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Forums > Social Chat > When Jehovas Witnesses Knock...

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:i would like to start with that i dont mean offence to anyone who is a jehovas witness or mormon. to be honest i actually think they have a lot of guts to do what they do!

but i had a visit from 2 today. the first ive had in years. and of course now that they've left i think of all the smart-ass questions.

but to start off with my bloody dog! she's big. and usually she growls when people come at the door (cos she's a cowardly thing!)....and guess what! the JWs arrive and she decides to just pace the hallway!
so i was poilte at first...said i didnt believe in god, believed in evolution (she found it difficult to believe in evolution! and creationism isnt more hard to believe??!!) then i asked why they didnt take blood transfusions...that was more like it! things got more interesting!

but of course i thort of all the other really good questions once the door was shut...the reason they dont take blood is cos it says so in the bible...but in the bible it says "thou shall consume the herb of the land" which is the rastafarians excuse for the pot smoking...so i should have asked about that! ubblol


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)


Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California

Total posts: 2905
Posted:Mike, it is a fair parallel, even your example is fair. My job is to follow orders, even if I don't like it. I will respect your request to leave your work out of it though.

Did you know that by law, that they can send you as many emails as they want, come to your house whenever they want, even call you on the phone! Untill you put a "no soliciter" sign on your door you can't say anything to the law about them. Untill you make use of the "don't call list" you can't say anything about them calling you and I do highly suggest that you just get an email with a spam blocker on it, or just change emails.

Kaji, what you said may not have been a quote from something you said but it was still vulgar.

Quote:
for me a JW encounter would go like this:

asleep in bed minding my own business
Kazeko (grumbling sleeply and poking me): There's someone knocking on the f**king door.
I'm now half awake with no intention of untangling myself from Kazeko and geting out of our warm bed to answer the door.
Me ( thinking it's just the super saying she's going to be away for a week): They'll go away just go back to sleep hun.
they don't go away
Me (grumbling as I walked to the door}: This had better be bloody important...
I open the door and look out into the hallway. oh you're f**king me!
JW 1 and 2 (as the always travel in pairs): Good Morning!
Me (thinking): what the h*ll's morning?
JW 1: Have you found Jesus yet my son
oh I ain't your son buddy, if I were I'd shot myself
Me: Yah he's in the living room drinking beer and downloading porn off kazza
provided they don't leave at this point
JW 2: To speak of the king in such a way is sinful
ignoring that
Me: Why are you still here? How the f**k did you get in here anyway?
JW: I think you need to read Watchtower my child your language is vile
if he calls me child or son one more time that stack of watchtowers is going up his @ss
Me: If I take your hate material will you bugger off?
JW: yes
I take the WT and slam the door. And walk over to my patio doors while crumpling the WT in a tight ball. Then Opening the door I throw the WT ball with all my strength at the head of the nearest JW walking away from the building. Then going back to bed and telling Kazeko it was JW's and going back to sleep. The alarm goes off 5 minutes later. AARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!.




Ohh sure you censored yourself but it isnt like you can't tell what you're saying.

Well either way, it was just an example of how worse things have been said and yet look... three or four posts into my return and kapow it is the World against Ray and I have yet to say anything really that wrong.


Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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coleman
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

coleman

big and good and broken
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay

Total posts: 7330
Posted:Quote:
I'll look in from time to time, just to see who is causing what grief, perhaps if you are lucky I'll cause a little of my own!







ubblol [censored]!n righteous sig ray biggrin



hope you are keeping well wave


"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood

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coleman
SILVER Member since Aug 2002

coleman

big and good and broken
Location: lunn dunn, yoo kay

Total posts: 7330
Posted:Quote:
Well I see that people have been talking about me once again! You would think that when someone leaves for a little while that they would all just let the past be the past, oh well it does remind me of a line from a song by my favorite rapper Eminem Everybody wants to discuss me, this must mean Im discussing, but its just me Im just cussing



misquoting your favourite rapper isn't very nice though dude wink

"Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm disgusting
But it's just me I'm just obscene"

i think this line from the same song gives one an impression of the air you give off man:

"But no matter how many fish in the sea
It'll be so empty, without me".


"i see you at 'dis cafe.
i come to 'dis cafe quite a lot myself.
they do porridge."
- tim westwood

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)


Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California

Total posts: 2905
Posted:Coleman, wow, this is a surprise. An old sparing partner returns with a good point. Alas, I must confess that I do not have the song memorized, and it appears that I did misquote it. Ohh well... if I was perfect, the world would end, so I guess that it is a good thing that I make errors. Thank you for pointing that out, and your little addition is well... it wouldn't be my choice of words but I'll take it as the compliment that it is. smile

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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joe_sixsteps


joe_sixsteps

mULti-torTOISe
Location: Kent currently, Cornwall soon,...

Total posts: 310
Posted:Quote:
I mean doing drugs is fine if you're not hurting anyone



Wow! That's quite a change of stance from when I first logged onto this board.

Back on topic, I really like JWs. I've never had a problem with asking them to leave, and when I do feel like talking they are generally prepared to go as far as any one of the many dead ends that religious debates always come to. Just like telemarketers, it can be annoying when you're asleep, or in another part of the house or something, and I would prefer it if they waited to be approached by people who wanted to know about their beliefs instead of pushing them onto other people... but look at it from their perspective for a minute:

If you really, truly believed that you knew the only way to heaven, and that everyone who didn't follow that way was going to be tortured in fire for the rest of eternity... wouldn't you try and get people to follow your way? I am a total atheist, but one thing I think about religion these days is how strange it is that people are embarrassed to bring it up - it's as though it's a faux pas to mention religion. That's such a shame. Our beliefs about the big questions of existence form the foundation to so many aspects of our personalities - discussing someones beliefs with them is always interesting.

I have much less sympathy for the telemarketers. We only ever seem to get calls from people who want us to buy a conservatory, and I always chat away to them quite happily:
"Will it deflect Upsilon waves? I'm very worried about Upsilon waves."
"Er... I'll just have to check that with my supervisor..."
"Certainly. I don't mind waiting..."

tongue


The Confusion Squid has many tentacles

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Raymund Phule (Fireproof)


Raymund Phule (Fireproof)

Enter a "Title" here:
Location: San Diego California

Total posts: 2905
Posted:haha, no Joe, I don't think that doing drugs is fine, I was using it as an example of the hipocritical nature some here are blind to. But I do enjoy your jest with the telemarketers. For once we see eye to eye on something, and I am speaking of the JWs.

Some Jarhead last night: "this dumb a$$ thinks hes fireproof"

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:i love telemarketers who dont actually know anything about the product they're selling! SO funny!

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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clarence_quack
SILVER Member since Feb 2005

clarence_quack

QuackerJack
Location: over your left shoulder

Total posts: 1927
Posted:This thread is still making me giggle.


How I love living on a big hill. We get doorknocked once a year if we're (un)lucky.


Nutella Brigade Unite!

"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge

Owned By Steaks

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Curly_Sue
SILVER Member since Nov 2006

Curly_Sue

laughter is the way to get through life
Location: Inverness

Total posts: 179
Posted:What swines - because it says so in the bible, well you wouldn't believe everything you read in the paper would you. ha ha how stupid must you be. But I tell you if one of there kids needed a blood transfusion they would take it no bother.

I don't get any bother from them cos I put a please give blood sticker on the door. ha ha just brings in the vampires but they are better craic anyway.


I fell down a hill once, got up then fell down it again.

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clarence_quack
SILVER Member since Feb 2005

clarence_quack

QuackerJack
Location: over your left shoulder

Total posts: 1927
Posted:I wouldn't go as far as to call them swines- They follow their beliefs, and it's not up to us to judge them for that. While I don't agree with their religion (and I intensely dislike having someone trying to convert me, whatever religion it may be), what gives us the right to judge them for it and insult them?


I have done nursing, and as a result seen many Jehovas Witnesses, and mormons in general, refuse blood transfusion, even when it puts their recovery and sometimes lives in jepordy. So to claim that they would "take it no bother" is grossly mis-represented.


Nutella Brigade Unite!

"Look! I have a rainbow penis!" - Rouge

Owned By Steaks

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Curly_Sue
SILVER Member since Nov 2006

Curly_Sue

laughter is the way to get through life
Location: Inverness

Total posts: 179
Posted:ooooops I just used to get cranky when they would get me out of my bed early on the weekend. hehe

I fell down a hill once, got up then fell down it again.

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MagsKat
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

MagsKat

Don't feed her cookies
Location: Surrey side

Total posts: 113
Posted:I have about 20 of them (JW) living at the of my road, it's annoying. When my gran was still alive she would have to get up and answer the door to them everything.. which i feel is rude on their part.

If i feel the need for a religon then i will seek it out, you do not have to come find me!

Not So long ago i was in town ( i live in what can be described a yob/ chav central) and low and behod we had a muslim group trying to do a mass conversion RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN!

HC's are always wandering round town and they smell awful..

I don't care who you worship as long as you are clean, and you keep your religious views to yourself smile


Formally known as kat224

We are not friends.. we never were.. but if i was part of your life then i thank you

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MagsKat
BRONZE Member since Mar 2017

MagsKat

Don't feed her cookies
Location: Surrey side

Total posts: 113
Posted:Oh and my favorite 'have you found God?' reply is...
'No, i didn't know he was missing. But when you find him can you ask him to bring sexy back!'


Formally known as kat224

We are not friends.. we never were.. but if i was part of your life then i thank you

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Curly_Sue
SILVER Member since Nov 2006

Curly_Sue

laughter is the way to get through life
Location: Inverness

Total posts: 179
Posted: Written by: kat224


Oh and my favorite 'have you found God?' reply is...
'No, i didn't know he was missing. But when you find him can you ask him to bring sexy back!'



Ha ha I will have to remember that if they ever come a knocking. I always answer the door and you can't help being nice cos all of the JWs that stay round my area have a little trick of taking cute little children carrying flowers with them.


I fell down a hill once, got up then fell down it again.

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Mynci
BRONZE Member since Apr 2005

Mynci

Macaque of all trades
Location: wombling free...

Total posts: 8737
Posted:my friend asked who built the city of Nod Kane was banished to for killing able..

I normally stick to saying I don't join cults unless they feed me some freaky punch and ask me to take off all my clothes biggrin (Bless biodome for that ubblol )


A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:I probably said it earlier, but I can't respect a religion which condones the murder of innocent children.

Yes, I consider the refusal of life-saving blood-transfusions for children murder, and the state has every right to take the child away from the abusive parents.


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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Curly_Sue
SILVER Member since Nov 2006

Curly_Sue

laughter is the way to get through life
Location: Inverness

Total posts: 179
Posted: Written by: Rouge Dragon


I probably said it earlier, but I can't respect a religion which condones the murder of innocent children.

Yes, I consider the refusal of life-saving blood-transfusions for children murder, and the state has every right to take the child away from the abusive parents.



Good call. peace


I fell down a hill once, got up then fell down it again.

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Fine_Rabid_Dog


Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...

Total posts: 10530
Posted:Damn this thread had some serious beef in it!

I've never been hit by the JWs, but when I was at my induction week for uni, these two friendly guys came over and introduce themselves to me.

Which was pretty nice. I'm pretty shy, and uni is massive so I was well nervous, so I instantly tried to get on with them.

They asked my name, asked what I was doing (I was reading and listening to some tunes). I discovered one of them liked the offspring... which was ace.

Then they asked if I was interested in joining a society. A bible one.

I was like "Nah, not really my scene. I'm an atheist."

Completley unphased by this, they carried on. They asked if any evidence was presented to me, would I change my mind.

So I told them that if J to the C or even the Big G Man himself were to grab me by the neck and go "I'm real, moron" I'd probably change my mind.

So they said that they had some evidence for me. They handed me some pieces of paper.

On it were quotes. From the Bible. Laaaaaaaaame!

I laughed and told 'em to bugger off.

Job done. smile


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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Curly_Sue
SILVER Member since Nov 2006

Curly_Sue

laughter is the way to get through life
Location: Inverness

Total posts: 179
Posted:Ha ha yea I had that done to me . it is classic no proof there at all. If that is all that got them into it then they must be well gullible. weavesmiley

I fell down a hill once, got up then fell down it again.

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Fine_Rabid_Dog


Internet Hate Machine
Location: They seek him here, they seek ...

Total posts: 10530
Posted:What really stunned me was that I had said "If there was some real empirical evidence, I'd change my mind. But not like... anything from the bible... I mean, I've read it, and it doesn't come anywhere near close to convincing me."

"We have some evidence"

"Oh sweet. Lemme see... Uhu... Quotes.. from the bible..."

"Yeah, these are good. Lemme just put my number down so you can call us and let us know what you think."

"Oh yeah, I'll totally give you a ring."

*Burns paper. Uses it to light cig*


The existance of flamethrowers says that someone, somewhere, at sometime said "I need to set that thing on fire, but it's too far away."

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Lizzybeth


Lizzybeth

Lizzy hearts sunshine hoop
Location: midlands!

Total posts: 272
Posted:i dont mind them talking....just not at me. i once closed the door on a group of them and they just kept going and shouted through the doors at me instead. very rude me thinks...

if i could be a busy busy bee...

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JauntyJames
SILVER Member since Dec 2004

JauntyJames

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Hampshire College, MA, USA

Total posts: 3533
Posted: Written by: Doc Lightning


A friend of mine who grew up Jewish in Salt Lake City once answered the door to two LDS (Latter Day Saints/Mormon) missionaries wearing nothing but a towel.

Since they are supposed to keep their minds pure for the two years of their mission, they both turned heel and RAN. ubblol



A friend of mine did one better. He was lounging about in his bathrobe when they came to the door. He asked that they hold on while he got some clothes on. Then he closed the door, took off the bathrobe, waited a minute, then opened it again stark naked. The locked eye contact and got through their entire speech before getting out of there very quickly.

The next year they came back and he was a bit at a loss as to how he could possibly harass them worse.


-James

"How do you know if you're happy or sad without a mask? Or angry? Or ready for dessert?"

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Rouge Dragon
BRONZE Member since Jul 2003

Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction

Total posts: 13215
Posted:We met some mormons in Japan. We taught them how to play cricket and we even got them to admit that they liked it more than baseball! ubbrollsmile

*does the 'i converted a mormon' dance*


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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hamamelis
BRONZE Member since Jan 2006

hamamelis

nut.
Location: Bouncing off the walls.

Total posts: 756
Posted:My parent's zoo is evolution themed, and just down the road from the local Kingdom Hall..

I can cope with it at home, I can say what I want, and shut the door when I want, but behind the counter in the entrance/shop, when they won't go away, and get in the way of other customers.. and you can't shout at them because there are customers with kids present..
mad2

Mind you, we got way beyond the leaflets- they were actually leaving leather-bound books for a while.. but I think they've given up now.. after 15 years..


THE MEEK WILL INHERIT THE EARTH!


If that's okay with you?

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DarkFyre
BRONZE Member since Nov 2005

DarkFyre

HoP mage and keeper of the fireballs
Location: Palmerston North

Total posts: 1965
Posted:Round my way all of the door knockers are little old ladys and young children.

I'm an evil sod at time so if the JoHo's knock on my door I attempt to convet them to a differnt religion.

I allways keep my manners about me because it's more fun to scare them away when you are being nice to them.

I converted to Paganism a few year ago (as it feels more natural to me) and I just so happen to have a book case with pagan books in very close proximity to my front door smile

From this bookcase I will grab any book with a big pentagram on the front cover and I will invite them in for a chat about religion and a cup of tea.

The book trick offten scares them away but I did have one couple that came in, 2 little old ladys.

I had to laugh coz my lounge looks like halloween all year round and the look of terror as the little old ladys ran (or a very brisk hobble) from my door is somewhat amusing.


* this thread really belongs in the social discusion forum*


May my balls of fire set your balls on fire devil

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Curly_Sue
SILVER Member since Nov 2006

Curly_Sue

laughter is the way to get through life
Location: Inverness

Total posts: 179
Posted: Written by: dizzypheonix



Round my way all of the door knockers are little old ladys and young children.



I'm an evil sod at time so if the JoHo's knock on my door I attempt to convet them to a differnt religion.



I allways keep my manners about me because it's more fun to scare them away when you are being nice to them.



I converted to Paganism a few year ago (as it feels more natural to me) and I just so happen to have a book case with pagan books in very close proximity to my front door smile



From this bookcase I will grab any book with a big pentagram on the front cover and I will invite them in for a chat about religion and a cup of tea.



The book trick offten scares them away but I did have one couple that came in, 2 little old ladys.



I had to laugh coz my lounge looks like halloween all year round and the look of terror as the little old ladys ran (or a very brisk hobble) from my door is somewhat amusing.





* this thread really belongs in the social discusion forum*





Ha ha must invest in a pagan book after all they are a very good class of people and it seems soo much more natural, something you would think that a god would actually want. angelblue Oh yea and they don't tent to come a knocking.

EDITED_BY: laurs_chalmers (1193686687)


I fell down a hill once, got up then fell down it again.

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Hanz


Hanz

veteran
Location: Bendigo, Vic, Australia

Total posts: 1328
Posted:What would happen if pagan's did start door knocking for their beliefs like the JoHo's do?

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hamamelis
BRONZE Member since Jan 2006

hamamelis

nut.
Location: Bouncing off the walls.

Total posts: 756
Posted:I really want to do that someday.. Print out a 'Your local Satanist Community welcomes you' leaflet- stick it under people's doors, inviting them to a fictional meeting, with 'bring a chicken or goat, and a sharp knife. Or a cake.' on the end.. Then hide over the road and see who shows.. wink

And yes, I do know the difference between Paganism and Satanism, before people start objecting.. I just enjoy winding people up..


THE MEEK WILL INHERIT THE EARTH!


If that's okay with you?

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The Tea Fairy
SILVER Member since Jul 2004

The Tea Fairy

old hand
Location: Behind you...

Total posts: 853
Posted:ubblol

Idolized by Aurinoko

Take me disappearing through the smoke rings of my mind....

Bob Dylan

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Curly_Sue
SILVER Member since Nov 2006

Curly_Sue

laughter is the way to get through life
Location: Inverness

Total posts: 179
Posted: Written by: Hanz


What would happen if pagan's did start door knocking for their beliefs like the JoHo's do?



I would have to welcom them in, get more sence out of a pagan that you do me somedays. can't say the same for the JWs ubbloco


I fell down a hill once, got up then fell down it again.

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