The official "What would you do to your cranky neighbor" Thread.

This is the official
"What would you do to you cranky neighboor"
Thread
I want to know what you would do to your cranky neighboor and.........why?
I personally would set thier house on fire and call thier Lawn gnomes cowards, and pull the finger of the fifty foot tall man.

Becoz i don't like thier chicken flavored Ramen noodles.

I knew a 75 foot man. then we burned him.

the best thing to do to a cranky neighbor is watch until they leave, find a way in and rearrange their furniture. dont steal anything, just move it. reapeat this procedure every time they leave

Id be exceedingly, sickeningly nice to them ALL THE TIME!

Failing that id cut thier dogs heads off, tie them to chains, light them and spin whilst singing "I know a song thatll get on your nerves, get on your nerves get on your nerves"

N

*frowns disapprovingly* Don't hurt puppies.

Love thy neighbour!

Why are they cranky? What are you doing to annoy them? I know that some people are just generally hard to deal with, but if you're doing something that causes them to react negatively (whether or not they have the right to) I guess you gotta take a step back from the situation and look at it from their perspective. You know, do unto others and all that....

I don't have a cranky neighbour, I am the cranky neighbour!!! I want to put a notice on their door that says:

Do you recognise this conversation?
(fill in transcript of inane conversation on mobile phone)
If this was your conversation, held at 5am Monday morning on the pathway just outside my bedroom window, then I would like to suggest that you get a life, or at least get your voicebox removed. And BTW, your mum doesn't need to know that you are "just going to the station now" at 5am...

we've got this like 5t high irish madmad living next to us that shouts stuff like " C HIGH C HIGH C HIGH" whatever that means, i wouln't wanna do anything to crank him up any further or he will actually physically explode.

peace at free parteeeeez!

watch out that he doesn't steal your lucky charms!! *cracks self up*

Errrrmmmmmm........
Tie them to a chair, get a drill with a small drill bit and drill several holes in each of their joints (ie knees not reefas)
Cover them in sugary stuff and then set some bees on them for an hour or so.
Hit them randomly so they don't know when it's coming next, and slash their face with very sharp razor blades for a bit. (TCP throwing at your discretion)
Then nail their wrist to a work bench, leave them a rusty hacksaw blade and set the building on fire.
Tell them they have to cut their own arm off to escape..........
Then turn your music up louder.

Obviously you should send them an "I'm sorry" card or they might end up bearing a grudge, and that's never a good thing to happen.
I mean, you don't want them cranky the next day as well, do you?

Or you could just say sorry for being a person that they had to get cranky with in the first place.....far less stress and you don't have to catch any bees.

I'd go for the breaking in and rearranging stuff like master sodium said, you could hide the remote controls too, that'd drive them insane if you put them in the fridge or something.

You could also glue their toilet seat down and set up a webcam overlooking the toilet and the bathroom sink - they're only going to find out it's glued down when they need the toilet, so you get to watch them frantically try to get the seat up.
If they don't manage it, you might also get to see them using the sink instead if they're desperate enough - which you can record and use to blackmail them the next time they get cranky

You really need to find out why they're cranky though, and then apologise. Even if you don't mean it but can sound convincing, it'll make things easier then next time they get annoyed

Ok you have to be careful not to cross the line into vandalizm,but little things drive people crazy.as said rearange the furniture,or if he has a garage door opener ,when he leaves go lock the door.
Or you could take the muffler off of your chainsaw (makes it loud)and run around in your lawn in your underwear and a ski mask while weilding it in an unsafe manner.they will never bother you again.
get a lock from home depot and change the front door locks.post sighns in his lawn like this guy touches little boys in their swimsuit area.

Okay now your talking revenge right??

This is what you do, forget about TPing their house or throwing eggs at their front door. Get some dehidrated milk (the poweder) and poor it all over their lawn. In the morining the dew will liquify it and by mid day their yard will reak soo soo bad. Also break open their AC to their house and throw a couple of eggs and some meet in there (preferably fish). Trust me they will be puking in a matter of days.

Now all of this is not really illeagle, except for the harrassment side of things, but atleast its not a fellony like arsin

You could put a classified ad in the local paper under their name advertising something really irresistable like a 2003 Harly Davidson for $500 or something like that, be shure to put their home and work phone numbers in the ad and mention that they will take calls 24 hours a day.

You could go to the post office and pick up a stack of mail forwarding cards, and forward all their mail to an address in like Galway, or Edenburough or somehting, keep changing it every week or two, and while you're at it you can get all their phone calls forwarded too. You cold even forward them to like a senators office or something.

Or possibly my favorite:

Go to the library where they keep all the old magazines. Go through and pull out all, and I mean all of those little Buisness Reply Mail cards. Fill them all out with your neighbors adress and info. In four to six weeks they will be buried under a pile of porcelin dolls, overpriced chess sets, bibles, collectors plates and all the useless crap you can think of. If you neighbor is married be shure to get subsciptions to every porno mag and sex toy catolog you can find. This will not only be horribly annoying for your neigbor, but possibly also quite expensive as most companies will accept their merchandise back, but will still hold the adressee liable for postage.

These I think would be much healthier than burning down their house, and will keep the cops from poking around your house aking you why your neighbors house burned down.

[ 11 September 2002, 12:32: Message edited by: SickpuPpy ]