Why the military doesnt have evil robots of doom

Why I hear you ask? Is it because it’s too hard? Hell no.... so why then? because their scientists are retarded and not in the in drooling on my shoulder kinda way .... no they make people like that look like geniuses. Ok so ive got a portion of a project funded by the department of defense writing a vision system for an underwater robot. Now the project is simple enough but sadly so is the guy who is supervising it all which wouldn’t be so bad if left me alone to do my bit.

I had my suspisions from the start seeings as he though it was possible to train a neural net with human input to be able to distinguish between 8 million different colours which would quite literally take a lifetime to do if it was possible which its not due to the adaptive nature of the human eye..... anyway i digress

So the other day I get an email from him saying

I have made a new arrangement to support your machine-vision PC trials.
Call me for further discussion.

So I go see him and he takes me to room where the pc for it is and instead of it being on the trolley it was originally on its now on a table with wheels.... that was it.... i was so releived he showed me cos i would never have noticed on my own .... He then proceeded to show me how the side bits could go up and down ... im not sure how exactly but somehow I managed not to slap him.

He had given me a burnt copy of some shitty industrial software they paid way too much for, I told him it was no good to us as it was designed for static lighting conditions. He was a bit shocked and then gave me the original cd to have a look at as it might have something else the burnt one didn’t...... I mean really wtf!!! Maybe the cd fairies came and put something else on there while no one was looking..... Soooooo wasting my time.

to add insult to injury I had written a short report showing how the cameras casing affects the hue (colour) saturation (amount of greyness in the colour) and luminance (level of light) to the data from the camera. This is simply done by subtracting the pixels in an image from the camera from another image taken of the same scene with the case in the way.... simple enough. when I was point to each image after saying that it was the result of the subtraction of each channel (hue, sat and lum) he proceeded to ask me if it was the image from the camera with the case there or without, not once not twice but three times !!!!!

How he is a Dr I don’t know, my mind boggles I mean like really really boggles. Ive decided I have to finish the project before the next group meeting and avoid him up until then I think it’s the only way I can avoid slapping him with a large trout.
/end rant

"why the military doesnt have evil robots of doom"

i'm pretty sure it already does:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/3591684.stm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unmanned_Combat_Air_Vehicle

go ask the cia about ucav's - they love them

so, has your new desk got a drawer ben?
and a place to put your pencils?
that's the most important thing - i can't stand it when i have pencils but no pencil pot.

so, that guy sounds like a bit of an idiot with absolutely no experience of how its possible to improve digital images.

but that's why he hired you innit?

say he'd done an astonomy masters then he'd know and they wouldn't need you, they'd just need a camera and a computer - never overlook the fact that this man's shortcomings are probably the reason you have a job


cole. x

unmanned vehicles are just glorified remote control planes/cars/boats .... thats how most of them start out in the prototyping phase. evil robots of doom will require a tiny bit more sofistication in that whole autonomy bit, take the human sitting in the bunker miles away control it out of the loop and theeeeen we might be on our way. unfortunately/fortunately i guess it depends on which way you look at it, all you need to do to impress someone in the military is strap a really big gun/bomb onto a remote control car call it a robot then make something explode.

those planes weren't robots

robots have legs

legs that go "whirr whirr bzzt CLUNK" every time they take a step

(disclaimer: you can get planes that turn into robots sometimes)

he he he - not technically a robot but quite amusing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDybfY-300A

I seem to recall either someone from Battlebots, or one of the guys from my USFIRST robotics crew saying that the military didn't have evil robots because they were scared of what would happen if they cut people from either event loose in their labs.

Why do we not use robots of doom? Have you ever owned a computer that you would be willing to hand a gun to?

If we want to build a nonhuman soldier, lets start with some better designed basic technology. Let's start training St. Bernards on how to sniff out terrorist, then shoot them.

... Sarah Conners surrenders

NEVER! you were never meant to prevent judgement day, only survive it.

i am an evil robot of doom. unfortunatly i was created by Tom from Myspace so all i do is whinge about how individual i am.

Dude, I didn't get any of that nerd talk.

You should come work for me! I've been looking for some evil robots of doom, for quite some time now...

Stop expecting so much of people... or you'll always be dissapointed.

Stupidity is relative.... Mostly relative your your opinion of what isn't stupid. In which case, the more you carry on like this, the more stupid people you're likely to meet.

It's like that movie 6th sense: "I see stupid people. They're everywhere. Some of them don't even know that they're stupid!!"

Next time you see a stupid person, pretend you're a malfuntioning robot, them hug them and fall over. Then see who feels stupid...

i you james




cole. x

you know i think the real reason is that we dont want some machine to take the credit if we do something amazing, sure no one is willing to take the blame when thousands of inocent people die because of our actions, but no self respecting red necked gun loving soldier would let the a robot get the credit if they found saddam hussein now would they???

Simian, you are my favorite nerd... hands down

*sings*

robots in the skies

whos that japanse guy thats making a robot that can do his lectures for him?

arrrghhh

was in new scienstist last week...

awesome.

Who or what is a metal mickey dude!

Didn't Jonny 5 turn evil for a while?
I would also not trust someone as depressed as Marvin, he's the kinda guy who'd go on a killing spree in Picadilly!

indeed he was, i'd give him to my nephew if i had one

Simian, Solas , you rock.

one day...