Forums > Social Chat > worst mistake ever?

Posted: 23rd Apr 2004
Awww! Methinks it's lurrrve! hehe... Well, on thb right side, you're not going to travel for the rest of your life right? I'm sure you'll get back to her!

~ Bobo

wie weit, wie weit noch?
fragst mich, wo wir gewesen sind...
du fehlst hier

Posted: 23rd Apr 2004
Mate, you have my sympathies!
But trust me on this one - don't go back, keep on your journey. If you decided that you wanted & needed to go travelling then that must have been an important choice to make as you worked towards it and spent a lot of time and money to make it happen.

If you abandon that to return home you'll always have that in your mind, and any argument, bad times you have with the person you go back to it'll be sitting in the back of your mind and there is the strong possibility it will manifest as resentment and negativity towards her. You may dismiss that now, but it's a very real possibility.

So, go onwards and keep in touch as best you can. The world is not such a big place these days and there's always a chance she can meet up with you along the way for a while.

When you return you could return to a great relationship. Or it might not work out, but you'll have had an amazing time travelling. Alternatively ou could go back now to an amazing relationship, or to one that'll fade out quickly. Love is fickle and love is strange and love is strong, but it does visit us regularly so if this doesn't work out then so be it, move on.

It's only been a week, and that's one of the most unstable times in travelling because your mind is confused because it's comfortable and stable world has been altered. Do not make any rash decisions in this time - you have to live your new life for at least a month before you'll be aclimatised to your new way of living. The same thing will happen in about 3/4 months as well.

Focus on your experience of the now. Our mind easily wanders to the future or the past and the securities of what we know. This is because the mind is fearful of the changing, unknown now. Enjoy and experience the where you are now - on a journey so very, very few people are able to take - and you'll see that abandoning your long held dreams is unthinkable.

Posted: 24th Apr 2004
Ditto what Dom said.

If it truly is the real thing, then it will work out when you get back. plus, travel is a great way to broaden your mind, become a more interesting person and increase your chances of being in a long term relationship.

I broke up with the love of my life for a number of reasons and thought it was the end of the world too, but 7 years later we got back together and are now happily married with a 10 month old son.

If it's not meant to be, going back now won't change the outcome, and if it is meant to be, NOTHING can change the outcome.

Have fun, travel, grow wiser and learn about people and places.

HoP Posting Guidelines
* Is it the Truth?
* Is it Fair to all concerned?
* Will it build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
* Will it be Beneficial to all concerned?

Posted: 24th Apr 2004
Ok, I feel for you. i went travelling round the world with a friend of mine and she was in exactly the same position, a few weeks in she missed him like crazy and would gone home but didn't because she didnt want to leave me (even though I said it was ok). She got used to it and we had an amazing 6 months, they spoke or email everyday and the distance helped them to sort out some major stuff in their relationship without argueing. We got back 6 weeks ago, they're totally happy back toghether and appreciate each other so much more. if you can be away for that long and not give into temptation u must have something pretty special. Good Luck. It is possible!
One word of advice, ENJOY yourself, dont left the fact u miss her make you miserable, think that everyday not only are you having an amazing time but u r getting closer to seeing her again. Meet peple, make friends, see things and go back with fresh eyes.

Posted: 24th Apr 2004
One more point:

If she's truly The One...

She'll wait for you.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura

Posted: 24th Apr 2004
What an amazing opportunity!!

Take it as a chance to be ok with yourself and your life without a "companion" physically there. Everyone falls in the trap of co-dependence at one time or another. As unromantic as it sounds it promise it will take the love to a whole new level.

I've been trying to learn this for nearly two years now and havent "got there yet", but the unique situation you are in is perfect to learn such a valuable life skill.

Good luck to you and enjoy your travels.

HOW TO FLY 101:
step 1. Throw your self at the ground.
step 2. Miss.

Posted: 24th Apr 2004
Oh gosh yes, I just wanted to back up what everybody has been saying. I myself am on a world trip right now and left someone behind too and it hurt like hell for - well, I won't lie to you, about a month really- but you will get more into your trip and realise that travelling is a life-changing experience that nothing can replace

As Burning Byron said, it is the best time to learn to know and love yourself 100% which is what I think I have almost achieved on my trip (I have been away 3 months now, another 3 to go -- where does the time go?!) and you can still have feelings for this girl and miss her but it will become less painful and you will gain so much from living just for youself and doing what only YOU want while you are away seeing these incredible distant lands.
Live every moment to the full my friend and never look back!
I have one more piece of advice which I will pm you now...

Are you going to do the Inca Trail? You totally must.. and if you are in Cusco - do avoid the rum from the dodgy Irish Pub on the corner of the Plaza de Armes!!

animals who are not penguins can only wish they were