Should Children be allowed to spin socks?

Having followed the progress of a number of recent HoP thread controversies, I have been forced into reassessing some of my basic assumptions about life, intelligence, human development and common sense. Leading me to the non-burning question: should children be allowed to spin socks? (or 'sox', for those in the USA)

Based on two primary axioms: the known addictiveness of spinning ANYTHING, and the apparent lack of logical brain structures in anyone under (what's the latest...56? 21? 18??) here are my reasons why, NO, Children Should Not be Allowed to Spin Socks.

1. Danger of RSI from small repetitive movements especially in developing ligaments.

2.Addictiveness: inevitability of ending up on the hard stuff (garters, fishnet tights)

3. Fumes (particularly applies to teenage boys or the offspring of people who apparently spin burning rubber tyres up to 23 hours a day)

4. Children confusing socks with shoes: possibility of concussion. Particularly as they are drawn towards steel capped boots when trying to look hard (normally difficult when spinning socks...)

5 Addictiveness: child being unable to dress themselves for school unsupervised in case they start spinning and miss the bus

6. Repeated missing school leading to career and associated lifetime disaster

7 Children murdering each other for their socks (well, it's already happened with trainers....)

8 Children getting involved younger and younger, eventually robbing babies of their booties

9 Possibility of being sued by the parents of murdered children or robbed babies for breaching duty of care (or even duty of scare)

10 Lifelong confusion of appropriate placement of footwear: could end up going to the school prom wearing elbow length satin sox

11 Given the similarities of sock spinning and certain behaviours generally associated with psychotic illness (compulsive meaningless behaviours, vacant expressions, confusing psytrance with music), involvement of school psychiatric teams could lead to misdiagnosis and inappropriate therapies including electroshock treatment and psychotropic drugs

12 Developing a taste for electroshock treatment and psychotropic drugs leading to involvement in rave culture including glowstringing and associated semantics

13 As no adult, let alone a child, is able to understand what is really happening in the middle of a hyperloop, close peering while trying to work it out could lead to a child's nose being pinched, squints or other facial injury. How are you going to explain to an 8 year old that they are scarred for life? ( ref to # 6 career, social disaster)

14 Underage sox leading to confusion of boundaries and promiscuity. A lifetime of having indiscriminate and compulsive sox with strangers at juggle jams, parties and festivals.

15 Having peaked too early leading to dangerous experimentation eg sock breathing

16 Eventually discovering HoP and then spending 100 times longer on the internet than they other wise would have. Varicose veins, deep vein thrombosis from sitting still too long. Could also happen while attempting 'London' style spinning (from standing in the one place too long)

I'm sure you can all think of plenty more.

My 14 year old daughter (who saw her brother start to spin fire at her age and subsequently develop into a world travelling professional; and who is therefore well acquainted with the *knoxious* lifestyle early exposure to the 'manipulative arts' can produce) thinks this is such a serious issue that we should pool our resources for an international campaign to eliminate children from having any contact with socks at all. She thinks that billions of kids getting blisters is worth it, so long as one child is protected from these dangers. If they object that the adults are able to wear socks she said to tell them it's for their own good. We're adults and can think straight.

They have to wait until they turn 18 (...21... 56?) when their brain structures switch on and it will all be OK

amen

nothing to add there

I laughed out loud at number 16.
Even if I tried I could not preach such sarcasm without coming off mean. Well done.

It's all the Americans fault.

bloody americans

i think if you let them practise as much as they want they will become the next genaration

Are you taking the piss out of another thread?

smirk

Do you bite your tongue often when its that far in your cheek???

Did Ben demand a private jetty at your place and arent they the best houseguests??

but number 10 is a serious issue.

i'm certainly confused.


cole. x

glowstringing and associated semantics

OMG number 5

my 4 year old can't get dressed or undressed with spinning every item of clothing
.... or pretty much anything else he gets his hands on he makes me proud

I thought this was going to be a complete piss take of the £allowed to spin fire" thread... or maybe it is, and im just dumb....


damn funny tho... i fear i may be guilty of a few things here, but im not admitting to any of it

<standing ovation>

I'm starting to understand the difference betwen American sarcasm and international sacrasm.

*Yawn*

actually, now that you mention it - what does "sox" have to do with the USA, except in conjunction with a couple baseball teams?

what, that american sarcasm usually comes from you and is directed at other people whereas international sarcasm comes from other people and is usually directed at america?

tell me, which makes you laugh more nyc - your sarcasm or other people's...?




cole. x

p.s. for van i don't think the imaginary word 'sox' is used in any country of the world other than america - please correct me if i'm wrong...

Because everyone in the USA is stupid and they spell things wrong or else why would it be called "English"?

cos the Scots are too modest?

and the irish are too ironic

and the welsh already have welsh (the world's most perfect language).


cole. x

Gabe's a silly lass.