Forums > Social Discussion > Broken Hearts-rant away, I did.

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blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
I recently got my heart broken, I didn't realize it at the time, but it was the first time in my life that it happened to me.

I've felt pain and sadness before, along with that really empty feeling,and assumed that I had a broken heart, but oh no, this time it was real. I swear I actually heard it the moment it broke,and thinking back on it now, I still get pangs of pain in my chest. Actual physical pain.

I thought I had prepared myself for what was to happen, I thought I was ok, and when the moment came I delt with it gracefully, it was not til later when the reality hit, that I broke down. Although I'm not drowning in depression , and I'm very much ok, and I'm largely accepting it, I still have this underlying sadness that I'm not really aware of. One of my friends who I hadn't seen for a while told me recently that I have lost my sparkle, this is what disturbs me more. I harbour no ill will, and I would'nt really change a thing, but it's this underlying sadness,this hidden fear, this loss of sparkle thats making me slip back into it.

I'm not angry, or depressed, I just want my sparkle back.

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
Ugh, this thread would come back up now, when i'm utterly confused and sad and yet have no right to be......

Reminds me of my first serious relationship... which ended amicably enough, and we were best friends, and then one day he said:

-I don't want to be friends with you anymore
-I don't want to be close to you, you're not my type of person
-I only slept with you because I was desperate
-I never really cared about you

(Can't remember anymore, but that was enough to make me go out drinking with friends... to make the whole thing even weirder at the time I was just a couple weeks into a new relationship, and someone convinced the guy i was dating i cheated on him that night.... )

To make a happy ending, that second relationship turned out well, ended well, and we're still good friends.

Doesn't make me happy today tho :/

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
how you doin blu wink
Things will always get better...lifes a beach ubblol hug wink

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


Posted:
are we aloud to tell of our heat aches and pains on this tread?
confused

=Flashpoint=SILVER Member
Pasta of Muppets
2,722 posts
Location: in the interwebs..., United Kingdom


Posted:
Howdy blu... I've got some of my sparkle back, thanks wink

How about you?

ohmygodlaserbeamspewpewpew!
ubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmileubbrollsmile


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Queen of cheese- erm, heat aches belong in another thread, heart aches however have a home here. This is the place to get your sparkle back once its faded or been lost after matters of the heart dont go the way you would hope. Feel free to rant away here...HOPpers really tend to make it all better...in a multitude of ways wink,be it advice, a hug, understanding, or just to distract you a bit and help you realize that there are plenty more fish in the sea, and life is way too short to wallow at every little hurdle.



Kyrian: hug



Mynci: Doing much better now, thanks. A beach indeed ubblol



And Flashpoint: am starting to sparkle away once again wink glad you are too hug



It just goes to show,that when one door closes, another can be opened, and even if it just leads to another door,the unknown that lies beyond can be quite exciting.



Sparkles for all

ubbangel
EDITED_BY: blu_valley (1125663619)

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


Posted:
well... its not over a boy or anything like that, it's over my parents. (i know there is probably a thread for this somewhere but i can't find one).

my parents aren't letting me myself anymore, i have changed as a person over the last year quite dramatically and i don't want to wear the clothes that i used to, they are iving me no independence at all, (im 16 for goodness sake)
They banned me from watching two pints og larger and a packed of crisps, and the have stopped me from reading my fav mag. they even toke me out of sex ed when i was little, and now im having to find everything out the hard way.
i have to be my house for 7 at a night time and in bed by 10, but that time will b earlier when the winter is here, and i shall have to be in by 5

georgia-kBRONZE Member
Member
22 posts
Location: out to lunch, United Kingdom


Posted:
your parents really suck hug2 but here's my rant:

my boyfriend said he wanted to break up last week because i'm going away to uni soon and he thought it'd be easier to break up now than when i go in a few weeks, which we'd agreed to do anyway. so really i don't have any right to geel as gutted as i do, but i'd been expecting to have a few more weeks with him but now i've got to spend the last bit of my holiday on my own feeling sorry for myself. well not on my own, i've been going out getting drunk with mates most nights but its not the same.

and i'm wondering if we're not making a huge mistake. maybe we should try to make a long distance thing work? but he says he;s not ready for that and i suspect i'm not either. after all i'm moving to london so should have loads of fun shouldn't i. so i should probably stop moaning and get on with it rght?

at least i haven't got crazy bible-bashing(probably) parents.. at least they let you go on here ey queen of cheese?

screechcircling on the edge of madness
889 posts
Location: away with the faeries


Posted:
life certainly is a beach blu

i'd say you had quite alot of sparkle. biggrin

i know what a broken heart is like and thats why i try not to take life too seriously anymore its much better to float along having as much fun as possible beerchug hug kiss peace juggle weavesmiley ubbtickled

finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv


tumtummember
33 posts
Location: space


Posted:
hey Blu, glad youre feeling better babe hug

When I saw you the other day, you looked happier than you have done in a good few months. I can confirm your sparkle is back...see all you needed was a recharge! yay Blu is back!

Im hungry!!!


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
yay!!! we're all good. although need good friends to stop my paranoia ruining my life again. (cheers screech, I am a prat)

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


screechcircling on the edge of madness
889 posts
Location: away with the faeries


Posted:
no probs buddy

what are good friends for biggrin


i know you tell me when i'm doing likewise hug

finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv


offmyednewbie
1 post
Location: Devon


Posted:
You have no idea how comforting it was to read this thread and know that other people are going through similar situations as I am. Felt like I was the only one, and although there are plenty of people around me I've never felt so alone. Now planning to fill the void with learning poi, so things are looking up, was blown away with the displays at this years festivals this year so hopefully that will take my mind off things!

TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
I've come to the conclusion recently that the idea of "me" is better than the actual me.
Anyone else feel the same? confused

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
hug to offmyed,dont worry hun, it'll get better, I promise.



Distraction is a powerful tool. It may take you longer to deal with issues,but at least it allows you to wait until you are better equipped and calmer before you start to deal with them. Poi is an excellent choice.



What do you mean Tammie?
EDITED_BY: blu_valley (1126186378)

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
To begin with I'm a spontaneous girl. I'll do things without really thinking them through.
secondly, I tend to open up too much to people, and in my 23rd year I'm still not sure whether it's a bad thing or not.
And thirdly, people tend to run a mile when faced with the real me! I have shyness issues and find it hard to make eye contact with people at times - not because I'm not listening or interested in what they have to say, just i'm very self-conscious (besides, they might steal my soul ubblol)

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
Anyone know how to understand women?? Coz I know I'm gonna make mistakes thats what men do, but don't want to screw up too badly (talk about luvved up to the max) and no offense but people here have been treated badly, how do you treat a person well who is too shy to say if they don't appreciate something, coz women are beyond my understanding?? confused

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
I think everyone is beyond understanding. Most of all women.As we are strange and complicated creatures.Fact. If you want to know if someone appreciates something,ask them.Offer an alternative and ask which they prefer. Treat someone else the way you would want to be treated. This may not always be the best thing because of different taste, but it's a pretty good guideline.

We need to learn to accept that we will make mistakes and mistakes will be made against us.The only way to make as few mistakes as possible is to communicate better. Be brutally honest. (I should practice what I preach).Talk about what you are feeling and thinking,ask for the answers you wish to know.

And Tammie, you just described 80% of the world's 20-something population(me included). In your twenties youre still trying to figure out who you are, and what your place is in relation to who and what is around you.Many people I believe never figure this out, as we wear masks not only infront of other people, but infront of ourselves.The best you can do i guess is learn to enjoy the company you keep in the empty moments, when all else falls away...maybe then, someone else can too.

But then again, what do I know..I'm in my 20's too!

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


polytheneveteran
1,359 posts
Location: London/ Surrey


Posted:
Don't try to understand 'women'. Try to understand that particular woman smile

Communication is key, but it works both ways- its unfair of someone to expect another person to know/understand things if he/she won't tell them or talk about it. Unless you happen to be psychic smile

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.


screechcircling on the edge of madness
889 posts
Location: away with the faeries


Posted:
women are strange you start to understand bits of what they do and how they think then they throw you a curveball and you're back at square one i find the best thing to do is try not to understand them but just be reasuring and tend to their every need then accept the b*****king when you screw up

you get a lot less arguments like that

oh and try to be romantic not just at the start of a relationship but keep it up all the way through.

finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv


TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
romance? what's that? (no seriously, I aint had romance for a few years now!)
Yes I lead a pathetic life at times (and yes I'm kinda feeling sorry for myself right now...) frown

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
Am Tammie hug

I know how you feel, once again my heart is being played with, this time by someone who I thought was my friend. I've done nothing wrong but I'm left with a sad guilty feeling because now I'm the bad one.Argh...I'm so sick and tired of all this s**t!

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
funny that - someone's done exactly the same to me!

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


IcerSILVER Member
just a shadow of my former self...
205 posts
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand


Posted:
Post deleted by Icer

It took a while, but once their numbers dropped from 50 down to 8, the other dwarves started to suspect Hungry.


KyrianDreamer
4,308 posts
Location: York, England


Posted:
thanks for hug,..... yes, brutal honesty is the way to go, but, being careful how you say it helps too, i'm learning... the hard way, often, but someone's helping me learn right now and i couldn't be more thankful....

goodness I can relate tam, and its so weird, people who know me for years... can't imagine me being shy, but i was oh so shy in britain with everyone! I just felt overwhelmed and kind of alone, and I couldn't break out of that....

and yes, try to understand an individual woman.,.. if you wanted more specific advice, pm me, altho as i've been saying to several brits lately, I am american, and am much better at knowing what american girls think! (and american boys for that matter. never would have thought such subtle differences could be as big as they are, I do better with asian culture crossing than british/ american....)

Keep your dream alive
Dreamin is still how the strong survive

Shalom VeAhavah

New Hampshire has a point....


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
... confused vibes, even though I'm seeing someone amazing my hearts still breaking at the mo...FOR them (feel I'll be back soon)

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
You ok Mynci?

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
I'll be fine, (note first word of sig) just a bit worried.

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
prophecy fulfills. I am now broken hearted and single thanks to some harsh words on my part. I'm not very proud of how it ended but she was not happy and wouldn't speak to me even to split up. I managed to beak my own heart...meh. it's all overrated anyhoo

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


RuliathSILVER Member
Member
6 posts
Location: Sequim, Washington, USA


Posted:
The world is bright though it may look black,
and you will soon have your sparkle back,
looking through eyes that are not your own,
one may see the good that's sewn,
the vibes and energies that lay within,
surely will pair you with true love again,
for the heart encompasses power unheard,
and cannot be explained with just a word,
the feeling is more than anyone can explain,
for it's not damp forests with pattering rain...

Nor is it snowy hills laden with ice and snow,
by now I can guess that you do know,
regardless of what happens you will grow,
by morning light and the suns rays,
that we all depart for our separate ways,
it may feel like a year with just a few days,
trust yourself and let your love thrive,
you have the heart and inner drive,
harness these and you'll feel alive,
to live your life with very few regrets,
but the times you had you can't forget,
with these in mind you will be set.


<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

- Ruli

I find love to be the most powerful human emotion, and when people with great capacity to love and be loved come to harm by it, it can also be the most devastating emotion. Music helps more than I could ever say.

Lost83spyBRONZE Member
Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!
587 posts
Location: Somewhere, out there..., South Africa


Posted:
Definately a deep thread!

Reading this thread has brought back memories for me. I too, have had to deal with alot of pain in my life, pain that nearly killed me. This happened last year.

I started seeing an amazing guy whom I fell immediately in love with. My best friend had introduced me to him. I honestly believed that we were meant to be together and so I made sure I was the best gf I could be. My heart broke the day he told me he was leaving for England in two weeks & didnt love me anymore. The worst was when I found out that he had one night stands with some teenage girls a week before he left.

It was the hardest thing I have ever had to dealt with. I started drinking excessively to numb the pain & suicide was the only thing I thought of. I wont tell you what I did, but I nearly died. It was my best friend who pulled me out of the dark hole I was in. She stood by my side and was always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I was finally on the mend.

Unfortunately my heart was crushed again. My best friend committed suicide on the 10/11/2004. My world has never been the same since & the pain is still there. But she made me realise so many things, even through her death. She showed me that life is a gift, something to be treasured. Yes, we all go through bad times, some worse than others. But something I learnt is, God will not give us anything that we cannot handle.

I've had to learn to love life. Its been very hard and I'm still learning, but everytime I think of my friend it just seems easier.

Dont worry about the sparkle thing. It will come back in time. It took me 5 years to get mine back, and I couldnt be more happier.

Im always here if anyone needs to talk hug

It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others

Founder and Official leader of the Curby Clan

*Owner of Brenn*


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