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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Ever want to do something sneaky, not illegal, for no real apparent reason?I have two of the laziest housemates you could ever imagine. One of them leaves his toothbrush in the household shower, and it is one of those things that is annoying for no apparent reason. I was in the shower today and saw it and **reeeeeeally** felt the urge to dip it in my shampoo and clean the grout with it. I didn't, but the desire was hard to will away.Another one is one of my housemates is too lazy to shower (no shit) and he is a super sound sleeper. There are days when I want to walk into his room and just dump Febreeze and Lysol over all his belongings as well as him. Or take a aerosol can of scrubbing bubbles, knock the top off and let it go like a bug bomb in his room. His not showering does not hurt anyone, and since he spends most of his time shut up in his room, it rarely reaches any of us.Every year I get the urge to collapse the tents of people at faire camp, while they are in them, just because....but since many people keep items of their shows, weapons or whatever in them, I don't.Or, and I am so classic for doing this, I hate missing a phone call but there are times I do not want to talk to people and I am not fond of machines, so I only tend to let mine go while I am not home. However, for people I do not know, I will pretend not to be me and take messages, just so I can get the feel of whether or not I really want to call the person back.And, hassling telemarketers back. They want to ask me stupid questions ("Do you have windows on your car?" That was yesterday.)I give them stupid answers ("Actually, I had all the glass in my car replaced last year with bubble wrap. I find that much like an insect, I can see in multiples making me feel much safer.") or ask them questions back or whatever. No reason, I just don't appreciate the interruption so I decide to have fun. They are just doing their job, I know that, and I am never cruel to them, a couple I have gotten into interesting conversations with actually and they never got around to their sales schpiel..but still...I know PWB does stuff like this, but do you?Sometimes I feel bad about the phone things. I don't allienate my housemates, their lives depress them enough without me adding to the mix and it would make them hard to live with!
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What senseless acts of strange things are you guilty of wanting to do and never doing?And please, no stories of harming people or bullying type stuff. This is meant to be light hearted.
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------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...http://www.pyromorph.com


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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RavingLunatic


member


Total posts: 286
Posted:quote:I give them stupid answers ("Actually, I had all the glass in my car replaced last year with bubble wrap. I find that much like an insect, I can see in multiples making me feel much safer.")LMAO!! damn that's funny..i have the urge to do mean shit sometimes too..------------------~whoosh whoosh whoosh~

~whoosh whoosh whoosh~

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Superman
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

Superman

member
Location: Houston, Texas

Total posts: 829
Posted:What do you mean "have you ever wanted to..??"
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hee heeya Pele...its funny that you posted this. I just went down to Mc Donalds for lunch. While i was standing in line, i saw a sign saying that the restaurant was protected by surveilance cameras. .."prosecuters will be punished o the full extend of the law"So i looked for the cameras. I saw 2 obvious ones, and one that was hidden on top of the shake machine aimed at the registers. So i started thinking of how i could hold the place up with out being caught on camera. I came up with at least three scenarios. I wont clue you guys in just in case someone wants to take my claim.."S"


Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.


- Mark Twain

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Pele'sWhippingBoy


member
Location: Rochester, NY, USA

Total posts: 442
Posted:I talked to a person who called me wrong-number for about an hour. It was even a long distance call. Pele was there and we thought it was quite funny. She asked for someone who I used to get calls for a lot and I said he was dead. I turned it into a joke and we talked.I have a round number at work and people often call me either thinking I'm the local hospital or I'm a directory. If they think I'm a directory I "transfer" them to their requested person. I don't have a transfer button, but I do have a hold button. The longest so far that someone remained on hold was 5 minutes.When the telemarketers call I ask for free stuff.When I go thru drive-thru I sometimes ask for a free cheeseburger just for asking. They usually say no.When my old roommate was low on cash and needed help paying our rent. I took his TV as collateral. He was about $100 low and the TV was worth about $200. I thought it was a good deal. He repayed me rather quickly.When I was a cashier at a grocery store, I charged a jerk customer for premium items instead of regular items. His bill was about $10 (out of $60) higher than it should have been. He was upset. My reply: "Must be a computer malfunction, go check with customer service."
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I flooded the bathroom of a lady I babysat for. She came home a few hours late and I had forgotten the toilet didn't work right. So I closed the door and never had to see her again.------------------FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB."Those who can, do. Those who can't, critique"Pyromorph.com - Let the fire change you


FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:I have to say it...I just have to....Did anyone notice in my original post I said things you think about, but usually never do? Anyone notice PWB has a lack of self-control in this area?
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Since these are the things he pulls, you can imagine the things he thinks of and doesn't do!!! Think I am diplomatic on here, you should see me with him!
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And Super...I've done that too. It's one of those just to see if I can things. Of course, I have no intention of being anyone named Bertha's bitch, so I will keep fantacising and not really do anything that might get me arrested!------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...http://www.pyromorph.com


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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Charles
BRONZE Member since Jun 2001

Charles

Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
Location: Auckland

Total posts: 3989
Posted:Pele, Pele, Pele, why do I almost always have to agree with you.It sounds like i'm kissing up or something, but it just happens to be the truth...I love the ideas and concepts of practical jokes, I love hearing about ways to do them and trying to think up ones on my own.But I woudl very seldom do any of them, its enough to know I could if I wanted to.I'll list a few of my favourites here, but not the real nasty ones, coz people will do em, and then it will be all my fault.1. Call someone's phone when they are out, record their voicemail message. Call again, after the beep, play back the message. Do the same again.They will think their machine is broken!2. Send someone a text message while in the restaurent without them seeing you enter it.Things like"I've just got a woody!""Did you just fart?""I hope that's your leg, but it feels too hairy" etc etc3. ***Boardroom bugging tactic*** Before a meeting, call your cellphone from a landline near the meeting room, answer it and put it in your jacket pocket, or briefcase or notes or whatever.During the meeting, leave for some reason or another, leaving the hidden phone behind. Go outside to pick up the landline.You have now "bugged" the room and can hear what they are saying when they think you cannot hear them.Very good for negotiating about apay rises and labour disputes...4. If you are really angry at someone, put marmite under the driver's door handle on their car. Don't put it anywhere else coz they might give you a lift in the future and you'll get yourself!5. Put a fork in the sugar bowl on the table, especially if there are lots of children in the house...etcetcetc------------------Charles (INFERNO)newdolbel@hotmail.comhttp://juggling.co.nz[This message has been edited by Charles (edited 08 February 2002).]

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Ade
SILVER Member since Mar 2001

Are we there yet?
Location: australia

Total posts: 1897
Posted:Pele, the toothbrush thing reminds me of the urban myth of the burgular who breaks in and steals all your possessions, leaving you with only your toothbrush and camera. When you have the film developed, you see where the burgular put the toothbrush before departing with your belongings. I'll let you imagine where the toothbrush had been - and no, it wasn't dipped in shampoo and used to clean the grout!
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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:Pele, sounds like you're in the perfect position. You can think of evil things you want to do to people, and you have PWB who sounds more than willing to carry them out! Cool!We all need to kick out a little every now and again, and these things listed here tend to be pretty harmless ways of amusing ourselves and getting a little revenge on those that annoy us. As long as you don't harm people who don't deserve it I reckon it's OK.Personally, nothing comes to mind at the moment. I try to be pretty chilled out about things that annoy me. Thanks to caller ID I rarely answer my phones if it's not somebody I know or want to talk to, but this is just a tool for leading a peaceful life. I'm never too rude to tele sales people, just abrupt and the calls last 10 seconds. They're only doing a job, and I know several penniless students who have done it to try to earn some more money.

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Twirl'N'Burn


Booojakasha
Location: Brisbane QLD Australia

Total posts: 121
Posted:Ohhhh Peel I feel for ya babe (cool I just made a rhyme). I work in retail and I have the urge to do many many evil things to the annoying customers.As for the shower here are two of my favourites1) In winter the water is always cold in the morning so turn the shower head 90 deg towrds the direction that the tap is being turned from, people will be too tired that time of day to notice. Muahahahaha2) Now this is evil, get a mouse trap or if you are feeling particularly mean a rat trap. Spray paint them white load em up and put them in the tub the night before, they work really well as wake up devices. Muahahahahahaha haahahahahah no wait MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOk now im done, sorry about that folks.

Simply an excuse to play with fire.

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Dom
BRONZE Member since Dec 2001

Dom

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Bristol, UK

Total posts: 3009
Posted:Actually, memory kicking in slowly and bringing up a few university memories. Uni halls and flats are great for jokes!We had a shower head that you could unscrew, and a couple of times gravy granules or Oxo cubes were placed in the shower head. Great effect!Also one guy (who bizzarely became a porn star) was so messy and smelly we hid some small raw fish in his room to stink him into tidying up. After a couple of weeks we had to go remove them because the smell was beginning to encroach on the rest of the flat.The flat upstairs stole our microwave, so instead of stealing it back one night we gutted the insides and replaced them with one of those annoying electircal tune things like you get in cards. They went to use it, turned it on, and got happy birthday played back at them.Then there's endless fun to be had breaking into peoples rooms and moving all the furniture to the opposite side of the room, or preferably recreating their room outside. One guy woke up to find all his clothes and posessions gone, and he slept nude!Oh, those were the days!!!!
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I blame it on the fact that I went to uni where Clockwork Orange was filmed. Those kind of evil vibes have got to stay around!


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clare


member
Location: Perf, australia

Total posts: 82
Posted:my god! you people are so evil! these are just the best ideas.i worked in a bookshop for a while, and being small and independantly run it had its own odd rules... certain (usually popular) books were left without prices, and when you scanned them you typed in a price depending on how much you liked the look of the person... hot guys got $2 books, teenage bitches paid $30.

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SteelWngs
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

SteelWngs

member
Location: Malden, Massachusetts United S...

Total posts: 169
Posted:PWB Quote ...-----------------------------------------When I was a cashier at a grocery store, I charged a jerk customer for premium items instead of regular items. His bill was about $10 (out of $60) higher than it should have been. He was upset. My reply: "Must be a computer malfunction, go check with customer service." ------------------------------------------ Ok, I work Customer service. This shit ain't funny.
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What I like to do it then tell them to go get the cashier and have them talk to me.
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I like hearing the explanations.
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As for "Ever want to do something sneaky, not illegal, for no real apparent reason?" anyone here heard of Isosulfan Blue? You use it in biopsy. The side effect of it is it turns your urine blue for a few days. Now, take one room mate that likes to steal beer out of the fridge and you have one hell of a practical joke.
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Now it's all a matter of timeing. You first load up a beer with said blue dye, then you have to wait till after a party when he has shagged some girl that he dosn't remember or know real well (you can make her up if he was quite snookered if you like). Then all you have to do is wait for the scream the next morning from the bathroom.
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I found that the hardest part is to tell said person that he has (Make up new STD here) with a straight face.
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------------------Blessings to all, Peter "In motion, move like a thundering wave. When still, be like a mountain.Rising up, be like a monkey. Land swiftly and lightly like a bird. Be steadylike a rooster on one leg. One's stance is as firm as a pine tree, yetexpresses motion. Spin swiftly and circularly like a wheel. Bend and flexlike a bow. Waft gracefully like a leaf in the wind. Sink like a heavy pieceof metal. Prey like a watchful, gliding eagle. Accelerate like a gusty wind." Wushu Proverb


Blessings to all,
Peter
When you find yourself in the company of a halfling and an ill-tempered Dragon, remember, you do not have to outrun the Dragon ...you just have to outrun the halfling.

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Pele'sWhippingBoy


member
Location: Rochester, NY, USA

Total posts: 442
Posted:SteelWngs, I wanted to take the bite out of him. There was no reason to be mean to a kid who has to total your groceries. Officially I would have said I must have mistakenly hit the wrong code. Later I'd have said he's a jerk and deserved his wasted time.
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This is supposed to be stuff you haven't done. I've done all of those. Things I haven't done? Hrm.I pretend to scream "What!?" into the phone before I pick it up. But then answer politely.I wanted to take my roommates dishes and place them in his room. He never did them and they filled our sink. The reason it bugged me was because we had a dish washer!------------------FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB."Those who can, do. Those who can't, critique"Pyromorph.com - Let the fire change you


FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson

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adamrice


adamrice

poo-bah
Location: Austin TX USA

Total posts: 1015
Posted:Ok, let's see:When a long-distance phone company's telemarketers call, I tell them "I don't have a phone." I actually get them to hang up on me.When the local newspaper's telemarketers call, I tell them I'm illiterate.Usually, though, I just set the phone down and let them continue their spiel.One summer, I had a job taking magazine subscriptions over the phone. On three occasions I was asked by the caller "are you a machine?" The first two times I said "no." Third time I said "yes" and the woman took it in stride, but a minute further into the conversation, she exclaimed "you're not a machine!"Also had a job working a retail counter where some of the charges were entirely discretionary. We all had a "PITA surcharge" for certain kinds of customers.

Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

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SteelWngs
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

SteelWngs

member
Location: Malden, Massachusetts United S...

Total posts: 169
Posted:adamrice,No what I do. tell them this. "Wow, I love to get a subscription." "Can I sign up for a 3 year subscription? I've allways wanted to get the paper the day that it comes out. I've wanted to read the paper when it comes out for a long time. One question though? I need to know when did you start printing it daly in braile? I allways have to go to the library to read it." I allways get a supervisor to apologise for the call and they NEVER call again.
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)------------------Blessings to all, Peter "In motion, move like a thundering wave. When still, be like a mountain.Rising up, be like a monkey. Land swiftly and lightly like a bird. Be steadylike a rooster on one leg. One's stance is as firm as a pine tree, yetexpresses motion. Spin swiftly and circularly like a wheel. Bend and flexlike a bow. Waft gracefully like a leaf in the wind. Sink like a heavy pieceof metal. Prey like a watchful, gliding eagle. Accelerate like a gusty wind." Wushu Proverb


Blessings to all,
Peter
When you find yourself in the company of a halfling and an ill-tempered Dragon, remember, you do not have to outrun the Dragon ...you just have to outrun the halfling.

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Whiffle Squeek


Whiffle Squeek

addict
Location: Hartford, CT USA

Total posts: 416
Posted:mmm, not exactly creative as some of the others, but my voicemail message is just me saying "Hello" and then i have like a 30 second pause after that, hehe, its great, and actually gets rid of all the people who dont know me, as they usually hang up...mmm, and then i have my little evil things i do just for personal pleasure that actually require absolutely no intelligence, hehe, stepping on the back of peoples shoes in the hallway... if you have good timing you can plant your foot on the back of a persons knee just as they are taking a step and there is absolutely no way they can keep themselves from falling...hehehe, or when someone who hasnt read a book for homework, when they ask you how it ends and you tell them a completely plausible, but totally wrong ending, and they write about it on the quiz we have in class...god i need to grow up...

Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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Kyrian


Dreamer
Location: York, England

Total posts: 4308
Posted:my friends and i had all sorts of fun in drama.. ah, those were the days. apparently several local fast food establishments use channel A wireless' ... our drama dept uses channel A wirelesses'... quite fun . Especially since half the fast food workers are so confused anyhow.
Then there were the jokes during shows.. things like putting a plastic cumcuber in every scene (it was the stage cucumber ) which one show the lead found (and really, we were good taht show, we didn't even put it in view of the audience)and broke with his bare hands. So, we gaff taped it up and put it back in teh next scene ah, evil techies
They once put my stage cactus in a scene and i couldn't even find it... really, i think i trained some of my frosh too well last year.
When we did Fiddler on the Roof I was horridly temtpted to replace teh water in teh bar scene with real vodka, unfortuenly one of the guys who drank it was very against alcohol. It might also have caused a lot of trouble, altho after i found rum and my friend ben found a case of beer in teh cats (and really, we still don't knwo who put them there.) i start to think they wouldn't have cared much what we did. Much pot was smoked in those cats and almost no one was ever called on it even tho the light crew head fell over a few times.
There was one scene where we put every techie in and tried to find a legit reason for them to be in the scene, even tho most of us were in black, and a few of teh board operators were dressed in very slutty clothing..
I still love the last show I did at my old school, where we decided to paper teh inside of the menu's with porn... or at least, my asst. and my fly grip did, i just laughed about it... now, no actors knew about it ahead of time, so when they sat down at their tables they had a surprise... but what makes it better is that this one girl was supposed to go over to a waiter (who had no idea about this) and go "I want one of that, and one of that.. etc. while pointing at things... watching that poor guy try to keep a straight face was great


Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....

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MrConfused
BRONZE Member since Jan 2002

MrConfused

addict
Location: I wish I knew

Total posts: 529
Posted:In halls in my first year at uni, we would quite often tape newspaper over the outside of peoples' doors. Very childish, but very funny (if you're drunk). We also had a habit of throwing people into the pond someone had foolishly constructed directly outside our hall.

J


If you're not confused, you're not thinking about things hard enough.

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nomad
BRONZE Member since Jan 2001

nomad

retired
Location: Paris, France

Total posts: 356
Posted:You people are sick.

There is one that i have wanted to do recently but haven't yet. Seeing that you people get away with it, maybe i now will execute my plan.

I had become really good friends with my neighbor in the past 2 years, to the point that we'd hang out all the time, had each other's keys, helped ourselves in each other's fridge, etc (I live in an apartment building). He recently moved out. Needless to say, I was very sad to imagine him being replaced by a stranger.

I haven't met the new guy yet, but i know (i can hear it) that he always locks his door behind him, whether he goes in his apartment or goes to the laundry room for 5 minutes. Since I still have the keys (and of course he doesn't know that), i was thinking of standing by behind my door when i know he's doing laundry. As soon as he gets out of his place, locks the door and goes to the laundry room, i would just step out of my place, unlock the door, and go back in. I could just fuck with his mind and observe his reaction through the key hole.

If I want to take it a step further, I could go in his place, move a couple of items around and leave. Or, the ultimate nastiness. When he goes to the laundry room, I could jump in his bathroom, take a shit, leave and lock the door. Imagine coming to your house with.... someone else's nasty smell in YOUR OWN bathroom.

Nomad


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Cassandra


Cassandra

Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

Total posts: 4224
Posted:Nomad, take the red pill, NOW... I am really concerned about you

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

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Gruff


member
Location: Gloucester

Total posts: 106
Posted:We had a food theif in our halls at uni and after 2-3 months it wore a bit thin. We got one of our friends who was doin chemistry to get hold of phenolphalamine or phenolphalic acid or something like that - basically a bloody strong laxative where a few drops has VERY desirable affects.

A few drops in milk and a tub of butter and we soon found out who the culprit was.

We were VERY tempted to put cling film over the toilets two but decided that was just TOOOOO cruel. Never happened again!


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master sodium


member
Location: carson city, nevada

Total posts: 536
Posted:I've always wanted to take a beer in a dark bottle, with a twist off cap. empty it properly. replace with urine and place back in the fridge to see who gets the lucky beer. and if anyone does this, dont get too drunk and forget which one it is.

you can't have a war against terrorism because war IS terrorism.it's not about worshipping fire. its about making the fire want to worship you.

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Pele
BRONZE Member since Dec 2000

Pele

the henna lady
Location: WNY, USA

Total posts: 6193
Posted:Nomad, wait until he leaves for a day or two (watch for him to leave with luggage) and then do the crap thing! Or do them all. Start subtle, with the door opening. Then move things around a bit, first small things like a dish or book or something. Then bigger thing, like a lamp. Then turn things that are off on and such. Then caually run into him in the hall and tell him about the murder that happened in his apartment a few years earlier, and did he ever notice strange things happening? The seance the last people had said the spirit was ticked off and trapped! (always remember to use gloves!) Mwahahahahahaha!

Also to this list pennying doors shut or taping open newspapers over the outside frame of an inward opening door, then fill the "barrier" with a bunch of crunched up papers. When the person opens their door, they get buried in an avalanche of papers.
If you don't mind the clatter you can do the same with empty soda cans.

I am glad this subject came up again. I was feeling quite upset and this made me laugh! Thank you!

Oh, another one, for someone with a dishwasher...replace their dishwasher detergent with regular wash water detergent. I bubbles right out of the machine...it is really funny!


Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

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