Forums > Social Chat > Reconstructive surgery
Login/Join to ParticipateBRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Posted:
Well today after months of consideration i have made an appointment with my doctor for wednesday afternoon.
For several months now i have been contemplating reconstructive surgery on my ears, for those people that know me, met me or seen photos, will know i have 44mm flesh tunnels in my ears.
I have spent some time today researching into methods of surgery, and i actually found that i am not alone in the world, i found some one else in the UK still awaiting an appointment with a surgeon and some one in Florida who has just had surgery and both these people have large guage tunnels like myself.
Well i am exremly nervous about what i will look like after surgery and i am hoping that it's not going to take long to get it done with the trusty NHS, or if i should go private, but not having a job right now that isn;t really a possiblitity.
well tommorrow i have another interview for a job, tempory until christmas, so i hope i get it so that i have some money for the time being, i have just been turned down for an other job because of my ears and have been faced with many knockbacks and people that do not take me seriously for who i am and not what i look like. Though the last interview went really well, i am still disheartened as to not accepeted for the job on the basis that i have my ears they way they are.
Over the 7/8 years i have had my ears modded the way they are, and all of the questioning and abusive comments made at me for my choice of doing what i wanted to do to my own body, i am saddened as to have to be in this situation.
It worries me that, now that i have made the first steps which is my own choice and no pressure from any one, how long its going to take, i need a job now, i can no longer support myself the way i have been and i desperatly do not want to have to be on the Dole / job seekers, but i am having no choice but to do so, i have found that since starting my spiritual journey into body modification how society has changed so much as i have grown older and wiser. I have thought many a time on why should i change who i am now, but things come and go, over the past few years i have removed piercings here and there, done this and that, but there comes a point where things have to change, i want to work, i dont want to be claiming benefits, i enjoy working too much, but i also want to be taken seriously and not have to suffer from abuse, people cant be honest thats their problem, which is why i respect the friends that i have and the support they give me on a personal level.
Many people are going to ask me why i did it, but they asked me that before anyway, thats life, its a learning curve, things seem good at the time and were faced with arrogance towards our selves and do not want to conform and do not feel that we have to. But in my eyes society is right in many ways, i have spent many years looking at it from all angles, and i am truly thankful that the firends i have in this world can take me for who i am and what i do and my goals in life.
I am felling very secluded right now, and have many personal issues which i am dealing with, but the sense of what is to come in the future is a step in the right direction for me, not to conform to society just because i cant get a job, but to conform because i can and IT being my decission alone.
well i am going to keep documents on my journey to normalism, but with reliefe that i am not alone in this world, there are others out there that have been faced with the same dilema's society has thrown at them, and the choice personally about what changes can be made to make things better.
I dont think i am truly sad about making this decission, i will probably miss having my tunnels, but at the end of the day, knowing what i know now over these years i wish time could be turned back and i wouldnt have made some of my chocies that i did make.
Thinks i am looking forward too: Eating in a restraunt with out people pointing and looking disgusted as i walk in. Walking down the street in any town or city with out people asking questions all of the time. People taking me serious because i do not stand out in the crowds. I could go on forever, but personally conforming to suit my self and not others is a big step to take.
Well i am looking forward to my appointment on wednesday, but i wish it was this afternoon instead.
Well today after months of consideration i have made an appointment with my doctor for wednesday afternoon.
For several months now i have been contemplating reconstructive surgery on my ears, for those people that know me, met me or seen photos, will know i have 44mm flesh tunnels in my ears.
I have spent some time today researching into methods of surgery, and i actually found that i am not alone in the world, i found some one else in the UK still awaiting an appointment with a surgeon and some one in Florida who has just had surgery and both these people have large guage tunnels like myself.
Well i am exremly nervous about what i will look like after surgery and i am hoping that it's not going to take long to get it done with the trusty NHS, or if i should go private, but not having a job right now that isn;t really a possiblitity.
well tommorrow i have another interview for a job, tempory until christmas, so i hope i get it so that i have some money for the time being, i have just been turned down for an other job because of my ears and have been faced with many knockbacks and people that do not take me seriously for who i am and not what i look like. Though the last interview went really well, i am still disheartened as to not accepeted for the job on the basis that i have my ears they way they are.
Over the 7/8 years i have had my ears modded the way they are, and all of the questioning and abusive comments made at me for my choice of doing what i wanted to do to my own body, i am saddened as to have to be in this situation.
It worries me that, now that i have made the first steps which is my own choice and no pressure from any one, how long its going to take, i need a job now, i can no longer support myself the way i have been and i desperatly do not want to have to be on the Dole / job seekers, but i am having no choice but to do so, i have found that since starting my spiritual journey into body modification how society has changed so much as i have grown older and wiser. I have thought many a time on why should i change who i am now, but things come and go, over the past few years i have removed piercings here and there, done this and that, but there comes a point where things have to change, i want to work, i dont want to be claiming benefits, i enjoy working too much, but i also want to be taken seriously and not have to suffer from abuse, people cant be honest thats their problem, which is why i respect the friends that i have and the support they give me on a personal level.
Many people are going to ask me why i did it, but they asked me that before anyway, thats life, its a learning curve, things seem good at the time and were faced with arrogance towards our selves and do not want to conform and do not feel that we have to. But in my eyes society is right in many ways, i have spent many years looking at it from all angles, and i am truly thankful that the firends i have in this world can take me for who i am and what i do and my goals in life.
I am felling very secluded right now, and have many personal issues which i am dealing with, but the sense of what is to come in the future is a step in the right direction for me, not to conform to society just because i cant get a job, but to conform because i can and IT being my decission alone.
well i am going to keep documents on my journey to normalism, but with reliefe that i am not alone in this world, there are others out there that have been faced with the same dilema's society has thrown at them, and the choice personally about what changes can be made to make things better.
I dont think i am truly sad about making this decission, i will probably miss having my tunnels, but at the end of the day, knowing what i know now over these years i wish time could be turned back and i wouldnt have made some of my chocies that i did make.
Thinks i am looking forward too: Eating in a restraunt with out people pointing and looking disgusted as i walk in. Walking down the street in any town or city with out people asking questions all of the time. People taking me serious because i do not stand out in the crowds. I could go on forever, but personally conforming to suit my self and not others is a big step to take.
Well i am looking forward to my appointment on wednesday, but i wish it was this afternoon instead.
old hand
725 posts
Location: Chester, UK
725 posts
Location: Chester, UK
Posted:
PK,
I never realised that sort of re-constructive surgery could be done on the NHS. I wish you luck in finding and understanding doctor and team of experts to be able to perform this on you.
I'm saddened that it has had to come to this for you. I've only ever spent a short amount of time with you, but I have seen in that time how society in general reacts to your ears, the comments, the sniggers, the stares. You are not a freak to be laughed at and considered more vulgar, yet this is what happens.
I admire your bravery for being strong enough to stand out in the first place, to be different. To be who you really are, instead of hiding behind normailty as so many do.
Now that you have decided the course of action that you have to take to enable you to get a job, you have mine, and undoubtly everyone else on here, full support. Maybe, after all this has happened, someone else in your position now, will find the documentation you keep of your experiences, and that in turn will help them.
I don't really know what else to add, apart from good luck.
PK,
I never realised that sort of re-constructive surgery could be done on the NHS. I wish you luck in finding and understanding doctor and team of experts to be able to perform this on you.
I'm saddened that it has had to come to this for you. I've only ever spent a short amount of time with you, but I have seen in that time how society in general reacts to your ears, the comments, the sniggers, the stares. You are not a freak to be laughed at and considered more vulgar, yet this is what happens.
I admire your bravery for being strong enough to stand out in the first place, to be different. To be who you really are, instead of hiding behind normailty as so many do.
Now that you have decided the course of action that you have to take to enable you to get a job, you have mine, and undoubtly everyone else on here, full support. Maybe, after all this has happened, someone else in your position now, will find the documentation you keep of your experiences, and that in turn will help them.
I don't really know what else to add, apart from good luck.
Spoiling Christmas for small children since 2003.
I don't want a title.
940 posts
940 posts
Posted:
I admire you for your willingness to change. It takes courage to stand out and sometimes even more courage to fit in, and wisdom to know when to do which. Very proud of you, darlin'.
I admire you for your willingness to change. It takes courage to stand out and sometimes even more courage to fit in, and wisdom to know when to do which. Very proud of you, darlin'.
E pluribus unum, baby.
BRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Carpal \'Tunnel
5,814 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Posted:
I find your ears very eyecatching and think its sad that people have abused you for your own body choices.
I like that you are proud of your choices and good luck in the operation. Hope it all goes to plan.
I find your ears very eyecatching and think its sad that people have abused you for your own body choices.
I like that you are proud of your choices and good luck in the operation. Hope it all goes to plan.
Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?
Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu
member
121 posts
Location: york, uk
121 posts
Location: york, uk
Posted:
PK, would strongly advice you to go private if you can. I have a couple of friends whos have had reconstructive/plastic surgery, and they would have had to wait ages to get it done on the NHS. When you decide to do something as big as this, the last thing you want is a huge wait as im sure its playing on you mind like crazy.. If theres any way you can raise the cash, have the op done private..
PK, would strongly advice you to go private if you can. I have a couple of friends whos have had reconstructive/plastic surgery, and they would have had to wait ages to get it done on the NHS. When you decide to do something as big as this, the last thing you want is a huge wait as im sure its playing on you mind like crazy.. If theres any way you can raise the cash, have the op done private..
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
Hi pk, I composed a reply to your post on pip forum but didn't get round to posting it, so I'll put it here. Gotta say though, I had no idea how much grief you'd got over this, I just assumed it was a problem with getting jobs.
As far as people in restaraunts/public places pointing and commenting, that's really their problem, and a manifestation of their own insecurity- don't take anything bad from the way they are.
I guess I'm lucky that all the mods I've done on myself, the only ones I don't particularly like, and would change if I could, is all the hand done tattooing on my lower legs, and that's only visible if I'm wearing shorts.
I assume you've left the tunnels out to see how much your lobes will shrink on their own?
Anyway, I just want to say that I'm sad that you feel so down over this, and to tell you that as far as I'm concerned your ears are nothing to be ashamed of. If you take the path of surgery I wish you well, and, if you decide not to, I'm sure you can find a place in life where your intelligence and integrity are rightfully given precedence over your ears.
Here's my original reply: -
=============================
Sorry to hear about the job pk.
Did you get feedback on the interview, and did they mention the tunnels/dreads?
I used to be a lot more pierced than I am since you've known me, with an 18mm tunnel, multiple ear, septum spike, navel, eyebrow, genital and occasional arm experiments that grew out.
The only visible stuff I have now is a 10mm tunnel and a tragius (I'll always retain the septum piercing with a keeper cos it has personal significance for me, but I very rarely have anything visible in it). I was surprised at how the tunnel shrank so well; it never quite vanished but at one point seemed to go to about 3mm.
With what I've got now I never give any thought to it, and assume that most people would not consider my appearance unconventional.
It's a shame that there's still a prejudice against piercings at interviews, but I expect this will continue to diminish as body mods have become more mainstream- employers in the next generation are going to be facing a horde of potential employees, a large minority of whom will have unhidable body bods, the rest of whom will have friends who have them.
Whilst it's bad that you didn't get the job, at least you've been a small part of challenging those prejudices by being someone who blatently could have done it and someone who is clearly intelligent.
Also, whilst many company type employers do discriminate against body mods, there are others who value sincerity and life experience more.
Examples are in community/youth work; I've been interviewed by people who look like renegades from Woodstock! It's a little strange to be in an interview wondering if you should take offence at the fact that the person interviewing you couldn't be bothered to have a shave or put on a clean t-shirt.
Try not to get down about it, you've got options i.e. the body mods can be toned down, or you can get work with people that don't discriminate against them; also, there are good aspects to time spent unemployed in terms of the time you have to practise stuff (I can tell you from experience that long stretches of unemployment can definitly boost juggling/skills if it's used well).
Hi pk, I composed a reply to your post on pip forum but didn't get round to posting it, so I'll put it here. Gotta say though, I had no idea how much grief you'd got over this, I just assumed it was a problem with getting jobs.
As far as people in restaraunts/public places pointing and commenting, that's really their problem, and a manifestation of their own insecurity- don't take anything bad from the way they are.
I guess I'm lucky that all the mods I've done on myself, the only ones I don't particularly like, and would change if I could, is all the hand done tattooing on my lower legs, and that's only visible if I'm wearing shorts.
I assume you've left the tunnels out to see how much your lobes will shrink on their own?
Anyway, I just want to say that I'm sad that you feel so down over this, and to tell you that as far as I'm concerned your ears are nothing to be ashamed of. If you take the path of surgery I wish you well, and, if you decide not to, I'm sure you can find a place in life where your intelligence and integrity are rightfully given precedence over your ears.
Here's my original reply: -
=============================
Sorry to hear about the job pk.
Did you get feedback on the interview, and did they mention the tunnels/dreads?
I used to be a lot more pierced than I am since you've known me, with an 18mm tunnel, multiple ear, septum spike, navel, eyebrow, genital and occasional arm experiments that grew out.
The only visible stuff I have now is a 10mm tunnel and a tragius (I'll always retain the septum piercing with a keeper cos it has personal significance for me, but I very rarely have anything visible in it). I was surprised at how the tunnel shrank so well; it never quite vanished but at one point seemed to go to about 3mm.
With what I've got now I never give any thought to it, and assume that most people would not consider my appearance unconventional.
It's a shame that there's still a prejudice against piercings at interviews, but I expect this will continue to diminish as body mods have become more mainstream- employers in the next generation are going to be facing a horde of potential employees, a large minority of whom will have unhidable body bods, the rest of whom will have friends who have them.
Whilst it's bad that you didn't get the job, at least you've been a small part of challenging those prejudices by being someone who blatently could have done it and someone who is clearly intelligent.
Also, whilst many company type employers do discriminate against body mods, there are others who value sincerity and life experience more.
Examples are in community/youth work; I've been interviewed by people who look like renegades from Woodstock! It's a little strange to be in an interview wondering if you should take offence at the fact that the person interviewing you couldn't be bothered to have a shave or put on a clean t-shirt.
Try not to get down about it, you've got options i.e. the body mods can be toned down, or you can get work with people that don't discriminate against them; also, there are good aspects to time spent unemployed in terms of the time you have to practise stuff (I can tell you from experience that long stretches of unemployment can definitly boost juggling/skills if it's used well).
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
My heart goes out to you my homie. I support you in your decision and send you all the warm vibes that I could possibly send.
I know you are deeply loved by many of us and we are all with you in spirit.
Wishing you peace and tranquility in your decision and love and fun in your life.
My heart goes out to you my homie. I support you in your decision and send you all the warm vibes that I could possibly send.
I know you are deeply loved by many of us and we are all with you in spirit.
Wishing you peace and tranquility in your decision and love and fun in your life.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
SILVER Member
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
9,831 posts
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all around the world, USA
Posted:
i don't think i've even seen your ears to begin with. they sound cool. but i understand your decision and fully support you!
i don't think i've even seen your ears to begin with. they sound cool. but i understand your decision and fully support you!
I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
**giggles**
member
313 posts
Location: london,uk
313 posts
Location: london,uk
Posted:
i agree with what one wheel dave said about there being some acceptance out there,i worked with kids and a co worker had similiar body mods and enjoyed complete acceptance from kids and adults alike,it was never an issue.Having said that,i hope you get the help you want and really admire your courage and honesty.
i agree with what one wheel dave said about there being some acceptance out there,i worked with kids and a co worker had similiar body mods and enjoyed complete acceptance from kids and adults alike,it was never an issue.Having said that,i hope you get the help you want and really admire your courage and honesty.
BRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Posted:
Thanks guys its nice to get some outside feedback in a way.
Special thanks to dave too
I will write more when i get more information, but i have found a willing surgeon this afternoon, i have to find £300-£800 for the surgery private in london, but i have talked long and hard with nat and my family this evening, i am going to talk with my doctor on wednesday, and finalise every thing. Then its down to the big part and thats booking my appointment, i can get the surgery done there and then at the consulation, so that is good and at least i will not have the wait that i will expect from the NHS, i'd sooner pay for a quality surgeon than a free one.
well heres to a brighter happier and more spiritual future with me and nancy and all of my friends and familly.
thanks guys.
i want my surgery filming too so i have things to look back on.
i Think my surgery will be on a tuesday, and having to spend a night in london, what better night to be in london, i can goto Spitz lol.
gonna love you all and leave you, need some quality time with nat and the TV and our sofa.
thanks guys.
Thanks guys its nice to get some outside feedback in a way.
Special thanks to dave too
I will write more when i get more information, but i have found a willing surgeon this afternoon, i have to find £300-£800 for the surgery private in london, but i have talked long and hard with nat and my family this evening, i am going to talk with my doctor on wednesday, and finalise every thing. Then its down to the big part and thats booking my appointment, i can get the surgery done there and then at the consulation, so that is good and at least i will not have the wait that i will expect from the NHS, i'd sooner pay for a quality surgeon than a free one.
well heres to a brighter happier and more spiritual future with me and nancy and all of my friends and familly.
thanks guys.
i want my surgery filming too so i have things to look back on.
i Think my surgery will be on a tuesday, and having to spend a night in london, what better night to be in london, i can goto Spitz lol.
gonna love you all and leave you, need some quality time with nat and the TV and our sofa.
thanks guys.
SILVER Member
Liquid Cow
2,629 posts
Location: High Wycombe, England
Liquid Cow
2,629 posts
Location: High Wycombe, England
Posted:
I've always thought your ears were really cool
It's a shame you need to have surgery done to make sure people see past them and don't form opinions based on what's dangling either side of your head
I've always thought your ears were really cool
It's a shame you need to have surgery done to make sure people see past them and don't form opinions based on what's dangling either side of your head
But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
SILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
Posted:
I feel for you.
I myself have had reconstructive surgery on my face. To make it look "normal" so people wouldn't stop and stare as I walked past.
As hard as it was to go through at the time I am now a lot better off for having gone through the whole ordeal and pain of the surgery.
Good luck with it all.
I feel for you.
I myself have had reconstructive surgery on my face. To make it look "normal" so people wouldn't stop and stare as I walked past.
As hard as it was to go through at the time I am now a lot better off for having gone through the whole ordeal and pain of the surgery.
Good luck with it all.
BRONZE Member
Magical Sock Dancer
255 posts
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Magical Sock Dancer
255 posts
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Posted:
Man, that's really sad. I though your ears were really cool. It's sad there's so much discrimination agaist something like this. This has cultural significance too some of the worlds peoples. Judging people by how they look is stupid. This is really sad though.
It's your body PK, do what you like weather it be modifying it or demodifying it.
I feel lucky too work at a place where this stuff doesn't matter, but then again I'm 15 and I'm a lifegaurd.
Does anyone know much more about discrmination agaist body modification, I'd like too read a little more about it?
Man, that's really sad. I though your ears were really cool. It's sad there's so much discrimination agaist something like this. This has cultural significance too some of the worlds peoples. Judging people by how they look is stupid. This is really sad though.
It's your body PK, do what you like weather it be modifying it or demodifying it.
I feel lucky too work at a place where this stuff doesn't matter, but then again I'm 15 and I'm a lifegaurd.
Does anyone know much more about discrmination agaist body modification, I'd like too read a little more about it?
I don't want a title.
940 posts
940 posts
Posted:
Would you please show us what your ears look like before you get the surgery?
Would you please show us what your ears look like before you get the surgery?
E pluribus unum, baby.
geek, level 1
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
5,300 posts
Location: everywhere
Posted:
you just get one of these from me....
an unconditional
you just get one of these from me....
an unconditional
Holistic Spinner (I hope)
member
38 posts
Location: Melbourne...
38 posts
Location: Melbourne...
Posted:
Hey there PK,
God... the world out there can be judgemental huh! Well all I can say is I used to work for NHS.. and it is the most sorry looking health system I have come across... so my advise.. if u can somehow find the money ... go private... much more secure way to go....
Also. for what it counts.. I liked your ears... because they were different and cool!
Good luck...
Jo
Hey there PK,
God... the world out there can be judgemental huh! Well all I can say is I used to work for NHS.. and it is the most sorry looking health system I have come across... so my advise.. if u can somehow find the money ... go private... much more secure way to go....
Also. for what it counts.. I liked your ears... because they were different and cool!
Good luck...
Jo
Start chasing dreams.... one day u may catch them..
SILVER Member
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
veteran
1,433 posts
Location: 8 days at Cloudbreak, 6 in Perth, Australia
Posted:
Yep I know a lot about body discrimination....before I had my operations (all of about 13 odd I believe, I sort of lost track) my face was one of the worst things to look at.
I was teased and mocked where ever I went because of a birth defect that I had passed through my family genes.
Thankfully with all the crap that I put up with I am a lot stronger as a person.
And now if I might say so myself the doctors have done a damn good job at reconstructing my whole face.....
I haven't got any photos scanned in of the before effect....but this is me after the surgery:
https://www.myimgs.com/data/Fitria/meinpink.jpg
I can find some other photos of people who had the same defect as me which could show how bad my face looked before.
If you look close enough under the nose you will see some of the scars that the surgery has left behind.
The tip of the nose is also fake.
Yep I know a lot about body discrimination....before I had my operations (all of about 13 odd I believe, I sort of lost track) my face was one of the worst things to look at.
I was teased and mocked where ever I went because of a birth defect that I had passed through my family genes.
Thankfully with all the crap that I put up with I am a lot stronger as a person.
And now if I might say so myself the doctors have done a damn good job at reconstructing my whole face.....
I haven't got any photos scanned in of the before effect....but this is me after the surgery:
https://www.myimgs.com/data/Fitria/meinpink.jpg
I can find some other photos of people who had the same defect as me which could show how bad my face looked before.
If you look close enough under the nose you will see some of the scars that the surgery has left behind.
The tip of the nose is also fake.
GOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Posted:
I wouldn't count on that, my friend. Just warning you.
Quote:
i want my surgery filming too so i have things to look back on.
I wouldn't count on that, my friend. Just warning you.
-Mike
Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella
A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura
SILVER Member
Mumma Hen
6,391 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Mumma Hen
6,391 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posted:
Oh pk...
remember always that your body is a form of transport, its what we need to get the spirit from A to B... We all love you and respect your spirit and the shell that it resides in and we will forever accept you unconditionally......
After the Col3 video your peircings and tunnels were a topic of discussion in our house hold for a few reasons... firstly because you had the BALLS to be who you wanted to be... without giving a [censored] what anyone else thought of you and also because we were so impressed at how they looked... I love nicely placed piercings...
(Of course the outta sight twirling was also a huge topic of discussion)
I guess I know what its like to be needing to find the balance for what other people find as the "norm" and what they will accept... If surgery will help you in a path that is right for your life right now, then I say go for it bro... I think that you have more spirit and fire in your soul than any of those other brain dead employers, who judge people for the apperance and dont seem to have the depth of understanding or intelligence to look past that... GOD THAT SHITS ME..
It sounds like there are people surrounding you who support and accept you and that is all that matters at the end of the day...
This is something that I feel very passionatly about because I myself could never ever judge people on the way that they look and think that the people who do are pathetic cowards... GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Do what feels right in your heart buddy and let it be known that we will all be here for you..
Oh pk...
remember always that your body is a form of transport, its what we need to get the spirit from A to B... We all love you and respect your spirit and the shell that it resides in and we will forever accept you unconditionally......
After the Col3 video your peircings and tunnels were a topic of discussion in our house hold for a few reasons... firstly because you had the BALLS to be who you wanted to be... without giving a [censored] what anyone else thought of you and also because we were so impressed at how they looked... I love nicely placed piercings...
(Of course the outta sight twirling was also a huge topic of discussion)
I guess I know what its like to be needing to find the balance for what other people find as the "norm" and what they will accept... If surgery will help you in a path that is right for your life right now, then I say go for it bro... I think that you have more spirit and fire in your soul than any of those other brain dead employers, who judge people for the apperance and dont seem to have the depth of understanding or intelligence to look past that... GOD THAT SHITS ME..
It sounds like there are people surrounding you who support and accept you and that is all that matters at the end of the day...
This is something that I feel very passionatly about because I myself could never ever judge people on the way that they look and think that the people who do are pathetic cowards... GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Do what feels right in your heart buddy and let it be known that we will all be here for you..
TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"
SILVER Member
Mumma Hen
6,391 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Mumma Hen
6,391 posts
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posted:
medusa... thanks for sharing your story its very brave of you and I think that you look beautiful...!!!
medusa... thanks for sharing your story its very brave of you and I think that you look beautiful...!!!
TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"
BRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Posted:
doesnt she look beautiful, thanks so much for sharing your story.
Thanks for your support guys, actually i have some rather nice black and white photos in my photo gallery on m site of me in my haydays [poiinthepark.net for those that havnt been to my site]. Its been a very special and very emotional journey that i wish now to come to a close in one sense.
We all have moments where we like some thing or some thing we have done to become individual, but with me it was modding, but as my moods changed and as i got older the mods changed too, i think i have now reached a point that i have grown up, i am still me with or with out mods. [censored] i still have my whole back tattoo to finish one day, i still have my lower sleves to finish too, i still have my beadings in my left arm.
Well after thanking and talking long and hard last night, though not having a source of income right now i can afford it and it is worth me going through with it, i think for all my emotions and feeling to settle down and be at peace with my body its thoroughly worth every penny, its nothing drastic, not like i am going to compete with jordan and her breast's.
I am happy the way i have been in the past and with the way i am now, it doesn't really matter to me anymore but as long as i can enjoy my life with nat and my friends and familly it is normally those people that are so close to me in my personal life that are more effected and dare to show it, not in a nasty way but can point out things that i have grown accustomed to ignoring.
well i have to go and get ready in ARGHH my suit and get to my job interview.
thanks guys.
so go check out my photos, all of them mean so much to me and places and things i have seen or done in the past few years.
doesnt she look beautiful, thanks so much for sharing your story.
Thanks for your support guys, actually i have some rather nice black and white photos in my photo gallery on m site of me in my haydays [poiinthepark.net for those that havnt been to my site]. Its been a very special and very emotional journey that i wish now to come to a close in one sense.
We all have moments where we like some thing or some thing we have done to become individual, but with me it was modding, but as my moods changed and as i got older the mods changed too, i think i have now reached a point that i have grown up, i am still me with or with out mods. [censored] i still have my whole back tattoo to finish one day, i still have my lower sleves to finish too, i still have my beadings in my left arm.
Well after thanking and talking long and hard last night, though not having a source of income right now i can afford it and it is worth me going through with it, i think for all my emotions and feeling to settle down and be at peace with my body its thoroughly worth every penny, its nothing drastic, not like i am going to compete with jordan and her breast's.
I am happy the way i have been in the past and with the way i am now, it doesn't really matter to me anymore but as long as i can enjoy my life with nat and my friends and familly it is normally those people that are so close to me in my personal life that are more effected and dare to show it, not in a nasty way but can point out things that i have grown accustomed to ignoring.
well i have to go and get ready in ARGHH my suit and get to my job interview.
thanks guys.
so go check out my photos, all of them mean so much to me and places and things i have seen or done in the past few years.
BRONZE Member
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)
Pooh-Bah
2,211 posts
Location: London, Wales (UK)
Posted:
Its sad that society judges people by appearance, but I don't think any us can seriously say that we have never judged someone based on their appearance. If you do, you are a saint!
I was going to paste a picture of an essex girl to illustrate my point. Did a websearch and I think my seach illustrates my point even more. Go to yahoo, type in Essex girl, picture and see what results you get. Essex girl search
It is disgusting that people have to go through surgery to look more acceptable to society and be treated as 'normal'. The 'norm' is unfortunately a frustrating place where you are only allowed to explore and be creative with your appearance within certain limitations.
Image is very important when job seeking alas, so I hope once you have your surgery you get a wonderful job. Not nice that you have to go through that, but demonstrates the commitment you have to progressing that you can sacrifice your tunnels for your greater good in the long term. Good luck.
Its sad that society judges people by appearance, but I don't think any us can seriously say that we have never judged someone based on their appearance. If you do, you are a saint!
I was going to paste a picture of an essex girl to illustrate my point. Did a websearch and I think my seach illustrates my point even more. Go to yahoo, type in Essex girl, picture and see what results you get. Essex girl search
It is disgusting that people have to go through surgery to look more acceptable to society and be treated as 'normal'. The 'norm' is unfortunately a frustrating place where you are only allowed to explore and be creative with your appearance within certain limitations.
Image is very important when job seeking alas, so I hope once you have your surgery you get a wonderful job. Not nice that you have to go through that, but demonstrates the commitment you have to progressing that you can sacrifice your tunnels for your greater good in the long term. Good luck.
Come faeries, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.
- W B Yeats
BRONZE Member
old hand
1,184 posts
Location: under the fairie wheel, Australia
old hand
1,184 posts
Location: under the fairie wheel, Australia
Posted:
mate i know were your at
i have lost jobs because of the way i look and am
and i have found trouble with acceptance from people in jobs because of there pre conseved notions of what i should be
although my tunnels are much smaller (10mm right and 6mm left (streching to match)) i choz from the start not to go biger tha 10mm with an option if i did later to maybe go to 25mm and even with that small a size i still have had trouble even to the point where i have been forced to leave out the piercings in work hours
early this year i made the choice to develope dreads as well and as i only have a over sized top knot it acsentuats myself much more now
not long after i got the dreads i wentto visit my grand perants and have had othing but grief since because of the lak of acceptance of who i am
to them that see my "look" as that of a vagrant and take that for meaning i do not care and are afraid the next move if that to a comun wit all the other feral hippies
they have even gone as far as offer me the money to make myself look "normal" again
this has upset me greatly that they can not accept me for who i have chosen to be and not what they expect me to be. i know and understand there point of veiw and i have tryed to explain mine to them but it is to no good they have made up there mind and there in no budging them
i have come close to chuking it all in
getting the proper hair cut
gettig ruid of the ears
but then i say tomyself
the choice is still mine and i still chuz to be me
pk it is brave of you to have lived how you have for the past 7 years adn it is just as brave to make the move to get them altered back to a way you feel will be more accepted for your own choices and not theres
mate i know were your at
i have lost jobs because of the way i look and am
and i have found trouble with acceptance from people in jobs because of there pre conseved notions of what i should be
although my tunnels are much smaller (10mm right and 6mm left (streching to match)) i choz from the start not to go biger tha 10mm with an option if i did later to maybe go to 25mm and even with that small a size i still have had trouble even to the point where i have been forced to leave out the piercings in work hours
early this year i made the choice to develope dreads as well and as i only have a over sized top knot it acsentuats myself much more now
not long after i got the dreads i wentto visit my grand perants and have had othing but grief since because of the lak of acceptance of who i am
to them that see my "look" as that of a vagrant and take that for meaning i do not care and are afraid the next move if that to a comun wit all the other feral hippies
they have even gone as far as offer me the money to make myself look "normal" again
this has upset me greatly that they can not accept me for who i have chosen to be and not what they expect me to be. i know and understand there point of veiw and i have tryed to explain mine to them but it is to no good they have made up there mind and there in no budging them
i have come close to chuking it all in
getting the proper hair cut
gettig ruid of the ears
but then i say tomyself
the choice is still mine and i still chuz to be me
pk it is brave of you to have lived how you have for the past 7 years adn it is just as brave to make the move to get them altered back to a way you feel will be more accepted for your own choices and not theres
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, and screaming "WOO-HOO What a ride!"
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
hell, my dad gave me hell forever just for having long hair.
I never went in for tats or peircings or other mods, not because I didn't want them (I did), but because I have a chosen path for my life which I know I will be unable to accomplish with such things. My life goals are more important to me than the mods. In a way that is what trait of 1112 has decided.
It is a shame that people can't always accomplish what they want while looking the way they want. Personally I have to give props to TO1112 for both doing the mods and accepting that he wants more out of life than what they seem to limit him to. Both are worthy explorations of self.
On a broader scale, I can identify with the problems he has since I am living in a very conservative community in central south africa and have the ordacity to have black friends in a primarily afrikaans (white and very conservative, socailly and religiously) area. My god do people flip out when I go have dinner at a nice restraunt with a black woman! You can just lok around and watch people trying to supress themselves from saying something. And how about getting a lecture about decency in the middle of a shopping mall by some redneck that isn't even wearing shoes when you know the person you are hanging out with is 10 times the person they will ever be but is considered a whore because her skin happens to be dark and she is walking with a white man. try that and see how hard it is not to cold cock the #@$%er then and there.
I wish human would finally grow up. But at least some of us are beginning to.
(disclaimer - not all of South Africa is like this - I just happened to wind up in a place that is renoun for its backwards attitudes).
one last thing - surgery is defnintely one of those things where you et what you pay for. definitely go to the private surgeon.
hell, my dad gave me hell forever just for having long hair.
I never went in for tats or peircings or other mods, not because I didn't want them (I did), but because I have a chosen path for my life which I know I will be unable to accomplish with such things. My life goals are more important to me than the mods. In a way that is what trait of 1112 has decided.
It is a shame that people can't always accomplish what they want while looking the way they want. Personally I have to give props to TO1112 for both doing the mods and accepting that he wants more out of life than what they seem to limit him to. Both are worthy explorations of self.
On a broader scale, I can identify with the problems he has since I am living in a very conservative community in central south africa and have the ordacity to have black friends in a primarily afrikaans (white and very conservative, socailly and religiously) area. My god do people flip out when I go have dinner at a nice restraunt with a black woman! You can just lok around and watch people trying to supress themselves from saying something. And how about getting a lecture about decency in the middle of a shopping mall by some redneck that isn't even wearing shoes when you know the person you are hanging out with is 10 times the person they will ever be but is considered a whore because her skin happens to be dark and she is walking with a white man. try that and see how hard it is not to cold cock the #@$%er then and there.
I wish human would finally grow up. But at least some of us are beginning to.
(disclaimer - not all of South Africa is like this - I just happened to wind up in a place that is renoun for its backwards attitudes).
one last thing - surgery is defnintely one of those things where you et what you pay for. definitely go to the private surgeon.
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
HoP Mechanical Engineer
729 posts
Location: OK, USA
729 posts
Location: OK, USA
Posted:
Yo PK
Sorry to hear you've had difficulties because of your self-expression, that's unfortunate and I know you're a good person who doesn't deserve it, especially from ignorants who are so shallow.
To play Devil's Advocate here: on the job I could see ear holes being a liability possibly if you're working in some sort of industry where they might be a safety concern... but some jobs also have to maintain a certain standard of formality with employee behavior (ever heard of "casual fridays?"), dress code, etc, and their business IS affected by it. If a company is nice enough to not discriminate based on appearance, a company they'll deal with might not be. Remember when you work for someone, you are representing them through your appearance as well as performance and work ethic.
Nonconformism doesn't really do too well in those areas and might even portray an applicant as rebellious or resentful of authority (which gives suggestions to how they might be on the job). It's unfortunate but that type of stereotyping does happen in the workplace and part of the responsibility of a job is to conform to its standards, like how some jobs require uniforms, and a potential employee who looks as though they would have trouble conforming is less appealing than one who will roll over and play dead for the boss.
However, to the people on the street, in resturants, etc... I say PUH. They got no right to judge others that way, especially when they're also setting a bad example for their children.
You've always been a great, supportive and inspiring friend to me, and never once have I seen your ears as anything other than an element of you. Like decorations on a Christmas tree. However, the tree won't look any less splendid without them.
I wish you the best of luck in finding a quality surgeon and hope your procedure goes well!
And when you join the workforce and become incredibly successful, I think Karma will reward your sacrifice with a young applicant in the same situation asking YOU to hire them...
Yo PK
Sorry to hear you've had difficulties because of your self-expression, that's unfortunate and I know you're a good person who doesn't deserve it, especially from ignorants who are so shallow.
To play Devil's Advocate here: on the job I could see ear holes being a liability possibly if you're working in some sort of industry where they might be a safety concern... but some jobs also have to maintain a certain standard of formality with employee behavior (ever heard of "casual fridays?"), dress code, etc, and their business IS affected by it. If a company is nice enough to not discriminate based on appearance, a company they'll deal with might not be. Remember when you work for someone, you are representing them through your appearance as well as performance and work ethic.
Nonconformism doesn't really do too well in those areas and might even portray an applicant as rebellious or resentful of authority (which gives suggestions to how they might be on the job). It's unfortunate but that type of stereotyping does happen in the workplace and part of the responsibility of a job is to conform to its standards, like how some jobs require uniforms, and a potential employee who looks as though they would have trouble conforming is less appealing than one who will roll over and play dead for the boss.
However, to the people on the street, in resturants, etc... I say PUH. They got no right to judge others that way, especially when they're also setting a bad example for their children.
You've always been a great, supportive and inspiring friend to me, and never once have I seen your ears as anything other than an element of you. Like decorations on a Christmas tree. However, the tree won't look any less splendid without them.
I wish you the best of luck in finding a quality surgeon and hope your procedure goes well!
And when you join the workforce and become incredibly successful, I think Karma will reward your sacrifice with a young applicant in the same situation asking YOU to hire them...
What hits the fan is not evenly distributed.
BRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Posted:
well all this good karma seems to be working.
This morning a woke to unemployment.
Now 5 mins ago i have 2 jobs
whats the deal with the world.
Though one is only tempory for Thorntons Chocolate factory.. and the interview went splendid, but i have to go with the other, its a pub... full time pays better, i am qualified in that line of work anyway and its 30 yards from my house and not an hour on the bus.
wooooppeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Still getting my ears done though at the end of the day but at least both prospective employers were and are alowing me to take the time to get the surgery done, but for the mean time its ok.
well i start my new job tonight.
well all this good karma seems to be working.
This morning a woke to unemployment.
Now 5 mins ago i have 2 jobs
whats the deal with the world.Though one is only tempory for Thorntons Chocolate factory.. and the interview went splendid, but i have to go with the other, its a pub... full time pays better, i am qualified in that line of work anyway and its 30 yards from my house and not an hour on the bus.
wooooppeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Still getting my ears done though at the end of the day but at least both prospective employers were and are alowing me to take the time to get the surgery done, but for the mean time its ok.
well i start my new job tonight.
HoP Mechanical Engineer
729 posts
Location: OK, USA
729 posts
Location: OK, USA
Posted:
Hey I spent 4 years of internship at a candy factory... you'll enjoy it I'm sure A noble profession! And congrats!
Were I not trying to lose weight I'd ask for free samples
Hey I spent 4 years of internship at a candy factory... you'll enjoy it I'm sure
A noble profession! And congrats!Were I not trying to lose weight I'd ask for free samples
What hits the fan is not evenly distributed.
BRONZE Member
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
6,140 posts
Location: Over There, United Kingdom
Posted:
congrats PK!
congrats PK! Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
That's true, but, just to play Devil's Advocate to your Devil's Advocacy, the same reasoning could be applied to all types of discrimination.
e.g. in times when racialism was more prevalent, to employ racial minorities could lose a company custom; similarly it could be argued that giving management positions to women in a firm whose workforce consisted of discriminatory males, could adversly affect it's production.
Quote:
To play Devil's Advocate here: on the job I could see ear holes being a liability possibly if you're working in some sort of industry where they might be a safety concern... but some jobs also have to maintain a certain standard of formality with employee behavior (ever heard of "casual fridays?"), dress code, etc, and their business IS affected by it.
That's true, but, just to play Devil's Advocate to your Devil's Advocacy, the same reasoning could be applied to all types of discrimination.
e.g. in times when racialism was more prevalent, to employ racial minorities could lose a company custom; similarly it could be argued that giving management positions to women in a firm whose workforce consisted of discriminatory males, could adversly affect it's production.
"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
GOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,252 posts
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom
Posted:
Nice one pk Congratulations.
Quote:
well all this good karma seems to be working.
This morning a woke to unemployment.
Now 5 mins ago i have 2 jobs ...
wooooppeeeeeeeeeeeee.
well i start my new job tonight.
Nice one pk
Congratulations. "You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."
--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32
Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!
BRONZE Member
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Lambretta Fanatic
4,997 posts
Location: United Kingdom
Posted:
it feels wierd to be working after all this time, having done only one months work in the past 12 and going back to bar work.
Again i was faced with loads of questions, people sat around in the pub taking and staring and touching their own ears to see if it is possible to do what i have done, i now just cant wait to get it all over with.
well its been a weird night a long and quiet one, my feet ache and i am faced with a house full of people i dont wish to be here sat looking a porn and downloading porn to my PC, great end to the day, i was happy that i have returned to work and happy that tonight went succesfully as i hoped, but its all gone to [censored], people [censored] around with my PC, great.
it feels wierd to be working after all this time, having done only one months work in the past 12 and going back to bar work.
Again i was faced with loads of questions, people sat around in the pub taking and staring and touching their own ears to see if it is possible to do what i have done, i now just cant wait to get it all over with.
well its been a weird night a long and quiet one, my feet ache and i am faced with a house full of people i dont wish to be here sat looking a porn and downloading porn to my PC, great end to the day, i was happy that i have returned to work and happy that tonight went succesfully as i hoped, but its all gone to [censored], people [censored] around with my PC, great.
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