Poi Friend vs Real Friend paradox... [Dated 2001!]

I've thought about what you describe...

I figure every friendship I have is different. Some ppl are old school buddies who I might drive down to the beach with. Some friends are ppl I've met through fire twirling, who live a *long* way away.

Some ppl are high maintenance, some ppl are not...as long as you have a bunch of good friends (whatever they bring to the table - they are still good friends) you are lucky

Paradox? -> time management!

Josh

And Yes, Josh, all friends are different. I for one feel closer to some people thousands of miles away than I do those nearby. I have talked more with my friends in Australia than I have with friends I have known for years. It is time management and work for friendships to build and flourish.

All friends are different. In actuality my closest friends I have *only* known for 6 years or so. I can tell them my life story and bring them up to the level of "lynnie knowledge" of friends I have known forever(and bore them to tears), then they can empathize with my growing pains as I can theirs. That is where the history connection ends. What I do now and the path I am on is far more steady now than when I was in, say, high school, and far more different. Life has taken those friends of old on different routes than I so while we may enjoy reminiscing, those who are involved in my life now have what I view as a more important role. My history is rocky and I admire anyone who walked that path with me and retained thier sanity but in growing up we are still finding "ourselves", let alone figuring out what friendship is, and we didn't get the best part of what those people had to offer, nor did we give our best. Now I know me very well, and I know I can give to whomever wants it. I also know what I concider to be a friend versus an acquaintence and I know what I want in friendships beyond a movie and poi. I do think they can be combined, with time and effort on all parties involved. There are those that don't let you in, there are those that slack in time (sorry to you for that...and to the others), but the potential is still their. The "newer" friends can know my history and still share my interests (even if they don't participate) where as the old friends tend to not go that road. *sigh* I think that it is different for everyone though, depending on ties forged and such, but in the end all friends are important, no matter where they fit into our lives.
Ironically for me, my poi friends can more accurately be described as my HoP friends. My non-fire friends each participate in their own way in my fire endeavors without actually doing the fire. Many are safeties, others are always audience members cheering me on, or brainstorming partners. Somehow they support me in the same ways as all of you. In fact, NYC, the most fun I have had with the people I have met from HoP came not from the time spent spinning, but more from sitting under the stars and talking...say, in a grassy field in New Hampshire, or on a rooftop in Bushwick. From my birthday some of the most touching moments came from the fact that Cassandra remembered it and I received a phone call from a friend who started as a HoP acquaintence from Oz. I went to the movies with the crew in NH, and spent a few splendid afternoons doing completely non-poi things in NYC.
It is all in how you view this world. If it is large and distance is a barricade to you, then of course you will view your relationships differently. If, in your eyes, it is small then you are simply biding time until you can be together.
Worse yet, though, are the people who you thought were friends but were actually riding you coat tails to be "cool" or whatever by association. That is not those who learn but those who hang around you, don't do much and then tell people they are associated with you or do the arts when they don't. That is weird.
That being said...when are you coming up for a visit NYC?
Love

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Pele
Higher, higher burning fire...making music like a choir...

http://www.pyromorph.com

okay now i am rambling. mid-school shout out to ya, or new school, whatever. as long as i have my ass in class right?

[This message has been edited by pozee (edited 17 October 2001).]

What a great topic, and i have to agree with everything already said (so I won't say it again).

Another spanner in the works is the groups of friends i had when I went to Uni. There were three distinct groups, The Academics, The P*ssheads and The Normals with hardly anyone fitting into more than one group.

I learned early on (I was young remember...) that just because people are your friends, doesn't mean that they get on with each other, and had lots of problems when one group met the other in any sort of high numbers.

As an example, for my 21st, I had to have seperate one for the pissheads, and ensure the Academics and Normals had a few extra rooms to distance themselves in without all hell breaking loose.

I have a similar situation now, but with smaller numbers (thank god), with hippie-types, academics, pissheads, poets, performers and programmers. We have a great time when together, but when i'm with some people with different groups they feel uncomfortable and often some leave sooner than usual.

what I find really hard is how to see them all often enough to keep the friendships fresh and interesting, but also keep them apart enough to prevent hassles.

Getting on with everyone is what I'm supposedly good at (my day job involves this a lot) but sometimes it can be a lot of hard work...

Maybe i'll just

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Charles (INFERNO)

newdolbel@hotmail.com
http://juggling.co.nz

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JÅMé§ §HéÞÅ®Ð
isarangheyo@netzero.net

Before I met them, I always had two groups of friends. I was the "wild one" with my more conservative group of friends, and the "strait one" with my party friends (guess who they caled when they needed someone to bail them out of jail?). Never really fit into either crowd, which was the the story of my life.

But now I am fortunate enough to have a score and more of friends who know how to have a REALLY good time, but still actually manage to lead meaningful lives. I've been blessed, and it is all thanks to the fire.

Burn on, -v-

"My worlds are colliding! My worlds are colliding!" - George Castanza

So, what is a friend ? I totally agree obviously that we all have *very* different friends with whom we share different things as well. I can completely relate to some of what Charles describes ! I am very pleased though to get along with such different people. It felt even better once I did come to accept that if I love A and B, they won't necessarily get along. And also that if I've found amazing pleasure and energy from doing aikido or poi or whatever it does not necessarily mean that it will change everybody's life...

I truly beleive one recognizes a friend when you are happy. What do I mean ? I mean that you can sometimes be in deep trouble or simply very down and sad and some people will reject you. These are definitely *not* your friends. But those who help are not always your friends either, as silly as it may sound. Because to some people it is pleasant and easy to deal with others when they are "lower" than you. Make no mistake, I am not spitting on the great people I have around me who supported me sometimes when I had troubles... just something I've come to realize looking around me. When something good happens on the other hand, not everybody genuinely and truly shares your happiness. Jealousy/envy is always around the corner, we're only human ...

Anyway, so how do you recognize your "true " friends ? you don't always do, sometimes a bit too late ... but when they're around it does feel real good !!!

As for poi friends versus real friends ??? Truth is I don't know so many firedancers in real life so I converted some of my friends to the world of poi. But they remain "the old friends" I guess.

Yet I realized every now and then that I mention some of you in my every day life and my friends were really surprised in the beginning that I should talk about HOP people as I talk about other people allthough have not met anyone (or almost anyone) yet. Made me wonder too...
My "poi friends" are basically the people from the HOP and especially those I am lucky enough to be individually in contact with. Love them very much and very sincerely . As to whether it is superficial or not ? I don't really know . I have had some "friendships" with people from my neighbourhood for years which turned out to be superficial as hell while there are a few people here whom I've never met IRL and yet with whom I discussed things that I don't often share (now, that's back to my other question about "online personnalities" and what everyone added in this thread !).

I am no more no less true to the HOP friends than I am to the people I may meet in Paris or elsewhere. I am friendly and care and easily love people. Yet it takes me ages to trust someone . This is when time plays a big role (not on the intensity of the friendship, but on the sort of calm peace that goes with it when you are one of these idiots like me who fear to be abandoned somehow...). And this is when physical contact also means something because I am an animal and trust my instincts. Don't give a flying scoobidoo whether those I talk to and love on the HOP are one/two/three legged , green skin or anything like that, but I definitely trust the eye contact at some point. This is why you all should watch out, I'm gonna come and hug you in person one of these days ...

Much love
Shine on
Cassandra

PS : Pele, I am glad I could put a smile on your face. But this love you get from people is no wonder : in some cases people do get what they deserve !!!!

does that mean I have a hug to look forward to at some time in the future?

Things are looking up.....

Or was I not included in that?

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C@ntus

[OK, I'm kidding but it did work ]

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C@ntus

NYC, it is amazing what a man can do to attract the attention of a woman ...
I thought it was a very interesting thread anyway !

SHine on
Cassandra

As for the HoP community, I also feel that I 'know' a lot of people here - even though I haven't met them or even talked to them directly. In a way it's nice to meet people that I share the common ground of fire twirling with, but that you can talk to about other stuff as well. And I have to say, anyone I have met from here has turned out to be a jolly nice chap(ess).

The more of you I can meet in real life, the better

Princess xxx

PS: Charles - I am now starting to worry about which student category I fit into... Is anyone a normal? *looks furtively around uni computer room* Because I don't think they are here...

My poi/traveller (I find most are inter-connected)friends have become a lifeline as we share so many common views/interests and I now feel as though i am part of a new *family*. We don't just poi/play together we are true friends.

I feel I should explain that I have radically changed my lifestyle in the past few years and that because of this I have lost quite alot of my old friends. I used to be a receptionist for a big corperation and most of my friends had similar *straight* lives. When I met a *traveller* and discovered a different life alot of ppl turned away from me.

However this does not make me sad as i know that we each have our own path to follow in life.

Onelove, thistlefirepixie