Corrupt a Wish

Your car can no longer mate with other cars


I wish BACON!

Bacon appears but is eaten by a dog.

I wish I had a nummy cookie!

You have one, but it makes your mouth numb so you do not taste it anyway.

I wish that thorium was more interesting.

Thorium is all of a sudden more interesting! It fights crime wearing a purple and white spotted leotard, can see through walls, melt solids with its toenails and can turn any liquid into mucus using the power of persuasion... sadly for you, you're no longer studying thorium... you're studying a new element, Franglium which is formed in a process in which sandpaper and nappies are superheated, compressed and shot out of a cannon into the arctic tundra producing 98% Franglium, 1% bubble wrap, .5% corn starch, .25% AA torch batteries and .25% cowbell.

I wish that I could do these assignments more easily without reducing the quality.

An infinite number of monkeys knock on your door, and say they're tired of writing Shakespear and want to do some of your assignments for a change.

Unfortunately, you get caught when one of them leaves a bunch of little bananary fingerprints all over the paper, and they wind up getting the qualifications instead of you. Plus they eat all your food.


I wish I didn't have to work on such a lovely sunny day.

You don't have to work on such a lovely sunny day... because you've been hospitalised... Now all you can do is watch re runs of days of our lives and watch people poorly do the 2bt weave outside your window.

Douglas Adams! He's a good old chap, I wish he didn't have to die.