Corrupt a Wish

It does. Including the one where there are gallons of blood gushing out of the stump of your neck where your head used to be.

I wish I was settled into my apartment in SF already.

you get settled ......only to be unsettled by a huge earthquake that totally destroys your apartment


i wish people would smile more

The Jokers nerve gas gets mass produced and pumped into the atmosphear making everybody smile like idiots whilst they laugh themselves to death.

I wish for something harmless to happen.

your favourite girl gives you a kiss ......then your house falls in on your head


i wish i had

You had... and now you wish you hadn't. We're never going to let you forget it either.



I wish I had a spangly new tent.

you do ....but i burn it at play coz you won't let me forget that i had (or should that be did )


i wish i hadn't burnt your spangly new tent

you didn't, yay for me!

i wish would win at Wimbledon.

You won... a trip out the back door. Shackled by the police.

I wish my room was all packed up and ready to go.

Your room is packed up and ready to go. Literally. They've taken your entire appartment, compacted it, loaded it onto a truck who's service is charged by the mile...

I wish I could stop smoking...

you stop smoking but start catching fire.

i wish i had a tennis ball.

You have a tennis ball. No house, friends, job, teeth, clothes, money,love or hope. But you do have a tennis ball. Which is being 'played with' by a huge smelly dribbly rottweiler in the mud.

I wish my housemates didn't say inane 'goodmornings' when I first wake up and havent even had a cuppa yet.

they don't, because they chuck you out and take all your stuff leaving you with nothing (not even a tennis ball)

i wish i had something to do.

You do , but it's corrupting othr people's wishes. Which is prfoundly unethical really. So you disappear in a tiny puff puff of existential shame. And then, seeing as you don't exist any more; you really do having nothing to do.

I wish I was transported on a magic carpet to play music with my mates in the Three Monkeys cafe.

you get transported in a carpet by three music playing monkeys from a truckstop cafe


i wish everyone could have 3 wishes

Everyone has 3 wishes. None of them come true, mind, but they can wish..

I wish my 3 wishes did come true, in a non-corrupted manner.

to bad !!!!! because ....


i wish i'd never given everybody 3 wishes

You didnt. But as Hamamelis said, it doesn't matter in the slightest cos everyone has them anyway so you end up feeling entirely irrelevant.

I wish the expensive Chanel perfume I just bought on a whim on Ebay was here so I could see if I actually like it!

It is, so you can, and you love it.. almost as much as the bees seem to

I wish for a cocktail

granted! you now have feathers growing out your bum..
(i opted for the more family friendly option..)

I wish my house would tidy itself

Your house decides you are rubbish and evicts you.

I wish I was at Juggle Jam already.

youre at juggle jam but you got there late, and now the only jam left to juggle is mouldy carrot and plum. And you break the jar and get moudly jam all down your leg..

I wish i could see into the future.

It don't look to bright does it and to top it off there is bugger all you can do to change it.

I wish for somebody to renovate my house for me.

lawrence lewellen bowen comes round and does everything in animal skin print


i wish i didn't have a stalker

Your stalker is no longer a stalker as he/she has caught up with you and is now your constant companion.
I wish I didn;t work in airconditioning that gives me colds all the time.

You now hang off the back of a garbage truck for a living.

I wish for somebody to get the irony of me being a dumd ass because i didn't ask a stupid question.

we do but the fact remains p.s i answered your stupid question


i wish my brother and his family would hurry up and get their own house

They do! Yours in fact. I'd get your stuff off the lawn before the rain starts... *thunder*

I wish more happy people called where I work

they do .....but they don't call you all your workmates are instantly cheared up


i wish i could decide whether to take food to Play or just buy it there

You finally decide but then you have a blonde moment and promptly forget what that decision was.

I wish I had a six pack (beer or muscle I'm happy either way)

There's a 2-for-one offer on, so you wind up with a 12-pack, and spend the rest of your life being studied by confused scientists.

I wish it wasn't forecast to rain so much over the next few months.