I think I'm loosing my boyfriend...

Um, whew, where to start.

Never be ashamed of who you are, as you will always be you, so learn to enjoy it.

Also - I think I decided to stop imbibing alcohol earlier than some people, because I drank when I was younger, and I realized it was silly. I mean I'll have a drink now and then if it's required socially (eg someone giving a toast, I would feel obliged). I'm not a drunk anymore though.

I used to be a drunk, though I was never an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. (ba dum chhh)

I have a somewhat on-topic question... How do you ditch someone who has these "feelings" for you? I've never been much for dating, mostly I just have a few friends with benefits... (probably alot easier because guys are just.... like that)

Ok, I mean I've though about dating, I've just never met anyone I wanted to until it was too late. Now though I've got one of these "friends w/ benefits" calling me and emailing me and blah blah blah. I've told them I just want to be friends, nothing more, but they keep on.... being pushy about hanging out every minute that I'm not busy.

"Also, not that it's an extremely bad thing, its not bad at all,(at least, it doesn't bother me at all, I'm just curious.)But, Why do adults call younger people "sweetheart" "hun" "doll" ect. ect.? Pure curiosity. Is it something that just happens as you grow older? Will I end up doing that too? Okay, I'm done"

The drinking thing can be extremely bad, depending on the severity of the issue...

On the other, no idea.

meshunderlay... the answer to that question is to choose VERY carefully before you go into a "friends with benefits" situation (its probably best to steer clear of such adventures altogether, but I'm not one to judge there...) Though that doesn't help you much now... If you don't think you can be friends with them anymore, then you might just have to cut off communication for a while... short of being a knob theres not much you can do to crush someones feelings for you... and theres nothing you can do without hurting them.

And sorry if this seems a rude question but.. are you gay? "(probably alot easier because guys are just.... like that)" Seems to imply you are... and I guess it might change the way it works a tiny bit, given that in order to move on its usually much easier if you see a good chance that there'll be someone as good or better out there. (Much less likely if part of a minority... then again, its not like there are many decent guys for women out there anymore, either.)

And FireTom... its a family friendly forum, shorty.

Erm, well, yes, I guess I am. You don't hate me now do you?
*hides*

heh

It's just weird, ya see, last time I "liked" someone they said they weren't interested and I moved on, unlike this where someone said they like me and I'm not interested and they haven't moved on. *shrug*

And yes, I agree, now that I can look back, that the whole friends with benefits thing can become a bit awkward.

ooh! ooh! I have a theory for this!

In English we lack pronouns that we can use with strangers, particularly ones to indicate respect. Other languages have words for this Señor/a/ita, Domnule/doamna/domnisoara (to only list ones I speak, but there's more out there).

However in English, we only have Sir and Madam (M'am) which generally only applies to someone older than yourself (in a general sense); we don't have anything for older people to call younger people.

It's therefore my theory that older people call young people names like that in the absence of a respectful pronoun to call them. Personally, I use "mate" with most age ranges (and more likely with men) and only use "sir/m'am" to old people or wanker customers at work

"sweetie/love/hun/etc" used to annoy me until I realised that it's really just a mark of respect (because think of how much "miss" sounds like you're in trouble!)

Okay.. lots to reply to...

"How do you ditch someone who has these "feelings" for you?" Well... Let the off easy, explain to them you don't like them like that. It helps more if you were never actually dating them, too.

Also, the "friends with benefits" thing just sounds wrong to me, maybe just because I'm a kid but still, I would never personally have a friend with benefits -shivers-

Also, I personally don't hate you because your gay. (I don't hate you at all but that's not the point) Gay people are some of the coolest people out there!

Also that's a good theory... I like that theory. We'll go with that one!

I'll reply to you in a PM, meshunderlay, to keep it PG.

Rogue: Interesting lack of something in English there. Never thought about it like that....

Rogue: Very intriguing theory! I love it. I've actually been doing that a lot lately (I go through spurts of doing it then not). Time to invent a word!!

WiccanChica: Wow, I'm actually extremely happy you posted this. And all of the advice you received was awesome! See, I actually broke up with my boyfriend about a month and a half ago. It was my longest relationship (a whole year) and it was really tough to do. But, like you, I remained friends. Be happy that you're young. I'm 20 and my grandmother acted like me and my boyfriend breaking up was my last chance at ever having a husband or something. Not fun. I had to realize - through a lot of good friend talk - that even I'm still young and I'll find someone out there for me. I think it's important to remember that it's okay to miss him sometimes, ya know? Just try to channel it into something productive and positive.

And alcohol, oh alcohol. I'm a big believer in "everything in moderation." So, I only get drunk sometimes and reap the consequences in the morning. But, I can believe that it may seem that all adults get drunk all the time. I think people use it as a distraction and to forget issues or forget that they remember the issues.

And friends with benefits - you're still really young. I don't recommend it for a long time to come.

meshunderlay: I definetly don't hate you because your gay. To me - do what makes you happy. Anyways, I think maybe analyzing why you don't want a relationship right now will be key into explaining to this person why you don't want to date them right now. I would recommend cutting them off from benefits because they may feel that you were leading them on. Um... and make sure that you are comfortable with having friends with benefits. It may create some in-your-head drama - battling with yourself. And it may not.

Anyways, sorry about the rambling. Thanks WiccanChica!

Ginger:
Yea, I agree, I'm rethinking the whole situation actually.

I mean personally I enjoy um.... "benefits", but it really does seem to complicate things.

Also, on the note of analyzing why I don't want a relationship, I came up with, my mind is still set on this one person I have no chance with, but my thoughts are on them sometimes, I guess making it harder to think of others like that. heh.

I have to get over my crushes I guess before I can really commit myself.


Oh also, getting drunk.... If you drink one glass of water for every drink you have (or something like this) you have a better chance to not be hungover, that and I've heard that chewable vitamins help also.

Personally I'm sticking with juggling, music, and poi as my drug of choice! (Yes, alcohol is a drug, so is caffeine.)

On a side side note, I don't mind the rambling at all, as I have a tendancy to do the same thing.

=)

Absolutely disagreed and I'd appreciate if you wouldn't put caffeine and alcohol on the same level - especially when dealing with minors. Also the water, vitamin and other thingies don't really improve drug abuse.

It's what it is and the more you play it down the more concerned you should be about it.

Whilst the dose makes the poison in the first place, every body is different - so what is medicine for me, would push another to her/ his limits. Which is why I wouldn't want to take the responsibility.

This is no rambling, don't get me wrong. But right now I'm facing quite a crowd in Goa, who is ever and all-too ready to play down their habits - especially when sitting next to someone who happily declines. Funny that they have this reaction towards me

WiccanChicca: not all adults do get drunk or use drugs. Many have "weak spots" - but far not "all". Personally I do have met happy and content adults who never touched anything in their lives and have no urge to do so and do not feel as if they missed anything. You don't have to be messed up to be 'interesting'

I got to get my things rolling now and go picking up my GF from the airport - we haven't seen in 4 months (after having been together for only 2 months) - so this will be very interesting

Caffeine is still a drug that can have some nasty side effects for those who are addicted.

My ex girlfriend was a caffeine addict and would be VERY, VERY cranky and unreasonable if she didn't get it. I'm not making any comment on the comparison of caffeine and alcohol... but the intake of any drug, even caffeine needs to be controlled... I don't take a dose of ANYTHING, alcohol, caffeine, whatever without considering the reasons I'm wanting it or the amounts its taken in.

Oh, FireTom, I meant only that if you are going to drink alcohol, drinking water or taking vitamins may help curb hangovers, of course that may only work for my friend.

I don't... I don't know how to say this without sounding.... something, but, I mean, ok, hold on let me try this again...

Personally, I think a certain drug, which I won't name at this time, is safer health-wise than alcohol, and I therefore have no problem with people using it.

I by no means condone drug abuse, in any form, including alcoholism, caffeine addiction, or even smoking cigarettes (though for some reason I love the smell of a cigarette, cigar or pipe *shrug* - I don't smoke btw).

Of course everyone is different, in both tolerances to drugs, and opinions on drugs. I respect your views, I just thought I should clarify mine.

On a side note, since I stopped drinking caffeine, I've felt alot better *shrug* could just be coincidence though, I did happen to change my diet and start excercising more at around the same time... lol. Also, somehow, I'm still up for 20 hours a day with no energy drinks or caffinated beverages, I'm just teaming with energy, and I don't know why.

I'm falling asleep over my assignment: CAFFEINE!

Uni is horrible and I can't handle it: ALCOHOL!

Reasons assessed

Lol. How about "carefully" considering the reasons or amounts?

Oh, on a side note, if you're falling asleep and you don't want to, get up and do something strenuous for a few minutes to get your blood pumping.

That usually keeps me awake... Only time that doesn't work is when I'm driving. When I fall asleep then, I just hope cruise control and steer the car too....

Just kidding, that only happened once.... I was a cab driver, what? Considering I drove about 3000 hours a year, I think falling asleep only once is pretty good.

Am I now awake enough to keep studying?
Yes: amount correct.
No: Drink more coffee.

Have I forgotten the horrible uni stress?
Yes: amount correct.
No: Drink more beer.

It's just a matter of troubleshooting

Speaking of which, I only have one beer left! *cries*

Wow. Well... Since Tom mentioned minors, which would be me, I have to make my opinion known

I, personally, can't stand alcohol or any drugs at all. I try not to even be around it if I can. I don't even like taking vitamins or other things that are supposed to help me, it just bothers me. Also, I don't think I even like anything with caffeine... I know pop has it but I can't stand that, and, though I love the smell, I can't stand coffee either... So I don't think I really eat anything that's harmful to me except chocolate... and ensure but that's different





I like that It made me laugh.

Also, Ginger, your welcome ^,...,^ Thank you too

'ts good that you dislike drugs of all kinds... gives you a head on start...

Yeah I guess. I don't know, I've been around too many people who do drugs (every so often my parents will take me to a party with drugs and alcohol.. I usually walk off) and I don't like how it makes them act... It doesn't sound pleasant to take either >.< -shrugs- just never really wanted to do anything like that.
Hope that does something for myself.