Public introspection

Today I have mostly been considering whether or not I want to keep visiting this site.

I used to love coming here and would spent great lengths of time trawling through the pages looking for interesting things to do and people that looked lost that I could try to help out. I liked the fact that people seemed to genuinely like me and paid attention to things that I said. I loved the fact that people seemed to actually enjoy my sense of humour and general style of aimless banter.

Plus I liked to try and help out the site by looking out for potential troublemakers and/or HoPpers who were in need of help from senior members of the HoP team. And pointing people in the right direction.
I was always under the impression that Malcolm and the mods were happy about me doing this (as they often sent me encouraging emails to that end).
But it seems I was misguided in this belief as a senior member of the admin team chastised me the other night for doing just that.
This makes me reluctant to try and help now. I don’t want to upset any one obviously. I just always thought I was helping…

And it’s little things like that that started me thinking that I maybe don’t want to post on here anymore.

There’s a lot more reasons than that but I don’t want to upset individual people (why should anyone but me be p!ssed off – wouldn’t be very fair now would it)

Suffice to say that it’s a whole load of little things that, I guess, shouldn’t bother me. But just lately they do.

The really annoying thing is that I know who’s going to reply to this thread and what they’re going to say. [I]And I also know who’s going to refrain from posting because I of what I’ve just written in this paragraph.[/I]

I think I’m just tired/lonely/grumpy/etc

Feel free to ignore me. I would if it were you posting this


Cantus J Fraggle

ps I really dont like the word "whore"! I find it deeply offensive (even if it is said in jest).

who says people dont enjoy your random, almost-always-funny comments here, there and everywhere?

And, i daresay its a possibility that the admin member may have just been in a bad mood as well, hence the snappyness.

did you know i would write, and that i would ask if you knew if i'd write? or that if i asked if i wrote and you knew i was going to write, and that i was going to ask if you knew i was going to write, then why not just say at the bottom 'and MiG, i know you're going to ask me if i knew oyu were going to write'. but then, i probably wouldnt ask if you knew i was going to write if you said that you knew i was going to...damn. im lost again.

Edit: WOO! i got in first. kinda. well, not really, but yay anyway

Oh come now, whore is one of my favourite words for myself!

Sorry to hear you're having second thoughts about remaining part of this little madhouse. I for one would miss you if you stopped posting, and I'm sure many others would feel the same.

Think of this: On a site with over ten thousand members, should you expect to get on with everyone all the time?

now, on a more serious note, you, c@ntus, along with a couple of the other members, have been the guides for me (and i daresay many a n00b) in the general ettiquite for this forum, for forums in general, who to ask for what and where they are.

you, evidently, are a pretty good bloke. if i hadnt seen dozens of helpy posts about the place, what you said in that one above would have shown me that. forums in general need more people like you, that sit down and write more than three words in response to someone that asked 'what's good music to spin to?'

Also, i think it's somewhat natural to think about having a break after doing something for ages, and you've been here over three years now.

I like whores, but you have to go all the way to france to eat one.

cantus i know we aint ever officially been introduced or anything but i like reading your posts a lot....they are often funny/and or informative n creative too and i would be sorry to see you go.

obviously its up to you and i'm not trying to influence your decision or anything especially when i dont know any of the specifics but i thought sincerely telling ya that even people ya dont know would miss ya if ya were to leave might cheer ya up just a wee bit.

see ya around



ps...under normal circumstances i dont like the word "whore" either...and would never call anyone that in spite or use it in general conversation....but oooooooooooh man is it a good word to use in bed now n again with a lass who likes that kinda thing...its a top word then! hehe

maybe now is a good time to say
i too like reading your posts,
if you were to leave, HOP would miss you...

PS... this isnt just an attempt to cheer you up (but maybe it will anyway) but i took a look at your artwork (hope you dont mind) and tis very good - i esp liked the badgers! sorry for being nosey

Noooooo, don't go
Tis your choice and if you do, know that you will be missed. I know I'm only new here, but it's rare to meet someone with a mind like yours - oo, does this mean I should be afraid??

Besides, you haven't posted your Wellington photo's yet...

As you already knew I was going to post and what I was going to say, I'll save us all some time...

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No I won't You're not getting out of it that easily

I left earlier this year (I think you were still on your travels at the time) for similar, if not exactly identical reasons as yourself.

As previously mentioned by Mags: "On a site with over ten thousand members, should you expect to get on with everyone all the time?" I would say no, but also that this includes admins and moderator members as well.

Despite this, my view is: if you think something isn't right, you should still say so. HoP isn't what it used to be: I'm hardly one of the old-school myself, but it is different even from when I first joined. But leaving is unlikely to make it better, because most of HoP is what we make it.

Hope you keep visiting!!!!

wtf is going on here Cantus?? Obvioulsy, I'm outta the loop on something major, but dude... c'mon! We've been through stacks on this virtual space together. Don't go now. *gets that ancient rat cat song in her head*

As a mod, I fully appreciate your notifications. I certainly don't have enough time to review all the active threads regularly and more often than not, your notifications alert me to something that really needs mod/ admin attention, and I thank you for that.

Hope that you stay.

Mr fraggle ? i always appreciated your sense of humor .
Puk looks around for lurker's.

And futher more who will poke fun at me now (pouts here)

noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! c@ntus you can't leave!!!

we'll miss you too much! it would be so wierd trawling the corridors of hop without you jumping out from behind a door somewhere to rid the world of evil! (or just scare the pants off some unsuspecting sucker!)

seriously though - like someone else *too lazy to go back and look* said - on a site with this many members you can't expect to please everyone! i'm sure i've pissed somebody off somewhere on here! but it's the nature of the beast! this many people from all over the world?? they're SO not all gonna get along all the time!!

please stay c@ntus!

C@ntus, there isn't anything that I can say that hasn't already been said. I know that the decision is totally yours but I would miss you if you left.

And besides, I'm finally spelling your name right.

Cantus,

You're a great help to me and the website.
You help to make things better.
It would be sad to see you go. Both Cherry and I love reading many of your emails and posts.

We think of you lots and we appreciate your artwork in our house everyday.
But now I feel bad that we have not told you enough how much we appreciate you and your freindship.

Much respect

Malcolm

My mum thought i'd broken the computer when i cried out 'Oh no!' after i read the first line of your post
You can't leave, i always apreiciated being poked into the right place when i first joined, and still do now, wether it be malcolm, mod, or a humble member like you.
You can't leave - HoP loves you

Not only would the humour value of the site be lessened by a 3rd (saved only by UCOF and Bender) - but the standard of grammar would go through the floor too!

ahh, bet you didn't know i was gonna post.
when i first arived there was a bunch of people and you where one of them and then lots more bunches of people came and i havn't really seen many of the old bunch of people, if you leave there will be no one left.
(i apologise if there are any of the "old" bunch of people here and do not mean to be meen to anybody it's just that i probably can't remember the rest of the people or something like that)

p.s i do not mean to be meen to any newcomers.

Others have already beaten me to what I would otherwise say. Instead I will say that while reading your post, I kept wondering, why the person I remember wearing an orange balloon top-hat could be so sad?

So I suppose that what I'm saying is that I enjoy reading your humerous posts, and it would be a real shame if they were to end!

See you in hell bitch... save me a seat up front.

[Ha! Didn't see that one coming... well... probably of course you did.]

I'm gonna disagree with everyone else, not just cuz that's who I've become... I think the answer is within yourself. I think there are people here who would be happier people if they spent less time on HoP. But they're a bit addicted to the routine. Maybe I'm one of those people too. There's a tremendous amount of joy outside of this very grey website. Sometimes we need to venture forth from home to find things that give us light and joy.

I know there was a time when HoP gave you everything you needed buddy. And those times are no longer. And that's OK. You gotta go find what makes you smile. If it's not here, it's somewhere.

Maybe spending LESS time on HoP and commiting to find your smile or your 'mojo' or 'get your groove back' or whatever makes you giggle would be a good idea.

I've seen a very different Cantus since you've 'reappeared'. Maybe it's just a very different HoP since you've disappeared.

Pounce is no Cassandra.
UCOF is no Superman.

It's a different world in here these days. Maybe stepping back and looking for things in the real world to put your energy into would be a good idea.

I've been trying to take my own advice with that too... I do get much more joy out of hugging a friend in real life than pining over people I never get to see.

There's never any reason to blow us off completely. We'd miss you and we want to hear all of your adventures. But maybe you need to put more energy into things that will make you smile. But first you gotta find out what those things are... and that's the hardest part.

Peace and Love,
NYC

Ummmmmm, its generally kinda predictable to find a Rozi post following an NYC post that says "I'm saying what he is saying"... but...

C@ntus, you have had a tremendous year out exploring the world. And I hope you have found many things that delighted and inspired you.

The net, and especially HoP, can often provide a safe haven at times where we need to rest and recuperate. And sometimes it puts us in touch with people like us, just at the time when we are feeling isolated. HoP has done both these things for me.

Then there are times when you don't need it so much. The outside world beckons, and sometimes the net world seems too restrictive.

There is no need to say goodbye. I haven't done. I have said, "I will see you around, and I still love you all". I visit from time to time, but right now my energies are exchanged elsewhere.

So go and paint. Or travel some more. Teach a monkey new tricks Or learn some yourself.

Then pop your head round the door and say "guess what I have been doing!!!"

We care about you deeply and want to see you seek out your happiness wherever it takes you. So go and seek out joy. And come back and share it with us.

Pretty much what i was going to say has been said above....

You'll be missed but i agree with NYC - the answer is within yourself.

I personally hope you don't go though

hay baby, see how many people would miss you! i would...your the one person on here that talks to me most, and your the one who made the biggest effort to get to know me when i started posting a while back.

Tis your decision, but I truely hope you stay

Big love

As you decided to make a public thread of this instead of just emailing or PMing me...
</font><blockquote><font class="small">Written by: C@ntus</font><hr />

But it seems I was misguided in this belief as a senior member of the admin team chastised me the other night for doing just that.

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C@ntus - this is a load of and you're being overly melodramatic.

I did not 'chastise' you. In fact, I used the word 'appreciated' - specifically in regard to a user posting just to get a gallery. Ye, you do use the notify button a lot, which is fine as you probably read more of HoP than anyone. But some of the notifications are on old threads or multiple notifcations about one thread.

Personally, I'm not one to dress things up in cotton wool or appeal to your damaged self esteem and tell you that you shouldn't leave because there are other people to do that for me. Instead I'll be frank:

You spend too much time on Home of Poi. This is obvious from your high post count and the fact you must spend ages digging out old threads to bump. HoP is not a substitute for real life, not even a poor one. People you meet on 'HoP' are very real, but most of them are not really a part of your everyday 'real' life. Conversations and threads on HoP are not real conversations: face to face, with facial and tonal emotions.

So if you left HoP, or cut down your surfing hours and did something more vaired then in so many ways you'd probably get more out of your time.

Really the decision is yours, leave or stay. But do it for your own, real reasons.

nothing stays the same for ever.

you change, friends change, life changes. sometimes you move onto new things without even realising, sometimes you need to make a conscious choice about what is best for you.

birth, life, death. its one big cycle that applies to everything -relationships, hobbies etc. sometimes a fresh start is just what you need - life a midlife crisis. sometimes not - that loss of stability can be hard.
do whats best for your own peace of mind, and happiness.

C@ntus - did you change the title to "C@ntus' public sulk - please return the pacifier to his pram on way out"? I hope so - for admin to do so would be out of order

First of all, I think it should be noted that C@ntus wrote:

Written by:

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I think I’m just tired/lonely/grumpy/etc
Feel free to ignore me. I would if it were you posting this

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I can see Andypoi's point, Dom. C@ntus didn't name anyone. Nor did he mention that he uses the notify button a lot. If I use the notify button, whether once or often, I wouldn't want that fact broadcast publicly. I thought that kind of information was supposed to be confidential, otherwise what's the point?

And what's wrong with bumping old threads? We're constantly being encouraged to search for old threads instead of making new ones about the same subject: why is this any different? Personally, I enjoy being reminded of the more classic threads.

I'm not sure what the probelm is with multiple notifications either. Does that mean if we notify admin about one occurence in a thread, we're not supposed to do so again if something else happens in it?

Maybe C@ntus spends too much time on HoP, maybe he doesn't. I don't know how well you two know each other, or whether he agrees with that aspect. But I think, when discussed past the point of jest, that's something for him to decide. He does have a high post count, but would you be saying the same if it was another of our higher posters concerned?

Dom, you posted the FAQ...can you honestly say it applied to your post?