Corrupt a Wish

You get the new truck, but it has 63 illegal immigrant stow aways in the back and you are arrested and get a life sentence in jail for human trafficking.

I wish poje would change his picture...

Poje changes his picture, but replaces it with an even creepier looking clown!!!


I wish I was at common Ground already!

you get to common ground now, before everyone, and the festival gets cancelled without you knowing.

I wish my helix piercings would heal so i could get an industrial

Your piercings heal and you get an industrial, only to realise that you made a BIG boo boo and got an industrial building instead of an industrial piercing. Ouch. Now you're broke.


I wish that I had really funky dreads.

you get your funky dreads, but you get tired of how much you need to maintain them and shave your head.

I wish I was better at staves

you're better at staves, but you're also gheyer than ben-ja-man.

i wish my housework would do itself.

Your housework does itself. Continuously. You can't even get dressed without your clothes jumping off your body and hiding in the washing machine, and never mind eating!

I wish I had synasthesia.

You get synasthesia, but then hear a britney spears song and become permanantly blind (ARRRGGHHH MY EYES!).

i wish i could shoot lasers from my eyes.

you can shoot lasers with your eyes, only it happens every time you blink....

i wish there was more food in my fridge.

There's more food in your fridge, but now you can't close the door.

I wish I could find another 600 words for my essay...

You find another 600 words for your essay, write it all out, graduate, do another degree, graduate, do a master's and graduate, do a doctorate and graduate, become a successful academic, become a famous academic- then one day you spill soup on a fellow academic's tie- he discovers 600 words you wrote early in your career were clearly plagiarised verbatim. You are now a famous plagiariser.

I wish I didn't know this was clearly Bedazzled inspired..

You lose all knowledge of Bedazzled.

I wish someone would post below me...

Someone posts below you, but unfortunately what she writes makes you loose the game.

I wish someone would send me a PM so I could get all excited.

You get your PM, but it contains a hidden hypnotic message, instructing you to eat your keyboard.

I wish I had 9 lives.

I just sent you a PM, but the system lost it before you could get it.

I wish to be content.

You become content, content with permanent sub-mediocrity.

I wish Tom Waits was my da.

Tom Waits becomes your District Attorney.

I wish I hadn't forgotten my polyhedral dice back in Maryland.

Da: Irish term meaning father

You remembered to grab your polyhydral dice, but the pair you grabed will only land on 1.

I wish for a colony of ferrets that will only do my bidding. (MWUAHAHAHAHA!)

You get your colony, but the way in which they do your bidding reminds you of a popular thread on HoP.

I wish for a cardboard box big enough to hide in...

You receive a matchbox and start shrinking til you fit inside it.

I wish I didn't have to go back to uni today

You don't. You've been thrown out for a string of shocking incidents involving nutella, kerosene and a lighter stolen from some bloke called Steve. Now you have to go and get a boring 9 to 5 job!


I wish Mondays didn't suck.

You start working weekends, thus making Monday better by comparison.

I wish for a snapping turtle... with hyper-velocity cannons!

You get said snapping turtle, but upon donning an oriental-style mask and cape for next years Cosplay, the snapping turtle mistakes you for Shredder...


I wish for a miniature elephant!

Your miniature elephant arrives safely bubble wrapped via courier. You spend many happy hours playing with your new friend, until he chokes attempting to eat a relatively large peanut.

I wish for the concentration to study.

YOu get the concentration to study, but you concentrate too hard on your work and no tenough about what's going on around you and you burn to death in your house.

I wish I could come to CG.

I wish Pogo69 had better reading comprehension

Pogo gets better reading comprehension but then he's no longer funny so he turns into a puff of smoke.

I wish I had Spanish Elves to do my homework

You receive a dozen spanish elves to do your homework, lifting your modest grades to outstanding, perfect scores. You become the highest scoring person in your course for this semester, and are invited to a conference to speak on current world views in Spanish...

...Despite your efforts to dress one of your elves as a rouge-shaped dragon, your game is up.

I wish I wasn't feeling run-down three to four days before CG!