Forums > Social Discussion > Flatmate Help....

AnonymousPLATINUM Member

Posted: 21st Jun 2004

Posted: 21st Jun 2004
oh hun!!!
I was worried about you cause I hadnt heard from you in ages...!!!
I had no idea that you had an accident and I will send you angels to help look after you... pm on its way hun...

TAJ "boat mummy." VALURA "yes sweetie you went on a boat, was daddy there with you?" TAJ "no, but monkey on boat" VALURA "well then sweetie, Daddy WAS there with you"

Posted: 21st Jun 2004

I guess it all depends on what she is doing... Are things not getting done around the house so she's getting narky, or is she just being loud and thoughtless while you try and sleep, or do you think she could be getting jealous about never seeing you anymore?

I'm just moving out of a house atm that has been getting me down for awhile. I live with two boys that have so much junk - one of the guys is planning to start a salvage concern from the house and brings home bits of cars, and tables with one leg, boxs of lights, a box of wigs, a roo-bar for a 4wd - all sorts of stuff - and i'm almost a prisoner in my own room because i do not wish to sit amongst others week old left over food and smelly socks... thats if i have room to sit, and our kitchen is unuseable the majority of the time because its buried in dishes and reeks Oh, and the noise factor of a student roommate, and an recently unemployed roomate who are both insomniacts when i have to work - I've given up!
I'm fed up with my friends not feeling comfortable in my house, and so not visiting, and saying that our house smells, and constantly telling me how sorry they feel for me

So you have my sympathies!

I smile because i have no idea whats going on!!

Posted: 21st Jun 2004
I can fully sympathise; in my final year my landlord moved two Greek first years into the house, we got on really well at first but then they got a computer which apparently only worked after midnight with 6 people shouting at it. I'd come home to find it was never just George and Kostas, but George and Kostas and all their mates who they then gave each a key to come in at any time. Throughout my first set of finals the only way I could get sleep was to switch the electricity off at the mains, something they never figured out and to this day they think there's electricity rationing.

In the end, the only way i could cope was to move out. If it's ruining your life you absolutely do not keep grinning through the pain and hoping for the best. If your flatmate is completely unapproachable and you're at your wits end, get out of there. Sod the deposit and do a runner if needs be, stick some shrimp in the curtain poles while you're at it. You'll find that you're in a position to negotiate a better deal with landlords this time of year as they're eager to fill vacant rooms.

I'm sorry if this sounds a bit negative, but things saying things like "sit down and have a talk and you'll get through it" often simply do not work.

There is a slight possibility that I am not actually right all of the time.

Posted: 24th Jun 2004

Written by:

---

I live with two boys that have so much junk - one of the guys is planning to start a salvage concern from the house and brings home bits of cars, and tables with one leg, boxs of lights, a box of wigs, a roo-bar for a 4wd

---

Your boys messy????? noooooo...... ok well maybe a little bit... but did you see the giant wok he found!!!! A GIANT WOK I TELL YOU!!
That guy needs a warehouse to store all the handy things he finds, does anyone have a warehouse they can lend out in Perth?????

Your housemates are absolute champs, but....... I'm a clean freak to so I could never share a house with them. If you were moving out next febuary, I could offer you a room in the riverside south perth apartment I'm currently renting. City and river views, awesome security, no road between apartment block and the river.... keep it in mind if your looking for a place to stay next year.

.

HOW TO FLY 101:
step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.

Posted: 25th Jun 2004
I totally know how you feel, living with someone who is making you life hell...

I was living with my ex (yes I do know how crazy that was) and when I started seeing someone else he went ape [censored]...even though he was seeing someone else I would come home and find letters strewn all over the house telling me what a tart (it wasn't that politely said mind you) I was. Along with many other charming things.

It got so bad that in the end I had to move out for both my mental safety and physical safety (I was seriously petrified he was going to hurt me). He really needed anger management classes cause he had no control at all over what he was doing.

Thankfully my parents realised my situation after I called my mother crying over one of the letters he had wrote.

My mother and father paid for the bond I am now staying in (which I might say I am paying them back in full) and I now live by myself without the hassle of having to answer to anyone, clean up after anyone and pay anyone elses way.

If you feel that you can't handle it talk to your friends and family as much as you can...you never know if they will be able to come up with a solution (like a spare room for you to stay in till you can get on your feet).

Posted: 25th Jun 2004
Jsut make it through your prac. Thats what you should be concentrating on right now. dont let this stuff it up. It sounds like the majority of your stress isnt coming from your flatemate, they are just the only factor you can change at the moment. Unless they arent letting you sleep at night. If thats the case you have to do something.

Josh

--
Help! My personality got stuck in this signature machine and I cant get it out!

Posted: 26th Jun 2004
i sugest lighting your friend on fire that almost always works

SLEEP WITH ANGELS muckieha

Posted: 27th Jun 2004
when I had pollems with my roomies doing stupid shite to piss me off I just did it back .try these very simple things.
1.every time she tries to talk just keep talking jibberrish over her.
ex. hey man i burglflikle habinubbunananananan
2.change all the presets on the stereo (especially in her car if you can) to stuff you know she hates.
thats only the tip of the burg.

There are no obstacles only challenges.
Very funny scotty now beam down my pants.
[colour."green"}What would willie do?

AHH theres too many wee leprechauns i cannae squash them all

Posted: 27th Jun 2004
Hey guys.... Thanks a tonne for your replies - anything helps!
Nothing has really been sorted with the flatmate yet - it all hit a climax point on sunday night when I was trying to get some sleep before prac the next day and my flatmate arrived home with three girls who now obviously have some sort of problem with me as a result of chatting with my flatmate, they sat out in my kitchen cooking food and crashing doors, giggling saying 'Oops, what a pity it's a prac day for Rach tomorrow...should we be quieter? [crash]' Then proceeded to bitch about me for two hours.
I stupidly didnt have the balls to go out and tell them off and instead sat in my room and let it continue, pretending to be asleep.
The next morning I missed my alarm and awoke late to my lift to prac banging on my door. Basically, this has made me develop an 'I dont care anymore' attitude to her - I need to spend the next few months looking after myself - something I havent done in a long while!
On the plus side though - I finished my last exam on thursday and my last day of prac on friday - I am now (fingers crossed!) finished my degree!! yay!
Thanks for all your advice and stories - it's really helping!
Rach

We all take different paths in life, but no matter which path we take, we take a little of each other everywhere...

Posted: 28th Jun 2004
Sounds seriously childish.

You poor thing.

Is it your name or hers on the lease? Can you book some time with her to have a serious chat? Cos unless you stop it now, it will go further down hill.

It was a day for screaming at inanimate objects.

What this calls for is a special mix of psychology and extreme violence...

Posted: 28th Jun 2004
yeah, sounds lik ethe two flat situations i had in first year... i was in student accomodation in first year then towards the end i moved into a shared flat with a mate from my course cos i couldnt stand frances anymore
and then her boyfriend moved in a week later
and bang goes my nice flat

if my telly was on anytime after ten BANG BANG BANG on the wall tho they'd sit and watch a film at 2 in ther morning volume up way loud and the speakers right next to the wall to my room when i was working the next day
i cam ein one day to my favourite bowl that had been a gift smashed i left for work on my bike and found two flat tyres there was never any hot water left (she would get up and hou eary use up all the hot water then go back to bed.)
i ended up never going back to the flat for days on end just staying over and random frinedflats.. cos i couldnt go back if i had to go back to get clothes or wahtever id try to go when she wasnt in and take someonde woith my just in case
it came to a head she attacked me i said i wanted to move out her MOTHER phoned me up and stated shouting abuse down the phone at me telling me i was a dirty whore and a slut and she was gonna phone my parent and tell them exactly what i was like... so my dad came up to try and have a chat with this girl and she stgarts shouting and swearing at me da. now in my house growin up we got a bollocking if we said crap in our house and she was swearing away quite the thing...
my dad moved me out the next day and i've been at home since october. I've found two lovely guys to live with next year, (i'm not gonna live with girls again until they go through a serious vetting process) and im now awaiting september with baited breath and hope i never see her again

so yeah my point... i feel your pain missy
get out of there you dont know how miserable you are until your happy again... you'll make yourself ill if you have to stay there...
find someone who can give you aroom temp till you find somewhere more permanent... seriously its not good for you...
s and warm fuzzies...


p.s. i saw her once since this all hapened my friends had al taken her side too. they were out at aclub i freuent when i got hrough to visit the new true friends i made since it all started. and she just as soon as she saw me went ape! i just left that room and went back downstairs the the bar and hid behind my biggest friend next thing i know i got a message from on of the friend

''just saw what happened that was totally out of order can see why you left now. lou n rich r shits, sorry for not beleiving you''

hehe so i go up to my friend terry the head bouncer of the club and tell him that that evil flatmate i'd told him about was over therea nd after my blood she came to the door looking for me he said i was outside she went looking for me he said 'im sorry but dont come back please your attitude and agro is not welcome here' yay for my rock club and new friends!

so it will work out in tghe end make the first step get out of there!

lett us know how your getting on...
Kit x

random murbles

BELTANE FIRE FESTIVAL. 30th april ~ Calton hill - Edinburgh
SAMHUINN FESTIVAL. 31st October ~ Royal Mile - Edinburgh

Posted: 28th Jun 2004
hi,

we have all had bad flat mates at some time, and i know that its the end of teh world at the time, my bad flat mate caused me to have a mental breakdown at xmas last yr, and im still dealing with that..

the best way i found to play with flatmates who are being this way is to be calm and relaxed infornt of them, even if you wanna smash their heads in

as soon as they start being argessive, loud or moodie, just say in a clam voice

"im not going to talk to you when you are like this"
or
"if your shouting then you dont wnat a grown up talk, coma and see me when you do"

this is how i delt with my flat mate from hell, it caused him to get more irate at me than he could deal with, its rather funny, you are just talking quietly and normally and they are throwing a full fit!

trust me, dont take it, you only have a lil time left there, and if worst comes to worst, go and stay with friends for a few days and then go back home!



laterdays

Step (el-nombrie)

Posted: 28th Jun 2004
In my first year of uni, I was in halls. There was a food thief/ thieves that specifically targeted me... to the point where i'd fill up my fridge box with food and come back to it the next morning to find the box empty. Completely empty. Not even wrappers. My other housemates (including 'chief resident') couldn't care less and told me not to be silly, until one of them had 2 pints of milk stolen, which triggered a house meeting...

I didn't really fit in there and they weren't fond of me anyway, but all of them were nice to my face and I never found out which of them were being two-faced, or who the thief was. I got left unpleasant notes a couple of times too.

I just spent most of my free time at a mate's, cooked from dry or tinned food that could be kept in my room and kept my milk on the outside window sill instead of in the fridge, because I didn't know who was nice and who was nasty, and didn't think if was worth the bother of finding out.

C'est la vie

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.

Posted: 28th Jun 2004
If they are stealing your food, buy 2 bottles of milk. pee in one of them.
Repeat with some/all foods, feel free to invent new possibly toxic/laxative/rank ingredients. Let them know that you have done this the next time food goes missing.

Posted: 28th Jun 2004
Oh, don't worry, I didn't take it completely lying down, take my word for it. besides, it was 3 years ago now. But thanks!

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.

Posted: 1st Jul 2004
A friend had a coworker stealing hers and other peoples lunches - So one day, one of the girls filled her sandwiches with lacsatives (how do you spell?) - It was very obvious who the culprit was that afternoon!

If you housemate wishes to play nasty.....

I smile because i have no idea whats going on!!

Posted: 1st Jul 2004
Actually just moved out of a house due to my flatmate driving me nuts! Was doing a similar routine to you, teaching practice, job, lesson plans etc....
Anyway, when I got home, I would always find little bits and pieces of mine had disappeared! Food, clothing, everything really! I was in halls with her the year before and similar stuff would happen, but she always blamed someone else. So I got fed up, and moved out. Our other housemate moved out too so now the little theif is stuck in a three bedroomed house with all the rent to pay!
Harsh but fair I feel.................(think she still has some of my stuff actually!!)
But don't let it get you down huney, things will turn out right in the end!
I am much happier now and am looking forward to my third year without her! xxx

If at first you don't succeed.......get someone else to do it for you!

shimmy! x