The Official Male HoP Auction!

alright, as my ego swelled to gallactic size when i recieved a 100 000 euro bid, i must try to put some more meat on this matter and sell myself

now i must admit that Zeus the lightning god has put on a good show which im sure most will admit has raised the stakes in this enterprise, but that isn't, technicaly speaking, competition for me I must defend my personal interests (my personal interests: be bought and used for unspeakable things by beautiful woman, or women ). so here goes, why you should buy Yanni, or at least go for the free trial session

-i am french, so at least i have that tactical asset.
-i, too, consider the act of giving head as one of my most favourite things to do
-i can compose morose and depressive poetry, and recite it with a thick french accent, or better, recite it...in french!
-i can spin poi, oh wait... so can you all, ok forget that one
-i cannot, i repeat, cannot fix a computer. (im sure some find that sexy, maybe)
-i can fit into relatively small spaces and do not snore, not even during sex
-i cannot think of anything else
oh yes, of course
-i can cook, well, it can be risky but im still alive so...


ps: i heard there was a female auction in this area, maybe i can find a reciprocal bidder and we can cancel the whole economic process out and get to the point

all these yummy yummy and eligible men to bid for *licks lips*
now there is just far too much competition for mike so i dont think i'll even go there!
MiG, i'll bid NOT fixing my computer
yannicus, if you can give me romantic poetry with a thick french accent (no point saying it in french cos i wouldnt have a clue what you were saying ) but i can't beat 100 000 euro!
and Mags looks taken...

MiG no need to fix computer anymore. got a brand spanking new one and with that bid I place a hula skirt, a toffee apple, and a huge box of tim tams
Rouge hes mine

well i wasnt going to get into a bidding war over MiG, but if i must, i must...
i'll bid not fixing my computer, and air time at barwon heads airport (my friend did work experience there and had the best time of his life!), and TWO packets of tim tams!

i wont let him go without a fight!

Shaving your body is in vogue? Ner, it won't last. While it may look nicer, this whole "queer eye" thing, it doesn't trigger raw sexual attraction.

There's never going to be a stage in human development when Sean Conerys James Bond is going to be considered too butch to be attractive.

Oooh as a side note, I have a bi mate who is having trouble finding "straight acting" gay guys, any tips for him anyone?

Woohoo!!!

I got a Jedi!!! Do you do tricks and levitate and stuff?!

Oh wait. Oh no, I don't have a Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable

Dammit, will you take a Collins Concise English Dictionary and Samuel Beckett's Complete Dramatic Works instead?!!

Lol... and there's nothing wrong with too much porn... unless you (or said girl/boyfriend) starts taking it as gospel.

And, Mr Yannicus, you French-types only go round wooing impressionable young women with your fancy poetry then callously break their hearts... youse are all the same (ooohhhh, bitter, twisted, moi?!)!!

Anyways, so have I got an ado-p too?! For the price of a stuffed monkey?!

Sweet, life is good

Hi I am going to bid a complete flame coloring set for Ado-p (that I - by the way - stole from my lab...)

*chuckles at Mele* Yeah, that and it feels nice. AT FIRST!

this bid is still on? im still sleeping alone? something isn't right in this enterprise.

firepoise, i must admit to being quite shocked by your ethnocentric approach to my frenchness. first, i rarely break hearts, more than often I am the cloven-hearted one. second, i am only half french, the british half of my blood is a very efficient sex repellent. and third, uh, oh yes, its not the poetry that does it, its the pectorals (god bless those maori for inventing poi).

and mrs dragon, forget the 100 000 euro, the poetry session (mm, euphemism) is free if you say please. please say please.

and im sure that shaving the nether regions will make the package look bigger, due to less wrapping, but inevitably isn't worth the itch. i go the conery way and assume my pubescence.

mele, im up for bids, in fact i'll be on the market till the grim one claims my soul, and im sure even after that i'll be on the divine market... god i look foreward to that.

anyway, i tried to get a picture up here but my technical illeteracy has won for tonight.

im drunk and tired and sweating like a fat man on speed in vegas at noon; they said it was monsoon in senegal... where is the rain? i want some tropical rain!!!

Y.

yannicus;
Please

Ahem,
Yannicus, my comments were intended in jest, based on my own rather appalling connection to a Frenchman. Sorry if the tone was not apparent over the internet.

He was also only partially French, but he added a bit of Chinese, Laos, Vietnamese and Khmer, which actually worked in compliment to his 'confident' French-ness ()

Why are you in Senegal, if you don't mind me asking? And what's it like? (apart from damn hot)

Sarah, that's a fairly impressive bid, emmm... not sure if I own anything better than that... will think about it (but am not giving up yet )

ooh! and who was being sold for a Dictionary of Phrase and Fable? cos i think i have one of them in my library

Hmmm, maid's uniform, eh?!

That sounds like a good deal

What's he gonna wear?!

xx

Well.... ? ... Isn't that obvious?

hahahaha... does he know about that yet?!

xx

Do you think I have to force him? He voluntarily bid a footmassage and the costume for me... I don't think he just did it to be charitable...

I find shaved "nethers" a huge turnoff. Some instinct causes me to recoil, I suspect because part of my mind reads that as "preadolescent," and automatically (I assure you) cuts off any libido. Ewww, in fact.

I once knew a guy whose hair all fell out when he was four, due to a birth defect. His pubic hair, which hadn't grown in at that point, grew in normally (well, it was a little sparse) when the time came. So he was smooth everywhere, but visibly adult. The lashless eyes were a little disconcerting at first, IIRC.

Have I won the bidding for STB Dr. Mike?

mele, womanly wiles are beyond something so shallow as commerce, priceless. i wont be in paris till the 15th of september, hope you'll be there. if not ill make sure to tell you if i go to the uk, we can read some poems, eh? eh? nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more...

miss rouge dragon, dont say please, dont tempt me like this!! i might get frustrated and turn green and huge and fight genetically modified monster dogs... oof this is getting out of hand: but you said please so a kiss for now

firepoise, you were in perfect control of your tone, its mine that was off. i just like sounding like a smart upperclass brit and sometimes i sound snotty. no offence taken, and i hope you took none either. and the french are brutes, its a cold hard fact of nature.
senegal is nice, and humid, but dakar is a bit boring if you dont know anyone: im going to sali, a beach resort, this week so that might be more worthy of a tale. ill post a diary entry in my intro thread later on.
and shame on my fatherland for sprouting the frenchman who hurt you in anyway, un jour il aura son tour.

anyway, if someone can explain how i can put a picture in a message, ill put a pic up for all eyes, in the nude! no, maybe an artistic nude, or more likely a swimsuit pic.

keep the bids rolling, us boys are swelling up inside

Inside your pants, you mean!

I thought the same.... ....

dirty minded mr clean,

well, the door was wide open, i guess i was just askin for it

Lol...

No, no Sarah, I thought you meant he would be wearing the maid's outfit. An interesting image indeed

Certainly no offence taken Mr Yannicus... why do you think it is that French men are so... yep, brutish is a good word?!
And I'm sure he will get his comeuppence one day.

Bise
x

yannicus, if you're going to say things like "the door was wide open" in this context, you might find out just how dirty my mind really is!

BTW, I understand Mr Clean is sold in France under the name Monsieur Propre. Probably I spelled that wrong.

lol... aww why?! It would've made such an interesting picture