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stickyfish
member
Location: Lingfield, Surrey, England
Member Since: 27th Feb 2002
Total posts: 39
Posted:I just went in to the pub for a quick pint before bed and after a while my best friend came in with my girlfriend having just gone out for a drink together. They have now gone out for a meal and I'm getting a bit paranoid.A few things should be added. Both my girlfriend and I work in the pub and it is my best friends local. Drinking elsewhere is very unusual for any of us. I was invited to go with them for the meal but I got the impression this was just because I was there and they felt they had to. The signs look bad to me but I can't believe that either of them would go behind my back.Please advise

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SickpuPpy
SickpuPpy

Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.
Member Since: 27th Nov 2001
Total posts: 1100
Posted:If you love something, let it go.If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it.------------It could just be innocent, but I don't want to venture a guess, not knowing the circumstances or people involved. My best advice would be to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I honestly hope that it is innocent, and it can be really hard not to get parinoid about these things, but if it should turn out that it isn't maybe it would be best to just let it go. I don't know how serious your relationship is whith your girl, nor do I know how tight you are with your best friend, but if it was my best friend, and my girl was just some girl (as opposed to a girl that I was madly in love with) I would probobly step aside. But then neither I or my best friend have ever been of the type to make a play for someone else's girl. Of course, if you are madly in love with this girl, and you think that the situation would be better solved by talking it out, then perhaps you should just wait a few weeks and see if these dinners (or whatevers) become more frequent and then just ask your girl in a non-threatening and non-combative way if there is anything to it, and work it out from there.I hope it works out well for you.Cheers------------------If you love something, set it on fire.

Jesus helps me trick people.

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Carrey
member
Location: London, England.
Member Since: 28th Dec 2001
Total posts: 180
Posted:Wow, tough one...not an enviable position to be in.All you can really do it wait it out and try not think about it.You are probably being paranoid...so don't look for things - in a paranoid state, anything can seem suspicious.Do loads of Poi - it takes my mind of things so well!Cheers,C

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Dom
Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK
Member Since: 19th Dec 2001
Total posts: 3009
Posted:If you're paranoid that will affect how you act and your relationship will suffer regardless of whether something is going on or not.I've gotten on with a couple of mates girlfriends before, and we've met up for drinks/dinner just because we got on really well. If anything it helps them feel part of their partner's group of friends.Relationships are rarely simple. You've got to trust them. Sickpuppy's "My best advice would be to hope for the best and prepare for the worst." is probably about right.

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Itsgottab
member
Location: NZ
Member Since: 7th Nov 2001
Total posts: 244
Posted:lay off the weed big guy. she likes him but only in a pultonic way, he listens to what she wants to say, its safe theres nothing at stake with this boy only friendship. that does put you in the position tempoarily where you just provide the sexual satisfaction, but she'll finish with him when her little deal is over.your buddy wants to get phyiscal with your girl though. don't hit him (then she'll know you are unable to talk about the feeling stuff, and thats what she wants from you at some stage, your're gonna have to make yourself avaiable for this at some stage, or she'll leave).but confront him if you can, but if you gonna hit him don't. good luck stickyfishdaniel

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Organized Kaos
member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada
Member Since: 20th Dec 2001
Total posts: 238
Posted:Here's my advice out of experience,don't confront her about it until you're 100% sure bout it, cuz if nothings wrong shell be offended and it could lead to problems in the relationship...and from experience, if there is somethng goin on and you have no proof, she'll deny it, and act as if you're the bad person...so don't do anything stupid or accuse anybody until you got proof man.and you're right to be paranoid, it shows you truly care for your girl and your relationship...and one more thing to add on which I thought of right after I closed it, trust is the most important part of a relationship, so don't let the paranoia take over and affect all the good times you and your girlfriend have...thats my thoughts for the day------------------Do You ever Question Your life? Do You ever wonder Why? Do you ever see in Your dreams, All the castles in the Sky??[This message has been edited by Organized_Kaos (edited 06 March 2002).]

Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...

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Naganootch
AKA CLERIC
Location: Staten Island , NY. USA
Member Since: 30th Aug 2001
Total posts: 172
Posted:"If you love someone, set them free. If they return to you, then put several 8 inch blades into their head, and if they return again...then run...just run." -LenoreFrom what i've noticed. If you have to ask if your paranoid, you generally are paranoid.

We are defined by the choices we make

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xtremravr...was here..
member
Location: amsterdam..i wish
Member Since: 2nd Feb 2002
Total posts: 337
Posted:dont sweat her man...as long aas the relationship is healthy and your doing everything you can than you have nothing to worry about, if she does cheat then f**k her..she wasnt up to your standards anyway!!! you can do better, what is tha point of being with someone that you dont trust?...ya know?..well thats the way i feel..ya your probably being just paranoid..so dont sweat tha small stuff and play like it doesnt bother you..then it really wont!! good luck..but you dont need luck...p.l.u.r.r.xtremravr

Peace Luv Uni-t Respect Responsa-what?!?! Xtrem

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bender
still can't believe it's not butter
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 14th Nov 2001
Total posts: 6979
Posted:Take it from the other perspective!I generally fit the other role - that of always appearing suspicious! being a bloke we don't *realise* just how how much grrls see right through us! the day i learnt just how blatant/unsubtle our behaviour appears was a bigger shock than the day bloody Offspring scored #1 in the TripleJ Hottest 100. Remedying the situtation (like more flowers, e.t.c.) just caused even more suspicion for me!!If your gf's situation was anything like the boat I was in, the chances are that she already knows thar your tensin' over it and is tensed herself (hence explaining why she can only discuss it with yer friend) If that's the case, everyone needs a chill pill before it boils over! I got over this hassle by just going out a bit more and having a lot of fun with her. She can't be worried about your paranoia if your both having too much fun!Hope this helps..

Laugh Often, Smile Much, Post lolcats Always

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SickpuPpy
SickpuPpy

Ninja Rockstar!
Location: Denver, Co. U.S.A.
Member Since: 27th Nov 2001
Total posts: 1100
Posted:What is this, like #3 on the list of why beer is better than women?
Non-Https Image Link


Jesus helps me trick people.

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Organized Kaos
member
Location: Thornhill, Ontario Canada
Member Since: 20th Dec 2001
Total posts: 238
Posted:Props to bender...It's true, somehow if youre feeling something chances are the girl's feeling the same thing or sees right thru to you (hey wait, thats a song)...props to sikk puppy for his last comment too------------------Do You ever Question Your life? Do You ever wonder Why? Do you ever see in Your dreams, All the castles in the Sky??

Every morning I wake up and hit the ground yawning...

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