The Official Male HoP Auction!

so i see from the photo you sent me C@ntus..... veryyyy impressive.

and here i thought it was impossible to like your own elbows....

bids two jars of nutella, four jars of fluff, three packets of timtams, and one massage for Bendy

yes mistress, back to the closet i go...

Hmmm so there's a black market for Bendy pictures eh? I've got some more you know...

Is that whole licking elbows thing eligible to get into Gene Simmons Tongue magazine? I think it should.

Since Ray and pozee are gone, and Malcolm and Charles are already taken matrimonily....

Can I put in a bid on MikeGinny, FireMike and Rick now or do I have to wait for them to take the stand? And did I miss the bidding on NYC? I'd hate to let him get away.

I'd also like to pimp..er...donate one Whipping Boy and a Prometheus to the block (sold seperately of course)!

<funnyVoice>
Helloo
My name is Guy Incognito.
I would like to bid in this auction please.
Put me down for two-and-a-half jars of nutella, four jars of fluff, three packets of timtams, and one massage for Bendy.
</funnyVoice>

LOL Bendy you cant bid on yourself..... `

C@ntus sent me a pic of you, seeing as you had put yourself up for auction. I wont deny being impressed. I will deny having to wipe slobber off my computer screen after veiwing said pic.... Didnt happen. Cant prove it, ectect....

Pele, you have to wait till they offer themselves up for auction, sowwy.... but i;ll do a post for PWD and Prometheus asap!

Actually it wasn't the elbow licking one Bendy. It was the one handed handstand one.

I thought about sending the passed out in a hammock one too but haven't thus far.

Theres a hammock one??

puts her hand up...

Was not passed out.

Just having a really good time

Raymund Phule, Kyrian, and FireMike arrive in a squad of Apache helicopters on loan for international moral defense purposes from Ray's employer, scan searchlights through darkness of several continents seeking telltale occasional, "can't help herself" flare-ups of burning kevlar to spot kidnapper positions.

Sensitive, quantity-parsing metal detectors scan for Claymore-size swords in the hopes that Bram, if also captured, has managed to keep his weapon by his side. . . or wait, is that Bram gesturing with long arms from below, ready to climb up in the Apache squad, to join the posse?

Megaphones and secret undisclosed satellite method of narrow-beaming sonic messages darts precisely to within 30 cm of eardrums of all suspects and the possible captives in their control, saying "This is Flynt's Auction House, you are in violation of House Rules, give up your stolen boys! Repeat, give up your stolen boys!"

Ray is tempted to fire off. . .not machine gun shot, some fire-tailed missiles clearly fiercer than poi trails and staff-waving by renegade Amazons.

But wait. . . do the abductees want their freedom? Have they been seduced and won over by their captors?

And the question of the next hour:

WHERE'S POZEE's CLOSET? (NYX RAISES SEX SLAVES IN WARM SWEATY DARKNESS) Has his Government issue titanium tracking device been removed along with all his. . .coverings by the unscrupulous, domineering, utterly crazed NIGHT vamp? Will Raymund's remote control scanner find him before it is. . .too late and he "signs his life away," the great defeat he has always feared, as he tells us, tells all, in the Marriage Proposals thread?

Will these studs get free, & fulfill their duties from this auction, or obtain rainchecks from their buyers or captors, in time to make their own bids in the Official HoP Female Auction?

What of the winning bidders? Will they pay before deliver when the merch is gone AWOL?

Hear the next exciting chapter in "Flynt's Auction Follies & Vigilante Chronicles, brought to you live, a Home of Poi exclusive!"

~ House Security

[ 25 September 2002, 15:19: Message edited by: FireMike ]

THIS JUST IN:

Flynt valiantly protesting her innocence over HoP Male Auction, claiming to have permission from each and every Male up for bidding...

"Its true, i have the PM's to prove it!"

She will be appearing in court later this week with substantial evidence to back her claim.... Meanwhiles the Judge has ruled that bidding may continue as per usual!

That was the hammock in question by the way.

Reliable sources indicate, on condition of anonymity, that Judges Pele, Smallboy, & Maximus will head an International Fire Arts team of human rights inspectors, already requesting all documents & verbal communications from the Auction House!

Can I put my brothers up for auction please? They'd both agree if they were here.

I'll show you the merchandise and you can let me know.

Spiral:

Durbs:

well, C@ntus, at least one looks promising, price-wise

and ya never know on da bidding crowd, taste, taste - or did you have a minimum bid/ minimum final gavel price in mind? oh, and to whom are the proceeds payable, with proof of ownership?

but where is the bender in question?

Adren@line where are you, its cold in here. I wanna go home

Durbs looks very promising! im sure ther'll be plenty of bidders there... as for Spiral, well, he;s cute, but the hat has to go!

`

Nice Hammock Bendy... `

Bram honey, Adren@line lives in Tasmania. Also cold there.... Good luck with that! `

[ 25 September 2002, 16:09: Message edited by: Flynt ]

Bram, buddy, you're OK? or where ARE you? have you been kidnapped? WHY is it COLD where you ARE? say something, send up a signal, wave your Claymore so we can pick it up on the scanner. Which continent are you on NOW?

_____________________________________

(* ahem *) New biz

As a late adjunct official and possibly (unless I can avoid it, as temporary Executor/ Receiver under Court Orders, but I am appealing for another candidate for this role during the investigation),

C@ntus, most importantly,

have your brothers both had all their shots?

I am sitting beside Flynt in the auction house.

yeah, we keep the airconditioning up high, so that when they arent wearing shirts, their nipples stay all cute n pointy....

did i really just say that?

*HIDE*

but mine aren't. you are forgetting that i am from Canada. they don't get cute and pointy till atleast -100 degrees celcius

so what, I didn't go to anybody , I see how much you all care.

actually Master Na, you went to Rozi as well, See? there you are! in the limo! drinking whiskey with Falloutboy..... arent you lucky? `

tut, tut (* hands simple hand-held hairdryer to Flynt *) that'll warm up little points

Pele, divine obsession, i am always yours, you flatter a poor worshipper so. . . but duty calls, i'm not available ON the block until i've helped save these poor/ lucky/ demented/ almost fluid-spent/ who knows/ male merchandise (what a weird plural=singular, is it, C@ntus). . .

& helped negotiate a few incoming like C@ntus brothers, or got master sodium re-tagged, while Flynt's attention is half-tied-up with court matters. . . think she's getting some breathing room, now though. . . you ok, boss? finally soothing your throat and gettin some relaxation in da back seat with your boy toy?

[ 25 September 2002, 16:31: Message edited by: FireMike ]

*starts singing Static X chunes*
cold we're so cold
we are so cold
we're so cold

humming we laugh
my head falls back

mumble mumble mumble.....

*mouth freezes shut fromthe coldness*

umm, I dont drink. can I have some good canadian dank buds? or some turkish hash?

and I never saw nothing saying I went to rozi.

here *hands mr Na a canadian spliff*
take care as theres not much there