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ben-ja-menGOLD Member
just lost .... evil init
2,474 posts
Location: Adelaide, Australia


Posted:
i thought that this was just totally ace and had to share it

1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.
2. No matter what YOU say, your ex-boyfriend IS a LOSER.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put makeup on us. It's just wrong............
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, 98 Degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.
16. Just cause you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong."
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while. We like to know that you love us.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, cause you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we would say". That's just mean.
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26............ Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. And always remember: The way to a guys heart is through his stomach..... and maybe....oh nevermind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it's just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends.
30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous and talented? Who are you NOT to be?


RovoGOLD Member
(the person actually known as Chris Bailey)
544 posts
Location: Austin, TX, USA


Posted:
I like the analogy. Its pretty true.

Peace, Love, Circles


LazyAngelGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,895 posts
Location: Cambridge UK


Posted:
oh and here's something else that should be read by all the blokes:


Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called - (Beer) - The drug is found in liquid form and available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers, men will often succumb to the desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking Beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as, "a relationship." In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as, "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females. Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this 'Beer' and the women administering it..... there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly affected like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

Because ActiveAngel sounds like a feminine deodorant

Like sex, I'm much more interesting in real life than online.

'Be the change you want to see in the world around you' - Ghandi


meghannenthusiast
302 posts
Location: good ol@ devon. cullompton to be precise


Posted:
Say what you mean.
Mean what you say.
Listen to each other.
Be devoted to being honest and communicating.
Find out what your partner wants and give that to them,
Tell your partner what you need and expect that from them.
If you love someone, then their feelings and desires should be as important as yours.

If you are dating someone who lies to you about how they are feeling or manipulates you by not saying what they mean then they are not showing you the most basic of respect.

This whole "Us vs. Them" "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" crap puts a great divide between men and women that is totally unnecessary. I respect that there are different societal influences on Men and Women. I repect that we are ALL different.

Women are from Earth, Men are from Earth.

...... i know this is a really old quote but it is true



I was talking to Cantus recently and said something like "Everybody looks cute when they're in your bed." For me, I'm so loyal to my partner that once I've kissed someone, they become the most important person. For me, it's necessary to step away and say "Wait a minute, is THIS the right person for me?"

.........as is this one




honesty is all about telling the truth. I do not beleive a single truely subjective truth actually exists in all of human experince


........and ive forgotten who wrote this but is your statement about there being no such thing as truth true?? if not why write it??


loo seat should go down, molicule theory true!

ive learned
life is tough... but im tougher


Konstilovable smart-ass
785 posts
Location: vineyards, Vienna, Austria


Posted:
Written by:

"Everybody looks cute when they're in your bed."




ubblol
great line
thats so bloody true
ubblol

"is optimism in austria just a lack of information?"
-Alfred Dorfer


meghannenthusiast
302 posts
Location: good ol@ devon. cullompton to be precise


Posted:
not according to beer!

ive learned
life is tough... but im tougher


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)enthusiast
456 posts
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA


Posted:
"A thing of beauty is a joy 'til sunrise."

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
Written by: LazyAngel


A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.





Thats a really good analogy...and goddammit it's making me think!!!!

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


CantusSILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom


Posted:
Written by: Ms Dragon

...and goddammit it's making me think!!!!




was that because you were trying to work out how many paragraphs it was meant to have Rougie?

or was that just me?

Meh


Rouge DragonBRONZE Member
Insert Champagne Here
13,215 posts
Location: without class distinction, Australia


Posted:
I was actually! ubblol

i would have changed ***** to phallus, and claire to petey Petey

Rougie: but that's what I'm doing here
Arnwyn: what letting me adjust myself in your room?..don't you dare quote that on HoP...


LazyAngelGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
2,895 posts
Location: Cambridge UK


Posted:
mwahahaha!!! you fall into my trap of poor punctuation and start *gasp* thinking!! mwahahaha!!
(actually it's because I cut and pasted from an e-mail and had to get rid of all the forwarding marks wink)

Because ActiveAngel sounds like a feminine deodorant

Like sex, I'm much more interesting in real life than online.

'Be the change you want to see in the world around you' - Ghandi


NYCNYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA


Posted:
Wow meghan... you totally confused me.

At first I was like "Wow, Meghan is the most brilliant person ever!" ... then I realized you were just quoting me without the quotes. wink

Don't confuse me like that!

biggrin

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]


Lillie Frognot a stranger
558 posts
Location: wales


Posted:
So if a bloke hangs around with a girl he automatically fancies her?

Is this true?
Is there no such thing as real platonic friendship between a man and a woman?

Is sex really that all consuming in the minds of men?

Tell me it's not true,

Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road


polytheneveteran
1,359 posts
Location: London/ Surrey


Posted:
I reckon you can count a male as a definite, genuine friend if you could honestly say you could offer him yourself on a plate and he wouldn't even be tempted.

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.


Lillie Frognot a stranger
558 posts
Location: wales


Posted:
Hmmmm

But that's just insulting...

See, whatIwant to know is;all the blokes who have been my friends, did they really fancy me, cos I fancied some of them, but they were 'friends'.

So why didn't they say?

And now it's to late.

Hmmpf.

Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road


NYCNYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA


Posted:
Whoa ladies, don't flatter yourselves too much. Not all guys who hang out with you want to sleep with you. eek

I've got lots of female friends that I have no attraction to. Actually, all but one. biggrin

I've always hung around women that I have no attraction for. I always had more female friends growing up too. I guess I'm pretty finicky when it comes to who I'm attracted to. And I'm far less finicky when it comes to who I'm friends with.

I mean look at you lot. wink

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]


polytheneveteran
1,359 posts
Location: London/ Surrey


Posted:
Lillie, I didn't necessarily mean guys that think you unnatractIVE, just ones that aren't attractED. See NYC's post... I sincerely doubt he'd call his female friends ugly.

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.


Lillie Frognot a stranger
558 posts
Location: wales


Posted:
Ah well, it's all achedemic now anyway.

I'm the legal property of someone, and I don't think he's thinking of getting shot of me.

No matter how horrible I am to him!
biggrin

Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)enthusiast
456 posts
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA


Posted:
Ewww. "Legal property"? Are the laws really that archaic in Wales?

(I know they aren't. "I am from a civilised land called Wales/Where men like you are kept in county gaols!")

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


Lillie Frognot a stranger
558 posts
Location: wales


Posted:
It's alright.
He's my legal property too. (and he better not forget it!)

And we both own the dog, and the dog owns us.....

Eat when you're hungry
Sleep where it's dry
No one is ever what they seem
Gabriel King - The Wild Road


NYCNYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA


Posted:
See... this is what happens when you legalize gay marrage. All of a sudden you dilute the sanctity of marriage and the next thing you know, you become the dog's property. wink

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]


polytheneveteran
1,359 posts
Location: London/ Surrey


Posted:
ubblol

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.


CantusSILVER Member
Tantamount to fatuity
15,966 posts
Location: Down the road, United Kingdom


Posted:
Written by: polythene


I reckon you can count a male as a definite, genuine friend if you could honestly say you could offer him yourself on a plate and he wouldn't even be tempted.






Mmmmm a bouncey plastic lizard wink on a plate.......ubblove

*slaps himself in an effort to shake such thoughts from his mind*

Meh


NYCNYC
9,232 posts
Location: NYC, NY, USA


Posted:
*Resists urge to post one of 3000 possible cheeky responses.*

Well, shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
[They do not move.]


minimaniacThe Ladiees Man
360 posts
Location: near swindon/ oxford


Posted:
women always moan that blokes get it easy and all we have to worry about is having to shave.

but then we also have the biggest problem of having to put up with women moaning about all there problems too!

I'm going to leave the army and run away to the circus

if not i will just become a MI5 agent !!!


flidBRONZE Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
3,136 posts
Location: Warwickshire, United Kingdom


Posted:
Written by:

1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.




Speak for yourself! ubblol

polytheneveteran
1,359 posts
Location: London/ Surrey


Posted:
Written by: Cantus


*slaps himself in an effort to shake such thoughts from his mind*




Yeah! Or you can't be my friend anymore nana ubblol

Flid- don't worry, anyone who'd film certain bits of mech could never be considered anything but. tongue

The optimist claims that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears this is true.

Always make time to play in the snow.


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
Written by: NYC


I've got lots of female friends that I have no attraction to. Actually, all but one. biggrin

I've always hung around women that I have no attraction for. I always had more female friends growing up too. I guess I'm pretty finicky when it comes to who I'm attracted to.




Funny...

This is what I used to tell myself before I came out.

Strange coincidence. wink shrug

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


Xopher (aka Mr. Clean)enthusiast
456 posts
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, USA


Posted:
Yes, isn't it. I never had a time "before I came out," really, but I've always had more female than male friends.

"If you didn't like something the first time, the cud won't be any good either." --Elsie the Cow, Ruminations


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
Incidentally,

I have a question:

Shouldn't your life partner be your best friend? I mean isn't that the ultimate relationship? A best friendship with benefits?

If you ask me this "I can't sleep with him...he's my best friend!" thing is a buncha bulldung. I wish I was attracted to my best friend. We basically agree on everything, we share similar interests and values, and we love each-other in a deep and intimate way.

He's just 40, bald, solidly built, and hairy and I just don't find him the least bit attractive. So best friends it is. shrug

If I was attracted to him, I'd have my life partner. I don't understand why the prohibition on dating friends. If you can be best friends with someone for years on end, it doesn't have to become a "relationship" because it already is! Just add sex and you're good to go!

Or am I way out in left field here?

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


Dr_MollyPooh-Bah
2,354 posts
Location: Away from home


Posted:
Written by: ...Lightning...


Written by: NYC


I've got lots of female friends that I have no attraction to. Actually, all but one. biggrin

I've always hung around women that I have no attraction for. I always had more female friends growing up too. I guess I'm pretty finicky when it comes to who I'm attracted to.




Funny...

This is what I used to tell myself before I came out.

Strange coincidence. wink shrug




umm
you have no cause to doubt NYC, I assure you ubblove

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