Forums > Social Chat > Stress and problems (sorry to post yet anouther one)

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Pink...?
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

Pink...?

Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There, United Kingdom

Total posts: 6140
Posted:Sorry i dont want to post this but i really have no where else to turn.

I am feeling so stressed and depressed recently i am not acting like myself.
I was planning to go into the Navy - had my entrance date and everything when i done my knee in and now i can't go in for a while, so i've been job hunting. Now i've changed my mind anyway and want to persue a different career. Anyway i've been job hunting for 5 months now with no luck everyone says i need experiance, but how can i get this when no one will employ me?

I have no money at all, which is getting me down, i'm only 17 so cannot recieve benefits. I feel so isolated from my mates - which i recently noticed i dont really have many - there's Justine and Helen. I dont feel i can really talk to either of them. Also they both work full time so they can't come and see me. I know there's the London Poi lot but i dont really think they think of me as a friend - i mean i only see them at Claphams not as if i ever do anything else with them, i never talk to them on the phone or anything.

To make it worse my mum got sacked 2 weeks ago so she cannot give me any money to go out with. I feel like i'm trapped in a prison, i can't go out for walks or things as my knee will hurt, haven't money to see my friends. Also i'm just stuck with my mum all day and night. She also doesn't have any friends. No one will employ me, i've applied for shop work, cleaning, admin, secretarial, data entry etc...

I have been so down with all this i keep on shouting at my mum, when we normally have a great relationship. I have a go for the littlest of things, like she says to turn to TV down as she's trying to sleep i shout at her when it's a reasonable request! When i'm not shouting and having a go, i keep breaking down into tears about the littlest. Also i have a history of self harm, and i'm finding it very hard not to just revert back to it, It's taking more will power then i think i can sustain

Now to stop myself taking the path i used to (self harm) i decided to see my GP. So i went to her and she just said to me, "Hmm.. seems like you need to get some money to go and do something to take your mind of things, If you were really determined then you could find a job there's the whole world out there". What the f*** does she think i've been trying to do? not as if i not been trying... far from it! And not determined? How the hell can i be any more?

I feel like i'm a walking bomb - about to go off any minute, except not to explode as such but to break down. I am trying so hard to be strong and keep my will power up and not do anything i'll regret - but i can't anymore. I can't keep this up. I hate shouting at my mum, i hate breaking down in tears all the time. I just want to be myself again.

Anyway i'm so sorry. I didn't know where else to turn. I know it sounds sad and all but you guys are the only people i can think to turn to now. I'm sorry. you dont have to reply - i'll delete this if you want?

[ 15. October 2003, 05:20: Message edited by: Pink Poi ]


Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

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ben-ja-men
GOLD Member since Jun 2003

ben-ja-men

just lost .... evil init
Location: Adelaide, Australia

Total posts: 2474
Posted:ok first things first

im sorry to hear that you feel so down job hunting can be very soul destroying, do u have any idea as to what sort of job you are interested in? can you do a short course/traineeship? have u spoken to a government agency to see what sort of training programs are available? do any of your family members have/know ppl who are might be able to give u work experience?

something that may help with your interviews is body language, head up, chest out shoulders down and back (it makes the world of difference) if u look confident (even if u dont feel it) employers will have more faith in your abilities (the show u what to do neway) if u have a modeling channle on tv watch that and try to imitate what the models do, the mirror is your best friend.

i would suggest looking into doing some personal development (the book absolute happyness by micheal rowland is an excellent one) it would be a good idea to find a healthy outlet for your frustration. helling at a tree or hitting a pillow works for me its a very cleansing feeling

have hope things will work themselves out you just have to believe in yourself you may have to do some study or do work experience (just ring companys and ask if u can do it there, be forwarned though you will get quite alot of knockbacks as it takes them time and effort to organise it for u)

i would suggest appoligising to your mom about yelling at her it will make you both feel better.

as far as not having any money goes i know how much it sucks i did 4 years of uni with $30 a week income and i had to buy books n bus tickets out of that. look on the bright side though you have a roof over your head and a loving mom.


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?

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BigDav


BigDav

member
Location: Derry, N. Ireland

Total posts: 175
Posted:Alice

We have spoke before on PM and I understand you are having a hard time. Getting a job is not an easy thing to do, I know, im still trying to get a job that I enjoy!

My main concern is your self harm issue. I know you are past that now, but hurting yourself is not going to make things better. It will actually make things worse. Why would an employeer employee someone with scars on their wrists??? thin about it...

I will always be here for you Pink if you ever need to chat. Call me anytime of the day or night. Ill PM you with my phone number. What more are friends for???

I am a member of a Charity called Foyle Search and Rescue which is a voluntary orgainisation to help prevent the loss of life in our local river. We deal with people with issues similar to yours all the time. The best advise I can give you is to think about the happy things in your life. THink about the good times and also the better times. Remember the first time you tried poi? Remember your first kiss? Remember your first love? Remember the day I offered you a job (Today)?

A job will come your way soon. The best thing to do is stick with it and be happy. The good days will out weigh the bad days! It wont be long until you get a job and you look back and think, my god, I was getting upset because of all this?

Self harm is not the answer. I should know! Ive seen the effects it has on the people around you. Imagine what your mum and dad will have to go through when they find you after you have hurt yourself. Imagine if you actually die because of your injurys! It may take away your pain and suffering but you would have caused a life time of suffereing for your family and also your friends here on HoP! Yes we will miss you too! Who is going to ask all the newbiew do they like the colour pink?

Anyway, I think you should make another appointment with a different doctor and speak to them and explain your deep down feelings to them. If you have thought about self harm recently - TELL THE DOCTOR!

I love you Alice and I couldnt live without you! Oh my goodness, who will show me their piercing in the middle of the arrivals hall in gatwick airport on January 11th 2004? Noone but YOU

You are in my prayers Alice and everyone on HoP is your friends. We are all just a PM away!

Love luck and Lollipops
Davin


Be Good, and if you DONT be Good, Buy a Pram!

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spritie
SILVER Member since Sep 2001

spritie

Pooh-Bah
Location: Galveston, TX, USA

Total posts: 2014
Posted:I understand your pain. I think most of us have been jobless at some point in our lives, and know what an awful feeling it is to not find what you are looking for. Stick with it though, and your hard work will pay off. Like Ben-ja-min said, attitude and appearance mean a lot in an interview. I've found it also helps to learn something you like about the company before you go in for an interview. Then, at the interview mention what you like and why. It shows the interviewer that you have done some research about the company, and that you really are interested.

If all else fails, have you looked into internships at all? While they might not give money now, they are a decent way to gain experience in a given field. Also, at least in the states, retail companies are hiring seasonal employees right now to prepare for the Xmas shopping season. You may give them another shot if you tried them a while ago. Also, be sure to make follow up calls and write follow up letters to those places you have interviewed with. They like to see you are genuinely interested.

Hang in there, things will improve.

-spritie


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Captain Hazzard
BRONZE Member since Jan 2003

Captain Hazzard

Ninja (shhhh, don't tell)
Location: Truro, UK

Total posts: 420
Posted:alice you poor thing. thats what this social forums for, to make friends.
being out of a job, when you actually want one, is a horrible thing indeed. the only advice i can give is just keep trying. i was unemployed for around 2 years once.
i used to get terrible headaches all the time, but my doc said that i didn't! i changed him and was diagnosed as stressed/depressed. my new doc cleared it all up.
remember the pink, and keep trying. the only way people fail is when they stop trying


I only wanted to be 16... and free

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pounce
SILVER Member since Jan 2003

pounce

All the neurotic makings of America's lesser known sweetheart
Location: body in Las Vegas, heart all a...

Total posts: 9831
Posted:aw hun, i know what you're going through, and i know there aren't a whole lot of words that are gonna make it better right away. but i'm glad you came here to talk and are seeking out help. it sounds like you're depressed, and it's ridiculous that your doctor didn't pick up on that and recommend a therapist or even meds if that's where you want to go with that. they can be helpful sometimes, but i know they aren't for everyone.

you can always im me if you ever need to talk. listening is kind of my forte (i'm a therapist). i know what it's like to feel alone and feel like you don't have support. it is out there, though, through all of us and your family and friends, but sometimes they don't see what you are going through and may seem unavailable. i'm going through a lot of what you are right now too....i just moved away from my family and friends for my internship (which i'm starting to hate cause they are completely unsupportive) and i've been feeling all sorts of alone. so please im me we can be there for each other! lol

but seriously, as far as the self-harm goes, you are a strong person to even just have acknowledged that you do it and know that it's not healthy for you. you have overcome it once, and i know the temptation is difficult to resist, but there are plenty of us here that would love to be there for you if you feel like you can't do it alone. please remember that.

we all love you and are here for you.

lisa


ps, if you want to chat with me, my AIM sn is aniphreak44, and i'm on MSN too - ani_phreak (at) hotmail (dot) com
or just PM me and i'll email u back


I was always scared with my mother's obsession with the good scissors. It made me wonder if there were evil scissors lurking in the house somewhere.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

**giggles**

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frostypaw


Great balls of fire
Location: Tunbridge Wells, Kent

Total posts: 643
Posted:I just wanna give you the biggest poor pink poister - I'd ring but am in no shape to try and cheer anyone up myself! maybe i shoulda forcibly dragged you out to thorpe park that friday

in the meantime i'm gonna make sure you have my email address so you can chat when you need to, and resolve to come visit! will have to just didn't realise you were 17 so no taking you out for a drink bring you a book... that sort of nonsense

don't feel alone Alice. you're not - and just how much people care for you shines through on these boards, and i suspect soon this thread. if this was all in person? you'd probably die under the group hug

if anything you're... on pause. which never lasts, though time seems to stretch while you're there this too will pass.

time to teach your mum to spin fire and start doing paid performances as a doubleact?


I can SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:Oops! Mayby I shouldn't have been teasing you about your recent inconsitancy over the pink question on the intro threads...

No harm done, I hope?

I hope you know I still care, even if I haven't PMed in a while. There will be one there shortly.


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Narr


Narr

(*) (*) .. for the gnor ;)
Location: sitting on the step

Total posts: 2568
Posted:hey there i totally know where you're at, i haven't worked since xmas and have applied for every job going and it is totally soul destroying,man i cant even get a job cleaning toilets!!i was gonna suggest lots of things while reading your post but ben got there first, the cheeky lil scamp.
but i really suggest taking up a course, even if its just evenings, you'll make more friends, be bettering you qualifications and it'll take your mind off things too.
now you say you only have two friends but look at it from this perspective (ie mine), i only have three that i see on a regular basis (and theyre in a different country right now)then i have friends i see every week or so then people i just bump into in clubs and so on and so on.in the end there are lots and lots of people who know you and love you i know i have never met yuo but from your posts here you sound like a bubbly friendly person and a total sweetheart and the people from HOP who have met you will conferm that
just remember things are s*$# now so they can only get better (i know that sounds really really patronising but it is so true)you have to stay positive, everything in life happens for a reason (again patronising but true)just think if anything like this was to happen again you know that you can get through it, you will have learned from it and will know what to do. its already happening..you have recognised the signs and that you need help and support so that you dont harm again,so your halfway there on that one, when i was getting panic attacks i remember that it was the fear of haveing an attack that sorted me out, i was so affraid all the time that in the end i got real angry at it and became indignant that it wouldn't rule my life anymore. so get angry, yell, scream ,cry beat up your teddy, because trust me it makes you so so strong.
and as ben said speak to your mum clear the air so you can support eachother, and remember we are all here for you, you can always PM me or my email is in my profile thingy you can pore your heart out and ill do my best to help out i'll even dye my hair pink again if that'll help


she who sees from up high smiles

Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*

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woodnymph


woodnymph

member
Location: london,uk

Total posts: 313
Posted:I don't even know you but you were one of the first people who welcomed me to this site,as you do a lot of newcomers and i'd love to meet you!I'm not busy,i had to stop working in april due to sudden illness and i'm betterish now and got plenty of time on my hands.I'll pm you my phone no.(if your box isn't full already).I'm getting thru a tough time too and i think i know how you feel..you really are not alone out there...
lot of love,woodnymph.


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polythene


veteran
Location: London/ Surrey

Total posts: 1359
Posted:Alice, friends you don't see often are still friends. Sometimes life and geography just get in the way, so take that into account when counting buddies. Besides, quality not quantity. I'd rather have one soul mate than 50 aquaintances.

On the job front, yes, the no-job-no-experience-no-job circle is a vicous and frustrating one. My best suggestion would be a little voluntary work. It won't get you money, but neither does your current situation, and it will at least give you some experience and relieve the 'cabin fever' somewhat.

If I were you (and you don't have to spend money to travel there) I'd try 'blackmailing' your GP first. She said you needed to get out and do stuff, right? Offer to do voluntary office work at the surgery. Surgeries are almost always overworked, and the NHS loves staff they don't have to pay. Just a couple of weeks would give you general office/secretarial experience, and 'voluntary' always looks good on a CV. Then you could apply for some temping work. (I did exactly this when I was 17 and wanted to bulk up my CV, so it does work!)

Good luck, hope the stress eases soon.
(I've even put a pink smiley on the end of my post- true sacrifice...)


The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.

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Fitria


member
Location: Australia

Total posts: 97
Posted:Pink:

I am truly sorry to hear what a hard time of life you have been having lately...I wish i was there so I could give you a HUGE hug.



I myself have been suffering from depression as well for the past six years. I have been on and off medication constantly, which I know is not a cure but sometimes it helps just to clear my head and make me think better (as you know when you get depressed the thought waves in your brain alter).

My first suggestion would be get a new doctor...the one you have sounds like a moronic idiot!

The next would be find one who can actually help you.

It sounds to me like you need to either seek some sort of help, whether that be professionally or maybe try medication till you are feeling better or your situation improves. It will also lighten your mood which will also help you find a job (when you are depressed you sort of emit those type of vibes and it makes it hard during interviews to be at your best!).

I am not saying that the medication is the best way to go but I know that I used to hurt myself too when I was in a really bad depressive state and I found that they helped me...and I didn't hurt myself any more.

It might not be the solution for you but at least it is an option worth thinking about.

Remember this: Depression is a SERIOUS illness...many people do not understand it...they think because they can't see it it does not exist...I am telling you that it is real...it does exist and you need to get help as soon as possible.

I hope that everything works out okay for you. I am here for you if you ever need to talk.

Love and hugs.




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[Nx?]
BRONZE Member since Nov 2001

[Nx?]

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Europe,Scotland,Both

Total posts: 3749
Posted:Alice, alice,

I vived remeber the first time we met, you accompanied me through the park at sheffeild whrer i didnt know everyone and you made me feel right at home even tho it wasnt even your home!

you are a wonderfull special person, and it always lifts me to see you.

you just hang in there, I agree about dumping your doctor, and find some counciling help (some of the above seem like a very good idea) but most of all remeber "no-ones dead yet, its ok, things will change"

I have every confidence you will be right as rain in no time.

Tom


This is a post by tom, all spelling is deleberate
-><- Kallisti

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onewheeldave
GOLD Member since Aug 2002

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: sheffield, United Kingdom

Total posts: 3252
Posted:I've just posted my views/experience on depression here: -

http://www.homeofpoi.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=006416
br>
It's perhaps not a sympathetic view, which is why I've put it on a seperate thread; but I found it practical, and to me at the time practical was of more use than sympathy.

I know how horrible depression is and I hope that you find your way out of it.


"You can't outrun Death forever.
But you can make the Bastard work for it."

--MAJOR KORGO KORGAR,
"Last of The Lancers"
AFC 32


Educate your self in the Hazards of Fire Breathing STAY SAFE!

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Flynt
SILVER Member since May 2002

Flynt

Intrepid Penguin
Location: , Australia

Total posts: 5635
Posted:Alice honey, firstly, BIG HUGZ

You'll survive this. You really will. Dont let the sadness get you down honey, just hang in there a little bit more!

Heres a few suggestions for stuff to do, both for work and for fun:

Volunteer work! Check out your local op shops, and other charity venues. They're always willing to sign on happy helpers for an hour or two a day, or a few days a week even! Plus... this counts as experience! Soup kitchens, church based after school care, tree planting, as long as your knee is up to being stood on for a bit, go for it! its all good experience honey!

Crazy fun things at home... Fingerpainting, drawing, macrame, make Mini Poi for your mates, stress balls, yoyo's, rubix cube, board games with your mum, letters to friends, ironing to loud music (when its ok by your mum), gentle walks and making cookies!

These things can stop you from going spare, and keep a smile on your face...

Dont forget, we love you Stay happy babygirl! Stay healthy too! xoxoxoxxo *SNUGZ*


Currently on the right side up of the world.

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Dentrassi
GOLD Member since Apr 2003

Dentrassi

ZORT!
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Total posts: 3044
Posted:i think everything that i would say has been already said by the wonderful souls above , so ill just give u some big hugs.



"Here kitty kitty...." - Schroedinger.

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firedancingfairy


enthusiast
Location: Australia

Total posts: 201
Posted:You are beautiful and people like you make the world an even better place.



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mech
BRONZE Member since Jun 2003

mech

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: "In your ear", United Kingdom

Total posts: 6207
Posted:
i cant say anything or do anythig for you darlin, im too far away to give you a hug, but god damit im gonna try!

i love you lady, as we all do, and i hope you find a job soon, have you tried BP (british Peroleum) petrol staions, they are a good employer i have been with them for over 3yrs, and loved working there till i found my new job!

Lady if you need me im just a call away, if you want me just shout and ill be there!


Step (el-nombrie)

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Eera
BRONZE Member since May 2003

old hand
Location: In a test pit, Mackay, Austral...

Total posts: 1107
Posted:Darkness never lasts forever.

In a couple of months you'll be laughing again, you wait and see. There's a break coming to you, and every day brings it one day closer.


There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.

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Gnor
BRONZE Member since Mar 2003

Gnor

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Perth, Australia

Total posts: 5814
Posted:

If you are ever in Perth I would love to give you a real hug, until then heres more virtuals to go with all the wonderful stuff that has been posted to you. When things get too bad I make myself clean house then it makes the sads go away cos I dislike cleaning even more.


Take care


Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

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Pink...?
BRONZE Member since Apr 2002

Pink...?

Mistress of Pink...Multicoloured
Location: Over There, United Kingdom

Total posts: 6140
Posted:Thank you so much

You have cheered me up and giving loads of ideas... you guys are the best.

today i went down to my local hospital and filled in an application form for volutary work.

I love you all

(thanks polythene - i know how much sacrafice it took you to place a pink graemlin at the bottom of your post)



Never pick up a duck in a dungeon...

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squarefish
SILVER Member since Sep 2002

(...trusty steed of the rodeo midget...)
Location: the state of flux, Ireland

Total posts: 403
Posted:good for you ,Pink.
After third year in college I had to take a year out and managed to get 8 months work in a maternity hospital, it was probably one of the most rewarding working periods in my life.

Chin up, shoulders back, eyes always forward!

martin


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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:Oh my Gawd! did it just slip everyone's notice because we love Alice so much, or am I wrong in my interpretation that Narr is advocating teddy bear abuse!!!



I'm calling the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Stuffed Animals (SPCSA)! And I'm going be sure to to hide mine safely away if Narr ever comes to visit - I suggest you all do the same!

Unless, of course, Narr was actually talking about lingere - in which case it sounds like some sort of bizzare fetish I may actually approve of... a woman crying while she is beating up that kind of teddy might actually be oddly erotic.



(just thought we could all use a little comic releif - sorry you were the butt of the joke Narr )


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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Narr


Narr

(*) (*) .. for the gnor ;)
Location: sitting on the step

Total posts: 2568
Posted:he he i was waiting for someone to pick up on that and to clear up any confusion yes the teddy is of stuffed animal variety! call who you will but he wont talk he'll never talk mwwaahahaha!!

she who sees from up high smiles

Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:you are just lucky teddy bears are so loyal, but that is why this sort of abuse has gone on for so long without it coming into the public light!

Support your local SPCSA!

Save the teddies!


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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vanize
SILVER Member since Aug 2001

vanize

Carpal \'Tunnel
Location: Austin, Texas, USA

Total posts: 3899
Posted:getting back on topic.

How are you sleeping, Alice?

I find that when I have not been sleeping well for a while (which is not at all uncommon), I am much more likely to get depressed (at least minor depression). Actually, I am not sure if it is the cause or the effect, but I do know that breaking the sleeplessness cycle can really help.

How do you do this? Serious excercise is my way. And on top of the sleeping benifit you get from that, excercise can also help your mental state in other ways - via endorphines and your self-perception/esteem.

Making sure you have a decent bed and pillows is also another step towards getting good sleep. Teddy bears can also help in this regard, and this is a much more acceptable use for them!

Seriously though Alice, I know your knee is injured, but there are all sort of non-impact excercises you can do that will help - push ups, crunches, leg lifts, etc.... Put aside just 10 or 15 minutes a day in the beginning (if you don't already) and just use your body. After only a week or two, if you stick to it, it will start to pay off, even if sleeping isn't a problem for you.


-v-

Wiederstand ist Zwecklos!

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NYC


NYC

NYC
Location: NYC, NY, USA

Total posts: 9232
Posted:Hey beautiful,

Sorry that I didn't post earlier but I didn't quite have the right words... and don't now either.

I guess it's important to realize that you're feeling all of the RIGHT things. You're 17 and bright and motivated. Of course you're supposed to be fed up with Moms and authority. Of course you're supposed to be confused about life.

This is a tough time and place to be. It's a tough transition into adulthood. I'm trying not to spew condiscending crap (and perhaps failing) but I know that my life went from it's lowest to the highest the year I left home...

You're in a tough spot. It's going to get better. I promise. All you can do now is try to make some small steps in the right direction and the rest will happen on it's own.

I'm sure once you've gained control of your life, the outlook will look much brighter.


Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]

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