How many times do I need to shoot myself in the foot?

To sum it up in a few words, things suck big-time, I have no idea why but they do.
I thought with a new job and a shed-load of new people to annoy things would be good but they're not, I crave something I haven't got.
I know its out there but have no idea of how to find it. I know I need it to obtain any kind of satisfaction and yet I dont know what it is. What the hell is going on? ?

Somedays I feel like I should be in a study room where people can gaze at me and take notes to see if I resemble normality enough to be let back out and yet other days I feel like im on top of the world and nothing can touch me. Sure we all go through these phases but how come the lows seem to last so long? Am I being a melodramatic muppet or is my subconcious trying to force some thought or concept to my frontal lobes but Im just being too dumb to realise?

<-- This is how I feel, I have no reason or excuse for it.
<-- This is how I should feel.

+ ? =

Why do these things not add up? Whats missing?

[ 20. November 2002, 07:07: Message edited by: Kurobei ]

Jesus

Hi Hunny - long time no see..

I know EXCATLY how you feel - I crave for something in my life that is not here too.. I just keep having to say to myself that I AM happy, EVERYTHING is great..

Oh god I wish I had more time to post these things - so I can explain and get my words out in the right way.. but I only have access to the web at work and I take the piss enough.. but soon I shall be able to explain better as I'm getting a PC at home..

But to recap -you are not alone my friend..
Have a hug and remember to smile .. it releases hormones that make you happy - and as soon as your body gets used to it.. that craving should diminish.. right I'm off to find something I haven't got again!

Kurobei babe we must sit and have a chat soon!

I be getting you number off Lolli!

Anyways... You musnt push for things in life. Everything has a time and a place and you must wait for everything to unfold.

The last year of my life has been similar to what you described although not eveything was going peachy. In the last three weeks several changes both external and within myself have allowed me to be happy and satisfied. For the first time I can remember in years everything is going my way and I am enjoying it but it took a long road and many tears to get here.

Everything will be OK in the end if its not ok then you have not yet reached the end.

Love and many hugs to you babe!
Drome

Big

Maybe the missing thing is thinking Pink? i know it sounds wierd but whenever i think about the colour pink i smile...i dont know why! just makes me happy.

listen to the advice given, i'm not very good at typing advice down i'm afraid!

Take care

Me too but i know someone who is

OK, not knowing you I'm going to try and give some generic advice. There's also really good thoughts on happiness in the 'Thoughts on Life' and 'Do you believe in Happiness?' threads.

This is really a very common feeling, and seems to be growing in our competitive society. There's even pressure to be happier than other people as well as healthier, happier, etc.. We're given this image of a happy life as sunshine and smiles, a shiny car, stable job, relationship and a house with a paved driveway and violets in the flower beds. It's a perception thing, at the moment you don't think you're happy because you're 'missing' something. Your current self doesn't fit your image of a happy you, and a large part of that image might well be subconscious.

It's ok to be down and upset at times. Otherwise life would be pretty boring. But if you're going to let something get you down and affect you too much you'd better be sure it's a really, really good reason.

Truth is, things don't suck big time. It seems that everything is going pretty well. However you might not really realise this and you're focusing on the negative more than the positive. You see yourself as not being in a happy place and so you're unhappy.

Try and think of all the good things that are happening to you at the moment. Start with an easy one: you're alive. Just thinking that makes me fucking buzz with delight! Sounds cheesy, I know, but I'm alive and experiencing life and that's absolutely fucking amazing! Pretty much everything else is a good reason to be happy: your friends, family, smiles from strangers, hazelnut ice cream. Lots of stuff.

Then think about what's really actually 'bad' in your life. Not just things like you stumped your toe, your stuck in traffic or you dont own a sports car because they're all superficial things. And remember that a lot of what often gets us down is quite superficial or can easily be solved by thinking about it differently. Arguments tend to be petty, lack of money isn't so bad when you can still eat, etc...

Think hard about what you think is happiness, and what your recipe for happiness and joy is. Focus on emotional reasons as opposed to materialistic reasons. Hopefully you'll see you're already there and there's a lot to smile about.

I'm a firm believer in reading books. There's a lot of good books out there about ways to find happiness, meaning for life, whatever. A lot of it is too much but I found that there's often a lot of really useful mental exercises that help you put life in perspective, especially in Buddhist teachings.

Count your blessings, look for the good, be thankful for what you have.

All over the world, people are starving, homeless, in war, being raped, beaten etc... I would guess that you are not, so be thankful for your life, and be grateful that you have a chance, a body and a brain to do something with your life!

After I have spent considerable amounts of time not reading anyones reply all I have to say is

*drumrole* Welcome to life!!!

I think that highs and lows are a shire sign of normalcy. Nobody is happy 24-7 and I know some pretty happy people.

I know you dont want to hear much from me Kuro so I will end the message hehe

Ray how often do you get to take out your aggresions on the firing range?

aww sweety

i think dom has the right idea *though mebbe some space, should it become avalible, should be taken just to escape and get your head around things and really take in the good things you have. . like all the fluffy ppl here who love you to bits!

will send you that email tomorow

lots of luv
lolli x x

calmer mind = happier mind

Personally I'm not that happy at the moment. But i know that i'll get to see my lady love eventually so my outlook never flags too much.

I know that when i move closer, to she that fills my dreams then, my spirits will soar.

Perhaps a move or change of scenery is in order . . .

Hey babe

There can be a million and one reasons why you are down. It may be that there is something missing in your life, and only you can figure out the answer to that. Or it may be an internal attitude thing, and only you can figure that out. Or it may be that you are suffering from some form of depression, and that too needs to be figured out.

But whilst you need to figure these things out for yourself, you don't have to be alone and unsupported to do it. We are here for you, and your friends are there for you too. If you need to chat to me, send me a PM.

C@ntus, I just have a twisted perspective on life. But I have not been to the range for about 6 months now.

It's winter and you're getting SmallBoy hug withdrawal symptoms - lol

Say no more.......

PM'd u bud

my sweet brother ... winter sucks ... I always get winter un satisfied syndrome until this time ... decided to run away from wointer for a year

I think sometimes this feelings happens when things are too good in fact, not when things are bad...

fear of losing what one has, fear of an unknown feelnig of calm and love and peace...

i used to be the queen of running away from happiness by fear of losing it ... finding proble;s, feeling not satisfied...

ALLOW YOURSELF TO SHINE

SHINE ON you beautiful beautiful soul, shine on my friend. you are loved by so many of us and you are one incredible amazing young man

Cass

the chinese say our general emotional state is related to the health of the organs of the body, and their level and flow of chi. melancholy is related to an organ, and i can't remember which, but you can adjust your diet and find that you can directly affect your moods. i firmly believe in this. i wish i had more specific info but somebody else here might. any acupuncturists out there?
but my own personal advice? go snuggle up with a good _platonic_ cute freind in a big soft down bankey and watch funny movies until you fall asleep in each other's arms.

Change of Pace

chin up, beloved! it will get better! you will figure it out! oxoxxoxo

Master Kurobei,

life's a beautiful bitch.

a new phrase you've inspired me to compose. each of the 4-1/2 words part of the whole truth.

shall we love her, not quite as i feel great warmth for you, K-sama?

check your PM's, old friend.

with all my love,

~ Mikie