Corrupt a Wish

A large military checkpoint is built outside your house, making it impossible for you to get in or out without an ID check and full body search.
Then hippies start protesting against the obvious injustice by chaining themselves to your fence, thus making it totally impossible for you to get in or out. After a few weeks, you run out of food, and get so thin you no longer resemble your ID, so get detained at the checkpoint, and spend the rest of your life in an offshore detention centre trying to prove your identity.


I wish I could kill this thread.

Your wish is granted but popular demand revives the thread again

I wish for telepathic/telekinetic powers

You accidentally make the moon crash down onto your head.

I wish I had six fingers on each hand.

you grown another finger on each hand.. you get bored and are soon unimpressed by your additional digits

I wish i had someone to go to this gig with tonight

You go with MEEEE, but because I'm so CRAZY we both get arrested and put in padded rooms for the rest of our lives.

I wish I had a really pretty new dress.

cab we spin in the padded rooms? if so i'm happy

you get your pretty new dress and wear it to the gig with me.. and hence we have both just been sections you will wear the dress until then end of your days!

i wish for a blue smartie ( i hate that nestle got rid of them)

You get a blue smarty. However it is blue because of mould rather than colourings.

I wish for breakfast.

You are breakfast.

I wish I had scissors that won't get gummed up by duct tape.

you get your sissors that wont get gummed up with duct tape, but the do how ever get duct taped up with your gums.


i wish i knew what was going on.

You discover what is going on and it turns out to all be an elaborate way of making you lose the game.

I wish I hadn't just lost the game.

You didn't lose yourself, but the person you are standing next to does, and then tells you that they did.

I wish for a fire-scythe to twirl.

You get a fire scythe, swing it on your very first practice, and decapitate yourself. On the bright side, you did make the Darwin Awards.

I wish I could speed up and slow down time at will..

Granted, but you begin to wonder what would happen if you do both at once, and when you try it your head explodes.

I wish for motivation to start studying for the impending exams.

You get the motivation to study, but the exams are really easy, thus negating the wish.

I wish a certain person would email me back

A certain person emails you back but it's not the person you expected and the email contains a nasty virus!

I wish I could be 25 again.

You are twenty-five again, but plummeting to earth at terminal velocity.

I wish for an industrial laser

you fire the laser but it hits a mirror reflecting into your eyes burning them out of your head so you stumble backwards into some randomly placed jagged glass killing you instantly after about half an hur of excruciating pain



i wish i had long sharp weapon-like object

You get it but it replaces your current arm thus making it impossible for you to use it to eat or type on the computer.

I wish a certain person and me would get back together and live happily ever after.

You two get back together and live happily ever after.....which is about 3.346 minutes before the world ends.

 Written by: Keylan_Rulz


placed jagged glass killing you instantly after about half an hur of excruciating pain

....lol


I wish i was a graemlin

You become a graemlin and are used continuously, abused, misused and eventually seek therapy.

I wish for the exact amount of kevlar to make my fire axe would attach itself to my axe without costing me money, sanity, life or causing me any physical or emotional damage.

Ooh.. sentient kevlar..
It attatches itself to your axe, but only on it's terms.. and unfortunately it takes offence at you trying to set fire to it, and you wind up playing 'chase the flaming sentient kevlar' round the house..
You forgot 'damage to property' on that list..

I wish I didn't keep nearly fainting every time I stand up today..

you stand up without almost fainting but hit your head on a low hanging beam which knocks you out for a week causing you to miss your flight

I wish I could be more organised

You could be. You just aren't.




I wish I had a life.

You develop a life only to have me take the piss out of it constantly.

I wish I had more than $8 to my name

Hang on a week, I'll give ye 50 cents.


I wish I could think of an amusing, yet pertinent wish. The sort that makes you laugh, and think at the same time..

You come up with such a wish but it makes people think sad thoughts that makes everyone stop spinning

And stops them coming up with wishes, apparently.

yes, distracted.

I wish I had a job in a bar instead of a kitchen

you get a job in a bara nd are forced to clean up everyones sick after a heavy night on the lash!

I wish i could stand on the edge of time with someone who completes me

you find somebody that compleats you and you stand on the edge of time. But they have a hidden aggenda and push you over the edge into oblivion.

I wish I had a cadburys ceream egg