Corrupt a Wish

You are bombarded for several minutes with bar side peanuts from what seems like every direction, your mouth frozen aghast. After your time is up the bombardment ceases, and upon closer inspection the peanuts have mysteriouly disappeared. The only evidence of their existence is a coating of salt, a few rogue nuts in various facial cavities and the faint aroma of urine

I wish the sun would rise before me and was still up when I finish work

The sun never sets.

I wish the moon was always out

While you sleep i inject you with some morphine and go to work, I flip yer eye lids up and tattoo my ass onto the inside, then i install a nice little light in there that wont turn off or break, muahahhaha


I wish my girlfriend wanted to share other girls.

Your girlfriend turns cannibal. However, she is perfectly willing to share...

By the way.. my last wish was insufficiently corrupted.. as I would be going home.. Therefore, I win! :P


I wish I could get a huggable pet while backpacking, that would not die, kill anyone or cause problems at customs.

You receive an ewok capable of morphing into everyday luggage items. Thus making your passage through customs problem free. However when you reach baggage claim at your destination, the poor little fella has been sent to the wrong airport. After several hours on a conveyor belt in Prague, he emerges, confused. Once out of the airport, the local authorities are soon alerted to his presence and he spends the rest of his full life in captivity, alone. pretty harsh

I wish for something pretty...and nice

I turn up at your door . And demand bed, board and all paid living expenses. Your cash flow dries up and you are forced to move into a tent picketed on the grass verge on the highway.


I wish for Prince Charming tied to my bed.

I am instantly tied to your bed . A fate worse than death

I wish for breakfast, I guess omelette

An omelette appears, but an omelette so large that its gravitational pull causes the whole world to implode.

I wish I had a new car

you get a Skoda

I wish my inlaws wern't coming round.

Your inlaws aren't coming around, they're moving in!

I wish for a day at the fair/theme park, a really good one.

You have a great day at the fair but you crash into a cop car on your way home

I wish for world peace

Everyone stops fighting, but we all get bored and start picking on the dolphins. Which is bad.

I wish I had a chocolate sofa

You had a chocolate sofa, but I ate it.

I wish my job was fun

(I always do these rather harsh)
Granted, but you are stocking boxes on the shelves and a guy walks up wanting to buy a copy of Halo 3. You get it from the counter and he realizes that he doesn't have the money to pay for it. So he grabs your head, bashes it through the glass causing shards of glass to impale both of your eyes and other parts of your face. Then after that he jumps over the counter, kicks you back into the wall, and rams a knife through your skull causing you to scream out in pain. Then he takes you a hand gun and shoots you in the face three times, you drop dead to the floor. Thirty seconds later two of your co workers try to aprehend (sp) him but he shoots them all dead then gets away with a free copy of Halo 3.

I wish my poi came to my house today.

they do, but the postman does exactly what that crazy customer did to burdaA, except instead of a counter its the window on your door, and instead of a wall its a wall of 12" nails. Also he doesnt run away with halo 3 but he does toss your new poi casually in the dustbin on his way out, with only your body and a trail of bloody footprints to show he was ever there...

i wish for inspiration

and you get it. inspiration to open a refugee help organisation. only then your board of directors swindle all the donations into swiss bank accounts and implicate you as the founder. you spend the next 18 years in gaol.

i wish for a great summer holiday.

You get a great summer holiday, you relax and feel vastly recuperated. However upon returning from said vacation, you find all your most prized and personal possessions stolen. Not-so-coincidentally, all the possessions you cared for least or were soon to discard have been left, broken to pieces, hidden all over your house. Wierd huh? You have been hit by the Possession Police.

I wish I was a real boy

granted,but your boy parts are only on loan.

i wish i had an everlasting gobstopper

It is truly everlasting. Unfortunately, you can't actually ever take it out your mouth, so can't eat abything else but soup for the rest of your days.

I wish I had a clue what I was doing.

you do. unfortunately noone else does...!

I wish i could touch the sky

the sky falls down on you and crushes you underneath.

I wish I had a blessed wand of wishing!

granted,but whatever you wish for comes out in zombie form i.e wish for turkey sandwich,get a zombie turkey sandwich.

I wish my feet didnt hurt

Your feet are removed painlessly.

I wish I could speak any language I wanted to at will.

You speak your chosen languages...but Will is deaf and blind and cannot understand.

I wish my shift was over

Your shift is over, but you don't get paid for the unworked time, and therefore you are unable to have funding for the final piece of your time machine and as a result you can no longer go back in time and save Christmas.

You also stub your toe really hard out of frustration


I wish for it to remain sunny this weekend!

It remains sunny this weekend but rains for every weekend here after!

I wish I had ice cream

You are forced- at gunpoint- to drive the icecream van I had in Brisbane round, playing the same stupid music over and over and over until you go insane, or crash, or kill the boss and get arrested..
*gibbers slightly*


Um.. I wish I could do the fwd btb weave well..

you master the move,but forget everything else youve ever learned to do with poi.

I wish i could breathe underwater

you can breathe underwater, but lose the ability to breathe on land. Also your breath smells so no fish will be friends with you...how lonely


I wish I had a lilac pony

You receive a lilac pony...and it can talk...bonus!! But it's racist

I wish for an orange mocha frappuccino