Forums > Social Discussion > My mum and cancer

Hello everyone...

Oks, well, I've had some bad news and thought I would post on here for advice on alternative therapies.

I've had a look through the existing threads (nice search system Malcolm!!) but didn't find what I was looking for, so I hope this is ok.


So then...

Just over a month ago my mother turned yellow.
It was two days before my parents were due to go on holiday, and instead she ended up in hospital.

They discovered it was a blockage near her bile duct, and after sticking a camera down her throat, found out she had a tumour on her pancreas.

She was eventually sent home for a few weeks to recuperate, then brought back in for an operation last Friday.

We discovered then that the tumour on her pancreas is too big - 6 cms - to operate on, and parts of it have spread to nearby glands.

The prognosis isn't good. They've told her between 6 months and a year, but any reseach I've done shows people with pancreatic cancer lasting between 4 - 6 months.

Our family is coping well, considering, so far.

(Personally, I feel like I'm constantly going to cry.
I try not to think about her leaving us as much as possible. My mother is the strongest person in the world... She is kind and lovely and despite having pissed me off often, has done a splendid job and has had a splendid life (she's travelled all over the place - took a boat to Australia from Ireland 40 years ago to work as a nanny on a cattle ranch!! She came home, by boat, via NZ, Fiji and the Panama Canal - in a time when tourism wasn't Lonely Planet travel-by-numbers).

At the minute, I'm coping. I'm finding myself running about my parent's house 'doing stuff' for them while also trying to keep a performance business afloat. That's been a barrel of laughs in itself... anyone setting up a business in the arts - prepare yourself now for the bitchiness, competition, jealousy and lack of support.

My deepest apologies to m'lovely friends on here if I haven't responded to your PMs or calls recently - thanks BamBam and Fluff x).

Jesus... that was a bitter and twisted rant... humblest apologies for that...

Anyways... I have posted this for a reason

The doctors are still deciding whether mum should have chemo.
None of us are very happy with that idea... don't want her last few months to be spent throwing up.

She's got a very strong Christian faith, which keeps her bouncing through each day (lol, and she keeps emotionally blackmailing me to convert!!! Lol... I've told her it won't happen, but thanks anyway )

But I want info on alternative therapies... things that might reduce it, or just prolong her life for a bit. Does anyone here have any advice on where I could look?

I know not to accept intershnet advice as gospel, but it's good to get a guideline - or a point in the right direction.

Electro-magnetic therapy? Acupuncture? Organic foods and no tap water?!!

Does anyone here have any helpful hints?

Thanks so much for your time... and go home tonight and give your parents a hug... they could be gone much sooner than you think.

Love and hugs to you alll
Clare xx

Getting to the other side

Clare, you do realise how many smiles you spread in that one post, right?

Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.

 Written by: georgemc


[
You mean like a horrible smelly stumpy big toe?
Yeah, and I'm thick too - I finally worked out what you meant (before reading all these posts) in the shower this morning and like "doh"!
But I was still a little con-fuzzled as I thought the nori was seaweed so vegeterian??
And fyi sashimi is sliced raw fish (and yummy!). Yes, some sushi has raw fish in, some purely vegetarian etc. I personally haven't been game to eat the salmon roe sushi or the sea-urchin egg gunky sushi, but all the other types are generally yummy! (But always taste better in Japan)





I m dense in that" touch your nose" doesnt sense to me still...but I am sure yuu arent much like a manky big toe.

Thanks for clarification on the raw fish. I did a small course in parisitolgy that convinced me all meat need to be cooked thoroughly...

Seaweed is a vegetable..yep..agreed

Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

 Written by: Gnor


I m dense in that" touch your nose" doesnt sense to me still...


Did you read my wee story that went with that back on Page about 13(?) 21/04/07 ???
Basically I'm saying that "try" doesn't exist. You either "Do" or "Do not". Try means to fail/fall short of a target. And I was suggesting that one has the capability to "do" but often we "do not" (fall short) simply becuase we mentally/sub-consciously chose to fall short or rather chose not to put the effort in to "do". Sometimes we do this from tiredness, frustration, anger, depression etc and sometime we have no other excuse except that we convinced ourselves we could not and so we enacted that situation.
(oh, and sometimes we "do not" because of physical limitations such as load bearing capability, range of movement, technique training etc, and that's ok, but still you know those stories of mothers lifting a car off her baby etc etc which seem to defy this also...)

"Touch your nose" means realise you can "do" and so go and "do".
[end ]

Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.

 Written by: georgemc


 Written by: Gnor

George you are a leg end


You mean like a horrible smelly stumpy big toe?


ummmm ... suddenly realises that Gnor might have meant something else with that comment? something .... nice?? in fact?! ... doh! (told ya I was slow on the uptake)!

Please don't tell me it was Gnor - my street cred as a crusty old no-good "boss" type will be shot and, and ... well, i dunno, words fail me, but it won't be good!

And besides, I really am more like the manky big toe - a big toe with dirty cracked nails... and a veruca!...

Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.

Clare

"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

Nice one...

Ok... Tis not such great news as the last post, but because we're all still in good form, it doesn't seem quite so bad.

She received her second unit of blood today, but apparently, and for reasons I don't understand, it's led to fluid building up in her lungs. So she woke up this morning unable to breathe.

It was sorted out, but gave her a bit of a scare.

The nurse said this afternoon they didn't want to give the third unit of blood straight away in case the fluid build up should cause breathing problems and lead to heart failure.

It's all so matter-of-fact!

So, they're keeping her in again tonight, and hopefully she'll be out tomorrow morning. She's in a ward full of old people though, and I find that a bit unsettling... Mum's 66, but, well, she's not That old

She seems grand though.

Getting to the other side

GO Team Mum!!!

Hoppers are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

Lol... bizarre double posting...

Getting to the other side

Just read some of this thread, really amazing how so many of you have come together to actually be nice to each other on this one thing that affects somebody else!

Gran died of cancer over a year ago now but clares mum perking up has put a smile on my face. You guys are all awesome for the positive feeling going on in this thread. Good luck clare and clares mum.

Eagles may soar but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.

Telepath wanted, you know where to apply.

That's HoP for you...

Fire spinners are usually lovely people, which is good

Getting to the other side

 Written by: _Clare_




That's HoP for you...

Fire spinners are usually lovely people, which is good





if anyone else says that about me, im going to have to go balance it all out by kicking some small fluffie animals!

Step (el-nombrie)

 Written by: mech


 Written by: _Clare_




That's HoP for you...

Fire spinners are usually lovely people, which is good





if anyone else says that about me, im going to have to go balance it all out by kicking some small fluffie animals!





thats what the usually covers....

Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

Non-Https Image Link


look with this i get a two for one

i get to kick a fluffy rabbit, and a small child!

how good is that

Step (el-nombrie)

Is it the Truth?
Is it Fair to all concerned?
Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Im in a lonely battle with the world with a fish to match the chip on my shoulder. Gnu in Binnu in a cnu

Mech... you are so funny...

A bit like this:


Non-Https Image Link

Getting to the other side

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

 Written by: _Clare_




Mech... you are so funny...

A bit like this:


Non-Https Image Link




no clare, my pic was sweet and nice,

your rabbit is saying

"watch what happens when the easter egg eats you instead!.....MHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Step (el-nombrie)

Yep...

It reminded me of you... the ability to be sweet and lovely... but with hints of a mildly sinister side

Getting to the other side

 Written by: _Clare_


Yep...

It reminded me of you... the ability to be sweet and lovely... but with hints of a mildly sinister side







ok, so i get that, i get teh sweet and nice, with a hint of ill ghost you if you cant see both my hands

but when

WHEN

have you seen me using a small girl in a blue dress as a fashion accessory?

Step (el-nombrie)

Hahahahahhahahah....



Thanks... needed that



x

Getting to the other side

no no no i really want to know, i thought i was uber careful when i had that shot taken, where teh hell where you

Step (el-nombrie)

Hahahahahha... this is so wrong on so many levels...

Righto... am off to see some of this:

www.foolsfestival.com

(Best street performer festie in Ireland )

Getting to the other side

"but have you considered there is more to life than your eyelids?"

jointly owned by Fire_Spinning_Angel and Blu_Valley

ok

so i was looking over the site link clare posted, and was thinking, wow this is really cool... and then i cam across this....


Non-Https Image Link


what kind of nice festival, has to keep its children safe from having poo rubbed around their mouths?

Step (el-nombrie)

Yeah... not sure what a Child Safe wristband will achieve... but hey

Saw Mario last year at the festival too... he is awesome

But I'm late.. and missing stuff!

Btw... mum's still in hospital, they haven't given her the third blood yet... should be sometime this afternoon.


x

Getting to the other side

Written by: Doc Lightning talking about Marmite in Kichi's Intro thread

I have several large jars of the stuff. I actually like it... a little. And don't tell anyone I admitted to it.

Le sigh.

Righto...

So mum is doing very well since the transfusion... she's looking much more awake and upbeat... there's colour in her cheeks and she seems quite happy

There's more graphic details I could give you about her health... but yeuwww, you don't really want to know

We went on a family mission to the Mourne mountains yesterday - drove into the mountains and had some tea and biscuits by Spelga Dam. She was very happy I went too. Which was nice.

She's being really nice to me recently, telling me lots of lovely things, which she's never said to me before. It's all very good to hear and makes me happy...

But then I realise that she's telling me these things because a) she's dying and she wants me to know. B) she knows I'm a bit down at the minute and she's trying to cheer me up...

I suppose I should listen to what she says without over-examining it... but then, apparently I think too much at the best of times

Ok then, so since I'm feeling uncomfortable/guilty/mildly pathetic about using this thread as a personal rant... I'm going to break thoughts into points...

* Finding it hard to trust mum's current good health... kindof like being in limbo, with a looming dark cloud, waiting for the phonecall that says she's back in hospital. So, am enjoying it while it lasts, but it's uneasy... not peaceful.

* Still feeling down. Finding it hard to trust anybody or anything, as nothing can be relied on. Can't even rely on my own emotions... The only thing I know, for sure, is that I am on a rollercoaster that's going too fast.

* Am avoiding some people because I don't want to answer questions. Am contacting other's too much in some kindof bid to establish stability. Both situations make me feel guilty for not being stronger and letting people down.

* Am starting to get quite angry with people. It's a mix of frustration and paranoid insecurity, panic and exhaustion.

* Feeling guilty about the constant excuses for my behaviour. For not being stronger and wondering if my mind is actually falling apart. I spend time wondering how this will affect me in the future. Since I'm going through this alone, will I allow anyone to provide me with any kind of support in the future?

(With respect, please don't tell me that I'm strong, or that I don't have to apologise or feel guilty. I know many of you think that and the sentiment is appreciated. And I know occasionally, it's true.... but it makes me feel worse that for most of the time (nearly all the time), I don't believe that in myself)


Anyways... in other news...

I've also noticed that every single person I've spoken to recently is going through a difficult time. Relationships are splitting up, people are going through difficult times, people are feeling sad

I asked a friend who is into energy work about this... he said there is alot of very strong energy around at the minute... but not to look at it as negative... instead, it's changing. Which I suppose is true...

Take care
xx

Getting to the other side

"I used to want to change the world, now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity..." - Lotus Weinstock

Getting to the other side