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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:This is the official post for the singles in opposition to the love post!

(im going to laugh so much is Vanize makes a singles topic at the same time! lol!)


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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ickleMatt
ickleMatt

enthusiast
Location: L.O.N.D.O.N.
Member Since: 4th Apr 2006
Total posts: 242
Posted:Sezzie,

Please stop me if I ramble... but this is something I have thought about myself.

We are all inside our own narrative of our lives; we are constructing the story about ourselves as we go - ie. who we are. If it is a story where currently we are currently single, then being single is a theme of the story. But the thing about stories is that you can't always tell whats going to happen around the corner... especially when you have a say on what happens.

Looking at other peoples life stories (esp through Hollywood) you have a more objective view of the themes and events in the story; you get to see the story unfold from the outside and you don't feel trapped by the themes.

So I guess I'm saying is that don't assume that being single will always be a theme of your life; because then it has the danger of become a self fulfilling assumption. And, further, change in one area of life percipitates changes in another.

Finally, I don't think that it is healthy to say that "I'll be happy if only I had such and such, or if I was with so and so" because that is making your happiness dependant on something you don't have control over; a dangerous business that will surely lead to tears. Happiness should be something you have innately and anything, such as being in a relationship, that makes you happier is a wonderful thing.

So, if you managed to get to the end of my post, when you move to London PM me and maybe we could hook up for a drink? biggrin


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Birgit
Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 4145
Posted:Hey Sezzie!

I'm happily single at the moment. I'm not planning to stay single for the rest of my life (but we never know what life brings...!). But right now, I feel that I wouldn't be able to commit to a relationship for various reasons, mostly time, and that having one would be bad for both people involved. I'm working a lot, doing a lot of stuff aside from work, and am planning to go travelling once my current project's finished, so for me right now I'm happier as a single than I would be with someone smile

Hopefully I'll find someone one day that I want to be with so much that I'll be happy in a relationship, and for long, but until then the occasional "awwww! I wish that could be me!" is only natural. I've realised though that for most people I know the "awwww! I wish that could be me!" was accompanied by a "well, not really, I wouldn't be happy with that and that and that" wink takes away some of the jealousy.


"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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poig
poig

marmite and nutella sandwich
Location: Farnborough, Hampshire
Member Since: 19th Jun 2006
Total posts: 1590
Posted: Written by: Sezzie


So I'm wondering is anyone really happy being a singleton?
I used to claim to be, but that was before I'd really had a proper relationship (I was a late starter) and because I didn't want anyone else to know that I cared!!

Now I just depress myself by watching films where fate always plays the right hand and everyone meets their soul mate and lives happily ever after!! Why oh why do I do that? I just watched my sister get married and I've never seen her look so happy! i just wonder sometimes whether that'll ever be me!!

Sorry just watched another sappy romantic film and am feeling unloved and unwanted! redface



Nope ubbcrying


THE hop Pyro.
(with parents)
Unowned

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Aurinko
Aurinko

hello!
Location: Amsterdam
Member Since: 1st Aug 2006
Total posts: 1034
Posted:*runs in, hugs everyone, runs out again*

a swapped test-playboy, set free by NOn, idolizing the tea fairy; Dragosani spiritual freedom agreement reached 18th Sept 2006

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BansheeCat
veteran
Location: lost
Member Since: 29th Jul 2005
Total posts: 1247
Posted:Truly, my state of happiness/saddness has little to do with whether I am single or not...

I have been both profoundly elated and profoundly depressed- and the usual ranges in between- during the whole length of my marriage- over ten years. And I have experienced those things as a single, or more acurately dating, person too. No more or less, really.

grouphug


"God *was* my co-pilot, but then we crashed, and I had to eat him..."

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Brenn
Brenn

Will carpal your tunnel in a minute.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 28th Jun 2004
Total posts: 3286
Posted: Written by: Sezzie


So I'm wondering is anyone really happy being a singleton?
I used to claim to be, but that was before I'd really had a proper relationship (I was a late starter) and because I didn't want anyone else to know that I cared!!

Now I just depress myself by watching films where fate always plays the right hand and everyone meets their soul mate and lives happily ever after!! Why oh why do I do that? I just watched my sister get married and I've never seen her look so happy! i just wonder sometimes whether that'll ever be me!!

Sorry just watched another sappy romantic film and am feeling unloved and unwanted! redface



*huge hugs*

For most of the time I'm usually happy despite my status, but when that gets challenged and I feel like there's a chance i could be with someone wonderful, I tend to despair... like I am a bit now frown


ॐ

Owner of burningoftheclavey smile
Owned by Lost83spy

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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:I'm happily single until I find someone I like...then I HATE being single and bump this thread again to have a bitch about it! ubblol

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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Brenn
Brenn

Will carpal your tunnel in a minute.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 28th Jun 2004
Total posts: 3286
Posted: Written by: Rouge Dragon


I'm happily single until I find someone I like...then I HATE being single and bump this thread again to have a bitch about it! ubblol



*cue resounding ditto* ubbrollsmile


ॐ

Owner of burningoftheclavey smile
Owned by Lost83spy

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Birgit
Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 4145
Posted:Now, if I had the chance to be with someone who can make me laugh and is silly and random enough to put up with me and has LOTS of time for me when I need it and can afford it, but leaves me alone when I need time for myself without complaining, who doesn't have to be rich but has enough money to go travelling for a weekend or so from time to time without it being a huge problem, and who happens to be agreeably-looking and fantastic in other respects... well! THEN I'd be annoyed to be single! ubblol Asking much? Then I can hardly complain I guess...

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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Sezzie
Sezzie

journeyman
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 12th Sep 2006
Total posts: 54
Posted:Matt - thankx for the ramble. I liked your perspective!!

And for the hugs from others!! It made me smile! smile

Its funny how I get sometimes as I'm not one of those people who constantly needs a man. I'm independant - very!!!! and like my own company. Its just sometimes I get a bit "nobody loves me everyone hates me. Think I'll go and eat worms". The world view of finding the perfect partner just accerbates that sometimes.

But today I'm glad to say that I'm pretty darn happy!!! Just the way I am! And I'm looking forward to moving to London and meeting some fellow hoppers. I don't know too many people in the big smoke or about the best it has to offer so will definitely hold you to the drink offer Matt!! sunny


Life moves pretty fast and if you don't stop and look around once in a while you just might miss it!

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blu_valley
blu_valley

fluffy mess
Location: Brighton
Member Since: 8th Apr 2005
Total posts: 197
Posted:I'm quite happy being single. Everytime a budding relationship looms...I tend to quash it quite quickly...not because I enjoy being single...but because I'm tired of wasting my time.

I have to protect myself from my notorious bad taste and miserable mistakes ubblol

I am happy in the knowledge that when I am ready, and the right person comes along, I'll know it. Luckily though, I have a vary close-nit group of friends around me, and live with three beautiful people who never allow me to feel lonely or unloved, so I'm not pushed into relationships for the wrong reasons.

smile


"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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Circus Midget
Circus Midget

newbie
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Member Since: 30th May 2005
Total posts: 45
Posted:Perhaps people have an innate need to pair up, do you think we can truly be happy as singles?

"It was me! I was the turkey all along!"

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Pogo69
Pogo69

there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
Location: limbo
Member Since: 6th Apr 2006
Total posts: 3764
Posted:of course we can (generically), midget... I\\\'m at my most happy right now, a year and a few months away from a 10 year relationship. and if I could get work to slow down (which is likely to happen soon - YAY!!) I don\\\'t reckon life could get much better.

that doesn\\\'t mean I\\\'m averse to being in a relationship; I\\\'m certainly in no hurry to make it happen, but my happiness is not contingent upon it.

it all sounds a bit cliche, but it\\\'s true... you CAN NOT be truly happy in a relationship, unless you can first be happy in and by yourself.


ARRRGGGHH... back at work and the stupid backslashes \\\\ are back!! it\\\'s going to make me stop using conjunctions...


--pogo (pat) [forever and always]

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GitasGuy
GitasGuy

Pooh-Bah
Location: Brisbane
Member Since: 6th Jun 2006
Total posts: 2303
Posted:Do you put them in my thread mister pogo!! To you corrupt my title with you \\\\\\. Huh, did ya!!! confused ubbrollsmile

:admires giant wooden aeroplane: Its about time trees were good for something, instead of just standing their like jerks!!! ubblol ubbtickled

Homer rocks!!!! ubblol ubbrollsmile

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Pogo69
Pogo69

there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
Location: limbo
Member Since: 6th Apr 2006
Total posts: 3764
Posted:ye, I did ... frown

sorry, I did it for an accident... and I meant contractions, not conjunctions... stupid language stuff...


--pogo (pat) [forever and always]

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Birgit
Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 4145
Posted:I'm not sure about the being "truly happy" - I'm one of those people who's never quite 100% happy, but not in a horrible depressed kind of way. So I'd say it's possible to be AS happy with or without a relationship wink

"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:I think that theoretically, as humans we can be truly happy without being in a relationship. However because of the nature of society, we cannot in reality be truly happy single. however, i also don't know squat about psychology in this department. psychologically we do need love and compassion, therefore perhaps we are supposed to pair up. other animals do for life, so why not us.

rougie, gett out of here, you're talking crap cos you like the sound of english right now to remind you that you speak something that resembles it. blah blah blah. oh god you're talking to yourself.


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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Brenn
Brenn

Will carpal your tunnel in a minute.
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Member Since: 28th Jun 2004
Total posts: 3286
Posted: Written by: Rouge Dragon


I think that theoretically, as humans we can be truly happy without being in a relationship. However because of the nature of society, we cannot in reality be truly happy single. however, i also don't know squat about psychology in this department. psychologically we do need love and compassion, therefore perhaps we are supposed to pair up. other animals do for life, so why not us.

rougie, gett out of here, you're talking crap cos you like the sound of english right now to remind you that you speak something that resembles it. blah blah blah. oh god you're talking to yourself.



Yeah, get back to your assignments :P


ॐ

Owner of burningoftheclavey smile
Owned by Lost83spy

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Dentrassi
Dentrassi

ZORT!
Location: Brisbane
Member Since: 9th Apr 2003
Total posts: 3044
Posted:i agree tongue

"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.

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Aurinko
Aurinko

hello!
Location: Amsterdam
Member Since: 1st Aug 2006
Total posts: 1034
Posted:no idea what you're all talking about, but I also agree

a swapped test-playboy, set free by NOn, idolizing the tea fairy; Dragosani spiritual freedom agreement reached 18th Sept 2006

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Bek66
Bek66

Future Mrs Pogo
Location: The wrong place
Member Since: 27th Aug 2006
Total posts: 4728
Posted:The nature of the heart is that it yearns for it's other...we can be happy on our own, but the heart always seems to draw us inexorably onward, no matter our intentions otherwise.

I never look for what's next...just know that you have to go with the natural flow of life...whatever happens...

Life and love are a journey...I say enjoy the trip!!!
smile heart ubbrollsmile heart smile


"Absence is to love what wind is to fire...it extinguishes the small, enkindles the great."
--Comte Debussy-Rebutin

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Aurinko
Aurinko

hello!
Location: Amsterdam
Member Since: 1st Aug 2006
Total posts: 1034
Posted:Hei Dentrassi, I just saw your signature: not funny! O.k., in a certain way it is ...
whatever


a swapped test-playboy, set free by NOn, idolizing the tea fairy; Dragosani spiritual freedom agreement reached 18th Sept 2006

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Dragosani
Dragosani

sunset seadragon
Location: some little fluffy clouds
Member Since: 2nd Jun 2005
Total posts: 679
Posted:If I had a hammer, a hammer in the morning... biggrin

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. - Oscar Wilde
Jointly owned by FreyaJ, Birgit and Aurinko

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Hugging_Lion
Meep
Location: I'm lost
Member Since: 5th Oct 2005
Total posts: 166
Posted:I've only ever been in one relationship. I've been single for a long time. I don't have a problem with being single. Its the rare times that I find myself truly liking someone.. only for that not to be returned that sucks. But hey.. you get used to it.

All matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration. Life is but a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.

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Sezzie
Sezzie

journeyman
Location: Bristol
Member Since: 12th Sep 2006
Total posts: 54
Posted:HG Been there too!!! Was kinda in love with the same guy for about 10 years - best mates and all that jazz! He now lives with his girlfriend.... But I'd rather be mates with him than nothing at all and i hate to admit it but his girlie is lovely!

Life moves pretty fast and if you don't stop and look around once in a while you just might miss it!

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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:I have just named my pillows.

My triangle pillow is called Rohan. And my normal pillow is called Archer.

So now when I'm upset I'm going to go to bed and snuggle Archer, or Rohan or Archer and Rohan!

I'm not a sad basket case at all. Nope, nope.


i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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Pogo69
Pogo69

there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
Location: limbo
Member Since: 6th Apr 2006
Total posts: 3764
Posted:a threesome, rougie?!?! I\'m shocked... eek

--pogo (pat) [forever and always]

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Rouge Dragon
Rouge Dragon

Insert Champagne Here
Location: without class distinction
Member Since: 21st Jul 2003
Total posts: 13215
Posted:I'm lonely.

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...

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Pogo69
Pogo69

there's no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness
Location: limbo
Member Since: 6th Apr 2006
Total posts: 3764
Posted:awwww

*hands rougie a full length shnuggle pillow*


--pogo (pat) [forever and always]

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Birgit
Birgit

had her carpal tunnel surgery already thanks v much
Location: Edinburgh
Member Since: 27th Jan 2005
Total posts: 4145
Posted:teehee... I have THREE pillows! And a big cuddly penguin ubblove

I've posted this on my myspace blog already, but I think it's a wonderful song to make me think about what I'm really looking for smile


Rufus Wainwright - Want ubblove

I don't want to make it rain, I just want to make it simple
I don't want to see the light, I just want to see the flashlight
I don't want to know the answers to any of your questions
I don't want, no I really don't want to be John Lennon or Leonard Cohen

I just want to be my Dad with a slight sprinkling of my mother
And work at the family store, and take orders from the counter
I don't want to know the answers to any of your questions
I don't want, no I really don't want to be John Lithgow or Jane Curtin

But I'll settle for love
Yeah I'll settle for love

Before I reached the gate I realized I had packed my passport
Before security realizes I had one more bag left
I just want to know if something's coming for to get me
Tell me, will you make me sad or happy?

And will you settle for love?
Will you settle for love?


"vices are like genitals - most are ugly to behold, and yet we find that our own are dear to us."
(G.W. Dahlquist)

Owner of Dragosani's left half

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