CassandraFroggie ... Ribbit !!!
4,224 posts
Location: Back in Paris... for now !

All right, so I am sitting and talking with someone and telling her about the little fire and juggling/twirling show I want to make for a friend's wedding in a few months. All happy about that conversation I end up saying "who knows, by that time I might be real good and someone else might ask me to perform elsewhere and that could be the beginning of a long successful carrier"
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All she said was "don't they rather hire pretty girls for gigs and performances ?". And yes, it hurt my ego and did not particularly lift up my allready low self esteem, but that sh* is for me to deal with personnaly.But this got me thinking ... I am short and "round" and probably not what people call " pretty" in academic terms. SO WHAT ? Will that prevent me from becoming a performer if i wanted to ? Is beauty AGAIN the "sine qua none" condition also in the world of fire dancing performers ? If I was to do ballet or modeling, I'd understand people to expect this cold paper version of beauty (please any models and ballet dancers here see no offense, it is not you I am angry at, it is the rest of society that makes you the one and only reference...). those of you performers girls and boys I saw through videos and websites are beautiful , sexy and shine (Firefly, Flash, DB, Pele, Dimension 4 etc...)and I think it is wonderful and have no problem whatsoever with that , but is there anything else out there ? Yes, I admit I am very pissed which in a way is almost ridiculous cause noone actually ever told me personnaly yet "please don't spin, your ugliness ruins the landscape" ... or some crap like that. But truth is this subject is a touchy one for me and I want to know the opinion you people have...I don't expect anyone to tell me "I'd shoot any ugly person I see erforming" but it is rather what you honestly think in term of performing.If spinning is a passion, then I guess the look does not matter, just the enthousiasmif it is technique, then the technical challenge is what people see, almost like seeing the tool (poi) and not the performerif it is dancing , movement, performing ... then what ?Shine onCassandra

"I want brown bread... no, that is diesel oil..."
"So I was raised in Europe, where History comes from ..."
"NON !!! La Plume de mon oncle n est pas Bingibangibungi !!!"

PeleBRONZE Member
the henna lady
6,193 posts
Location: WNY, USA

On confidence....there is the tricky one really. Everyone one in the world can tell you how beautiful you are but with no confidence in yourself to back it up, it doesn't add up too much but a flickering nice feeling.I can tell you a small story if you will humor me.I have two older sisters, and my father picked nicknames for all of us. The eldest was doll, the middle was princess and I was ugly. No, I don't know why. What I do know is that he meant it as a joke but for most of my life I did not take it as such, all this thrown in with jokes about being fat and stupid. I have always been into the arts, especially acting and writing, and I wanted to make a career out of it. My parents have always told me that if I wasn't a teacher then I would essentially be nothing since those who can't do teach. This type of lack of support was a constant from them, even now. So, I leave home at 19 and find myself fallen for this guy who over time tells me that I am fat, ugly and stupid, and guess what? I believed him. I gave up writing and performing while with him, though I took classes, because I wasn't conident enough to do it. And now that I am nearly 7 years away from him, I still struggle with the fat, ugly, stupid thing everyday. Whipping Boy and my friends do all they can to help me with this and I have come a long way but to have a strong confidence in myself is a long way off.However, I took up bellydancing while with my ex...and I felt sexy. I began performing again after I left him, and when I put that costume on and step out there I am Pele, or Maggie, or whomever and I am completely confident. I started writing to some nice ends. I began with fire and my confidence was bolstered. And every time I spin, and I wrap myself in that firey cage, whether in front of an audience or not, it protects me. I know at that moment I believe in myself and my abilities. I know I wear a smile. I know I am lovely, at least in my eyes. That is all you need concern yourself with.A thousand outside voices telling you great things will never be able to drown out that one inside voice that tells you otherwise. You have to work on changing the inside voice so that the outside ones don't matter so much. That remark about you wouldn't have upset you so if you didn't somewhere inside you have the belief that it were true. That is the hardest part to overcome, but it can be done. I know I am not stupid, I am still working on the ugly one (I am up to admitting that I am average...a good step, and as for the fat well....I am shaped like Marilyn Monroe...I remind myself of that and I am happy)Ironically, remember that I H8 Pele message awhile ago? When I tracked the person down and confronted him/her, I was told that the reason why s/he came after me was because I am so confident and didn't seem like it would effect me. Little did the person know....Cassandra, believe in what you do and through that you can believe in yourself.And if you are the Cassandra from the photo's in the gallery, in the white shirt bending backward, I see nothing for you to be worried about.Much love beautiful one....------------------Pele Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...

Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir
"Oooh look! A pub!" -exclaimed after recovering from a stupid fall
"And for the decadence of art, nothing beats a roaring fire." -TMK

97 posts
Location: Round Rock TX , US

They are obviously jealous of your sexy, and beautyfull ability to dance with the most powerfull element nown to man. That person is not your friend. I mean, just listen to all of the people talking on this topic. Everyone is saying nice things to bring you out of your lowered self esteem. I am sure that this person is uglier than dirt just by the way they treated you. If you don't become a performer because of that person I think that makes them even uglier for keeping a beautyful thing down. Rise from the ashes oh beautyful Pheonix.

SupermanBRONZE Member
829 posts
Location: Houston, Texas, USA

it didnt have to be men's underware...hee heeAll i know it is awesome to see the luv in this room..we should all step back and reflect.Super'------------------"When a Man Lies He Murders Some Part of the World These Are the PaleDeaths Which Men Miscall Their Lives All this I Cannot Bear to Witness Any Longer Cannot the Kingdom of Salvation Take Me Home"

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.

- Mark Twain

cutie poi girliemember
237 posts
Location: porthtowan, truro, cornwall

That is soooo tight! Don't worry Cassandra, i think your really cool. and any way, i'd rather look at some one's skills, not their beauty... i know how you feel, cos i'm not 'pretty' either..
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Luv peace 'n' chicken grease Al X x

9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Unfortunately, I'm drop dead gorgeous so I really can't relate. Oh wait, that's not me. Darn. But seriously, I think of the performers that I admire in ALL walks of life (singers, dancers, artists, jugglers, magicians, musicians, etc...) I rarely focus on their looks either way. Have you ever watched ANY performance and said "Wow, this would be amazing if only the girl was a bit prettier!"? Of course not! Was ANYONE looking at faces while watching "circles of light"? Heck no, I was transfixed on the performances.I disagree with Whipping Boy, I think that professionalism (in apperance and action) would far outweigh any minor discrepancies within genetic appearance. Clearly, though, if someone is claiming to be a physical performer, they should look the part.

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

flash fireBRONZE Member
Sporadically Prodigal
2,758 posts
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia

unfortunately I've come into this thread really late, so all the things I would have said have already been voiced
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Everyone's pretty much correct though.sorry that you had to take that blow to your selfesteem. as a woman of the world, I too, am extremely sensitive about my appearance, mostly because I have curey curves and "womanly" hips... you just gotta know how to use things like this to your comes from within and I think that every better-than-average-ability fire person I've ever seen perform has been extremely physically appealing. Reason for this is their spirit, passion, energy and confidence. Fire ignites something special inside people; creates an effervescent and attractive light behind thier eyes.Confidence is the key to everything. A 100 watt smile comes a close second, and from all accounts Cass - your smile is a million dollar one. so use it girlfriend!!PWB is also correct - this world is not filled with forward thinking individuals accepting of all outward appearances. So long as you are armed with this knowledge, surely you can use it to your advantage.You reflect what you project... If you project confidence, beauty and charisma, that's what people will see
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IMO, you project beauty, compassion and peace - all very appealing attributes. more power to you Cass
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KatincaSee my vest.... see my vest...
693 posts
Location: Adelaide - South Australia

Hey CassIf I saw a twirly wirly girl who the crowd thought of as attractive - looks only I might add. Unless she had style and grace and some sweet moves, I would find her boring and unmoving. All she would have is her looks whoopee thanks mum and dad for your genes, none of this was my doing what so ever.I personally would much prefer people to judge me on how I twirl- my style, moves, transitions, then anything to do with my looks. In fact when I get that male crap woof whistling crap and crude comments stuff (no offence to you fellas who don't do this but..) it makes me really angry and very self-conscious and I usually stop my twirling and go hide in a corner. I agree with everyone else, beauty comes from within, and if you friend doesn't know that, then they are a pretty narrow-minded person. (Not trying to bag your friend here)In my experience the most beautiful people I know are defiantly not supermodels. I find a lot of the very attractive blonde, make-up, high heeled, acrylic nail loving junkies, stuck-up selfish and nasty. And I am surprised that they even have one true friend in the world.NO sir-ree beauty is from within, and it is definitely in the eye of the beholder. I can pretty mus guarantee all of us here on HOP think you are one of the most beautiful people on this message board Cass. Dont let the world bring you down
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Shine on baby! Make us proud and show your friend just what *REAL* beauty is.Love and light.------------------ ~*~ Katinca ~*~

Love and Light

~*~ Katinca ~*~

93 posts
Location: ringwood,nj usa

part of being a performer is being different. the more skin you show the more it glowsand fuck that bitch or shall we feel bad for someone so lame really

Better to Burn out than Fade out, Baby!

that last post reads like a haiku
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22 posts
Location: Auckland New Zealand

I hate to say it, and ill prob sound up myself and aggrogent...But i would rather watch an attractive womman wiggle with pois than an ugly one. Im sorry but I cannot but help the fact. Its just my personal prefence... id rather perve than spectate.If I see an attractive woman wiggling with pois i dont really look at the pois, infact its more of a "Nice ass, sure would love too...."If I see someone I dont find attractive wiggling well with pois... "Man shes good with those"On the other hand... I appreciate good fire work, and if your good... well ill sit and watch anyday... but im a red blooded male who likes women... We all cant help but be superficial on occasion.As long as you enjoy what you do (Hey cause im neither, not attractive, nor good with pois... infact i spend more time burning than they do) who really cares what other impression of you is.I have a passion about what I do... and I could care less what others 2c anyway

8 posts
Location: Ashburton, New Zealand

I came in really late too, but thought "hey, I'm new, I'll stick my oar in too"! If people say that you don't have the right look, just say "BE F**KED!" in a really loud commanding tone, and crack 'em over the head with a large club-like object! na, really, everyone is beautiful, I've found that the gorgeous slim chicks that I know, tend to have delusions of grandeur (did I spell that right?) and think that they're something that they're not. Anyway, nicely rounded people give better hugs.

The very existance of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. - George Carlin

93 posts
Location: ringwood,nj usa

i realsie i was a little harsh in my commentary and would like to appaulogise for the f wordpeas and carrots sara

Better to Burn out than Fade out, Baby!

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