Corrupt a Wish

you do, unfortunately ive become temporarily dyslexic and so for the next few hours you're stuck in the bathroom unable to move off the toilet seat...it still pops when it comes out though..

i wish i was travelling instead of studying next year

you go travelling but end up loving it so much that you study in it and end up teaching it to new people and make them study it rather than letting them travel.

i wish i could.

You can, you're just really bad at it.

I wish i didn't have as many responsiblities as i do, so i can have more fun.

You get fired tomorrow.

I wish I didn't have to get up at 5:45 AM for work tomorrow.

You have to get up at 3:30 as no transport is aloud on the roads so you have to walk and its raining hale stones

I wish for my car to run on water

you end up driving a Flintstone-esque aquamobile...You asked for it! it runs on water.

I wish I could quit smoking. For Good!

You quit smoking for good, but of course it's good, smoking is bad, tis ashame you started dip tobacco and are at 2 cans a day.....and no one wants to kiss you



i wish i were pretty like drugs.

Life now hands you horse dung. In leaky buckets.

I wish people knew their friggin' jobs around here.

They do know their jobs, and now your company doesn't need you to babysit them anymore and you're fired.

I wish my cable tv was cheaper.

You get free cable tv......now you just gotta find a spot for all this cable in the shape of a tv.



I wish brown cows gave chocolate milk

You get your chocolate milk from the cow then you found out which end it come from

I wish it was still bed time

It's always bedtime, because you are in a coma.

I wish my credit card was payed off.

You get a big fat free cup of coffee... and then you find out they put in some of Poje's 'chocolate milk.'

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.

You got fired. And are blacklisted all over town.

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

You don't need to sleep. You are in the midst of a psychotic mania and rage all over town in ever decreasing circles till you are spinning on the spot and your ears bleed with the centrifugal force and you take off like a little tornado and whizz into a pond where a misplaced shark someone bought for their aquarium until they realised what it was smells the blood and comes to eat you in excrutiating little bites till you cry. And you can't wake up cos it isn't a dream cos you don't sleep.

I wish I had more sleep too. Mmmmm new brown blanket...

you develop Narcalepsey and a fondness for bull fighting. Nuff said there i think.

I wish Bull fighting was illegal.

It is, however giant panda fighting takes off as a result.

I wish I was somewhere else

You find yourself inside a large panda costume in the center of an arena.....as you turn to look around you see an odd looking man with a bunch of swords.


I wish Lobster fighting could replace panda fighting.

The lobster fighting its a great idea and become the new fancy sport.

I wish i could get the dead ones for a great paella!!!! (otherwise i would never afford to have one)

our paella is filled with putrid rotting lobster and all your family and friends choke on little bits of splintered swords.
I wish our huge painting was mounted on the wall and didn't fall over in the wind

it is mounted, it never fell over. however, a small artistic five year old child thought it would be the perfect place to paint his family portrait. aww.. shame it was worth millions beforehand..

i wish my back wasnt itchy in that hard to reach place.

your back becomes not itchy in the easy to reach spot and a fire starts in the spot that you cant reach.



I wish today was 3 years from yesterday.

Today is three years from yesterday but its the worst three years of your life.

I wish the police hadn't raided my house last night.

The police raid your parents house since it is your last know address.

I wish for some cotton candy

You do have some cotton candy! only it's fiber glass insulation, yummy!

I wish i had a cold beer right now.

you have a cold can of beer in you hand but I shook it up before I gave it to you and you didn't see me do it.


I wish for my mother to give me an update of the current situation.

She just called, she said she is going to have to put down your goldfish, Goldie.

I wish Darkfyre the best of luck...

They demolished it instead.

I wish I wasn't on call right now.