I think I'm loosing my boyfriend...

and that's exactly been *one* reason why I lost my girlfriend (my daughters mom)... 4yrs later I cut it off and another girl was saying: Noooooooo. Moral is that you need to do what you feel is right for you - even if it turns out to be a mistake...

Fact of the matter is that we're all far from perfect. Some closer, some farther. I love those who love their partners just a little more, just *because* of their flaws, nicks and dents in personality... who would want to live with a saint? Except for a disciple?

But again I start sounding as if I'd "know it all..." pls. Disclaimer: I can only state my own experience, which might only be applicable to my very own life. If it resonates in you, fine - if it doesn't, just leave these bits behind. Ultimately we're bound to live our own lives and make our own experiences.

I agree there, Tom, I was just pointing out that some mistakes matter and some do not. The ones that matter tend to be the ones that have an effect on the way the other person lives THEIR life, not just on yours as it is associated with them.

Like my absorption did have negative effects in that she felt that she could not be sure when I was listening to her, so I missed stuff that I should not have missed.

and there she is trying to catch your attention, instead of simply accepting that you're "zoned" --> just leaving you alone for the time being

Who made the mistake now?

Darnit! Before I forgot to hit send and I never sent my reply! -sniffle- Okay, anywho.

I think that the little imperfections are wonderful. And Mistakes are mistakes, weather we mean them or not, conscious or not.
I guess to me I've never really minded anything that anyone else has done so I don't really pay attention to what should be mistakes. Of course, bigger, mistakes I notice (like the really loud guy who sits behind me spreading rumors for the fun of it) But I try to ignore that.

What I've said probably goes against something I've said before but I contradict myself a lot. So.. oh well.

Hmm - making conscious mistakes.... then at least they got to be funny (haha) ones

Your attitude of ignoring something instead of getting bothered by it is a nice one... wish I could do that more often - and contradicting yourself? That's your pristine right as a WO-man... okay, maybe not yet young lady, but there is nothing speaking against getting some practice on the way

Yup making conscious mistakes. I've done that before! but it was unintentional.

And YAY! I get to contradict myself! Do I get cookies for that too? -gasps- No.. I want ensure instead! (hahaha the only girl in the world who could hurt herself with ensure XD)

i've just read this whole thread . It made me feel quite sad , although there is some great advice . Bansheecat seems wise , and buddism as a way of live is great (i know ). I will probably read this all again when i am sober , and post again .

I must say, I'm not sure I like the idea of "ignoring" a problem...

With the guy spreading rumours... try thinking about what it is that makes him want to spread rumours... usually they're trying to keep the attention away from themselves due to insecurities there...

When you connect with this idea and have sympathy for them it makes it rather difficult to get upset about it...

Edit: Please do leave a reply, bodhisattva... I'm interested to see what makes you sad in here.

*feeds cookies to WiccanChicca*


wow



me too

I'd guess that will resolve the sadness and help us to understand your reaction

btw: Bansheecat is wise - but don't tell her I said that.

MNS: I used "ignore" as a temporary remedy. As long as I do not identify with something or someone, there is little that I can call a "problem" in the first place.

Just an hour ago I stood texting into my cell, when I got approached by a woman with a crying baby on her arm, asking me for money. I got a little stressed out and later asked myself "why, Tom?" the answer is: "What kind of a mother would torture her own child, to beg for money?" - I didn't notice a crying baby just until she stood right in front of me.

Still, "getting a little stressed out" is more telling me about myself (in that instant) than about her.

I'm not sure whether the guy is trying to divert attention, I believe the opposite... when you're saying "away from themselves" - you mean from their "innermost"? In this case I would fully agree...

WiccanChicca: you started quite a thing here, didn't you?

Maybe by carefully observing ones self - making these (conscious) mistakes (unintentional) - one gets deep insights about characteristic mechanisms of the mind (many of them being inherited, IMHO) -- one important step towards liberation.

Tom: It is an issue when we are in the same room and I should be paying attention to her, since that is why she is around.

Sounds bad, but if you have a visitor and you ignore them, then that would be a mistake in terms of being hospitable. She is visiting me, therefore has a perfectly correct expectation not to be ignored. At least that is how I see it....

"should-would-could's" and then you end up perpetuating something that you're not really interested in, raising her expectations and such. To me it's more honorable if you're authentic and yourself, than polite and feigning affection. But everyone to his own liking.

True enough. Is just something that was coming in the way, so I view it as a mistake. And when not doing that, was not feigning attention, just that I get easily absorbed and stop paying any.

But I agree with the proverb about not making mistakes being the biggest mistake of all, because it means that you are not really trying anything new.

But anyway....
I will let this line of discussion end from my side, unless there was anything else. Seems to have come to a natural conclusion.

aston:

NEXT!

Sorry Guys! School has been time-consuming (as always), first quarter having already past. My bad, I didn't mean to let so much time lapse before I posted (stupid homework, but oh well, have to keep my A's)

So much conversation!!

I'll just make a short reply, as I am tired and I want to sleep ()

I am also interesting in bodhisttva's response (why does it seem like all adults are either drunk in their free time, or off with friends getting drunk?)

Uh.. Tom... didn't your mother teach you to never talk to strangers? (I love babies though, so I'll let it slide. I got to hold a baby all night the other night! It was pleasing.)

Uh lets see... I really don't know what to say, as I am slightly confused about what direction the whole conversation has taken. (Not as much due to the replies being unclear, more to the fact that I am half dead as I type this.)

Uh.... Hugs to all, sorry I've been off again...

Love you all!!! I'll post later too, when I've had a good three days' sleep.

Tout a l'heure!

Thats a huge claim...

Dunno if you'd call 21 adulthood... but I rarely imbibe alcohol...

I can't comment on the US, but in Australia, there tends to be too much of an emphasis on the depiction of consumption of alcohol, which implies the actual intake occurs more than it really does. (Not to say there isn't an alcohol consumption problem with a huge number of young people (18-25 I refer to, but there is an issue of underage drinking, also) and a hefty number of adults...

Aston is *not* a stranger, sweetheart... and usually I'm the one ppl consider 'strange' errm [/nonsense] honestly as now being 20 (+20) I'm in the lucky position to consider everybody a friend (I just haven't happen to meet yet)... it's only sometimes that I'm not prepared enough for the encounter, therefore get 'surprised' once in a while. And being 2ft10in tall, strong built and missing a tooth I'm usually *not* the kind ppl want to mess with... I'm only saying that in order NOT to give a wrong idea to a sweet 14yr youngster... YOU should NOT talk to strangers! Listen to your mom! And don't reveal you address to anyone, not even here and not even to me! You got that?

Jeez... I'm over twice your height! You ought to put some lifts in your shoes, there, Tom.

'nuff liftn' in this one?

damn fractions ey! *looks it up* - let's correct that figure and add a mere 4ft then....

nitpicker...

I don't feel short anymore! (That sounds really mean, but at 14 my growth has stopped and I'm to be 5' the rest of my young life... Then I shrink! But I didn't mean that in a cruel way!)

And I didn't mean Aston, Tom... I meant when you said "Just an hour ago I stood texting into my cell, when I got approached by a woman with a crying baby on her arm" But, no, I don't talk to strangers. Strange people that I've known a while, yes, but not the norms that I don't know!

MNS - Sorry I didn't really mean to make such a huge claim with that one. I need to work on my wording a bit. Everyone within drinking age that I know here in the states does that (along with my cousin in Canada.) I don't know about the rest of the world though! I'm still in me bubble.

Also, not that it's an extremely bad thing, its not bad at all,(at least, it doesn't bother me at all, I'm just curious.)But, Why do adults call younger people "sweetheart" "hun" "doll" ect. ect.? Pure curiosity. Is it something that just happens as you grow older? Will I end up doing that too? Okay, I'm done.