Forums > Social Chat > Getting married! Good idea or bad idea?

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LMSPBRONZE Member
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
Is getting wed a wonderful show of affection or just a waste of time?

plaese, your thoughts........

UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
*finally puts two and two together and gets the same answer as the calculator got*

MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
really UcoF whats that....PM's on a postcard to.....

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
"boobies" upside down was it? ubblol

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


UCOFSILVER Member
15,417 posts
Location: South Wales


Posted:
no.. It said "Hedgehog"

smile

blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
If you find the right person,I believe that marriage can be a beautifulthing. One of the ultimate commitments to make to a person.Its often gotten wrong and thats why we see a lot of the ugliness we see today. But when its gotten right, it can be one of lifes most beautifulthings. Ive just spent a few days with a couple who's undying love for each other restores my faith in humanity and makes me sometimes ponder that which i deny or take for granted.(Theyve been together forever)

Hope your doing ok lilmiss hug

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


screechcircling on the edge of madness
889 posts
Location: away with the faeries


Posted:
it does happen blu but is marriage really necessary to declare your undying love for the person you're with.

can't you be just as happy living together forever without getting married

finland finland finland
the country where i want to be
pony trekking or camping
or just watching tv


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
And save the cash for something you can both enjoy.

Marriages are soooo expensive why have them at the start / middle of a relationship? I know the legal argument but still.

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


Helz BellzSILVER Member
lovin' it...
2,444 posts
Location: Bristol!, United Kingdom


Posted:
Marriage totally depends on the people involved.

I've been lucky enough to see two of my best mates get hitched this summer - and to see two couples so in love and excited and happy and totally ready for this commitment - well it bought a tear to my eye. For them, true love really does exist.

I, on the other hand, am not so sure about the whole wedding thing.

LilMissSmartyPants: hug I've not posted here before, but I've been lurking. It sounds like you've totally made the right decision. Hope that you're doing ok, and don’t let the b*stard grind you down. You deserve a million times better!!

grouphug

Live well, love much, laugh often...

Official O.B.E.S.E. cheerleader


LMSPBRONZE Member
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
awww thank you so much hunny hug

ZeeBooBRONZE Member
member
167 posts
Location: Melbourne, Australia


Posted:
Written by: screech


it does happen blu but is marriage really necessary to declare your undying love for the person you're with.

can't you be just as happy living together forever without getting married




But that is marriage, some people like to make it more official than others, some people get married in church some in the registry office, some in a hand joining ceremony and some in a joint decision to be with that person for the rest of their lives.

They are all equal forms of commitment hopefully made in the heart ubblove and should be respect as such.
Lots have been said on this thread about marriage eg
Written by:


marriage is just a piece of paper and a band of gold


which I disagree with strongly and find that it's ideas like this that undermines one of society's oldest traditions which should be respected.
And if you treat it with the respect it deserves mistakes shouldn't happen.

On a side note I have friends who have lived together for 20 years and even their families now (took them a while) respect there decision to live their lives how they want to.

& for those out there who think they will never get married I always thought that and so did my wife biggrin and just remember to do it your own special way not the way the media or your family tell you to do it.
It is something truly special.

Om shanti.... rant over... for now!


hug LMSP hug

Just because I'm an adult doesn't make me responsible.


Leyshnewbie
3 posts

Posted:
As Lilmiss has taken my boy from me i would like to put this message up to tell u a bit about her.

Here goes

The reson why i get upset with her is because

1. I came home one day and found the boy running riots when there was dog urine on the floor and she was on the net.

2. I came home one day and found that the boy haddent been changed and he was drawring all over him self with a permanet marker pen while she was doing her makup and on the web.

3 I broke Her engagment ring coz i found out that she was having txt sex with her x txt i know but is the prinsable.

4 The other one was when she left me.

5 The 3rd one was whe she lied to me and i dont like liers

6 I would have never physically attacked her as i am dead against treating women it that manner i would have killed my self before that happend.

7 I love lilmiss and my boy more than anything in the universe and i would have not hurt them in anyway I think i have valid resons to get upset with her dont u expecially when there is a child involved and health risks.

Doing this is probably the worst thing i can do but as i said she took my boy.

animatEdBRONZE Member
1 + 1 = 3
3,540 posts
Location: Bristol UK


Posted:
Written by: Leysh


Doing this is probably the worst thing i can do but as i said she took my boy.




You hit the nail on the head there!!

To be quite frank, I (and I'm sure many others) don't want to be involved in any 'feuds' (for want of a better word) between the two of you.

This sort of thing is just gonna turn into a slanging match with each of you trying to get one better on the other. That's not a good thing for a child to go through. I know because it happened to me when my parents split up when I was 2 years old, and had each of my parents telling me the other was Crap and useless (again, for want of better, stronger words). I ended up feeling unwanted by both of them. Believe me, you don't want this happening to your kid. (not that I'm saying it's a definate outcome, just speaking from my own experience). There's nothing a child wants to hear less than someone badmouthing their parents. especially when it's their parents that are doing the badmouthing.

You need to talk about things, and not bring your child into your arguements, or use him as a tool against each other. You may think he doesn't understand what's going on, but believe me, children pick up on more than you realise. The main thing is to let your child know that he is loved by both parents. If it is a definate break-up (I don't know details) you need to both accept this and move on. arguing isn't gonna do your son any good, and, IMO, he's the most important one in this relationship.

Hope it all works out.

smile

Sorry if I seem interfering or accusing here. I'm not accusing anyone, I just don't want another child ending up like me if I can help it.

Empty your mind. Be formless, Shapeless, like Water.
Put Water into a cup, it becomes the cup, put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Water can flow, or it can Crash.
Be Water My Friend.


Leyshnewbie
3 posts

Posted:
Thanx dude but she wont talk to me so i cant sort things out im not saying shes a bad mother or person but she cant run from her problems she wont even let me talk to the boy.

Thats all i want to do is sort this out.

TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
Posting that really isn't going to solve anything is it?
You're upsetting a few people on here, including me.
And before she took the little one, were you not getting my mum to look after him? or were you drowning your sorrows during the day while he was in your care?
She's left you - deal with it, but not here!

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


_Aime_SILVER Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
4,172 posts
Location: Hastings, United Kingdom


Posted:
The internet
The worst place to solve family/relationship issues.

Like Tink said. Deal with it, but not here.

MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
Marriage is a moot point for me.

I'm not allowed.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


MynciBRONZE Member
Macaque of all trades
8,738 posts
Location: wombling free..., United Kingdom


Posted:
hug 's doc awww dude....why do ypu want to get married doc?

Have you found Mr right ?

A couple of balls short of a full cascade... or maybe a few cards short of a deck... we'll see how this all fans out.


MikeGinnyGOLD Member
HOP Mad Doctor
13,925 posts
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA


Posted:
No, but I'd like to.

-Mike

Certified Mad Doctor and HoP High Priest of Nutella



A buckuht n a hooze! -Valura


linden rathenGOLD Member
Carpal \'Tunnel
6,942 posts
Location: London, UK


Posted:
hug doc

ill marry you wink

but youll have to share as im wife number two to pete as well ubbangel

back


Narr(*) (*) .. for the gnor ;)
2,568 posts
Location: sitting on the step


Posted:
i watched my bestest childhood friend get married this year, and it completely changed my veiw on marriage i was alway kinda on the fence like alot of people saying its 'just a piece of paper' ' if it aint broke dont try to fix it'. but i realised it a beautiful ceremony to be enjoyed and shared with the people you hold dearest. i had never see my best mate smile soo much (and yes i cried like the big girl i am) and i felt bless to have been there to witness it.
but i do think still that weddings do get out of hand, you know havign to have the biggest and the best etc etc which completely overshadows what the day is all about.

smartypants - i feel you have done the right thing getting out of that relationship, it sounds like things havent been right for a wee while. i dont want to sound preachie or anything but i would say maybe you need to go to a councellor just to get everything off your chest. i have had depression myself and i found it helped a great deal, also stand back and look at the way you live your life, i found changing small things like what i ate, how much i slept adn how much exercise i did lifted me also. i recommend you do this not only for yourself but your son too. i wish you all the best. :hugs:

she who sees from up high smiles

Patrick badger king: *they better hope there's never a jihad on stupidity*


LMSPBRONZE Member
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
I AM NOW TRULY AND TOTALY HAPPYubbrollsmile

blu_valleySILVER Member
fluffy mess
197 posts
Location: Brighton, United Kingdom


Posted:
biggrin hug Yay to the lilmiss!!!!

"I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer


daizeSILVER Member
member
175 posts
Location: Falmouth, Cornwall, England (UK)


Posted:


Frankly, marriage isn't a topic to be considered lightly!



If things are really going bad then divorce is inevitable, as there's something far worse than divorce! Parents "staying together for their kids". I'm proof of that. frown Practically feuding divorced couple, living in the same house together.



I'd say if you really love him, then waiting is not going to hurt. You may think you're sure now, but wait maybe even just 5 years, and it could all change.



But whether a marriage will or won't work is really down to each individual, and your character traits. A relationship can be doomed from the start, whether you hope to marry or not.



You will know whether you are one of those dedicated to stick through hard times, will always make an effort to transform a bad situation to good, will accept change in the other, not have stubborn expectations, be understanding...and so on. Then you're chances of things working out are increased.



This may sound cliché or simple, but the best way to keep a relationship good, is honesty!! Tell you other half no matter how insignificant or significant... even if it may hurt your partner, it's always better in the long term. Also, always try to be emotionally mature, and reasonable.



Haha, sorry for all that agony aunt advice redface Hope that made sense.



Ah crap, tongue should have read all the posts before commenting...

Question: Getting married! Good idea or bad idea?

Answer: Definitely a bad idea! In this situation.



My opinion is to: spend some time getting to truly know yourself and mature, working to make both yours and your child's life happy and secure.



shrugs, hope that helps...


TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
Daize - running off to the south coast of england with another hopper to start a new life is what you can do to make things better smile

Good on ya sis! (Mynci is the only one of your boyfriends that I've actually liked. Plus I knew him first lol)

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


daizeSILVER Member
member
175 posts
Location: Falmouth, Cornwall, England (UK)


Posted:
Has she found herself a new man then?
smile

TinklePantsGOLD Member
Clique Infiltrator, Cunning Linguist and Master Debator
4,219 posts
Location: Edinburgh burgh burrrrrr, United Kingdom


Posted:
yeah - mynci!

Always use "so's your face" and "only on Tuesdays" in as many conversations possible


LMSPBRONZE Member
veteran
1,588 posts
Location: United Kingdom


Posted:
I am a monkey lover.........Ooooh yeah! ubblol

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