Corrupt a Wish

You end up getting a piece of a Penis instead...Yuck

I wish for tighter dreadlocks

Your dreadlocks get tighter and tighter till the pressure on your head implodes your brain and goodey grey stuff comes out your ears.
I wish someone would make me a coffee

Using my awesome valmorification machine and a cunning trick of linguistics, I turn you into a cup of coffee, and then drink you. mmmmm.. hazelnutty. Now all that's left is to enjoy my digestive system.

I wish I had a pocket-full-o-dreams

You get yer pock o' dreams and it's so chock full that when you add another one, it explodes and gets gross, gooey dream juice all over you.



I wish brian would come back.

Brian comes back but it's Brian Jones the long dead member of the Rolling Stones and you get such a fright you slip in the gooey dream juice and get a nasty big bump on your head.

I wish they still made good old movies like Fred Astaire's

They start making good old movies again but the lack of special effects causes them to flop at the box office.

I wish for the re-runs of The Magic Roundabout to come back onto TV.

They come back, and you sit down to watch them, but someone pulls an amilie on you and keeps disconecting ur antenna at the good bits, causing you to jump up and down like a monkey.

I wish i could go back in time...

You go back in time and space to the presice spot where the black death was first contracted by a human.

I wish for 3 more wishes

You get three wishes, but wishes actually become fishes, according to the old saying, and it takes ages to get the smell out of the carpet.

I wish I had a plan.

you have a plan, and yer a man, Panama



I wish someone get's that.

I get it but I't quite lame so I'll allow you to suffer the embarasement.

I wish for a way out of my contract.

You Die.

I wish Dark Fyre Didnt Die.

Dark Fyre doesn't gets out of his contract comes to Ireland, rescues the cucumbers and steals all your drugs.

I wish my credit card would pay itself off.

Your credit card becomes sentient, and learns how to pay itself off by means of taking out loans...
It also applies for several more credit cards in your name, and before long your house becomes filled with sentient credit cards, and the junk they've bought. Plus you start getting court summonses from the people the cards have borrowed money off, who really don't buy your excuse.


I wish it was summer already.

It's summer already and thousands of sentient credit cards decide to book a mass holiday in the lovely and historical UK. They all come visit you.

I wish it was this morning again so I could have another day off.

It is this morning. But the neighbours across the road start loud renovations at 6.30am

You turn into


I wish Gnor was spelled with a K

It is now spel with a K but Knor doesn't like it and changes it back to Gnor

I wish for a pet lizzard

You get a pet brontasaurous.
You have to clean up after it.

I wish for a flintlock.

you get a flintlock go to fire it and get incredible hangfire which then goes off in you face in true cartoon fashion leaving your face covered in black powder.

i wish i had a decent job

you get one but its an immoral one and you eventually bring down the company and go back to your old job which is moral and bad...

i wish for a question.

you ask me what my original job was to which i reply "iv never had one" and then sulk, then throw a hissy fit and go on ranting for so long you forget what your question was

i wish i could get a bit of a local circus troup thing together

you get one together but then one of them overthrows you and you become the tea maker, eventually you get sick of it and leave to make your own NEW troupe, your old and new group then wage war in your local area and best spinning and busking sites for ever more.

i wish for a biscuit covered in Marmite.

you get a biscuit covered in marmite and then realise that nutella is far better

i wish my nutella tub had more nutella in it

you nutella tub gets more nutella in it but you eat so much that you get sick of it and convert to Marmite.

i wish i could realise that Marmite was better.

you realize that marmite is better at making you sick then nutella and you stick to nutella.


I wish for a nutella and banana sangwich

you get one but realise that it is actually Marmite and plantain.

i wish Nutella wasn't so sticky.

Man, that was harsh.

Nutella becomes very slippery and soon replaces grease as a means to lube your bearings AND have a quick snack.


I wish i was in CO.

you become a CO, a 'compete ocelot'

i wish i had another sandwich.

you get another sandwich a marmite and plantain sandwich

I wish I had a million bucks