not allowed to join any militia.
13. Not allowed to form any militia.
14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to 'Sic Brass!'
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'.
17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous 'Barbie Girl Dance' while on duty.
19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.
20. Must not taunt the French any more.
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
22. Must never call an SAS a 'Wanker'.
23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.
24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true.
25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
26. Never tell a German soldier that 'We kicked your ass in World War 2!'
27. Don't tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
28. Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker')
36. Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over).
37. Our medic is called 'Sgt Larwasa', not 'Dr. Feelgood'.
38. Our supply Sgt is 'Sgt Watkins' not 'Sugar Daddy'.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
40. I do not have super-powers.
41. 'Keep on Trucking' is *not* a psychological warfare message.
42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in recruitment posters.
43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
45. I am not allowed to 'Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddies little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies'.
46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for 'magic beans'.
50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
51. Not allowed to quote 'Dr Seuss' on military operations.
52. Not allowed to yell 'Take that Cobra' at the rifle range.
53. Not allowed to quote 'Full Metal Jacket ' at the rifle range.
54. 'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.
55. An order to 'Put Kiwi on my boots' does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to 'Make my Boots black and shiny' does not involve electrical tape.
57. The proper response to a lawful order is not 'Why?'
58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
60. ‘The Giant Space Ants' are not at the top of my chain of command.
61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean ‘I have been promoted three more times than you'.
62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
66. There is no ‘Anti-Mime' campaign in Bosnia.
67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to ‘Block out the space mind control lasers'.
69. May not pretend to be a fascist storm trooper, while on duty.
70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
73. No military functions are to be performed ‘Skyclad'.
74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.
75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
76. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence.
77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
78. I may not call block my chain of command.
79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.
81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.
82. May not form any press gangs.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...."
84. Must not use military vehicles to ‘Squish' things.
85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.
86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the ‘field of honor'.
87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as ‘Mom'.
89. Must not refer to the Commander as ‘Dad'.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony ‘Romper Bomper Stomper Boo' is probably not appropriate.
93. Nerve gas is not funny.
94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.
96. ‘Redneck Zombies' is not a military training aid.
97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.
98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not ‘Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.'
99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war".
103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a ‘Cool Mint’ Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.
106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.
107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.
108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.
110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.
111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.
112. When saluting a ‘leg’ officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh...sorry sir".
113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from ‘Full Monty’ every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".
114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
116. Crucifying mice - bad idea.
117. Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography.
118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires - therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
119. I cannot arrest children for being rude.
120. An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.
121. I should not use government resources to ‘waterproof’ dirty magazines.
122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
127. ‘No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages’ does not imply that a Jack Daniel’s ® IV is acceptable.
128. "Shpadoinkle" is not a real word.
129. The Microsoft ® ‘Dancing Paperclip’ is not authorized to countermand any orders.
130. ‘I’m drunk’ is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
132. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
133. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.
135. An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.
136. Shouting ‘Let’s do the village! Let’s do the whole [censored] village!’ while out on a mission is bad.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
139. Must not teach interpreters how to make "MRE" bombs.
140. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove ‘The Pen is Mightier than the sword’.
142. 'Calvin-Ball' is not authorized PT.
143. I do not need to keep a 'range card' by my window.
144. 'K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free' is not an authorized uniform.
145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke ®.
148. Putting red 'Mike and Ike's' ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.
150. On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.
151. The proper way to report to my Commander is 'Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir' not 'You can't prove a thing!'
152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light ® batteries.
153. I should not assign new privates to 'guard the flight line'.
154. Shouldn't treat 'piss-bottles' with extra-strength icy hot.
155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.
156. I will no longer perform 'lap-dances' while in uniform.
157. If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.
158. The revolution is not now.
159. When detained by MP's, I do not have a right to a strip search.
160. No part of the military uniform is edible.
161. Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.
162. Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.
163. Take that hat off.
164. There is no such thing as a were-virgin.
165. I do not get 'that time of month'.
166. No, the pants are not optional.
167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
169. Not even if they *are* 'especially patriotic films'
170. Not allowed to 'defect' to OPFOR during training missions.
171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the General's helicopter.
172. 'A full magazine and some privacy' is not the way to help a potential suicide.
173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
174. Furby ® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it's actually DOD policy).
175. We do not 'charge into battle, naked, like the Celts'.
176. Any device that can crawl across the table on medium, does not need to be brought into the office.
177. I am not to refer to a formation as 'the boxy rectangle thingie'.
178. I am not 'A lesbian trapped in a man's body'.
179. On Army documents, my race is not 'Other'.
180. Nor is it 'Secretariat, in the third'.
181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.
182. There is no FM for 'wall-to-wall counseling'.
183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®
184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something 'I saw in a cartoon'.
185. My name is not a killing word.
186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
188. May not challenge officers to 'Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn'.
189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.
190. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty.
191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
192. The proper response to a briefing is not 'That's what you think'.
193. The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.
194. Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
195. Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.
197. I am not allowed to sing 'Henry the VIII I am' until verse 68 ever again.
198. Not allowed to lead a 'Coup' during training missions.
199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I 'just happen' to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.
202. Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the "Safety Dance" and the "Safety Briefing" are never to be combined.
203. 'To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.
204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration."
205. Don't write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged")
206. Not allowed to get shot.
207. The Chicken and Rice MRE is *not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.)
208. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civilians who are "hearing conversations" from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.
209. An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness *only*. (Also not a Skippy-ism...this was the same dinner.)
210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.
211. Don't ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Black Hawk Down.
212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don't have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.
213. Do not convince NCO's that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites

"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood


alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees


Posted:
Written by: coleman


biggrin hahahahaha i loved these ones..........

124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.

and........

145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.




Sporkyaddict
663 posts
Location: Glasgow


Posted:
The Calvinball one had me in stitches

Have faith in what you can do and respect for what you can't


clarence_quackSILVER Member
QuackerJack
1,927 posts
Location: over your left shoulder, Australia


Posted:
Written by: coleman


53. Not allowed to quote 'Full Metal Jacket ' at the rifle range.
76. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence.





Is it bad that I actually tried these two while staying at RAAF Williams?

Nutella Brigade Unite!

"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge

Owned By Steaks


HavokistBRONZE Member

2,530 posts
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom


Posted:
i thought that seeing as the skippy list is up, i may aswell post the friends of skippy list biggrin

1. Laxative is not to be liquified and injected into the LT's jelly via small syringe.
2. Porno magazines are not the proper FM's to show your PLT SGT/OC.
3. Cherry privates are not to check for soft spots in armor or get exhaust samples.
4. Rangers are not to be refered to as the guys in the funny black hats (tan hats now).
5. The LT is not "my bitch".
6. CID is not to be refered to as "the crookedest [censored] in the division".
7. Privates are not to be told about their MRE's "chicken and rice huh, one time I found a beak in mine".
8. Beef frankfurters are not "baby dicks or Iraqi fingers".
9. When a SAS member says "I need a fag", you are not to say "You sick [censored] I thought you guys were real men!"
10. When waiting for everyone to turn sensitive items and be released from the unit after returning from the woods thou shall not say "Has anyone seen my (choose)bolt/bayonet/weapon/nods/pluggers/pyro?"
11. Do not attempt to shave with fire.
12. Do not throw snowballs at helicopters- if you do, do not hit the windscreen.
13. Playing ‘Commander Pinball’ in the hatch of a 113 can only be won if you render him unconscious. He should not be aware of this rule.
14. The point of raking dirt in front of the HQ building is to teach you the error of your ways- not to create a zen rock garden.
15. Your rifle may not be set to stun.
16. Olde English is not appropriate for any military form or document.
17. At the grenade launcher range, do not yell "M-203, I choose you!"
18. Do not challenge SERE grads to play hide-and-seek.
19. May not conduct live fire exercises at the general's (unattended) jeep, even if it’s parked in an area clearly marked as "Live Fire Zone".
20. Do not glue magnets to LT’s compass’s.
21. Must not get CO a subscription to gay porn.
22. Do not leave cat food under CO’s hammock.
23. Left-handed torque wrenches do not exist.
24. Toy guns during a heightened state of alert/national crisis tend to overexcite security personnel. Particularly when they are in the process of breaching your room.
25. ".50 caliber machineguns, M1A1 Abrams tanks, destroyers, Chinese hookers, and small guys named Bob to take care of our vehicles" cannot be purchased on the OPTAR. One must route a special request chit first.
26. All special request chits require a written clarification as to why the item is desired.
27. In order to ensure smooth transition of a special request chit, it is best to advice your chain of command verbally before you attempt to order a $47,000 tank.
28. Especially when you are a naval unit.
29. If you are going to take your military vehicle into the local herd of livestock, it is critical to do as much damage as is conceivable. Remember, less than 6 is your fault. More than 6 is the herders fault, and if there was a fence in the way it doesn't mean jack [censored] to a military tribunal.
30. Screaming "Kill them all and let God sort them out" while executing 28 is acceptable. Most herders don't speak English anyway.
31. Whenever the phrase "Is this crap flammable?" is heard, RUN. 9 for 10, the source of that phrase already has their zippo burning and is finding out.
32. Advising the gate guard that you left your thermonuclear warhead in your other backpack is never a good idea.
33. Apparently, dereliction of duty cannot only be interpreted by the one who's derelicting their duty. Seems EVERYONE has an opinion they need to share when this happens. I mean, if you don't KNOW what your duty is, how can you be derelict in it?
34. BAH/OHA can only be authorized for places of RESIDENCE. The address of the local bar is not valid for OHA/BAH purposes. Even if the owner will cut you a lease.
35. The greatest weapon we can inflict on the enemy is NOT dropping a schoolbus full of retarded children on them.
36. Combining blanks and cleaning rods in the M16A2 rifle is not an acceptable means of acquiring "meat for the tribe." It should be noted it's a bitch unpinning a squirrel from a tree and you NEVER get your cleaning rod back.
37. Scorpions should never be sources of gambling, regardless of how cool it is when you trap two in an M-60 ammo can and let them fight it out to the death UFC style.
38. Specifically related to the above, betting on anything but the little clear guy makes you by default either a LOSER or a MARINE.
39. Specifically related to the above, once you realize that the little clear guy is obviously the most deadly of the scorpions indigenous to the Middle East, carrying a "winner" around on your shoulder as a parrot is not a bright idea.
40. It is advisable to LEARN to drive a vehicle, before claiming to be able to do so. Particularly in the case of anything that can achieve flight.
41. Gonasyphaherpaloids is not a real disease.
42. Voices in your head do not constitute lawful orders.
43. Do not try to mind-meld with your 1SG.
44. Do not attempt to place subliminal messages on the power point slides.
45. Grenades are not kept in the company refrigerator and they do not spoil over time if not used after they come out of the container.
46. Never require the host nation personnel to refer to you as "sire". And do not have the interpreter refer to you as "excellency".
47. Indigeneous personnel are not required to kneel before you.
48. "Pax Americana" is not a proper slogan for any deployment OCONUS.
49. "Rape, kill, pillage, and burn" are not annexes to the OPORD.
50. Pillaging is not an operational phase.
51. American soldiers do not "consume the flesh of their fallen enemies to gain their strength."
52. Do not attempt to communicate with officers using only Madonna lyrics.
53. Not allowed to use 27 packs of post it notes to label everything in the barracks so the General won’t have any questions during the inspection.
54. "I was cold" is a bad reason to be in the female barracks.
55. The cord on the blinds can not be used to rappel. (See above.)
56. Not allowed to use an e-tool on the golf course.
57. Cutting the uppers and lowers of CMSG rank doesn’t make you a Command Private Major.
58. Temporary insanity is not a good excuse for missing PT.
59. Do not throw up during PT, no mater how much Tequila was involved.
60. Do not use chemlights to mark a runway for the aliens.
61. Never tell a military pilot "There’s not enough room to fly under that!", unless you want him to try.
62. Do not yell "Fire in the hole!" while your buddies are handling live ordinance, no matter how funny the look on their face.
63. Trading C-rats for cigarettes and beer is not "Building host-nations relations."
64. One should not enter the words "Gross Stupidity" in a military flight/maintenance log. Same goes for "Pilot Malfunction".
65. Telling paratroopers that "only fools jump out of perfectly good airplanes" just makes them mad. Explaining why only makes it worse.
66. When ordering supplies, "buttload", "assload", "shitload", "a little bit", or "whatever you feel like giving me", are not numbers.
67. Do not mix fake fangs and dress inspections.
68. Do not run up to refueling helicopters with a squeegee and a bucket, and ask for a dollar to wash their windows.
69. Do not say "Oops" when working with explosives, just to be funny.
70. It’s funny when Robin Williams speaks only in acronyms. It’s not when we do it.
71. Do not put decaf in the 1SG’s coffee pot.
72. Halon fire suppression systems do not need "Live testing".
73. Knocking down targets with snowballs on the 9mm range is not helping.
74. CS grenades should not be used to mark drop zones.
75. Do not transport lingerie in open containers.
76. The morgue is not for storing beer.
77. A coffin is not a footlocker.
78. If it’s shaped like a coffin, then it’s a coffin, dammit.
79. Not allowed to pole dance while on fire guard.
80. Do not make bikinis out of military supplies.

We are the music makers, We are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers, On whom the pale moon gleams;
We are the movers and shakers of the world for ever, it seems.


alien_oddityCarpal \'Tunnel
7,193 posts
Location: in the trees


Posted:
haha nice one havok, here's a few of my favorites


14. The point of raking dirt in front of the HQ building is to teach you the error of your ways- not to create a zen rock garden.


53. Not allowed to use 27 packs of post it notes to label everything in the barracks so the General won’t have any questions during the inspection


66. When ordering supplies, "buttload", "assload", "shitload", "a little bit", or "whatever you feel like giving me", are not numbers.

68. Do not run up to refueling helicopters with a squeegee and a bucket, and ask for a dollar to wash their windows.

74. CS grenades should not be used to mark drop zones.

Nephtysresident fridge magnet
835 posts
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands


Posted:
ubblol

Home of Skippy

everyone's unique except me


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Written by:



27. In order to ensure smooth transition of a special request chit, it is best to advice your chain of command verbally before you attempt to order a $47,000 tank.
28. Especially when you are a naval unit.





ubblol

Altho I liked the rock garden part too....

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


ilsanyamanic over a fence
798 posts
Location: Tas, Aus


Posted:
Funny shizite!
Even my sciece teacher laughed!

Quid Pro Quo
5|>00|\|5 /-\|^3 <00|!


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
I seem to be making a yearly bump of this ubbrollsmile

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


rin_666SILVER Member
enthusiast
223 posts
Location: cambridge, United Kingdom


Posted:
204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration."

I was actually rolling on the floor laughing at this one

GitasGuyPooh-Bah
2,303 posts
Location: Brisbane


Posted:
Wow they are really funny ubblol ubblol ubblol

:admires giant wooden aeroplane: Its about time trees were good for something, instead of just standing their like jerks!!! ubblol ubbtickled

Homer rocks!!!! ubblol ubbrollsmile


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  1. Forums > uncle sam says no to skippy [41 replies]

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