Forums > Social Chat > Poi Friend vs Real Friend paradox... [Dated 2001!]
Login/Join to ParticipateNYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
*** Please note that this thread was dated 2001 and bumped up by Mr Cantus very recently. It's infinitely outdated in the fact that I've since met and befriended many of you and consiter many of you to be my closest friends. ***
I don't mean to offend anyone on here as I feel close to some of you, but really, when was the last time we went to a movie/play/smoked crack by the railroad tracks?
I certainly have become friends with a few of you but recently a poi buddy of mine and I were chatting about the dicotomy of poi friends and "real" friends (meaning those who know your life story/ex-girlfriend/birthday and such).
I, for one, have my poi friends (all of you and some NYC party people) and my "real" friends who I've known forever.
My question is this:
Does this bring up a paradox for you all as well? My old friends don't poi, and I never really do anything else with my poi friends. So the more I want to poi, the less I see the people who I have tons in common with.
I guess the only real solution to this is for all of you to move to NYC. Problem solved.
*** Please note that this thread was dated 2001 and bumped up by Mr Cantus very recently. It's infinitely outdated in the fact that I've since met and befriended many of you and consiter many of you to be my closest friends. ***
I don't mean to offend anyone on here as I feel close to some of you, but really, when was the last time we went to a movie/play/smoked crack by the railroad tracks?
I certainly have become friends with a few of you but recently a poi buddy of mine and I were chatting about the dicotomy of poi friends and "real" friends (meaning those who know your life story/ex-girlfriend/birthday and such).
I, for one, have my poi friends (all of you and some NYC party people) and my "real" friends who I've known forever.
My question is this:
Does this bring up a paradox for you all as well? My old friends don't poi, and I never really do anything else with my poi friends. So the more I want to poi, the less I see the people who I have tons in common with.
I guess the only real solution to this is for all of you to move to NYC. Problem solved.
[Can I give love to my poi friends who would easily be "real friends" if I could get to see them more than three times a year!]
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
AnonymousPLATINUM Member
Posted:
whats a real friend?I've thought about what you describe...I figure every friendship I have is different. Some ppl are old school buddies who I might drive down to the beach with. Some friends are ppl I've met through fire twirling, who live a *long* way away.Some ppl are high maintenance, some ppl are not...as long as you have a bunch of good friends (whatever they bring to the table - they are still good friends) you are luckyParadox? -> time management! Josh
whats a real friend?I've thought about what you describe...I figure every friendship I have is different. Some ppl are old school buddies who I might drive down to the beach with. Some friends are ppl I've met through fire twirling, who live a *long* way away.Some ppl are high maintenance, some ppl are not...as long as you have a bunch of good friends (whatever they bring to the table - they are still good friends) you are lucky
Paradox? -> time management! Josh BRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA
Posted:
ooooooooh! Nice one NYC.And yes, NYC, Yes there is a dichotomy, there is with all relationships, but several of the friends I have hung onto for so long I have no bond with. I share no real common interest or thread except the history, which is not enough to base a future on.And Yes, Josh, all friends are different. I for one feel closer to some people thousands of miles away than I do those nearby. I have talked more with my friends in Australia than I have with friends I have known for years. It is time management and work for friendships to build and flourish.All friends are different. In actuality my closest friends I have *only* known for 6 years or so. I can tell them my life story and bring them up to the level of "lynnie knowledge" of friends I have known forever(and bore them to tears), then they can empathize with my growing pains as I can theirs. That is where the history connection ends. What I do now and the path I am on is far more steady now than when I was in, say, high school, and far more different. Life has taken those friends of old on different routes than I so while we may enjoy reminiscing, those who are involved in my life now have what I view as a more important role. My history is rocky and I admire anyone who walked that path with me and retained thier sanity but in growing up we are still finding "ourselves", let alone figuring out what friendship is, and we didn't get the best part of what those people had to offer, nor did we give our best. Now I know me very well, and I know I can give to whomever wants it. I also know what I concider to be a friend versus an acquaintence and I know what I want in friendships beyond a movie and poi. I do think they can be combined, with time and effort on all parties involved. There are those that don't let you in, there are those that slack in time (sorry to you for that...and to the others), but the potential is still their. The "newer" friends can know my history and still share my interests (even if they don't participate) where as the old friends tend to not go that road. *sigh* I think that it is different for everyone though, depending on ties forged and such, but in the end all friends are important, no matter where they fit into our lives. Ironically for me, my poi friends can more accurately be described as my HoP friends. My non-fire friends each participate in their own way in my fire endeavors without actually doing the fire. Many are safeties, others are always audience members cheering me on, or brainstorming partners. Somehow they support me in the same ways as all of you. In fact, NYC, the most fun I have had with the people I have met from HoP came not from the time spent spinning, but more from sitting under the stars and talking...say, in a grassy field in New Hampshire, or on a rooftop in Bushwick.
From my birthday some of the most touching moments came from the fact that Cassandra remembered it and I received a phone call from a friend who started as a HoP acquaintence from Oz. I went to the movies with the crew in NH, and spent a few splendid afternoons doing completely non-poi things in NYC.It is all in how you view this world. If it is large and distance is a barricade to you, then of course you will view your relationships differently. If, in your eyes, it is small then you are simply biding time until you can be together.Worse yet, though, are the people who you thought were friends but were actually riding you coat tails to be "cool" or whatever by association. That is not those who learn but those who hang around you, don't do much and then tell people they are associated with you or do the arts when they don't. That is weird.That being said...when are you coming up for a visit NYC? Love------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...https://www.pyromorph.com
ooooooooh! Nice one NYC.And yes, NYC, Yes there is a dichotomy, there is with all relationships, but several of the friends I have hung onto for so long I have no bond with. I share no real common interest or thread except the history, which is not enough to base a future on.And Yes, Josh, all friends are different. I for one feel closer to some people thousands of miles away than I do those nearby. I have talked more with my friends in Australia than I have with friends I have known for years. It is time management and work for friendships to build and flourish.All friends are different. In actuality my closest friends I have *only* known for 6 years or so. I can tell them my life story and bring them up to the level of "lynnie knowledge" of friends I have known forever(and bore them to tears), then they can empathize with my growing pains as I can theirs. That is where the history connection ends. What I do now and the path I am on is far more steady now than when I was in, say, high school, and far more different. Life has taken those friends of old on different routes than I so while we may enjoy reminiscing, those who are involved in my life now have what I view as a more important role. My history is rocky and I admire anyone who walked that path with me and retained thier sanity but in growing up we are still finding "ourselves", let alone figuring out what friendship is, and we didn't get the best part of what those people had to offer, nor did we give our best. Now I know me very well, and I know I can give to whomever wants it. I also know what I concider to be a friend versus an acquaintence and I know what I want in friendships beyond a movie and poi. I do think they can be combined, with time and effort on all parties involved. There are those that don't let you in, there are those that slack in time (sorry to you for that...and to the others), but the potential is still their. The "newer" friends can know my history and still share my interests (even if they don't participate) where as the old friends tend to not go that road. *sigh* I think that it is different for everyone though, depending on ties forged and such, but in the end all friends are important, no matter where they fit into our lives. Ironically for me, my poi friends can more accurately be described as my HoP friends. My non-fire friends each participate in their own way in my fire endeavors without actually doing the fire. Many are safeties, others are always audience members cheering me on, or brainstorming partners. Somehow they support me in the same ways as all of you. In fact, NYC, the most fun I have had with the people I have met from HoP came not from the time spent spinning, but more from sitting under the stars and talking...say, in a grassy field in New Hampshire, or on a rooftop in Bushwick.
From my birthday some of the most touching moments came from the fact that Cassandra remembered it and I received a phone call from a friend who started as a HoP acquaintence from Oz. I went to the movies with the crew in NH, and spent a few splendid afternoons doing completely non-poi things in NYC.It is all in how you view this world. If it is large and distance is a barricade to you, then of course you will view your relationships differently. If, in your eyes, it is small then you are simply biding time until you can be together.Worse yet, though, are the people who you thought were friends but were actually riding you coat tails to be "cool" or whatever by association. That is not those who learn but those who hang around you, don't do much and then tell people they are associated with you or do the arts when they don't. That is weird.That being said...when are you coming up for a visit NYC? Love------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...https://www.pyromorph.com Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK
BRONZE Member
old hand
887 posts
Location: san diego, USA
old hand
887 posts
Location: san diego, USA
Posted:
hey guys, just wanted to put my 2 cents in.growing up all over the world and never staying in a school over a year, i have had lots of friends. about 90% of them are lost to me possibly forever, so i cherished the time i spent with them, or the things i learned from them, or the way they talked to me, or the way they made me feel. i consider most of the people here on HoP my friends even if all i have ever said to them was hello. i think it is all about intent for me, like pele was saying about people hanging on by the coat tails, if a person is actually somewhat interested in your life, then they are my friend.okay now i am rambling. mid-school shout out to ya, or new school, whatever. as long as i have my ass in class right?[This message has been edited by pozee (edited 17 October 2001).]
hey guys, just wanted to put my 2 cents in.growing up all over the world and never staying in a school over a year, i have had lots of friends. about 90% of them are lost to me possibly forever, so i cherished the time i spent with them, or the things i learned from them, or the way they talked to me, or the way they made me feel. i consider most of the people here on HoP my friends even if all i have ever said to them was hello. i think it is all about intent for me, like pele was saying about people hanging on by the coat tails, if a person is actually somewhat interested in your life, then they are my friend.okay now i am rambling. mid-school shout out to ya, or new school, whatever. as long as i have my ass in class right?[This message has been edited by pozee (edited 17 October 2001).]
anyone got a light?
BRONZE Member
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Corporate Circus Arts Entertainer
3,989 posts
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posted:
Friends, friends, friends...What a great topic, and i have to agree with everything already said (so I won't say it again).Another spanner in the works is the groups of friends i had when I went to Uni. There were three distinct groups, The Academics, The P*ssheads and The Normals with hardly anyone fitting into more than one group.I learned early on (I was young remember...) that just because people are your friends, doesn't mean that they get on with each other, and had lots of problems when one group met the other in any sort of high numbers.As an example, for my 21st, I had to have seperate one for the pissheads, and ensure the Academics and Normals had a few extra rooms to distance themselves in without all hell breaking loose.I have a similar situation now, but with smaller numbers (thank god), with hippie-types, academics, pissheads, poets, performers and programmers. We have a great time when together, but when i'm with some people with different groups they feel uncomfortable and often some leave sooner than usual.what I find really hard is how to see them all often enough to keep the friendships fresh and interesting, but also keep them apart enough to prevent hassles.Getting on with everyone is what I'm supposedly good at (my day job involves this a lot) but sometimes it can be a lot of hard work...Maybe i'll just------------------Charles (INFERNO)newdolbel@hotmail.comhttps://juggling.co.nz
Friends, friends, friends...What a great topic, and i have to agree with everything already said (so I won't say it again).Another spanner in the works is the groups of friends i had when I went to Uni. There were three distinct groups, The Academics, The P*ssheads and The Normals with hardly anyone fitting into more than one group.I learned early on (I was young remember...) that just because people are your friends, doesn't mean that they get on with each other, and had lots of problems when one group met the other in any sort of high numbers.As an example, for my 21st, I had to have seperate one for the pissheads, and ensure the Academics and Normals had a few extra rooms to distance themselves in without all hell breaking loose.I have a similar situation now, but with smaller numbers (thank god), with hippie-types, academics, pissheads, poets, performers and programmers. We have a great time when together, but when i'm with some people with different groups they feel uncomfortable and often some leave sooner than usual.what I find really hard is how to see them all often enough to keep the friendships fresh and interesting, but also keep them apart enough to prevent hassles.Getting on with everyone is what I'm supposedly good at (my day job involves this a lot) but sometimes it can be a lot of hard work...Maybe i'll just------------------Charles (INFERNO)newdolbel@hotmail.comhttps://juggling.co.nz
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member
19 posts
Location: Fallbrook, CA , USA
19 posts
Location: Fallbrook, CA , USA
Posted:
Me and MYST know exactally what its like being a military brat, moving all the time and having to loose all of your friends and starting over again. Its something that you cant interfere with. Me and myst have alot in common, not only are we poi friends but also real freinds, which is really great
i consider Myst more of a brother then my real brother. Chances are we are going to move out together too. But also my other friends arent interested in poi at all, they just like to watch occasionally, and after all the raving and poi experiences, i haven't seen many of my real freinds. But to no Despair me and MYST have spread our germ around and now we have Jerimiah (Califreak) who is also a real friend and a poi buddy ------------------JÃ…Mé§ §HéÞÅ®Ãisarangheyo@netzero.net
Me and MYST know exactally what its like being a military brat, moving all the time and having to loose all of your friends and starting over again. Its something that you cant interfere with. Me and myst have alot in common, not only are we poi friends but also real freinds, which is really great
i consider Myst more of a brother then my real brother. Chances are we are going to move out together too. But also my other friends arent interested in poi at all, they just like to watch occasionally, and after all the raving and poi experiences, i haven't seen many of my real freinds. But to no Despair me and MYST have spread our germ around and now we have Jerimiah (Califreak) who is also a real friend and a poi buddy ------------------JÃ…Mé§ §HéÞÅ®Ãisarangheyo@netzero.net JÃ…Mé§ §HéÞÅ®Ãisarangheyo@netzero.net
member
77 posts
77 posts
Posted:
"You know why people get friends?'cuz they search in others what they don't havehaven't noticed?You got a good friend,a crazy friendand a friend that you tell him everythimg...within them, we finish the puzzle that we are"
"You know why people get friends?'cuz they search in others what they don't havehaven't noticed?You got a good friend,a crazy friendand a friend that you tell him everythimg...within them, we finish the puzzle that we are"
member
118 posts
Location: MD, USA
118 posts
Location: MD, USA
Posted:
Why not get to know your poi friend better?
Why not get to know your poi friend better?
AKA CLERIC
172 posts
Location: Staten Island , NY. USA
172 posts
Location: Staten Island , NY. USA
Posted:
Well for me the 2 people i spin with most often are my real friends who i've known forever. We all picked up poi at different times but 2 of us are on the same level now. But being freinds and everything , we find it easy to help each other and discuss it while doing other stuff. Friends rule.
Well for me the 2 people i spin with most often are my real friends who i've known forever. We all picked up poi at different times but 2 of us are on the same level now. But being freinds and everything , we find it easy to help each other and discuss it while doing other stuff. Friends rule.
We are defined by the choices we make
SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,899 posts
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Posted:
No dicotimy for me at all. I became fast friends with the people I spin with here in Houston and many of them in Austin too. We do all sort of stuff together, and they are my second family these days. But we are also the local Burningman crowd, and that is all about community, so there is no real surpise there.Before I met them, I always had two groups of friends. I was the "wild one" with my more conservative group of friends, and the "strait one" with my party friends (guess who they caled when they needed someone to bail them out of jail?). Never really fit into either crowd, which was the the story of my life. But now I am fortunate enough to have a score and more of friends who know how to have a REALLY good time, but still actually manage to lead meaningful lives. I've been blessed, and it is all thanks to the fire. Burn on, -v-
No dicotimy for me at all. I became fast friends with the people I spin with here in Houston and many of them in Austin too. We do all sort of stuff together, and they are my second family these days. But we are also the local Burningman crowd, and that is all about community, so there is no real surpise there.Before I met them, I always had two groups of friends. I was the "wild one" with my more conservative group of friends, and the "strait one" with my party friends (guess who they caled when they needed someone to bail them out of jail?). Never really fit into either crowd, which was the the story of my life. But now I am fortunate enough to have a score and more of friends who know how to have a REALLY good time, but still actually manage to lead meaningful lives. I've been blessed, and it is all thanks to the fire. Burn on, -v-
-v-
Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!
member
115 posts
Location: UK
115 posts
Location: UK
Posted:
Being new to the site i read this thinking that i wouldnt reply because i hadnt yet made a real connection with people (the new girl) but as i read on i changed my mind cause freindship is about intent. i try to love everybody (even if i dont like them) - everyone u meet (be it face to face or over the internet) has something to offer and u to them.
Being new to the site i read this thinking that i wouldnt reply because i hadnt yet made a real connection with people (the new girl) but as i read on i changed my mind cause freindship is about intent. i try to love everybody (even if i dont like them) - everyone u meet (be it face to face or over the internet) has something to offer and u to them.
member
22 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
22 posts
Location: Perth, Australia
Posted:
I have several groups of friends but I've never really had much trouble with them. Each group tends to have its own set of regular activities and the groups don't tend to mix well so I try to keep them separate.Each friendship is different so just enjoy them."My worlds are colliding! My worlds are colliding!" - George Castanza
I have several groups of friends but I've never really had much trouble with them. Each group tends to have its own set of regular activities and the groups don't tend to mix well so I try to keep them separate.Each friendship is different so just enjoy them."My worlds are colliding! My worlds are colliding!" - George Castanza
Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Posted:
Very interesting one, NYC !!!So, what is a friend ? I totally agree obviously that we all have *very* different friends with whom we share different things as well. I can completely relate to some of what Charles describes ! I am very pleased though to get along with such different people. It felt even better once I did come to accept that if I love A and B, they won't necessarily get along. And also that if I've found amazing pleasure and energy from doing aikido or poi or whatever it does not necessarily mean that it will change everybody's life... I truly beleive one recognizes a friend when you are happy. What do I mean ? I mean that you can sometimes be in deep trouble or simply very down and sad and some people will reject you. These are definitely *not* your friends. But those who help are not always your friends either, as silly as it may sound. Because to some people it is pleasant and easy to deal with others when they are "lower" than you. Make no mistake, I am not spitting on the great people I have around me who supported me sometimes when I had troubles... just something I've come to realize looking around me. When something good happens on the other hand, not everybody genuinely and truly shares your happiness. Jealousy/envy is always around the corner, we're only human ... Anyway, so how do you recognize your "true " friends ? you don't always do, sometimes a bit too late ... but when they're around it does feel real good !!!As for poi friends versus real friends ??? Truth is I don't know so many firedancers in real life so I converted some of my friends to the world of poi. But they remain "the old friends" I guess.Yet I realized every now and then that I mention some of you in my every day life and my friends were really surprised in the beginning that I should talk about HOP people as I talk about other people allthough have not met anyone (or almost anyone) yet. Made me wonder too...My "poi friends" are basically the people from the HOP and especially those I am lucky enough to be individually in contact with. Love them very much and very sincerely . As to whether it is superficial or not ? I don't really know . I have had some "friendships" with people from my neighbourhood for years which turned out to be superficial as hell while there are a few people here whom I've never met IRL and yet with whom I discussed things that I don't often share (now, that's back to my other question about "online personnalities" and what everyone added in this thread !). I am no more no less true to the HOP friends than I am to the people I may meet in Paris or elsewhere. I am friendly and care and easily love people. Yet it takes me ages to trust someone . This is when time plays a big role (not on the intensity of the friendship, but on the sort of calm peace that goes with it when you are one of these idiots like me who fear to be abandoned somehow...). And this is when physical contact also means something because I am an animal and trust my instincts. Don't give a flying scoobidoo whether those I talk to and love on the HOP are one/two/three legged , green skin or anything like that, but I definitely trust the eye contact at some point. This is why you all should watch out, I'm gonna come and hug you in person one of these days ...Much loveShine onCassandraPS : Pele, I am glad I could put a smile on your face. But this love you get from people is no wonder : in some cases people do get what they deserve !!!!
Non-Https Image Link
Very interesting one, NYC !!!So, what is a friend ? I totally agree obviously that we all have *very* different friends with whom we share different things as well. I can completely relate to some of what Charles describes ! I am very pleased though to get along with such different people. It felt even better once I did come to accept that if I love A and B, they won't necessarily get along. And also that if I've found amazing pleasure and energy from doing aikido or poi or whatever it does not necessarily mean that it will change everybody's life... I truly beleive one recognizes a friend when you are happy. What do I mean ? I mean that you can sometimes be in deep trouble or simply very down and sad and some people will reject you. These are definitely *not* your friends. But those who help are not always your friends either, as silly as it may sound. Because to some people it is pleasant and easy to deal with others when they are "lower" than you. Make no mistake, I am not spitting on the great people I have around me who supported me sometimes when I had troubles... just something I've come to realize looking around me. When something good happens on the other hand, not everybody genuinely and truly shares your happiness. Jealousy/envy is always around the corner, we're only human ... Anyway, so how do you recognize your "true " friends ? you don't always do, sometimes a bit too late ... but when they're around it does feel real good !!!As for poi friends versus real friends ??? Truth is I don't know so many firedancers in real life so I converted some of my friends to the world of poi. But they remain "the old friends" I guess.Yet I realized every now and then that I mention some of you in my every day life and my friends were really surprised in the beginning that I should talk about HOP people as I talk about other people allthough have not met anyone (or almost anyone) yet. Made me wonder too...My "poi friends" are basically the people from the HOP and especially those I am lucky enough to be individually in contact with. Love them very much and very sincerely . As to whether it is superficial or not ? I don't really know . I have had some "friendships" with people from my neighbourhood for years which turned out to be superficial as hell while there are a few people here whom I've never met IRL and yet with whom I discussed things that I don't often share (now, that's back to my other question about "online personnalities" and what everyone added in this thread !). I am no more no less true to the HOP friends than I am to the people I may meet in Paris or elsewhere. I am friendly and care and easily love people. Yet it takes me ages to trust someone . This is when time plays a big role (not on the intensity of the friendship, but on the sort of calm peace that goes with it when you are one of these idiots like me who fear to be abandoned somehow...). And this is when physical contact also means something because I am an animal and trust my instincts. Don't give a flying scoobidoo whether those I talk to and love on the HOP are one/two/three legged , green skin or anything like that, but I definitely trust the eye contact at some point. This is why you all should watch out, I'm gonna come and hug you in person one of these days ...
Much loveShine onCassandraPS : Pele, I am glad I could put a smile on your face. But this love you get from people is no wonder : in some cases people do get what they deserve !!!! Non-Https Image Link
"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
SILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Posted:
Cassandradoes that mean I have a hug to look forward to at some time in the future? Things are looking up.....Or was I not included in that? ------------------C@ntus
Cassandradoes that mean I have a hug to look forward to at some time in the future? Things are looking up.....
Or was I not included in that? ------------------C@ntus Meh
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
Actually, I have to apologize to you all. This was just a big ploy to have Pele email me back and it worked like a charm. Guilt is a beautiful thing.[OK, I'm kidding but it did work ]
Actually, I have to apologize to you all. This was just a big ploy to have Pele email me back and it worked like a charm. Guilt is a beautiful thing.
[OK, I'm kidding but it did work ] Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
SILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Posted:
Ah, deception.
------------------C@ntus
Ah, deception.
------------------C@ntus Meh
Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Posted:
cantus, I'll make sure to let people know if I come to UK - which i might cause I want to visit a kiwi friend of mine.And i'd be happy to meet you and everyone in London / UK.But sorry to disappoint you, my hugs are *just* friendly hugsNYC, it is amazing what a man can do to attract the attention of a woman ... I thought it was a very interesting thread anyway !SHine onCassandra
cantus, I'll make sure to let people know if I come to UK - which i might cause I want to visit a kiwi friend of mine.And i'd be happy to meet you and everyone in London / UK.But sorry to disappoint you, my hugs are *just* friendly hugs
NYC, it is amazing what a man can do to attract the attention of a woman ... I thought it was a very interesting thread anyway !SHine onCassandra "I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
member
130 posts
Location: London/Brighton, UK
130 posts
Location: London/Brighton, UK
Posted:
Hmmmm, what an interesting thread! I too find I am leading a not-so-secret double life. I have my poi friends and my old friends (who have nothing to do with poi and give me strange looks whenever I mention it) and I think that it works out just fine. Mind you, I reckon the 2 groups probably wouldn't mix very well. But that's just one of the joys of life - having different sets of friends that you see for different things. There are some people who I would count as my bestest friends and I have never been to films with. Then again, there are others who I can happily sit in a cinema with, but we don't have much to talk about outside...As for the HoP community, I also feel that I 'know' a lot of people here - even though I haven't met them or even talked to them directly. In a way it's nice to meet people that I share the common ground of fire twirling with, but that you can talk to about other stuff as well. And I have to say, anyone I have met from here has turned out to be a jolly nice chap(ess).The more of you I can meet in real life, the betterPrincess xxxPS: Charles - I am now starting to worry about which student category I fit into... Is anyone a normal? *looks furtively around uni computer room* Because I don't think they are here...
Hmmmm, what an interesting thread! I too find I am leading a not-so-secret double life. I have my poi friends and my old friends (who have nothing to do with poi and give me strange looks whenever I mention it) and I think that it works out just fine. Mind you, I reckon the 2 groups probably wouldn't mix very well. But that's just one of the joys of life - having different sets of friends that you see for different things. There are some people who I would count as my bestest friends and I have never been to films with. Then again, there are others who I can happily sit in a cinema with, but we don't have much to talk about outside...As for the HoP community, I also feel that I 'know' a lot of people here - even though I haven't met them or even talked to them directly. In a way it's nice to meet people that I share the common ground of fire twirling with, but that you can talk to about other stuff as well. And I have to say, anyone I have met from here has turned out to be a jolly nice chap(ess).The more of you I can meet in real life, the better
Princess xxxPS: Charles - I am now starting to worry about which student category I fit into... Is anyone a normal? *looks furtively around uni computer room* Because I don't think they are here... BRONZE Member
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia
Posted:
I would even go so far as to say that all my friends are very different and that goes way beyond poi or not poi. I have friends I can go and sit on the beach and talk openly with for hours, or long as it takes, I have friends I can go out clubbing with. We all relate to people on different levels, and it's healthy to have a mix of friends to share parts of your lifestyle that wouldn't really sit comfortably with others.It's not easy for any one person to fit perfectly into what you need in a friend, but it really doesn't need to be that way. This is why friendships are "easier" than partnerships, because there isn't the pressure for them to be your everything.I found poi to be the link that helped me make some great frienships. I'm very close mates with some people who would have been called hippies in the 60's, and I can say that it probably wouldn't have been that way without the fire toys connection.I'm now going to go out to the local pub and meet with my group of friends, some who poi, some who don't. If we get drunk, we won't twirl, but either way, it's going to be good.
I would even go so far as to say that all my friends are very different and that goes way beyond poi or not poi. I have friends I can go and sit on the beach and talk openly with for hours, or long as it takes, I have friends I can go out clubbing with. We all relate to people on different levels, and it's healthy to have a mix of friends to share parts of your lifestyle that wouldn't really sit comfortably with others.It's not easy for any one person to fit perfectly into what you need in a friend, but it really doesn't need to be that way. This is why friendships are "easier" than partnerships, because there isn't the pressure for them to be your everything.I found poi to be the link that helped me make some great frienships. I'm very close mates with some people who would have been called hippies in the 60's, and I can say that it probably wouldn't have been that way without the fire toys connection.I'm now going to go out to the local pub and meet with my group of friends, some who poi, some who don't. If we get drunk, we won't twirl, but either way, it's going to be good.
UYI 
OLDSKOOL
old hand
950 posts
Location: Nottingham UK
950 posts
Location: Nottingham UK
Posted:
It used to bring up a paradox in my life as I found myself moving in several different circles and felt like i was several different ppl. However these days my old friends have all got babies and as my daughter is nearly 13 I find I have little in common with them any more as our lives are at such different stages. I often get the feeling that they resent the fact that I had my kid early on in life and I now have a tremendous amount of freedom to pursue my own goals. But I still keep in touch & I' ll always be there to offer love and support if they need it.My poi/traveller (I find most are inter-connected)friends have become a lifeline as we share so many common views/interests and I now feel as though i am part of a new *family*. We don't just poi/play together we are true friends.I feel I should explain that I have radically changed my lifestyle in the past few years and that because of this I have lost quite alot of my old friends. I used to be a receptionist for a big corperation and most of my friends had similar *straight* lives. When I met a *traveller* and discovered a different life alot of ppl turned away from me. However this does not make me sad as i know that we each have our own path to follow in life.Onelove, thistlefirepixie
It used to bring up a paradox in my life as I found myself moving in several different circles and felt like i was several different ppl. However these days my old friends have all got babies and as my daughter is nearly 13 I find I have little in common with them any more as our lives are at such different stages. I often get the feeling that they resent the fact that I had my kid early on in life and I now have a tremendous amount of freedom to pursue my own goals. But I still keep in touch & I' ll always be there to offer love and support if they need it.My poi/traveller (I find most are inter-connected)friends have become a lifeline as we share so many common views/interests and I now feel as though i am part of a new *family*. We don't just poi/play together we are true friends.I feel I should explain that I have radically changed my lifestyle in the past few years and that because of this I have lost quite alot of my old friends. I used to be a receptionist for a big corperation and most of my friends had similar *straight* lives. When I met a *traveller* and discovered a different life alot of ppl turned away from me. However this does not make me sad as i know that we each have our own path to follow in life.Onelove, thistlefirepixie
Are we nearly there yet?
member
57 posts
Location: Essex England
57 posts
Location: Essex England
Posted:
Shadowblade say's:easy just have one friend and let that be it.I got rid of all mine so that i didn't have to worrie but then i got kinda board hanging on my own so i got one friend (who knows all about me and is my poi jedi master)so..... problem solved
i love you dave (JEZ)"at this point shadowblade brakes down into tears and has to be helped away from the computer by nice kind men with malcombs btb weave tops on, but wait theres no poi on the end. Hey help on my god the men in white coats have come to take me awa........"
Shadowblade say's:easy just have one friend and let that be it.I got rid of all mine so that i didn't have to worrie but then i got kinda board hanging on my own so i got one friend (who knows all about me and is my poi jedi master)so..... problem solved
i love you dave (JEZ)"at this point shadowblade brakes down into tears and has to be helped away from the computer by nice kind men with malcombs btb weave tops on, but wait theres no poi on the end. Hey help on my god the men in white coats have come to take me awa........" member
49 posts
Location: Brooklyn, NY
49 posts
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posted:
It's funny, cuz I've been thinking a whole lot about friendships lately. I just graduated from college (or uni I guess), and moved to a new city where the only people I knew were a 92 year old great aunt and 2 ex-girlfriends. I had some truly wonderful friends at school - we'd been through a hell of a lot together, as well as spending massive amounts of time in each others' presence (benefits of dorm life at a tiny liberal arts college). A bunch of us play with fire together (that's how I learned), some don't... it's pretty unrelated. Now they're all far away, but they're still my best friends, and while I know things change, I have a hard time imagining not having them in my life. I'm lucky that most of us are more or less in the same time zone, and we can do short visits, but at the same time, I feel sad about losing what we hat. I guess that's why they play that damn Sarah Mclaughlin song about I will remember you right around graduation time every year... it makes people sappy. Meanwhile, here I am, in the middle of New York City, living pretty well, meeting lots of cool people, and wondering if any of them will actually become my Friends with a capital F. I've never been one for large groups and cliques and whatnot. A few close friends are all I need. And one of my first thoughts when I found out I was coming here was "Gee, I heard there's a pretty great firetwirling scene in New York. Maybe that can be how I make friends." Hasn't happened yet, although maybe someday NYC and I will meet face to face, but I guess my point is: I wasn't looking at it in terms of poi friends and real life friends, I was thinking of it in terms of poi=my real life=friends. Make sense?peace,alleykat
It's funny, cuz I've been thinking a whole lot about friendships lately. I just graduated from college (or uni I guess), and moved to a new city where the only people I knew were a 92 year old great aunt and 2 ex-girlfriends. I had some truly wonderful friends at school - we'd been through a hell of a lot together, as well as spending massive amounts of time in each others' presence (benefits of dorm life at a tiny liberal arts college). A bunch of us play with fire together (that's how I learned), some don't... it's pretty unrelated. Now they're all far away, but they're still my best friends, and while I know things change, I have a hard time imagining not having them in my life. I'm lucky that most of us are more or less in the same time zone, and we can do short visits, but at the same time, I feel sad about losing what we hat. I guess that's why they play that damn Sarah Mclaughlin song about I will remember you right around graduation time every year... it makes people sappy. Meanwhile, here I am, in the middle of New York City, living pretty well, meeting lots of cool people, and wondering if any of them will actually become my Friends with a capital F. I've never been one for large groups and cliques and whatnot. A few close friends are all I need. And one of my first thoughts when I found out I was coming here was "Gee, I heard there's a pretty great firetwirling scene in New York. Maybe that can be how I make friends." Hasn't happened yet, although maybe someday NYC and I will meet face to face
, but I guess my point is: I wasn't looking at it in terms of poi friends and real life friends, I was thinking of it in terms of poi=my real life=friends. Make sense?peace,alleykat this little light of minei'm gonna let it shine...
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
Some day alleykat, some day.
Some day alleykat, some day.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
SILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Posted:
CassandraJust a friendly hug? I'm so disapointed. I was hoping for a nasty hug. Or one that looks, on the surface, to be friendly and full of good intent but then, at the last second, you stab me in the back with the knife you had secreted up your sleeve...... I assure you I had no other motive behind my question than friendship. Iwas just testing the waters, so to speak.With regards to the threadwhere i am currently living (and where i access the net to visit HOP) I have precisely no friends. I've never bothered to go out and meet any. I grew up round here and spent the first 24 years of my life here and still have no friends to show for it.The only friends I do have live in Sheffield which is 2 hours away and I get to see them maybe 2 weekends a month. I met them whilst I was at college and the longest friendship there was only struck in December.It was some of these people that got me into firestaff - and now I'm better than them And a need to learn threw me into this environment called HOP - where i get to chat to other lunatics who look at every day objects and say "hmmm, I could spin that! I bet it'd look way cool...."I had a point to make when i started this but now I'm damned if i can remember what it is now.erm..... Anyhoo, I was discussing with some friends a while ago about how we only ever see each other when we're in a pub on a friday night preparing to go out. And then we'll see each other in Headcharge and we wont talk cos we're off our faces, or the music is too load, or we're dancing too hard, or whatever. But we never go out and have fun in the day time. Which is a similar kind of thing I think.My train of thought is jumping round a lot tonight....I've met a lot of good friends since I've been on line. Many on different continents whom i may never meet. I've had the chance to swap ideas and chat to several people whom I have a great deal of respect for and look up to enormously (I'm not naming names as you'll just get big headed.)But i don't feel in anyway detached from them because of this. I don't know if I could call anyone on here my friend. I'm fond of several of you. But would anyone notice if I stopped posting?I'm getting paranoid now I should stop writing.I don't know if anything I've written makes any sense. ------------------C@ntus[This message has been edited by Cantus (edited 19 October 2001).]
CassandraJust a friendly hug? I'm so disapointed.
I was hoping for a nasty hug. Or one that looks, on the surface, to be friendly and full of good intent but then, at the last second, you stab me in the back with the knife you had secreted up your sleeve...... I assure you I had no other motive behind my question than friendship. Iwas just testing the waters, so to speak.With regards to the threadwhere i am currently living (and where i access the net to visit HOP) I have precisely no friends. I've never bothered to go out and meet any. I grew up round here and spent the first 24 years of my life here and still have no friends to show for it.The only friends I do have live in Sheffield which is 2 hours away and I get to see them maybe 2 weekends a month. I met them whilst I was at college and the longest friendship there was only struck in December.It was some of these people that got me into firestaff - and now I'm better than them And a need to learn threw me into this environment called HOP - where i get to chat to other lunatics who look at every day objects and say "hmmm, I could spin that! I bet it'd look way cool...."I had a point to make when i started this but now I'm damned if i can remember what it is now.erm..... Anyhoo, I was discussing with some friends a while ago about how we only ever see each other when we're in a pub on a friday night preparing to go out. And then we'll see each other in Headcharge and we wont talk cos we're off our faces, or the music is too load, or we're dancing too hard, or whatever. But we never go out and have fun in the day time. Which is a similar kind of thing I think.My train of thought is jumping round a lot tonight....I've met a lot of good friends since I've been on line. Many on different continents whom i may never meet. I've had the chance to swap ideas and chat to several people whom I have a great deal of respect for and look up to enormously (I'm not naming names as you'll just get big headed.)But i don't feel in anyway detached from them because of this. I don't know if I could call anyone on here my friend. I'm fond of several of you. But would anyone notice if I stopped posting?I'm getting paranoid now I should stop writing.I don't know if anything I've written makes any sense. ------------------C@ntus[This message has been edited by Cantus (edited 19 October 2001).] Meh
BRONZE Member
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia
freelance bum
286 posts
Location: Upstairs, Australia
Posted:
This thread has shown me some things about myself. I used to think I was fairly rare in that I was worried about the coming and going of friends. I know a lot of people who will simply not change their lives and put up with a lot of nonsense from their friends simply because they have been friends for so long. I'm 26 and have no friends from longer than 4 years ago. Sounds like a sad and lonely existence, but here's why.I've been addicted to travel for a long time. I move a lot. I've had more addresses than I am years old. I've been overseas twice and have travelled around Australia, all on a very low wage. I'm not in the one place for very long, it's simply in my nature. Subsequently, It's easy to lose contact with those that were once close to me, and in the case of a failed email address, I disappeared off the face of the internet according to 12 friends (that hurt) It is sometimes hard to be making new friends, only to lose them again all too often. In this case because of not being able to see each other rather than because of lifestyle differencesBut as I've lead this life I have developed the ability to open up to people very quickly, and become a good enough judge of character to be able to tell who I'm going to friends with, and simply get on with it. Something a lot of my stable, stationary friends can't do as easily. Travellers need friends too, but as time may be short, it's a matter of some haste to find people you like. The poi link is that, ALL the people I've met who twirl are travellers. Willing to take a risk, try something new, let someone who knows more than you to teach you. All characteristics of both travellers and fire babies, to some degree anyway. I think this is why some of us may have insecurities about friends. It's healthy though. We worry because we care.Does anyone else agree with me or have any other thoughts on the traveller/poi connection? Or is it just me and my wacky friends? ------------------Your parents were wrongFire is good Play with fire
This thread has shown me some things about myself. I used to think I was fairly rare in that I was worried about the coming and going of friends. I know a lot of people who will simply not change their lives and put up with a lot of nonsense from their friends simply because they have been friends for so long. I'm 26 and have no friends from longer than 4 years ago. Sounds like a sad and lonely existence, but here's why.I've been addicted to travel for a long time. I move a lot. I've had more addresses than I am years old. I've been overseas twice and have travelled around Australia, all on a very low wage. I'm not in the one place for very long, it's simply in my nature. Subsequently, It's easy to lose contact with those that were once close to me, and in the case of a failed email address, I disappeared off the face of the internet according to 12 friends (that hurt) It is sometimes hard to be making new friends, only to lose them again all too often. In this case because of not being able to see each other rather than because of lifestyle differencesBut as I've lead this life I have developed the ability to open up to people very quickly, and become a good enough judge of character to be able to tell who I'm going to friends with, and simply get on with it. Something a lot of my stable, stationary friends can't do as easily. Travellers need friends too, but as time may be short, it's a matter of some haste to find people you like. The poi link is that, ALL the people I've met who twirl are travellers. Willing to take a risk, try something new, let someone who knows more than you to teach you. All characteristics of both travellers and fire babies, to some degree anyway. I think this is why some of us may have insecurities about friends. It's healthy though. We worry because we care.Does anyone else agree with me or have any other thoughts on the traveller/poi connection? Or is it just me and my wacky friends?
------------------Your parents were wrongFire is good Play with fire UYI OLDSKOOL
Froggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !
Posted:
Yes Audax, it is really funny you should mention this poi / fire / traveling connection.I don't know if it is real in general, maybe not, but for me it definitely means A LOT. I don't know if I am making up some magical link between the two or if there really is ... I started firedancing 5 months ago and felt change inside me (nothing of the horror - Alien movie type- kind of change though )Seriously, I have taken the decision to pack in a few months and travel around a bit and somehow it feels like both are connected...As fo losing contact with friends...those who mean something you'll meet them again. I have friends I can't be in touch with for different reasons, but I love them and know taht when we meet again we'll just continue our conversation where we left it...but for those friendships that end in a more "active" way, I remain hurt and speechless. It is all right for a love story to end (not saying it is a happy event, but more ... I don't know ...natural ?) than friendship, I mean *real* friendship IMHO. How many real friends does one have? 2? 3? When these friendship end it is really painfull...but what can one do ?Shine onCassandra
Yes Audax, it is really funny you should mention this poi / fire / traveling connection.I don't know if it is real in general, maybe not, but for me it definitely means A LOT. I don't know if I am making up some magical link between the two or if there really is ... I started firedancing 5 months ago and felt change inside me (nothing of the horror - Alien movie type- kind of change though
)Seriously, I have taken the decision to pack in a few months and travel around a bit and somehow it feels like both are connected...As fo losing contact with friends...those who mean something you'll meet them again. I have friends I can't be in touch with for different reasons, but I love them and know taht when we meet again we'll just continue our conversation where we left it...but for those friendships that end in a more "active" way, I remain hurt and speechless. It is all right for a love story to end (not saying it is a happy event, but more ... I don't know ...natural ?) than friendship, I mean *real* friendship IMHO. How many real friends does one have? 2? 3? When these friendship end it is really painfull...but what can one do ?Shine onCassandra "I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"
member
219 posts
Location: Melbourne Australia
219 posts
Location: Melbourne Australia
Posted:
I guess eveyone has different groups of freinds who they act deifferently with.e.g. With my "piss head" freinds i can be the biggest dickhead, fall over, throw up and pass out and nobody thinks any less of me.With "poi" freinds i guess we all get to go a little crazy, and act a different way to when we are with other freinds. I guess thats why i have been on this site everyday since i found it (about two weeks ago).In the immortal words of the great Eric Cartman "I love you guys"CheersAPB
I guess eveyone has different groups of freinds who they act deifferently with.e.g. With my "piss head" freinds i can be the biggest dickhead, fall over, throw up and pass out and nobody thinks any less of me.With "poi" freinds i guess we all get to go a little crazy, and act a different way to when we are with other freinds. I guess thats why i have been on this site everyday since i found it (about two weeks ago).In the immortal words of the great Eric Cartman "I love you guys"CheersAPB
Good on usGood on us all
SILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Posted:
wow. I've changed a lot and lots has changed around me (and here) since i last posted in this thread....
wow. I've changed a lot and lots has changed around me (and here) since i last posted in this thread....
Meh
NYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA
Posted:
Yes. In fact I had to run back and edit my initial post you wascally wabbit.
I posted that before I'd met any of you.
My best friends in the world are on this site.
Heck, I've even got a new crop of friends out HERE that I hadn't even met when I posted this.
Very outdated indeed.
Makes me all sentimental thinking of meeting you all in person for the first time.
Yup. Many 'real friends' and few 'best friends' and even one 'special one in particular' right here on my favorite website.
Yes. In fact I had to run back and edit my initial post you wascally wabbit.
I posted that before I'd met any of you.
My best friends in the world are on this site.
Heck, I've even got a new crop of friends out HERE that I hadn't even met when I posted this.
Very outdated indeed.
Makes me all sentimental thinking of meeting you all in person for the first time.
Yup. Many 'real friends' and few 'best friends' and even one 'special one in particular' right here on my favorite website.
Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]
SILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom
Posted:
Oops sorry dude. Mustn't have read it properly
[edited: cos i've spotted what's changed
]
Nice save
Written by: NYC
Yes. In fact I had to run back and edit my initial post you wascally wabbit.
Oops sorry dude. Mustn't have read it properly
[edited: cos i've spotted what's changed
]Nice save
Meh
SILVER Member
veteran
1,389 posts
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
veteran
1,389 posts
Location: Guelph, ON, Canada
Posted:
Hmm, read this for the first time, and it makes me kinda sad, because I have friends here, but none that you spend hours sitting on your bed talking about everything and anything, like I did with my friends at home. I really want to make friends like that, but I'm not really wanting to, because I know that I will leave, and so do they.
Also, language barriers make things like that harder
~ Bobo
Hmm, read this for the first time, and it makes me kinda sad, because I have friends here, but none that you spend hours sitting on your bed talking about everything and anything, like I did with my friends at home. I really want to make friends like that, but I'm not really wanting to, because I know that I will leave, and so do they.
Also, language barriers make things like that harder
~ Bobo
wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier
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