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Forums > Social Chat > advise please, on sticky situation.

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Posted:I have been performing with a couple of other spinners, when we first got together we decided it would be *one for all, all for one* which I was really happy about. I didn't know them very well when this was agreed & as time has passed it has become apparent that they do not see the work the same as i do. When I am performing I keep a VERY straight head, I take no drugs or alcohol as i see this as unprofessional, however my co-performers get really off their heads and because of this we are losing work. Their behavoir is becoming increasingly outragous at gigs. The last gig we had we lost because one of them was really drunk and had a domestic with their partner in the club, also we were given a free bar tab which they went totally overboard with & cost the management a small fortune. I consider these ppl my friends so as you can imagine it makes it difficult to go it alone without losing the friendship.What I am looking for is advise. What would you do if you were me? I have already spelled it out that I think we should not get *off it* when working but no-one pays any attention. Where can I go from Here?I have posted as anon so as to prevent any hurt feelings should any involved parties read this (which is unlikely but i have a healthy paranoia).


Location: NYC, NY, USA
Member Since: 26th Aug 2001
Total posts: 9232
Posted:There are friends who you can work with, and there are friends you can't. Some of my friends I would trust with anything, and some I get uncomfortable when I leave them alone in my living room. It sounds like your friends are fun, but I wouldn't loan them my car. First, I'd talk with them seriously in a setting set up for just that. NOT in passing or at a gig. "Guys I'd like to meet for a few minutes for a meeting, when can we meet?" Sometimes people don't realize when we are being serious.Tell them you are worrying and that you need some groundrules to put your mind at ease. DON"T judge their behavior but DO list what kind of behavior that you need to work. This puts the ball in their court. Either they can respect your needs and change or they can chose not to, in which case you have reason to become annoyed and take action.If your friends are not respecting you, then that's a problem. If they are not respecting you and know it, then they are not your friends.

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

Location: Rochester, NY, USA
Member Since: 19th Jun 2001
Total posts: 442
Posted:Pele had a similar issue with a past performing partner. They (non-gender specific) did not share the same work ethic that she does. And because of that they had to be let go.If you're considering making real money at this then you'll either have to convince them to take this seriously, or go alone.It's a bummer to go alone, but sometimes you have to do what's right for you.NYC had a better explanation for the convincing part, but I wanted to add another opinion for emphasis.------------------"Except for that Mrs. Lincoln, How did you like the play?"Pyromorph - Let the fire change you

FYI: I am not Pele. If you wish to reply to me and use a short version of my name, use: PWB.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Jay Simpson


Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas
Member Since: 21st Aug 2001
Total posts: 3899
Posted:I don't know what to do about it, but I saw some aquantences of mine do the following: They set up a large scale public show, with lots of effort on advertizing and sound and video equipment and such. The night of the show - only one of the performers showed! And get this - that person had had a loss in the family earlier that day! That person was commited enough to go to the performance, and all the others flaked for no particularly good reason at all! So the show finally went on (two hours late) after that person recriuted a couple other not quite so talented fire performers that were supposed to act support that night. I was in the audience. Had I known their dilemma, I would have volunteered to help, but they didn't know me very well at the time and I had no idea there was a problem until they were well under way. They pulled off a show at least, but it suffered greatly in comparison to the other shows I've seen that group do. The one committed performer did most of the one and a half hour show, and was clearly getting extremely fatigued by the end of the show, and was visibly upset by then too. I have to say that my respect for that person (for being able to carry off the show single handedly) went up significantly.Such are the pitfalls of dealing with people who like to perform...


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