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Forums > Social Chat > A poem of my past... tell me your thoughts...

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arsn
arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 1903
Posted:This was when I was in a part of my life which Alot of others have been, tell me what you think, if you don't mind...I'm going to paint a picture,A picture with a twist.I'll paint it with a razor blade,I'll paint it on my wrist.And if I paint that picture right,A fountain will appear.And with that streaming fountain,All my problems will disappear...I just wished to share a piece of me to you all... Hope you liked it...

I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men


arsn
arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 1903
Posted:Here's one of my love poems... for all you ladies out... (heeheehee)I never really knew you,You were just another friend.But when I got to know you,I let my heart unbend.I couldn't help past memories,That would only make me cry.But I had to forget my first lov,And give love another try.So I've fallen in love with you,I just only had to say.I will never stop loving you,each and everyday...Again, I hoped you all liked this one aswell... BY the way, I need some help,I just meet this girl, and I think I really like her... You see it's been awhile since I've been in the dating game... Any support would be great... please...

I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men


arsn
arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 1903
Posted:By the way, I just wanted to say to Spiral and Organized_kaos, that I love your work, I really like Unfinished Conclusion, I had a picture of the events of that party running in my head, and the pain you would have gone through not know if you could talk to her, hug her or kiss her... even as you remember that one night of love that you shared... I'm sorry it never worked...

I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men


Kyrian
Dreamer
Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:I have now taken the time to go through and read a little more carefully.... so my ranodm thoughts, if any of you care :Pfirst of all, i really like your little love poem cantus, i don't knwo why in particular, it's just got a nice ring to it.then there is unfinished conclusion. that one is really good. a little disturbing to me, the one that always disapeers (perhaps by moving halfway across teh country, although that's only happened twice). But a really good poem, thank you chaos!I like the spirit behind angel unseen, i agree with it
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I'm not a big fan of the poem itself, but personal choice, eh?I've been strangely motivated to put some of my own work up.... I can't get at some of it cause it's saved on disk in a program this pc doesn't have.... but here's a little bit, my turn to play the thread hog
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**Child of the shadowsbreathing softly, you know the underworldthe boy from the light is not yoursit is not for you to drag him downit is not for you to be lifted upChild of the shadowswalking alone in the rain, you know the dark sidethe boy from the light does not come hereit is not for you to bring him to this placeit is not for you to leave this worldChild of the shadowsrunning through the forest, you know where the stars dont shinethe boy from the light will not learn thatit is not for you to teach himit is not for you to forgetChild of the shadowswhispering, you know the dark languagesthe boy from the light does not hear themit is not for you to accentuate them for himit is not for you to become deaf to themChild of the shadowscrying in the night, you know the pain of darknessthe boy from the light does not have toit is not for you to show himit is not for him to comfort you**Another Sleepless Nightwhat the mind knew once back thenthe average mind can know againshe's staring softly into spacewishing she were some other placesoftly are the snowflakes fallingbut she does not hear the callingonly hearing silent screamingso she cannot wake from dreamingsomewhere else her mind has traveledlike her body, quite unraveledso she hopes, whispers, and praysshe can forget this all someday****Whisper secrets to meI can see how far you have comeIf not for all you left undone,Id say youre perfectDance and play in the rainLet it wash away the sorrowIf I dont see you tomorrowId say youre happyRunning in the oceanLeave your cares flung out behind youIf I thought youd always been trueId say youre nobleHug me and cry with meI can see your desprate pain stillIf that look werent out the windowId say you still caredWalk on down the aisleIm watching you take every stepIf I couldnt see your regretId say goodbye lovesorry i don't have anything happier, meybe i'll find some at some point
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kudos to all those who are sharing with us
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*the edit was cause i messed up the copying. oops*
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[This message has been edited by Kyrian (edited 01 April 2002).]


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


falloutboy
falloutboy

remember
Location: Melbourne, Australia, Earth, M...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 433
Posted:Hey, all the poetry here is great.. very impressive!This is (almost) the closest i've come to writing any poetry.. an image i made for my girlfriend a few days before i moved away and we broke up..
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[click to see big version]... it kind of just seemed to fit in with this thread[This message has been edited by falloutboy (edited 02 April 2002).]


-As angels debate chance and fate-
i was riding through melbourne on a midget giraffe, things were peachy.


Organized Kaos
member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada
Member Since: 20th Dec 2001
Total posts: 238
Posted:Thanx a lot Arsn...I'm excited to hear some of your workI finally dug up a love poem I wrote to a girlfriend awhile ago,,,we went out long distance for about 3-4 months and then things just went horribly wrongbut heres the poem I wrote to her (I added the last stanza in after we broke up, she never saw it...)I cannot understand how it isYou've gotten me this wayNow my minds filled with thoughts of youjust another girl on the street, an angel I didn't know.We met on a friday night,I didn't have the forsight,to see what happened with us wasn't tragic,and now being with you is pure magic.I dont see how I deserve all of your lovebut like flying on the wings of an angel, you have taken me aboveI never thought I'd find a girl to bring true happiness to meIt was locked up before, but you hold the keyYou might live so far awayBut your face sits in my mind every day,As I imagine your touch or your kissyou don't understand how much I missthose walks alone with you at nightand how you held me and told me it's gonna be alrightI never thought things would end this waymy angel fell, my rose lost it's petalsAnd you were goneand I was left alone in my bedand although you still live far awaymy arms feel emptier than they ever have before...Thats one of my older poems I wrote it in 1999 sometime,,,I apologize if theres a little bit of a chessy side to it------------------Do You ever Question Your life? Do You ever wonder Why? Do you ever see in Your dreams, All the castles in the Sky??

Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...


GlowWorm
member
Location: South Africa
Member Since: 18th Dec 2001
Total posts: 84
Posted:Wow, guys, your poetry is amazing.What i love about poetry, is that there is no hiding your true emotions when you write. Sentences make masks, Poetry makes mirrorsOk, I know my style of writing is pretty different to alot of people's, and many people dont like it, but i wanted to share at least this one with you.Silent ScreamsFustration gleams in the blink of an eyeA venemous snake, Striking at the slightes threatYet another blowTo my already broken heart.What did i do this time?I guess it doent matter.Lying naked on the floor, Bruised and bleeding,Tears streaming down my faceTime is irrelevantThe many hours spent screamingGone, WastedNow i dont carePowerful blows across my bodyMy skin on fireseeking relief in the coldest corner of my soul.They tell me to smileI tell them to F&*k offThey dont knowThe fear i feltsThey dont understand the hatred i feelHow much i wish they would leave me aloneThey're too ignorantTo hear my silent screams of pain Sorry... I know its not about love or anything...

Coles
Id love to be a glow-worm
Cuz a glow-worm's never glum
It's hard to be downhearted
When a light shines out your bum


Organized Kaos
member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada
Member Since: 20th Dec 2001
Total posts: 238
Posted:That poem was really amazing glowshow...btw did I explain the right poem to you??so anyway, Im going to continue my trend of threadhogging and post another one (It's called 4AM but theres no connection to the Our Lady Peace 4AM)4 AMThe clock on the wall says 4 AMMy eyes are still open although I keep them closedAnother sleepless night is upon meI give in to my insomnia and turn on the lightI turn on my Keyboard, but the notes are flatI try and write a poem but the words won't rhymeAll the confusion going on in my headI toss and turn tangled in the sheets of my bedI go to the window and look out the streetA quiet and empty road of cold concreterI look at the stars and wonder to myselfIf there is another like me, lying awake, lost in their headI hear a siren, it seems to be beckoningI hear a voice, but it's in my headI lie down again and stare at the ceilingI try and comprehend this pain I'm feelingLooking back at the past and looking to the futureBoth dark, full of broken hearts and broken dreamsI sit here using a blunt needle and flimsy thread to sew up the seamsOf the garment I can never don...------------------Do You ever Question Your life? Do You ever wonder Why? Do you ever see in Your dreams, All the castles in the Sky??

Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...


Pele
Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA
Member Since: 15th Dec 2000
Total posts: 6193
Posted:It's a group where those of us with a flare for the literary can share and get some insights, inspirations, feedback...like a writer's group online. It hasn't had much in the way of traffic though. I can resurrect it if you are interested. I think it would be good. There are some poetry threads floating about here already. One is haiku...it is really cool. Now I tend to stick to stories (of varying lengths) and articles. I used to write a poem a day though and when I go back and read them, I am not really thrilled, but then again I feel that way about all my stuff! This one is one of my favorites though.AngelI face each day head onEyes open and senses fully awareBut the good is never pure and the bad is never whollySo I fade into nothing outstandingA vague memory of something never wonderfulLike an angel with shadows for wingsAlways reaching higher Never able to fly.It can be seen in the drawing I made for it here, on my personal website:http://free.freespeech.org/spiderblade/angel.htm------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...http://www.pyromorph.com

Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK


GlowWorm
member
Location: South Africa
Member Since: 18th Dec 2001
Total posts: 84
Posted:Yo, Kaos, Im assuming you're talking to me, not Glowshow, cause Glowshow hasnt posted on this thread. I sent you a reply email a few minutes ago - Yes, you did explain the right poem.Pele - could you direct us to your group?? That would be really cool!Keep creating, and never give into the norms of soceity
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[This message has been edited by GlowWorm (edited 02 April 2002).]


Coles
Id love to be a glow-worm
Cuz a glow-worm's never glum
It's hard to be downhearted
When a light shines out your bum


Spiral
Spiral

Oolering Man
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Member Since: 12th Jan 2002
Total posts: 729
Posted:Ok change of subject of poems here, a few protest songs I wrote in my younger, angrier days.TakeYou call it democracyI say HipocracyThe land of freedom?I see the land bleedingRecycled newsWe've got nothing to looseTake the power awayTake the power awayIts coming, the dayWe'll take your power awayPropaganda machineTransparent Lies obsceneTry to denyWhile we defyCash for questionsSubliminal suggestionsTake the power awayTake the power awayIts coming, the dayWe'll take your power awayYou can't subdue usYou can't delude usWe see through youWe elude youRising revolutionYour disolution.Age Of RuinWelcome to the age of ruinThis insane plot you are pursuingRaping mother earth for profitWe've got the bombshell, time to drop itNow's the time to fightFor what we feel is right As we raise our voices to the skyNow's the time to fightIf you persecute our livesWe raise our fists to defyIn the age of ruinWe want our lives we want our freedomThis is our rhyme, this is our reasonThis isn't simple revolutionThis is global evolutionNow's the time to fightFor what we feel is right As we raise our voices to the skyNow's the time to fightIf you persecute our livesWe raise our fists to defyIn the age of ruinWere going to tear your world apartNows the time to strike the heartThis is our dream this is our visionUnified no more division.------------------Trance the sacred spiral dance.Love and LightSpiral'ride the spiral to the end, It may just go where no-ones been'


Organized Kaos
member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada
Member Since: 20th Dec 2001
Total posts: 238
Posted:Sorry Glowworm
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I get confused sumtimes...I extend my most heartfelt apologies
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------------------Do You ever Question Your life? Do You ever wonder Why? Do you ever see in Your dreams, All the castles in the Sky??


Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...


Kyrian
Dreamer
Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:wow, you guys have so much good stuff.... i'll try and find something decent to share, really i will. I too would like to be linked up to the writer's site Pele...

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


arsn
arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 1903
Posted:Wow guys... this is mad... I leave for awhile and pow!!! Love your work... really, I so want to keep this one going... and I don't care if you think your going to be a thread hog... just keep posting!!!... thanks guys...

I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men


utilitydeamon
member
Location: Saline, MI United States
Member Since: 21st Jan 2002
Total posts: 33
Posted:beautiful. all of it.I write a lot of poetry, most of the pieces like this, but sometimes i get creative. And if it dosent make sense at times, your not thinking hard enough. And if it dosent after that, its not meant to.Dont let me down from this towerdrifting through the swift windswept into the infinity that grasps me into freedom.I feel your breath between my wingsYour heart deep within my soul.Your eyes deep within mine.Yet this is nothing but ahaunting apparition in the back of my mindone i once could put a face to.This does not become easier as the days go by, all i have foundwithin myself is pain.You are so like a spark.Altough not bright,you are so warm.And then I understand, I will never understand. But now I will live, I seeit so clear now. I am free.But i will never be free from your breathI will never ecscape my soul.And what it hides. And what hides behind it.Will i wake up like evry other morning?I cant hold on to this,but the echoes will continue.Within my mind.Between my wings.Beyond my soul.But please, dont let me down.[This message has been edited by utilitydeamon (edited 02 April 2002).]


GlowWorm
member
Location: South Africa
Member Since: 18th Dec 2001
Total posts: 84
Posted:Arsn: in response to the poem that started this thread, i have a quote/poem."Drowning in the dark blood of would-be brothers who,beyond the pressing of fingers, those for whomthe slice is only the beginning, and a different kindof light comes in, begs recognition and peace of mind"

Coles
Id love to be a glow-worm
Cuz a glow-worm's never glum
It's hard to be downhearted
When a light shines out your bum


Organized Kaos
member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada
Member Since: 20th Dec 2001
Total posts: 238
Posted:This thread's great, thanx Arsn!! I've never had a place where I could freely write my poetry without worrying of others opinions...Oh and for all you poetry people who like to post their poetry on the net, go to www.poetry.com you can post your poems thereBut otherwise keep posting here! Lets see how long we can make this thread...The point of no returnThere's an airplane up thereflying people home, flying people awayFlying people, people who are fed upFlying people back to where they belongThere's a taxicab on the streetPeople packing their luggage into the trunkPacking their problems and possesions awayto experience something newI wish I could get onto that planeOr climb into the taxicabAnd drive, and flyjust fly awayto the point of no returnI'll be gone somedayAnd then will you miss me?Will you miss the unaccomplished man?The man who did it all, yet did absolutely nothing?Will you miss the man who seemed so happy?When I've flown awayTo the point of no return.This next one I actually wrote last night. It's not so good as I had some writers block at the time but here it isnothingI want to move to a placeFar from the gunshots far from the fearsfar from the mothers criesand far from the tearsI want to goto a placeWithout billboards, people or carsto a place with nothingbut trees, air and sunAnd there I want to fly with youalone together in the sunWhere we can dance all day and all nightwithout a care, concerned for no oneAnd I want to lie together for hoursand do nothing for hoursI just want to do nothingTo do nothing with youBut hold eachother tightand stare in eachothers eyesWhile doing nothingdoing nothing together.------------------Do You ever Question Your life? Do You ever wonder Why? Do you ever see in Your dreams, All the castles in the Sky??

Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...


GlowWorm
member
Location: South Africa
Member Since: 18th Dec 2001
Total posts: 84
Posted:These poems are great. Aren't there anymore poems from any of you?MwaPeace out------------------ColesId love to be a glow-wormCuz a glow-worm's never glumIt's hard to be downheartedWhen a light shines out your bum

Coles
Id love to be a glow-worm
Cuz a glow-worm's never glum
It's hard to be downhearted
When a light shines out your bum


Kinudin (Soul Fyre)
veteran
Location: San Diego, California, USA
Member Since: 21st Dec 2001
Total posts: 1325
Posted:Arsn, I have a few people at school that are doing the same thing you did in the first poem... if the need arises can I show them your great poem please?


Kinudin (Soul Fyre)
veteran
Location: San Diego, California, USA
Member Since: 21st Dec 2001
Total posts: 1325
Posted:Don't worry Cantus, no poem posting from me
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(well, that poem)



GlowWorm
member
Location: South Africa
Member Since: 18th Dec 2001
Total posts: 84
Posted:Ok, so id really like to revive this thread, because it's really awesome to hear all your poetry. Im afraid i am having a bout of writers block at the moment, thus the lack of poems from me. But i would like to say to all of you who dont have writers block: Come on people, poetry is great!!

Peace


Coles
Id love to be a glow-worm
Cuz a glow-worm's never glum
It's hard to be downhearted
When a light shines out your bum


Spiral
Spiral

Oolering Man
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Member Since: 12th Jan 2002
Total posts: 729
Posted:Believe me, this thread has inspired me, I've taken up the pen again and I'm trying to write some poetry especially for this thread


Organized Kaos
member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada
Member Since: 20th Dec 2001
Total posts: 238
Posted:Ye we shouldn let this thread die
Ill post a couple of poems I rote two days ago tomorrow...
Im also going through a thing rite now so expect lotsa sad depressing type shit coming

everyone whould post on this thread, even if youre too embarrased dont be!!!! its an open thing I used to be embarrassed to share before this thread

and spiral Im excited to read more of your stuff!!


Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...


Spiral
Spiral

Oolering Man
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Member Since: 12th Jan 2002
Total posts: 729
Posted:Right your keeping me to this Kaos
ok That means I really MUST write some more poems now



Spiral
Spiral

Oolering Man
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Member Since: 12th Jan 2002
Total posts: 729
Posted:OK just finnished, unfortunately an unimaginitve title (The time on my clock when I finnished writing it) But hey, it seems to fit.

5:24AM

Open heart and open arms,
Waiting and watching,
In pre-dawns semi-opaque calm,
Through life I'm floating.

I wonder If I cleared my head,
Would it be empty?
If I cleared my head would I be dead?
My thoughts are plenty.

Stars have passed, sun not yet born,
But still I'm waking,
Gloom struck, curled up, all forlorn,
Alone and shaking.

Freedom comes to those who can,
But not the lost one.
Realise who, what, where I am,
Tie myself undone.

Sun still not risen in the sky,
So still I sit here,
Exhale a dreaming free to fly
Which makes it all clear.

Spiral, '02

[ 06 April 2002, 09:42: Message edited by: Spiral ]



utilitydeamon
member
Location: Saline, MI United States
Member Since: 21st Jan 2002
Total posts: 33
Posted:I have a theory. that almost everyone writes poetry, its just that no one will admit it. When i think of poems anywhere out of some writing club, i think of a few people who write terrible gothic poems. But it seems like so many people are posting on this.


Organized Kaos
member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada
Member Since: 20th Dec 2001
Total posts: 238
Posted:alrite heres my next two, just to keep this thread going...

Falling back on air

I look around
I seem to be falling
I see the aproaching ground
Your face staring back at me

But your face is an illusion
A picture in my head
A picture I reach out for tangled in my sheets
My cheeks a tear stained red

I'm falling back on you
But its like falling back on air
and I keep having a vision
of your long black silky hair
Running over my body like satin sheets
my head resting on your chest
feeling your resounding heartbeats

For things to go back to the way they were
I would give all I have to give
for just one night with you alone
I would give it all

But your indifference to me
makes me feel like it makes no difference to you
The nights we danced and laughed all night
are but a faint memory in my mind
So now I'm falling back on air
while falling back on you

The second one I wrote during a snowfall we had a couple of days ago, it relates to the situation in the middle east. I realize it is a very controvertial topic, so please dont take offence...

my own little bubble
The snow falls fom the skies
like angel wing feathers coating the ground
a coating to queten my cries
In a peaceful world safe and sound

It is a piece of God
Falling in a white symbol of peace
And while the bombs blast in his home overseas
I am kept warm, safe from trouble
Covered and protected in my own little bubble

As my best friends and close relatives head to battle
To protect the land they love
I'm covered by a blanket, a blanket of snow
Keeping me warm, and safe from trouble
Covered, protected in my own little bubble

And to stop the fighting and senseless hatred
I'd love to see a land of peace
The land I love, coated protected by fallen angel feathers
To keep it warm protected and safe from throuble
To blanket my land in peace, in its own little bubble.

I wrote a whole lot more last night about other topics as I could not sleep,,,but I'll post them later so not to be a thread hog


Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...


arsn
arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 1903
Posted:Yeah yeah yeah I know I haven't been here for awhile... I guess you can just say writer block... or out there getting some support and help for my next poem...

Yeah Kinudin you can show your friends... that's why I posted the thread... to share, and bring people together... and we all did that... I'm still writing my next poem, so I need to say that I'm sorry for not posting one now...

Please forgive...

love you all...


I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men


arsn
arsn

How do you change this thing???
Location: Behind the couch...
Member Since: 7th Mar 2002
Total posts: 1903
Posted:I'm bumping this so people, new and old can still give some peoms...

I can't hear you... I have a banana in my ear.

"You mean I'll have to use my brain?... but I use staff!!!" ~ ben-ja-men


Bendy
member
Location: Adelaide, SA, Australia
Member Since: 29th Aug 2001
Total posts: 750
Posted:Hmmm, I have some more serious stuff, but that is for me, so I will share some light-hearted fun. This one is more accurately new lyrics to the song Free Falling (I think it is by Tom Petty).

Humblest apologies for what follows! That and a parental warning...

It's a hot day,
My thighs are chafing.
I've got a red rash
And I'm sweating too
My pants stink,
Didn't wipe up prop'ly
The last time
I did a poo

But I'm freeeee
Free balling
Yeah I'm freeeeee
Free balling

Now it's winter
I'm getting colder
My dick's shrunk
Like it's trying to hide
I've got goosebumps
But that's not the worst thing
My nuts have retreated inside,

Still I'm freeeeee
Free balling
Yes I'm freeeee
Free balling

The doctor
Told me that I should
Wear some kind
Of groin support
So I tried it,
Didn't like the feeling
Of getting
Tangled and caught.

So I'm Freeee
Free Balling
Always freeeeeee
Free balling

Ok so you want some poetry:

I once knew a fella called Dennis
He really like to play tennis
His favourite was Totem,
Til the ball hit his scrotum
Now he's got a black and blue pennis(sic)

shakes his head wondering how old he really is


Courage is the man who can stop after only one peanut


Kyrian
Dreamer
Location: York, England
Member Since: 15th Mar 2002
Total posts: 4308
Posted:I musta missed 5:24am last time... i really like it spiral! wow

havn't had time to go through the rest adn give it the attention it deserves...

you guys are actually making me think baout writing more...

i got some stuff published recently... (well, i don't think it's out yet). i don't like it much tho.


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


Page: 1234

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