Blatant steal from another site..

thought these were quite funny. They were originally here.

"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning
and it
was amazing!" (Pat Glenn - weightlifting commentator)

"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him."
(New
Zealand rugby commentator)

"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
(Ted Walsh - horse racing commentator)

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
(Winston
Bennett)

"The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and
flair, but you also need white players to balance things up and give the team
some brains and common sense." (Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades,
speaking in 1991)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it
which is
identical." (Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator)

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother." (Greg
Norman)

"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing but none of them serious."
(Alan Minter)

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same
thing again."
(Terry Venables)

"I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the
Premiership, but there are none better." (Ron Atkinson)

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing
the cox of the Oxford crew." (Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge
boat race
1977)!

"Morcelli has four fastest 1,500 m times ever. And all those times
over
1,500 m." (David Coleman)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on
the
field." (Metro Radio)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air
for even longer." (David Acfield)

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will you stay in
football?" (Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live)

"And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs
and showing his class." (David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics)

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is
that,
before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.
.....
Oh my God! What have I just said?!!!" (US PGA Commentator)

True story... a female news anchor who, the day after it was
supposed to
have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked "So Bob,
where's
that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too as
they were laughing so hard!

My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.'
* David Beckham

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the
league.'
* Mark Viduka

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.'
* Mark Draper

'We lost because we didn't win.'
* Ronaldo

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out
of bed at the end of the day.'
* Neville Southall

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.'
* Ugo Ehiogu

'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.'
* Ronnie Whelan

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.'
* Stuart Pearce

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level.
Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best
manager I've ever had.'
* David Beckham

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7
of which were disputable.'
* Paul Gascoigne

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and
hopefully after that as well.'
* Alan Shearer

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll
win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.'
* Peter Shilton

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the
week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.'
* Stan Collymore

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.'
* Ian Wright

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though
I live in Middlesborough.'
* Jonathan Woodgate

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my
right.'
* Lee Hendrie

I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign
country.'
* Ian Rush

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my
right sock.'
* Barry Venison

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.'
* Mitchell Thomas

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.'
* Graeme Le Saux

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my
best.'
* Alan Shearer

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.'
* Johnny Giles

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in
football.'
* Les Ferdinand

' There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in
between.'
* Gary Lineker

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.'
Thierry Henry

ubblol

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